Author's note: I would like to congratulate Mileminnie for winning my little contest for chapter 5! Big applause for I'mgonnahavetoprocessthis for playing too! Contest for chapter 4 is still happening so put on your thinking caps!
A special thanks to: hotandcoldwulf, The Gryffin, Martho, the ever loyal FaBbEr0oZ, Avanwolf, acaperfectbeautyqueen, badwolfkaily, and of course Mileminnie and I'mgonnahavetoprocessthis !
One chapter and the epilogue left after this one and I promise I finish with a bang! :)
The living room and the kitchen were full of people, most of them throwing glances of sympathy towards Myka who was sitting on the couch, her hands clenched tightly around a handkerchief. The last three days had been a blur. The women had been huddled up together, while the men went hunting for the savage beast that was terrorizing the town and killing off people. Amanda had taken charge of things at the Martino's house while the new pastor's wife, Vanessa, stayed with Myka. Sam had been buried that morning, and Myka had been numb for most of the funeral.
Myka wanted nothing more than for all of the people to leave. She wanted to be left alone to deal with her thoughts, to understand what had happened. She wanted to tell the men that she knew where, and what, the beast was. She was tired of people smiling sadly at her, telling her everything would be fine.
The men came back empty handed. Amanda made sure they were fed and then sent them home. The last people left were the Lattimers, and Pastor Nielsen and his wife. Pete was exhausted by all of the futile hunting he had done in the last three days and kept drinking coffee to stay awake.
His tone gentle, the pastor inquired, "What are you going to do now Myka? Are you going to go back to Colorado?"
Shaking her head slightly, Myka flatly replied, "I can't. I still have a debt to pay."
"But how will you do that? You don't have Sam to do that anymore," Pastor Nielsen reminded softly.
"I don't know! I'll figure it out!" Myka yelled then stormed upstairs.
Pete wanted to follow her, but Amanda stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Leave her. She needs to be alone now."
Frowning at his wife, Pete asked. "Pastor Nielsen has a point, Amanda. Who will take care of her now?"
"We will," Vanessa said firmly. "She will come live with us and we'll take care of her until she's back on her feet"
"Myka can take of herself!" Amanda protested, adding, "And maybe we should actually consult Myka before making decisions for her?"
"No. Vanessa is right." Nodding sagely, secure in his position in the community, Pastor Nielsen declared, "We will take care of her. It's settled."
In her room, Myka was staring at the ceiling. Her emotions were all scrambled and she didn't know what to think anymore. When she had learned about Sam's death, Myka had felt sad, angry and filled with grief. But she had also felt relieved and guilty for doing so.
Staring at the ceiling as the house slowly quieted around her, Myka felt a tear trickle from her eye and down into her hair. A tear, not for the man she'd buried that morning, but for the woman that had become her best friend.
Swiping angrily at the moisture, Myka rolled onto her side and wondered how the woman that had kissed her so softly could have betrayed her so harshly. How could Helena have betrayed her by killing her husband, destroying the life she'd had, making the brush of their lips now seem so cheap?
It was all her fault. Had she not wished not to be married, Helena wouldn't have killed him so they could be together. But they could never be together. Not after what Helena had done. And she needed to know that.
Myka rose from the bed and went downstairs. She put on her coat, scarf, boots, hat and gloves.
Amanda's voice stopped her in her tracks as the other woman demanded, "Myka? Where are you going?"
Silently cursing under her breath, Myka turned around to face her friend. "I need to get some fresh air. I'm going for a walk."
"What? With that beast outside?" Horror filled Amanda's face as she cried, "Are you crazy? You're staying here!"
Myka took her bag with her gun inside. "I said I'm going for a walk. I'll be fine Amanda."
Hurt and anger warred on Amanda's face as she growled, "Fine! But don't expect me to be here when you get back!"
Myka slammed the door behind her and started walking through the cold night. Snow was creaking under her boots and the crisp air felt good in Myka's lungs. She walked for a while and reached Mrs. Donovan's boarding house.
She knocked and waited by the door for a few minutes before Claudia came to answer.
The young woman's eyes widened in surprise, and stepping aside, she exclaimed, "Mrs. Martino! Come in! What are you doing here this late?"
Myka's tone was emotionless as she replied, "I have to see her. Please. May I see her? Is she here?"
"She's upstairs in her room… I think." Sighing, Claudia added, "I haven't seen her in three days, I'm getting worried she will go too hungry."
Myka froze in the middle of taking off her coat, her eyes rising to meet Claudia's as she demanded, "You... you know?"
