Chapter 2: Sweet Dreams
Fitz is sitting at his desk reviewing the latest briefings from the Joint Chiefs of Staff. It is only 9:30am and he is already on his second scotch of the day. He is slightly surprised when the personal line in his office rings. Instinctively, he knows it is her. He almost doesn't answer the phone, but his curiosity gets the better of him
"Yes," he says coolly.
"Hi," she says tentatively.
"What do you want?"
She hesitates for a moment, not answering him.
"What do you want Ms. Pope? Either answer me or I am hanging up."
"I need to see you. Can you get away and come by my apartment?"
"Why in the hell would I want to do that?" he says angrily.
"Please Fitz," she begs, "it's important."
"There is nothing I want to hear from you Olivia. Goodbye."
"Fitz, please wait, don't hang up. I really need to talk to you."
"Then say what you need to say!"
"Fitz, please I can't do this over the phone."
"OLIVIA, STOP WASTING MY TIME! EITHER SAY WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY OR GET OFF MY PHONE!"
She took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant."
The only response she receives is the sound of Fitz hanging up the phone.
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Fitz is sitting at his desk with his hand still on the phone. His head is spinning. Did Olivia really just tell him she is pregnant? He releases the phone and pushes back from his desk. Picking up the glass on his desk, he walks over to the side table and pours a hefty amount of scotch. He drinks deeply from the glass.
He paces around the room trying to process what she said. There was a time when he would have been elated with this news. His Livvie pregnant with their child. But now, with everything that has happened between them, he feels nothing but anger. The anger overwhelms him and he throws the glass of scotch across the room. The secret service agent outside the door enters when he hears the glass shatter.
"Sir, are you okay?" he asks.
"No, Brian, I am not. I need to get out of here. Please have my car brought around."
"Yes sir. May I tell the detail where we are headed?"
"Olivia Pope's apartment."
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Olivia sits staring at her phone. She cannot believe Fitz hung up on her. She had not expected him to be overjoyed and instantly filled with forgiveness, but she had expected to have some sort of conversation about their situation. The fact that he had ended their call without a word left her feeling utterly alone.
She instinctively heads to the kitchen and pours herself a large glass of red wine. She raises the glass to her lips and then quickly remembers that wine is no longer a part of her diet. She stands there staring into the wineglass, lost in her thoughts. A knock at the door brings her back to the present. She sets the glass aside and goes to answer the door.
She is not surprised to see Fitz on the other side of the door. Silently she steps aside to allow him to enter the apartment. She closes the door but does not move any further into the room. She stands with her back to the door, watching Fitz as he paces the room. He finally stops pacing and turns to her.
"So am I the first to know your happy news?" he asks with a touch of sarcasm in his voice.
"You are the first one I called as soon as I found out," she says evenly.
"Shouldn't you have called the father first? I mean, it's only right that he knows before anyone else."
She is stunned and hurt by his words. "I think you should leave now."
"What's your game Olivia?"
"What are you talking about? There is no game."
"Did you think this news would have me running back to your arms? Ready to forgive all of your sins."
"I'm not Mellie, I don't play games. The last thing I would do is purposely bring an innocent life into this mess to try and trap you in a relationship with me."
"How do I even know it's mine?"
Olivia's blood is boiling. She stalks across the room and stands toe to toe with Fitz.
"Did you really just ask me that? Go to hell! Listen you son of a bitch, I don't expect anything from you. I thought it was only right that you know about the baby. If you don't want to have any part of its life, that's fine by me. Now get out."
She stands aside, her chest heaving with anger. Fitz glares down at her briefly and then walks past her towards the door. He hesitates before he opens the door, turning to face her once more. The anger and hurt he sees on her face breaks his heart, but he can't stop himself from dishing out one final jab.
"Good luck with the new baby. I'm sure you and the father will be very happy."
"GET OUT!"
He turns, opens the door and walks out, slamming the door shut behind him. He stands outside the door for a moment, trying to collect himself. He feels guilty about his behavior with Olivia, but he couldn't help it. She shattered his world. Suddenly, he feels dizzy and nauseous. He bends over taking deep breaths. He can hear Olivia on the other side of the door. She is sobbing uncontrollably. His heart breaks at the sound of her cries. He wants to go to her, but he can't. Tears begin to fall from his eyes. What has he done?
