Chapter 5: Rocks and Ripples
Fitz is at a loss. He wants to go to Olivia and force her to make a decision, but he know that if he pushes her she will elect to leave him and he can't even fathom that outcome. So he tries to be patient and wait for her to come out of the library. He goes to his room and puts on jeans and a white fitted t-shirt. He resumes the position he had on the porch the night before only this time he is sipping iced tea instead of scotch.
He takes a moment to enjoy the peaceful surroundings. He smiles as he watches squirrels race up a nearby tree. He relishes in the feel of the sun on his face. He lets his mind wander. He imagines Olivia with her swollen belly walking hand and hand with him through the grounds. They are happy and relaxed and completely in love. His fantasy jumps ahead a little and he can see his children, all three of them, running around the yard chasing bubbles and laughing. He can see the family he so desperately needs and he is terrified that it will never happen. He is unaware of the tears that fall from his eyes.
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Olivia paces around the library for an hour, trying to make a decision. She wants desperately to run to Fitz and say yes, I want to be with you and yes we can make this work. But, she doesn't see how they can be together without imploding his Presidency and without her looking like a home wrecker in the media. Should she follow her heart and throw caution to the wind or should she be the good girl and walk away, even though this will break both of their hearts?
Suddenly she feels like the room is closing in on her. She needs to get out and get some air. She hears the shower running upstairs, so she quickly exits the library, careful to close the door behind her; goes to her room and trades her yoga pants for a pair of jeans and puts on her socks and running shoes. She quietly leaves her room, heads down the hallway to the kitchen where she grabs a bottle of water and an apple. She exits the house through the patio and heads down the path that leads to the pond.
She sits along the pond bank on a weather worn rock. She throws stones into the water and watches the ripples. She imagines each rock is represents one of the possible decisions she could make.
She tosses a rock, representing her decision to stay with Fitz, into the pond.
Plunk!
Each ripple represents what will happen, in order, once the news got out about them:
Ripple #1 – Grant children are devastated by their father's betrayal. His relationship with them in severely damaged, who knows for how long.
Ripple #2 – Presidency is destroyed. Who wants a philandering President? He's impeached? His legacy ruined?
Ripple #3 – The shit storm Mellie will unleash. Takes his children, his money. Uses everything she has in her arsenal to ruin him (and Olivia).
Ripple #4 – Her reputation and the reputation of OPA ruined. She will probably have to leave D.C. in order to get any peace from the media.
Ripple #5 – Her child carries the stigma of being President's bastard child.
Olivia tosses another rock, representing Fitz being a part of their child's life without a relationship with her:
Plunk!
Ripple #1 – Again, the Grant children are devastated by their father's betrayal. His relationship with them in severely damaged, who knows for how long.
Ripple #2 – Again, his Presidency is destroyed. Who wants a philandering President? He's impeached? His legacy ruined?
Ripple #3 Again, her child carries the stigma of being President's bastard child.
Ripple #4 – Again, the shit storm Mellie will unleash. Takes his children, his money. Uses everything she has in her arsenal to ruin him (and Olivia).
She tosses another rock, representing her decision to leave Fitz altogether, into the pond:
Plunk!
Ripple #1 – He's sad and alone. Does he return to drinking? Likely does not seek another term as President. But current term unmarked by their affair. His legacy stays intact.
Ripple #2 – She's sad and alone and a single mother.
Ripple #3 – Her child grows up without a father.
There are no easy answers. Someone is going to lose in this situation. The questions she has to answer are: Does she want Fitz? Will they really fight for their relationship? Can she live with herself if he gives everything up for her and their child?
Can she make a decision for her own happiness that will destroy so many people? Can she really be selfish to only think of herself and her child? She pulls her knees up to her chin and crosses her arms across them. Burying her head in her arms she begins to cry.
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Fitz starts to worry about Olivia. It's 3pm and she hasn't left the library. He wants to give her all the space she needs, but nothing is going to get solved if they don't talk. Besides, she needs to eat something. If not for her, for their baby.
He goes to the kitchen and prepares a plate of fruit and cheese for her. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, he heads to the library with her lunch.
"Olivia?" he says as he knocks. She doesn't answer, so he knocks again. "Olivia, can I come in? I brought you something to eat."
Still no response. He is begins to get angry again. It's one thing to need time to think, it's another to shut him out. He knocks again, a little more forcefully, "Olivia!"
"Excuse me sir," Brian says, "Ms. Pope is not in there."
"What? Where is she?" Fitz demands.
"She is down by the pond sir."
"How long has she been down there?"
"She left the premises shortly after you went upstairs this morning sir. We were conducting our perimeter sweep when Joe noticed her leaving by the patio door. He followed her, at a discreet distance. She has been there ever since sir."
"Thank you Brian," Fitz says as he puts the fruit plate and water on the hall table and heads out to find Olivia.
