The large group made their way into the Hokage's office where Tsunade dismissed the heart ANBU members. As they were leaving the one she had sent to get the executioner arrived.
"Hokage-sama, he will arrive momentarily," Ace told Tsunade.
"Good, you are dismissed for now."
As the Ace of Hearts left the room he froze briefly before slightly bowing his head and continuing on his way. Naruto thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head when he saw who came through the door. Gaara came sauntering in, but instead of the gourd of sand he carried a gigantic hammer. The hammer head was pressed against his back where the gourd normally would be and the handle rested on his shoulder. Gaara had his arm thrown over the handle to balance and hold it in place.
"This better be worth it Tsunade. I was just about to fall asleep," Gaara said.
"Don't worry, this girl expects to save herself and those three clubs by beating me in gambling," Tsunade replied.
If Gaara had eyebrows at least one of them would be raised. "How many games?"
"That's the beauty of it! Only one."
"This will be over to fast," Gaara sighed.
During this exchange Tsunade and Jiraiya brought out a large flat board from a closet and positioned it in the center of the room. Naruto sat down on the right side and the three ANBU members sat down just behind him. Tsunade retrieved a cup and two dice from her desk before sitting across from Naruto. Shizune, Jiraiya, and Sakura sat down behind her. Gaara remained standing by the door.
Tsunade handed the cup and dice to Naruto. "Here, make sure you are satisfied these aren't trick dice."
Naruto was not sure of what to look for since his experience with dice was very limited. As far as he could tell they weighed the same. He scratched at the dots to make sure they were firmly embedded. Lastly he tossed them a few times to make sure they didn't land on the same number each time. Naruto ran his fingers over the cup but it seemed solid and smooth. He handed everything back to Tsunade.
"The rules are simple," Tsunade said. "I shake the dice in the cup and then place the cup upside down on the floor. You guess if the addition of the numbers facing up on the dice is cho (even) or han (odd). As soon as you guess wrong Gaara will turn you all into pancakes. Understand?"
"You're forgetting about what happens when I win," Naruto replied.
"Fine, not that you will win. Then I would agree that your group is indeed innocent of all responsibility of this incident and would send you back to whatever you were doing."
"Understand. Begin," Naruto said.
Tsunade tossed the dice into the cup and placed her hand over the top. She shook the cup for about five seconds before quickly inverting it onto the board. "Choose."
"Cho," Naruto said confidently.
Tsunade whipped the cup off of the dice and the room went silent. Everyone could clearly see that the dice read five and three, even Gaara. They were all holding their breath waiting for Tsunade to respond.
Tsunade's left eye twitched as she stared down angrily at the dice. At least one minute went by before she looked up at Naruto. "You cheated. I never loose. You must have switched the dice."
"But Tsunade," Shizune cut in, "you had the dice last. You would have noticed."
Naruto grinned triumphantly and the three club ANBU let out their breath in an auditable sigh of relief. Jiraiya began to chuckle while Sakura and Gaara both seemed bored.
Tsunade looked like she was about to protest again when the Jack of Hearts ANBU member quickly entered the room and went over to her. He whispered something in her ear causing her eyes to narrow dangerously. "Are you positive?" she asked.
"Yes Hokage-sama, all the equipment was in his city house still," the ANBU member replied.
If Tsunade had seemed angry before she was now downright furious. She stood up and everyone did the same. Tsunade turned to Jiraiya, "you dared to make those posters of me?!"
Jiraiya grinned at her. "I couldn't resist showing everyone that you really are over fifty just like me."
Tsunade cracked her knuckles. "Killing you with my own hands is going to be so pleasurable."
Jiraiya started running for the back of the room and Tsunade took off after him. She chased him around the desk, through the groups of people, back around the desk, and so on. The pounding of their feet was loud whenever they crossed the board in contrast to the quiet of the carpet covering the rest of the floor. The chase went on for a good five minutes. Gaara stayed in front of the door so Jiraiya couldn't use that as an escape.
Suddenly Jiraiya stopped and turned to face Tsunade. Luckily her reflexes were fast and she was able to stop before crashing into him. Tsunade drew her fist back and let it fly with as much force as possible. Just before it hit Jiraiya he grabbed the nearest person to him to use as a shield. That person turned out to be Naruto who slipped into unconsciousness before he could even realize what happened.
Naruto woke but didn't bother opening his eyes, afraid of seeing where he was now. He could tell that he was laying on something soft and cushiony. Naruto felt pressure on his head and slowly brought his hand up to feel it. The rough texture of bandages met his fingers.
