Chapter 5

Katt sat in her room, muching on a tuna sandwich and watching a boring reality TV show on the brand new TV she'd just bought. She flipped the channel with one hand.

There was a knock at the door.

She turned off the TV that she'd hardly been paying attention to in the first place and turned the handle, sandwich in hand.

"We're going out to shoot down some asteroids so the Great Fox can get through here. Wanna come?" Falco asked.

"Dunno. I might get hurt, and pussy up the place." Her voice dripped in sarcasm.

Falco rolled his eyes. "Well, if you prove yourself here, maybe I'll let you come on our next mission."

Katt sighed. "Fine."

She finished her sandwich and changed into her flight gear, and then met Fox and Falco at the hangar. "These must be some pretty tough asteroids. You all don't want my help for a dogfight, but when it comes to some floating rocks, suddenly I'm needed."

"I thought you wanted to sit it out." Fox said, confused.

Falco coughed nervously.

Katt turned to him, furious. Her hands balled into fists. "You made me sit out for no reason?!"

"Let's just get out there before we start taking damage."

Hot air was angrily sighed from the feline's nostrils. Falco jumped into his arwing in one bound and closed the cockpit before he'd even righted himself from the awkward landing.

"I didn't know he'd made you sit out. He told me you didn't want to come."

"I'm going to kill him. I am actually going to murder him."

"That will probably get you kicked off my team."

"Probably." Katt climbed into her customized pink ship. Her jaw was clenched, and her hands gripped the controls with whitened knuckles. "I'm going to kill him."

She shot out of the hangar before the boys had even started their engine, and began firing away at the asteroids.

"Katt, other way." Fox said over the com.

She looped around towards the front of the ship. "I'm just practicing what I'm going to do to Falco in a few minutes."

The avian gulped and flew towards the opposite end of the ship.

Katt fired a Smart Bomb into a large rock, sending small bits flying in all directions.

"Katt, please don't kill my ace pilot." Fox pleaded through a private line.

"You don't understand how much I wanted to be in that battle."

"Look, we had it anyways. Having you along would have made it ruthless overkill. We just wanted to have a little fun, not wipe them out of existence."

"I wanted to have fun, too!"

"I'll make sure you're with us on the next mission. You won't miss out next time. That's a promise."

Katt took a deep breath.

"Sheesh," the vulpine muttered, "you two are perfect for each other."

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Fox switched back to the main channel as he blasted away asteroids.

"At least I'm not a sneaky little ASSHOLE!" Katt yelled, firing a charged blast inches from Falco's ship. Fox had to barrel roll to avoid being hit, having decided to fly right in between them in attempt to prevent a fight.

"Hey, watch it!" The leader said.

Falco charged up his own blast. "Well, maybe, if you weren't such a crabby BITCH all the time!" He fired across the top of Fox's wing, striking a rock next to Katt's cockpit window.

"DON'T YOU DARE COMPARE ME TO THOSE CANINE SCUM!" The pink furred female shot back.

"WELL, DON'T ACT LIKE THEM!"

"I AM NOT ACTING LIKE THEM!"

"You guys!" Fox screamed, trying desperately to get out from between the two ships. "You can't have a Star Fox team without me! I'm the leader! Christ, let me live!" His cries were ignored by the furious battling duo.

"I'M GONNA ROAST YOU INTO A CHICKEN!"

"I'LL SINGE OFF YOUR TAIL FUR!"

"I'LL PLUCK YOUR FEATHERS ONE BY ONE AND TURN YOU INTO A DOWN COMFORTER!"

"I'LL MAKE YOU A STUFFED ANIMAL AND SELL YOU TO A COLLECTOR!"

"GOOD LUCK DOING THAT WITHOUT YOUR ARMS! I'LL TURN YOU INTO BARBECUED WINGS!"

"NOT IF I DE-CLAW YOU FIRST!"

"YOU'RE NOT GONNA TOUCH MY CLAWS IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYES, TWEETY BIRD!"

"LOOK HERE, PUSS IN BOOTS, YOU'RE ABOUT TO END UP AS A THROW RUG ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR!"

"Guys!" Fox dove left and then right and barrel rolled again to avoid their shots to each other.

"OH YEAH? AND THEN I'M GONNA HAUNT YOUR FEATHERED ASS AS A PINK GHOST!"

"I'LL BRING FAN GIRLS IN AND SCREW THEM RIGHT ON YOUR DESECRATED REMAINS!"

Fox cringed. "This just got really weird. Can you stop?!"

"I'LL POSSESS YOU AND MAKE YOU PREMATURELY COME EVERY TIME!"

"CEASE FIRE!" Fox bellowed. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR BEDROOM FANTASIES. WE'RE HERE TO CLEAR THE SHIP OF ASTEROIDS." The two finally stopped shooting and the com was silent for a few seconds. Fox took a deep breath. "I don't want any goddamn drama on my team. Either the two of you work it out like civilized adults, or I swear to every strand of fur on my body I will fire both of you." His hands shook slightly on the controls.

Falco gripped his arwing's joystick hard enough to make a cracking noise. "You heard the captain. Apologize for shooting me."

Katt clenched her jaw. "Wanna settle this inside like men, or are you gonna be a little pussy about it and throw insults over a com?"

"Fine, then. Inside. Face to face."

Fox breathed a sigh of relief and continued clearing the Great Fox's path on his own. He hailed the ship.

"Slippy here, whaddaya need, Fox?"

"You and Peppy get out here. Falco and Katt have decided to bicker like children instead of helping me. I sent them inside."

"Be right there!"

Katt stormed out of her ship, passing Slippy on her way to the bridge. Her hands were balled into fists.

Falco jumped down a minute later, just as Slippy and Peppy took off. He entered the bridge, immediately ducking a blurry pink fist. "Hey!"

"FIGHT ME, YOU PURPLE FEATHERED HATCHLING!"

"Jesus, Katt!" He blocked another two punches and rolled out of the way of a kick. "I'm not gonna hit you! I can't hit a girl!"

"THEN I'LL BEAT YOU INTO A PULP AND BAKE YOU IN A PIE!" She threw a roundhouse towards his face. He leaned sideways, caught her foot in midair, and twisted, bringing her to the floor.

She rolled around and flipped back to her feet, immediately ready with another flurry of blows. A left hook, a right uppercut, a side swipe with her right leg. Falco tripped and fell on the ground. Katt seized the opportunity and straddled him, throwing punches right for his face. She managed a weak right jab to his jaw before he overpowered her and flipped her onto her back.

"STOP. FUCKING. HITTING. ME." Falco yelled, angrily slamming her wrists into the metallic floor. She squirmed beneath him, but her eyes did not show fear or defeat. He leaned down and kissed her straight on the lips.

She blinked in surprise. His grip had loosened. She wrenched free one hand and smacked him upside the face hard enough to knock him off of her and to the floor. Her hands grabbed his face, claws digging lightly into his skin so he knew if he made a wrong move, she'd easily remove his face. His hands tightened around her wrists, but her claws prevented him from moving her hands.

"How DARE you kiss me, you..." She trailed off, furious, and then shoved her mouth directly on his. He kissed her back, roughly, and her claws released his face. His hands flew to her waist and pulled her on top of him. She rolled her lithe form against his body, dragging her claws lightly down his chest.

The suddenness with which she stopped and stood up left him paralyzed on the floor for a few seconds.

"No." She turned away and strode briskly across the bridge.

"No?" He leaped up after her, grabbing her arm at the door.

She turned to him faster than he could react with a hard punch to the temple that dropped him unconscious. "No."