Brian steps forward, "Sir, what can I do?"
"Just take me home." Fitz whispers.
Brian helps him up and leads him to the elevators.
Olivia falls into the chair and begins to cry. How could he be so cruel? Did he really hate her so much that he would deny their child? Suddenly, she feels sick. She rushes down the hall to the bathroom and throws up in the toilet. She stays curled up over the bowl for several minutes dry heaving, the tears still falling. Finally she gets up, washes her hands and face and brushes her teeth, all while avoiding looking at her reflection in the mirror. She takes off her clothes and crawls into bed. For the second time in less than 24 hours, Olivia cries herself to sleep.
In the back of the limo, Fitz stares blankly out of the window. He replays the fight with Olivia in his mind. He was so cruel to her. In his heart of hearts he knows that the baby is his. He also knows that he wants to be a part of the baby's life. If he were truly honest with himself, he wants to be a part of Olivia's life. He needs to move pass Defiance. He needs to find a way to forgive her. If not for his sake, for the sake of their unborn child.
He pushes the intercom button, "Brian, please turn around and return to Ms. Pope's residence."
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He stands at her bedside, watching her sleep. Even in sleep he can see the stress and pain he has caused her written on her face. When he strokes her cheek softly she doesn't stir. Quietly he takes his clothes off, laying them on the chair next to the bed. He lifts the covers and gets into bed with her. He kisses her softly on the lips once. She moans quietly and moves closer to him. He puts his arm around her and pulls her even closer. He knows she is awake when he feels her body tense up in his arms.
"Livvie, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me," his voice cracks. "I was hurt and angry and I didn't know how to handle it. I love you and I love our baby. Please forgive me."
She pushes away from him slightly to look in his eyes. His normally sparkling blue eyes are a dull gray, bloodshot and filled with tears. She reaches up and wipes his tears away.
"I want to forgive you Fitz, but the things you said to me were too much," she moves to get out of bed.
He reaches out and pulls her back to him. "Please don't go. I know we have a lot to sort out, but I just want to be here with you right now. "
She looks at him and her body moves involuntarily towards him. She strokes his cheek and leans in kissing him gently on the lips. Fitz sighs at her touch.
"You hurt me," she says with tears in her eyes.
"I am so sorry Livvie. If it takes me the rest of my life, I will make it up to you." Tears flow from his eyes. All of the anger and hurt are slowly leaving his body. He is beginning to heal and soon he will be whole again.
Olivia lays down next to him again with her head on his chest. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. It is the most relaxed and peaceful either of them have felt in months.
"Livvie, please look at me," Fitz says after they had been laying there in quietness for a few moments.
When she lifts her head to look up at him, he leans down and kisses her. At first the kiss is tentative, each wondering how far the other is willing to go. The longer their lips are joined, the deeper the kiss becomes. Fitz runs his hands up and down Olivia's torso. Relishing in the softness of her skin. He has missed her so much that just feeling her skin against his hands is enough to make him cry.
Olivia's hands find the nape of his neck and she begins to run her fingers through the curls on the back of his head. She has missed him so much. Just the feel of his hair through her fingers is enough to make her cry.
They break apart, gasping for air. Fear is holding them both back from admitting to each other what they want at this moment.
"I have never stopped loving you Fitz." Olivia says, breaking the silence and the tension of the moment.
Those words are music to his ears. Kissing her deeply again, he positions himself so that he is on top of her. He moves down her body. Kissing her neck, collarbone and the tops of each breast. He sucks one nipple gently, while massaging the other breast. Olivia arches her back in an effort to get him to suck and touch her even more. Fitz lays kisses down her stomach. When he reaches her "womb" he stops and places several light kisses there.
"Hello little one. I want you to know that I love you very much. I will always be here for you, no matter what happens."
Olivia's heart swells with love for Fitz at that moment. She realizes that they will be okay. It will take time, but they will rebound from this hellish year and make their relationship work. They will be a family one day.
Fitz resumes his way down Olivia's body, finally reaching his favorite spot. As he nudges her knees apart, she stops him, "Wait, don't do that," she says.