"Hey he's awake! Everyone come in here, he's woken up!" Sakura yelled.
What sounded like a stamped rushed towards Naruto and surrounded him. He could feel the eyes staring at him. Tentatively he opened his eyes. All of his friends were standing around him and to his joy they all looked normal; no ridiculous hair or animal features. Best of all he realized that he was no longer in female form. They had brought him to the hospital and they all seemed to be waiting for him to say he was alright. As Naruto looked over his friends he thought about his strange experience and found meaning in them.
Top right was Iruka and Gai with Lee, Tenten, and Neji behind them. 'Training your brain versus training your muscles: both are equally important. You can know everything you need to, techniques, strategies, but if you don't have the strength and stamina to back it up you'll never win a fight. Likewise, even the strongest person in the world will lose to someone that outwits them in planning moves. I need to focus on both to succeed.'
Next Naruto saw Shino, Kiba, and Hinata. Akamaru must not have been allowed in. 'Solo missions are rare, so learning to work with your teammates in just as important as training your mind and body. You must be able to trust them and obey commands. You should learn to trust yourself also. If you believe you are not good enough you will only be a hindrance to your team. I will not be facing these battles alone. I will support and be supported by all of Konoha. Together we will overcome these enemies.'
This made Naruto think of his encounter with the Third. 'We all get shaken once in a while and may even need help to remember our goals. That's why we need friends, not just teammates.' Naruto thought as he looked at Ino, Sakura, Choji, and Shikamaru at the foot of his bed. 'Every once in a while we need to relax and just have fun; otherwise the stress of our duties would kill us. Spending time at the party instead of training did not waste my day.'
Next Naruto saw Kakashi and Konohamaru. 'If you have time a thorough study of your opponent will help you succeed. However, that information might not always be reliable and a general knowledge won't necessarily be helpful in specific cases. Being able to quickly analyze your opponent may be the best skill to have.'
Tsunade and Shizune followed. 'Analyze the situation before jumping to conclusions. Rash judgments can lead to innocent people being hurt. Weaknesses are easily exploited to turn a situation in the other's favor. Learning to stay calm is one of the most important things I need to do. I often rush headlong into a fight which stops me from being able to plan my moves.'
Naruto looked at Jiraiya on his left side. Without thinking about it he suddenly slapped Jiraiya hard. Some of the people gasped, but everyone seemed shocked. "He deserved it, I swear," Naruto said.
That seemed to break the trance everyone was in. "Naruto, I'm so sorry," Sakura cried. "I didn't mean to hit you so hard."
"You've been unconscious for over an hour," Tsunade told him. "I need to do a check up on you now. Do you know who you are?"
Naruto flashed a brilliant smile. "Naruto Uzumaki, the future greatest Hokage ever! I had the craziest dream, and all of you were there. It started out with me waking up alone in the woods and I was a girl. I followed Jiraiya who had his hair all around his body and fell down a hole."
Naruto shared his dream with his friends. The end of his party may have been in the hospital but he felt much better about everything than he had in the beginning.
The End, hope you enjoyed reading it. This chapter is really why I said no pairings intended in the summary. Shizune's part is that of the king, but I'm not trying to say she and Tsunade are in a relationship.
I started this story way back in the summer at the request of my boyfriend who has a slight obsession with Alice in Wonderland. I was about halfway through when I realized I could tie everything together by making Naruto learn a lesson. Did you catch the foreshadowing in chapter 1?
This was the longest story I have ever completed. I'm easily distracted and really had to force myself to sit down and work on this towards the end instead of one of my other ideas. I have something in mind for an AU Peter Pan, but I don't really expect to do it.
If you didn't catch who's playing who, here is the character list. Thanks for reading.
Naruto- Alice, Jiraiya- White Rabbit, Iruka- Field Mouse, Gai- Dodo, Neji, Tenten, Lee- Various Animals
Shino- Pat, Kiba- Bill the Lizard, Akamaru- Dog, Third Hokage- Caterpillar, Sasuke- Fish Footman
Shikamaru- Frog Footman, Sakura- Dutchess, Ino- Cook, Choji- Baby/Pig, Kyuubi- Cheshire Cat
Kakashi- Mad Hatter, Konohamaru- March Hare, Hinata- Doormouse, ANBU- Cards
Tsunade- Queen of Hearts, Shizune- King, Garaa- Executioner