She feels his presence before she hears his footsteps on the well-worn path. She can tell by his walk that he is angry, likely because she left the house without telling him. He reaches the clearing and stops when he sees her sitting at the edge of the pond on a large rock. She looks so small sitting there with the weight of their world on her shoulders.
He walks a little closer then stops, putting his hands in his pockets. "Are you okay? Brian says you have been out here for a while."
"I'm fine. I just needed some air."
"You should have let me know you were going out."
"I don't answer to you Fitz, I am a grown woman," she said testily.
"I am worried about your safety. You shouldn't be out here alone. If you didn't want me to know, you could have at least told Joe or Brian," he answered angrily.
She stood up, dusts the dirt from her pants and turns to face him, "I think my safety is more than covered considering that there are at least two dozen camouflaged Marines patrolling the property, there is a 15 mile no fly zone radius over this place and Joe has never been more than 10 yards behind me since I left the house."
"Livvie, I didn't come here to argue," he says exasperatedly. "I was worried that you haven't eaten since breakfast and it is after 3pm now. You are eating for two now, remember?"
"I remember," she said with a sad smile. "I brought an apple with me. Like I said, I just needed some air and space to think."
Neither spoke for a moment. They both knew that this was the moment that would change their lives forever. She drops her gaze from his. His heart sinks. She isn't going to try again. She is going to leave him.
"Fine. Enjoy your air," he replies coldly and turns and walks away.
She is floored by his response. "Stop walking," she calls out to him but he doesn't stop. "STOP WALKING!"
He stops, turns and looks at her. The pain is etched on his face. A million questions are in his eyes: Do you still love me? Will you fight for me? Will you fight for us? Are you going to leave me? What will I do without you?
Olivia throws her hands up and says, "I can't go on this way. You push I run, I push you run. Why are we doing this? Why can't you just let me go? Everyone would be happier if you just let me go!"
"Why does everyone else get to be happy but us? When do we get what we want?!" he asks.
"Men in your position are rarely happy. It is something that you have to accept."
"What if I don't want to accept it? What if I don't want this position anymore? What if I just want to be happy with you and our baby?"
She walks towards him stopping about three feet away, "Unfortunately, you don't get to make that decision. You are the President, you can't just stop being the President because you are unhappy."
He closes the gap between them but doesn't touch her, "Says who? Just because it hasn't been done doesn't mean it can't be done. I love you, I want to be with you. I want to be there for our child."
"You took an oath. You can't just walk away."
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "Do you love me Olivia? Do you want me?"
She doesn't answer him instead she turns and looks back out across the water.
"Livvie, please answer me. Do you love me? Do you want me?" He is fairly pleading with her.
"I do love you and want you," she quietly answers. "But … "
"NO! No buts. You admit that you love me and that you want me. Now are you willing to fight for me? Are you willing to fight for us? Because I am willing to fight for our happiness."
He's forcing her hand. He is making her choose her "rock" right here, right now. Stay and fight or run away?
"I don't know how to be happy," she confesses tears brimming in her eyes. "Happiness always seems to elude me."
He puts his hands around her waist and pulls her flush against his body. He can feel her relax a little in his arms.
"I used to feel the same way, until I met you." He turns her around so that she is facing him. "We can find happiness together. It won't be easy, but I am ready to finally be happy. Are you? Are you ready to be happy Liv?"
She looks up into his crystal blue eyes and all she can see is his love for her. The tightness she has felt in her heart finally begins to release. She can do this. They can do this. She WANTS to do this.
She pulls his head down and begins to kiss him with quick pecks. He closes his eyes and pulls her closer trying to deepen their kiss. She continues to peck at his lips, murmuring between each kiss.
"I want to be happy," she says softly. Her declaration gets louder with each peck until Fitz finally hears what she is saying.
"Then let's be happy Livvie," he says before he kisses her deeply. It is a kiss filled with all the love they have for one another. It bonds them together in this campaign to be happy.
They tenderly kiss and hold each other for several minutes. Tears flow from both of their eyes. When they break apart, she places her head on his chest and listens to his heartbeat. It beats in sync with hers.
After a few moments Fitz says, "Let's head back to the lodge. We could both use some lunch and we have a lot to discuss."
She only nods and steps away from his embrace. He holds out his hand for her to grasp. Before she does, she bends down and picks up a rock. She turns back to the pond and throws the rock as far and hard as she can.
Plunk!
She watches the ripples for a moment then turns and takes Fitz's hand and they begin the walk back to the lodge.
A/N: Well the Olitz fight is over! Yay! Now the healing can begin. Expect Mellie and Cyrus to reappear in the next chapter or two.
Please keep sending me your comments. It makes me happy to know that you are enjoying my story.
I don't own Scandal, but if I did it would be all Olitz all the time!
