Carla's POV
He went down like a log.
I was by Mrs. Thorn's bed when I witnessed Dr. Cox crumble to the ground. I dropped what I was doing and hurried to his side, JD was already there.
"What happened?'
"He got out of bed, he knows, and he's pissed."
We raised him onto a gurney and wheeled it back to his room. I then reset everything again, IV, heart monitor. Meanwhile JD, examined him.
"He's stable." JD said.
"What do we do?" I asked.
"We wait."
We didn't have to wait long; Dr. Cox regained consciousness surprisingly quick.
He looked around and tried to get up.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Dr Cox, lay back down please" JD begged.
He ignored us and continued to try to get out of bed. JD put his hand on his shoulders trying to hold him down.
"Get your filthy hands off me" he raged as he a shoved JD's arms off him.
"Perry, please relax" but it was useless, he was too worked up, too furious. We tried to get him to calm down but it was no use. He yelled, screamed, kicked, cursed and repeatedly tried to get out of bed despite his weakened state. He ripped out his IV again, threw off his nose canula, and started destroying everything within his reach. I've never seen him like this, so crazed, with his face livid and his eyes so wild.
JD put his hands on him again in attempt to calm him down, and then several things happened at once. Dr Cox with his fist balled up in fury took a swing at JD, who dodged it and with one motion grabbed the wrist and locked it in a restraint.
Dr Cox's red face instantly paled, and with wide eyes he stared at a fearful JD; his face betraying his disbelief. The tension in the room became unbearable as the two adversaries stared at each other. I didn't dare to talk, I barely dared to breathe. And although only a few seconds passed the silence in the room felt eternal, with a quivering voice JD attempted to break it "Dr Cox" he started.
"Get out"
"Look-"
"Get out!" he roared
We both jumped and hurriedly left the room, closing the door behind us.
My shift was over in a few minutes and I had yet to see Dr. Cox since the fiasco that occurred earlier that day.
I took a deep breath and entered his room; the anger was still visible on his face.
"Hey."
He ignored me. He didn't seem like he was going to talk any time soon. I suppressed a sigh because I wasn't surprised; his speech is something he controls and right now he wasn't in control of his emotions, today's outburst proved that.
"I have to go home soon, Turk has to be here, do you want to talk before I leave?" I asked "Perry, come on, look at me." I tried to meet his eyes but he averted my gaze .
"I'll come visit as soon as I can, okay? Try to relax."
I was off for the next thirty-six hours. During that time I did all I could to block Perry out off my mind. I cleaned up the house, played with Izzy, and tried to rest up, but I didn't sleep well and by the time I came to work I was in a sour mood.
"Carla"
"What" I snapped
"He's refusing all medical treatment" JD said as he approached me by the admission's desk. I right away knew who JD was referring to when he said he.
We walked together to the ICU where JD filled me in on all that when on during the time I was gone. "He switched me off his service, yelled at anyone who came near his room; he's not eating, probably not sleeping because he hasn't taken painkillers in hours. Kelso sent Hedrik to talk to him –that did not go well, a nurse tried to change his IV bag earlier and he went ballistic; a few hours ago Elliot snuck in there and was able to put on a new IV bag."
"Did you try talking to him?"
JD shook his 'no'.
"Why not?" He didn't answer, "Why not?" I repeated.
"I'm scared."
I let out a sigh "Have his orders been filled out?"
"Yeah, but no one has been able to give him anything."
"I'll do it."
"Hey"
His eyes were closed and he was gritting his teeth from pain.
I put on gloves as I approached his bed, ready to give him the order that was written out for him. "You have to be the most stubborn man I ever met."
He noticed the needle I was holding, "You can't give that to me, I refused all medical treatment."
"I changed my mind; you're the dumbest man I ever met."
"Carla I'm serious."
I stepped closer to him and gave him a shot of morphine. A look of shock passed over his haggard features.
"You can get into trouble for that."
"That coming from Mister-I-never-broke-any-rules."
"What do think you're doing?" he yelled.
"Listen, you want to act like a moron, that's fine, but don't expect to be able to intimidate everyone here. You need to rest, you need to eat and you need to let the people here take care of you."
He persisted to argue, however it was useless; he tried in vain to ward off the imminent sleep but the meds were too strong. His speech began to slur as he shot me a few more fleeting glances. The last thing he said to me before he closed his eyes was "How could you?"
I stood by his bed for a while watching his chest rise fall, and letting the guilt wash over me, hoping with all my heart that I did the right thing.
I walked into his room a few hours later expecting to be bombarded with an array of spiteful comments and snide remarks. Instead, Dr. Cox was sitting up, staring straight ahead; his face a mask, displaying no emotion.
"How are you feeling?" I carefully asked.
He pretended not to hear me.
"Perry?" I said hoping to get his attention, but he continued to ignore me.
I replaced the IV bag and he didn't protest, he even let me check his blood pressure, and as I took out the thermometer I glanced at his face, his lips were firmly pursed. "Can you open your mouth so I don't have to stick this up your butt?" I joked, he rolled his eyes, but he opened his mouth.
"You're mad I know."
Silence.
"Okay, you're gonna have to talk eventually."
"I have nothing to say, you finished what you came here to do, so you can go." he calmly said.
"Perry, we were just trying to look out for you."
"And doing a mighty fine job I must add." he retorted.
"Don't be like this."
He closed his eyes and said "I'm tired."
"Perry."
"I'm going to sleep now; you can stand there if you'd like."
"We're okay right?" I asked hopefully.
"What do you think?" He said icily.
"We were trying to help you."
"By lying?"
"We were nervous-"
"That I'd act like this" he interrupted unable to keep the venom from his words
I opened my mouth to respond but he cut me off.
"Pride's a big thing for egomaniacs llike me, you know that Carla. I would have thought you of all people would know not to do this to me; you're supposed to be my friend," he said hoarsely, his voice finally giving way. "I thought I earned a least a shred of respect here after twenty year…what dignity did any of you show me?" I lowered my head in shame as he continued "Priscilla restraining me, you drugging me like I'm some lunatic, like I'm some mur-" the words were on the tip of his tongue I knew they were, I saw the anguish in his eyes which he closed and said "Forget it" before turning his head away.
"I'm sorry, I really am, Perry. I'm really sorry" I croaked.
"Forget it."
The atmosphere in the room was oppressing, what was I supposed to say? Everything he said was true, we messed up.
I took a deep breath and walked closer to his bed; I undid the restraint and pushed the cart where his food lay closer to him, maybe after getting all that off his chest he'd eat. I poured him a glass of water, opened up his food and took the plastic wrapping off his utensils. I still couldn't think of anything to say to him, fumbling around with his food at least gave me something to do. When I finally trusted myself to speak again, I asked "Can I get you anything else?"
He shook his head no.
I started walking out of the room but I stopped at the door and took one last look at him. The light cast miserable shadows over his tortured face, and I truly felt his pain. Not knowing what I was doing, I walked back to his bed and put my arms around him. At first his body was rigid, but then ever so slowly I felt it relax in my arms. I whispered in his ear over and over "I'm sorry…I'm sorry" as I held him in a tight embrace.
After a few minute I finally let go of him and searched his face and I swear I saw tears threatening to fall. I put my lips on his forehead and whispered, "Can you try to forgive me? I don't want to lose you."
He swallowed hard and nodded.
"And promise me you'll try to get better?"
He nodded again. I gave him one more fleeting hug and squeezed his hand "You're gonna be okay." I said before leaving his room.
