The snow was falling fast in the mist of the January sky, my heart pounding in my chest with each breath, my short legs bouncing off the salted ground. The wind crashing hard on my face as I race against the current, crossing the finish just before the whistle echoes through the crisp winter air.
My aching body comes to a stop with hands on knee's and heavy breaths "nice work ladies… hit the showers"
As we walk a blonde bonce's over to my side, a sheen layer of sweat on her freckle dusted pallor. Daisy had a tattooed cast holding her fingers in place. I'd expected fear, snubbing when I met her again but that's not what I got, the second she saw me she skipped over with a milkshake in hand, offering it tenderly. Zach hadn't spoken to me since he heard what happened but I don't really care too much. I just didn't get Daisy, she was sweet to everyone. I knew a boy like her once… Astor Morgan, he was so sweet, with big brown puppy dog eyes, but in the system sweet kids don't last…
I look around the shower stalls with a nervous quiver, opting to take the one on the far corner with the highest walls, I don't take long to rinse my body of swelter I earned, only to find my bench empty when I return "where the fuck are my clothes?"
I look over and see a small cluster of girls giggling with passing glances, a feral snarl escapes as I head for them only for a voice to interrupt my stampede "they do it to all the new girls when they first have gym, here, you can wear these and this sweater will look so cute on you"
I look to the blonde as she hands me a yellow sweater and a pair of springy blue slacks. Quirking a brow I wonder "you bring extra clothes to school?"
"Only on gym days" she smiles brightly, turning around to change. However I notice the anxious glimpse she sends to the no longer giggling girls, who look kind of pissed now and I realize why she brought extra clothes... but it's not my business
The shirt is tight and has a freaking daisy on the front, typical, but with my tattered jacket, scuffed up sneakers and wild curls, looks more like a fashion statement rather than the last resort it is.
So when the bell rings for the end of school I go to get my books, a bulky bang ricochets off the locker making me jump and I snarl to the smirking figure sucking on a lollipop "you're an ass"
"And you're ungrateful… I brought you a present" the boy then pulls a lollipop from his pocket
Snatching it I don't thank him, he just smirks as I rip off the wrapping and shoving it in my mouth only to choke in disgust "Ew, strawberry…"
He just rolls his sky blue eyes only to snatch it from my hand. With a loud pop he holds out the one that was he had just been suckling, seems like he only had it in a few minutes because it was still in its bulbous form but shiny with spit, I look at it as he leans forward "its cherry flavored"
"Ooh cherry!" I snatch as he smirk's that brilliant white smirk, as we walk out and onto the bus. Something catches my eye from the end of the hall. Did I notice the yelps of pain? Did I look back to the ramble? No, it wasn't my business
The second Jack and I step off the bus we see our housemates gathered around Evelyn's car "what's going on?"
"Mom's carburetor is fucked" he groans in annoyance
Jerry then buts in "no I told you it's the fuel line"
As an argument breaks out I snatch the cloth from Bobby's hand, taking a look under the hood "you're both wrong because the radiator's cracked"
Standing with skeptical stares Angel laughs "and what do you know about cars?"
"Obviously more than you idiot's" I shrug, throwing the rag back and hitting Bobby in the face
With a stroke of his chin Jerry looks from me to the engine "how much will it be to fix?"
I laugh at that "Fix? No, you need a new radiator, that plus installing would be around two to four hundred bucks easy"
Their eyes widen at the estimate whilst I suckle the remains of my cherry treat "fuck, Bobby where are we going to get four hundred bucks?"
At Jack's question I lick my lips "I know a guy…"
They turn to me with questioning stares, making me roll my blue orbs "he works on cars, owes me a favor. Could maybe cut us a deal"
Not an hour later and we're across town; Angel goes to knocks on the warehouse door as I glare to them "let me do the talking yeah?"
A small slot opens, a pair of suspicious eyes looking down on us "you want something?"
"Yeah, Billy Darley" I bite with a smile
Eyeing me and the three men with me, Jerry had a date with a Camilla or something "you've got the wrong place kid"
"Tell him it's Mattiline Crown" I call as the slot slams shut
"So much for that plan, let's get outta here man" Angel complains, you know he's kind of a whiner
Without warning the door opens and I'm faces with a built bald guy, with a Balbo goatee and tribal flames licking up his neck "I'll be damned if it aint Mad Mat"
A smile breaks free at the sight of my old acquaintance "Billy. How's tricks?"