Fitz looks up at her, sadness and fear in his eyes. Had she changed her mind? Did she not want him anymore?
"I need you to make love to me Fitz. Slowly and tenderly. I need to feel you inside of me. Please," she says quietly.
Fitz was relieved by her request. He moves back up her body and she opens her legs wider to accommodate him. He grasps his hardened cock and guides it into her slowly until he completely fills her up. They moan in unison. She runs her hands up and down his back before finally settling on his ass. She grips his ass, urging him to go deeper. He lifts her left leg and puts it over his shoulder. This angle allows him deeper penetration and he begins to move faster and harder.
"Oh Fitz . . . that feels so good. Please don't stop," she says breathlessly. She is meeting him stroke for stroke.
Her request spurs him on more. He doubles his efforts and his reward is the feeling of her walls tightening around his cock.
"I've missed you so much Livvie. I never want to be without you again."
"Umm Fitz, please make me cum. I need to cum for you."
He continues to move in and out of her. Enjoying the feel of being in her once again. He knows their release is near. She pants out his name several times and suddenly her back arches and she is crying out his name. Her walls close around his cock and draws him deeper into her. The sensation of her vibrating walls causes his release moments later. He withdraws from her and rolls over on his side.
"I love you Livvie," he says smiling at her.
"I love you to Fitz, always."
Suddenly her cellphone starts to ring. Olivia looks for her phone on the night stand but it is not there. She must have left it in the living room. She gets out of bed and follows the sound of the ringing phone, but she can't locate it anywhere. She flips over cushions still no phone. She looks under the couch, still no phone. She is confused. She can still hear it ringing, but she can't find it anywhere.
"Fitz, is my phone in there? I can't find it out here," she calls out to him.
He doesn't answer.
"Fitz?" she calls as she heads back to the bedroom. Fitz is no longer in the bed. His clothes that were on the chair are gone.
She looks in the bathroom, no Fitz. She looks in the guest bathroom and guest bedroom, no Fitz. Frightened she calls out his name.
"Fitz, where are you? Don't leave me again! Please don't leave me again," she cries.
Her heart is beating rapidly. She is confused. Where did he go? Why can't she find her phone? What is going on?
Suddenly, Olivia sits up in bed with a start. Her cellphone is ringing. It is right on the nightstand where she left it. She looks at the other side of her bed, it is undisturbed. It was all a dream. Fitz was never here. He hadn't come back to apologize and they didn't make love. It was all a sweet dream.
She picks up the phone and hits the ignore button. Once again she begins to cry. She decides at that moment that she needs a break. She gets out of bed and gets dressed. She quickly packs her suitcase. She has to get away. Go somewhere and get her head together. She will call her team in the morning and let them know she will be out of pocket for a while. She trusts them to run the business flawlessly in her absence.
Just as she closes the front door, her forgotten cellphone, still on the nightstand, begins to ring.
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Fitz lets himself into Olivia's apartment after she didn't answer his 5 minutes of knocking. The place is quiet. He makes his way back to the bedroom and finds her sleeping. He stands at her bedside, watching her sleep. Even in sleep he can see the stress and pain he has caused her on her face. She can see the trail of tears she cried before falling asleep. When he strokes her cheek softly she doesn't stir. He leans over and kisses her gently on the lips.
He thinks about undressing and getting into bed with her, but he isn't sure what her reaction will be. He settles for watching her sleep. Suddenly her cellphone begins to ring. She stirs slightly in her sleep. He doesn't want her to find him standing over her.
"Until tomorrow my Livvie. Sweet dreams," he says quietly and exits the room.
He makes his way down the hall and out the front door, closing it softly behind him. He plans to call her tomorrow to make arrangements to speak face to face. They will work this out. They will be a family.
A/N: Well tell me what you think! I live and love your comments. I know some of you will be mad at me for keeping Angry Fitz around. Just remember the old saying, "It is always darkest before the dawn." My heart was pounding so hard as I wrote this chapter. I could feel the anguish and hurt both Liv and Fitz are going through.
As always, I would love to know your comments/feedback.
For those of you reading The Summer She Grew Up, I am still working on it, just hang in there an update is coming soon. For the Love of Harper has been at the forefront of my mind, but don't fear, I haven't given up on Summer.