"Yeah, but she doesn't know that I know. And I'd like to keep it that way." Shrugging, Claudia defended, "She takes care of me so I take care of her… Please, follow me."
Myka quickly took off her coat and hat and left her things on a chair in the hall. Claudia led Myka to Helena's room and left her by the door. Myka didn't bother to knock and went inside. Helena was standing in the corner of the room, her back to the door. Upon hearing the door close, she slowly turned around to face the woman who had put her existence into turmoil.
Myka ran up to her and kissed her senseless. Helena held her tightly, kissing her back fiercely. Then Myka pushed Helena and slapped her as hard as she could. Helena growled at her, her canines long and sharp just like they had been when Helena had been feeding.
"Why? Why did you kill him? Why?" With each question, Myka poked at Helena's torso with her index finger. "Why did you have to destroy everything? Why?"
Myka broke down into sobs, tears rolling down her cheeks. Helena changed back to her normal self and took her in her arms. The vampire gently guided the writer to her bed and made her sit down. Helena rocked Myka and caressed her hair soothingly like she had done so many years ago when her daughter was upset.
Myka cried for a long time. She hadn't cried much in the last three days and now the dam had been ruptured and everything had to spill. When she finally calmed down, she was exhausted. She was tempted to crawl on the bed and sleep but she owed it to Sam not to lay with his killer, no matter how much she cared for her.
She disentangled herself from Helena's arms and rose shakily to her feet as she dried her last tears. "I should go home. This was a bad idea... Adieu Helena."
"Myka wait." Holding a beseeching hand out to Myka, Helena begged, "Please… Let me explain!"
"Explain? There's nothing to explain, Helena." Emotion filled the words Myka flung at the other woman. "You killed my husband because you were under the delusion that we could be together this way. Well guess what, we will never be together! Ever!"
"Myka, wait!" Wrapping her long fingers around the other woman's arm, Helena's eyes shimmered with tears as she whispered, "It wasn't me. You have to believe me that it wasn't me! As much as I want you; as much as my body craves to be next to yours, I would never betray what you mean to me by murdering your husband!"
Stiffening as she looked pointedly down at the hand on her arm, Myka waited until Helena had released her to meet the other woman's eyes, quietly demanding, "How can you expect me to believe that? Those men; my husband, were mutilated, Helena! You've told me what you are; what you're capable of, and you expect me to believe that you aren't responsible? I may be a woman, but I'm no simpleton! One minute I tell you that I'd be with you if I wasn't married, the next you tell me you have to leave to feed. The next morning my husband, the man in your way, is found dead, dismembered and all the blood in his body was drained!"
"I swear on my daughter's grave that I did not commit these atrocities on your husband. When I left you three nights ago I came here and fed on a travelling man who left the next day. Alive!" Dropping her hand to her side, Helena threw her shoulders back, adding, "I would sooner walk into the noonday sun, than to hurt you in this manner, Myka. I cannot explain why my heart has chosen to attach itself to you, but not even in pure selfishness would I murder an innocent man on the off-chance that you might overcome your societal expectations and return my sentiments."
Myka lowered her head, softly confessing, "I do return your sentiments,"
"Then how can you accuse me of this?" Crossing her arms over her chest, Helena stalked back to the window, peering out at the snow-covered ground as she harshly stated, "I may have done terrible things in my past, but I would never hurt you that way... If you can't believe that my words are true, it is best we end our association now, Mrs. Martino."
Myka felt lost. She didn't know what she wanted anymore. She was torn between Sam and Helena and she didn't know what to do. Raising a hand to her head to rub at her throbbing temple, she stammered, "I... I need time to think. I… I'm so… so exhausted... I can't think straight!"
"Then go... Rest. Get your head and your affairs straight." Meeting Myka's confused gaze,, Helena quietly added, "When you realize that I didn't kill your husband, you know where to find me."
Myka nodded then left the room. Downstairs, she put on her coat and put her hat, scarf and gloves in her bag. Claudia arrived as she was about to step outside. "You're leaving already? What happened?"
"I shouldn't have come, this was a bad idea." Motioning towards the door, she added, "I'm going home."
Reaching for her own coat, Claudia replied, "Wait I'm going with you."
Shaking her head, Myka said, "I need to be alone Claudia."
Myka left rapidly. The temperature had dropped by several degrees since Myka had arrived but she didn't stop to button her coat or put on her scarf or her hat and gloves. She didn't want to give Claudia time to catch up with her.
She heard footsteps behind her but before she could turn around to chastise Claudia for her unwelcome company, she felt someone grab her from behind and a deep pain on the left side of her neck.
