AN: So I just realized that I haven't included a disclaimer yet. I don't own anything to do with Degrassi, Canada, JuJu Bees ect... Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed me, I really appreciate all the feedback. For everyone who read and didn't review, its ok I do the same thing ).
Alex's POV
How the hell did I get to this point? I was standing there hiding from some Paige, pretending to sort out candy. What I was really doing was standing against the wall banging my head off of it.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid" I said with every bash to the wall. I stopped after the eleven or twelth time because I couldn't really afford to lose any more brain cells if my grades were any indication. According to Paige I have "untapped potential" or something, whatever that means. By that time I had stopped trying to make my mind not wander to her. My mind wandered wherever the hell it wanted regardless of where I actually wanted it to. But at that particular moment I really didn't appreciate having to think about her. Not that I was mad at her or anything. Nah, I couldn't really stay mad at her for that long, and I think she knows it. No I wasn't mad I was... well I was scared as hell. Up until now, Paige and I had a fairly simple realationship. Scratch that. It was never simple, but I always knew where we stood with eachother. First enemies. Or maybe not. I don't really know anymore. I guess I didn't hate her since I didn't even know her that much. She was just funny to provoke. But for the sake of argument, we were "Enemies". We would yell across rooms and halls and even the occasional street at eachother, both of us trying to win control. And do you know what really pissed me off? At least 70 perecent of the time, she won. She would stun me into silence. She can still do that now, just in a different kind of way.
After enemies we were co workers. That was probably the shortest of our phases. I couldn't help but start to like her, even the day she came into work. Not long after that we went through our "friends, but we don't really talk to eachother unless we're alone or with Marco so the rest of our friends don't find out" phase. I was probably just as guily of doing that as she was. I wasn't with Jay at that point but I still had a reputation to live up to. She'd not even look my way when Hazel was near, but as soon a she looked away, Paige would throw me a smile, maybe even a wink. Finally we reached out " actually friend friends" phase. The summer before our senior year, we spent a lot of time at work together. All those summer blockbusters are to blame for my current problem. When Paige asked me if I wanted to just stay over her house one night after work I almost chocked on a sweedish fish.
After that we'd hang out outside of work, and when school started it was the same. I didn't really get what I was starting to feel though. I'd rather just push it to the back of my mind than deal with it. The first time I finally admitted it to myself I was high. Yup. And so was she. Mr. I-haven't-shaven-all-the-way-in-a-month-and-I-think-it-looks-good dumped her and then gave her drugs. Who does Paige try to unload them on? Yours truly. I'd been good latley. I hadn't touched a drug since before I broke up with Jay. But seeing a high Paige was way too tempting of an offer for me to pass up. Only Paige would ask about a million and one questions before she actually lit the thing. We had goofed around at the college fair doing God knows what but it finally ended we were just sitting in the hallways. Funny, she had done the same thing to Mr.Simpson I did to her two years ago. She was sitting with her legs stretched out and she tripped him. Kinda weird isn't it? That her tripping someone was the reason why I noticed that I liked her more than I should have. After that, we kept doing things like normal, but I was trying extra hard to act like nothing had changed. I personally think that it was a convincing act. I'm way too good of a liar than is good for me. Still, it was a hell of a lot harder with her than it was with anyone else I had ever lied to. I could lie to my mom no sweat, but Paige? That took some mental preperation. Which is why the night of the premiere I snapped. I took advantage of a time when we were both really, simply, just plain old happy and relaxed. So I kissed her. I'd been working my way up to it all night. I might've been working my way up to it since the day Mr. O dumped her. Whatever it was, I couldn't forget about it anymore. When I felt her kiss me back I thought that my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I know that's a really cliche thing to say, but thats actually what it felt like.
So I went home that night, walked past my mom lying on the couch and layed in bed. I was trying to think of reasons why I didn't like Paige, but for some reason it was backfiring. All I could think of were reasons why I liked her. Stupid reasons really. How she plays with her hair when she's taking a test. Or how she wears sunglasses in her car regardless of the weather. How she has no problem putting anyone in their place without having to lay a hand on them. That's definetley something that she could teach me. But I would never touch her. Sure I might have threatened to once or twice in out enemy phase but even then I probably would have just huffed away. No she uses other weapons. Personally I'd rather get punched in the face by her than have to take her cold insults. She had a way of making me want to just dissapear and never ever come back. That's why what she said to Hazel hit me as hard as it did. I'm used to being ditched or betrayed by people. My dad left, Jay cheated, my own mom likes her boyfriend better than me. So you'd think it wouldn't really bother me so much anymore. At least, thats what I thought. But once again, Paige changed everything for me. I actually cried. She saw my crying because of something she said. I was livid. Absoutley furious, and the majority of that anger was directed at me, not her. There was still some anger left over for her to get some, make no mistake in that, but I was pissed at myself for caring enough about what she thought of me to cry. When I opened my door that night and saw her standing there, I was stunned to silence for about a second. Then my anger jumped back. I didn't have the emotional room to be awkward and nervous around her, because all of the space was being taken up by me being pissed off. But then, she did it. She made that damn face. I swear to God she knows what effect is had on me because the second she gave me that pout I softened up like ice cream left out on the beach. And then, just to seal the deal, she said it. She said the opposite of what she said to Hazel. She said I was everything to her. And then the idiot called me back into the hell hole so I had to leave her out there. At the time I was sure that meant that she was actually going to give the whole relationship thing a go. But the more I thought about it, the more I was questioning myself. Maybe she meant she still wanted to be my friend. I mean, there was no eternal love declaration. No prancing down the streets holding hands. No frolicking through the fields arm in arm. There were two people touching eachother's hand in a dark apartment hallway and a drunk guy.
But, I don't think I could be her friend. I can't. Which explained why I was hiding away while she was on her cell phone. Love really does stink. Jay stunk too but I don't think I loved him. At least she's not torturing me by staying near me. I have some space to just think.
"ALEX?"
Shit.