"Never been better, who's your friend's?" he smiles leaning against the frame of the door
I fix him with a glare; he knows I don't do friends "I'm crashing with them for a while, their cool"
Nodding he moves for us to follow him in. the place is packed with people, car parts and sparks; your average chop shop. We follow him into a small office "so what's up? Guessing this aint no social call"
I walk round the bald man and crash into his worn leather chair, his little thrown "I need a 96 Plymouth radiator"
Lighting up a cigarette he sits on the corner next to my feet on the desk, taking it from his chapped lips and passing it to my doll like hand "installation?"
With a long drag I blow smoke into the dry air "I can handle that, just bleed, remove, replace. Give me prices"
"Normally I'd say two-fifty" he says, leaning back against the desk
This makes me smile with a raised brow as I return the bud "and for me?"
He laughs and takes a drags, flicking away the ash "for you, one-eighty"
"That's grate" Bobby nods at the man, going to shake his hand
Mine and Billy's gaze never turns as I stand "One-eighty? Are you forgetting that if it weren't for me you'd be sucking cock in a prison cell right now?"
"Come on Mad, don't be like that" he says with a duck of his head, eyebrows raised over in the corner
I get in his face, the fact he's sitting helps because I'm a tiny fuck "like what? Like your fucking alibi, the chick that covered your ass when your boys sold you out?"
With a deep sigh he nods, blue gems meeting my own "alright mad, one-forty"
"A Hundred"
"One-thirty"
I just smirk and tilt my head, batting my eyes in that puppy dog way I remember made my mom swoon, whilst playing with the letter opener on his desk. He shakes his head at that this with a chuckle on his lips "fine, a hundred! 96, right? It'll take me a day or two to get the part"
Snatching the fag I nod "obviously"
I turn then to see three gaping men, because thirteen year old girls shouldn't know about chop shops, shouldn't be able to manipulate criminals, but then I know more than any thirteen year old should "what?"
When we get back to the house I don't have time to kick off my shoe's as the old lady walks over, pulling the shrugged off jacket back around my shoulder's carefully "what are you doing?"
"Your severance check came today, so you and I are going shopping" I just look at her for a long moment, turning my gaze from the boys now lounged around the living room and to her. You might not know this but a severance check is the reason most people foster, it's like $500-$600 a month just for watching some brat, easy money. I don't think I've ever seen a dime of it
"Where are we going?" I can't help but ask, what did she want me to carry stuff or something?
She lets out a lighthearted laugh "why the mall of cause, your room is rather Spartan dear"
"Plus your clothes look like shit" Bobby says with a sip of his beer, earning him a smack on the head from his mother
"Ow, sorry ma" he responds on instinct, everyone laughing because big bad Bobby got put in his place
"Dinner's in the oven, we'll be back later. Behave boys" Evelyn smile's to them, walking out the door as I follow, not noticing the look Jack sends my way… almost worried
At the mall I stand with disgust at the mirror, I'm wearing a lilac dress that screams pretty "oh you look just precious"
I glare at the sales woman wearing way to much makeup and hairspray then to the mirror as Evelyn laughs "I don't think so… hmm Mattie why don't you try this?"
She hands me a few things to make an actual outfit and I emerge a few minutes later in crimson jeans, a cream rose patterned halter-top with red all stars. I look it over in the mirror it was better than the dress anyway "oh wait!"
I turn for the old woman to scamper off through the store, returning she wraps black leather, well pleather actually, jacket around my shoulders and smiles "there we go, perfect"
I look at her in the mirror and my heart almost stopped, she was so nice to me… but the worst one's always were at first. I wouldn't let myself get tricked again… I couldn't …
The afternoon carries on like that until we're sat at the food court with litters of bags. I don't know why I said it, didn't even think about it as the words spilled from my lips "why did you do this?"
She looks confused for a moment before shrugging "because you can't very well be walking about in old clothes forever, you're a growing girl after all and every girl needs pretty things. So what's your favorite outfit, I personally loved the white dress and black cardigan"
I look at her for a long moment… I just didn't understand; understand why she picked me…
The next day I'm sat in art in my new jacket and red outfit. They have me drawing fruit, not just drawing it, drawing the aura… which basically means the outline in rainbow colors. Because this is going to be real useful later in life, right? No, no it's not
I look at the clock hanging on the wall, my gaze shifting around the room. It was quiet, near me it was anyway, not filled with its usual cloud of chatter from my stalker. She followed me everywhere and I have her clothes from yesterday in my bag. I wonder where she is.
It's lunch now and I'm not worried. So the overly perky blonde wasn't in today, big deal… but through all her blabbering I remember her saying how she never missed a day, how perfect attendants would look good on a résumé. So where was the annoying bitch?
Making way to my locker I see a mask of blonde hair being marched into the office, I follow her, breaking into a jog as she walks out to the parking lot "Daisy!"
At my call I notice the older blonde woman turn, a protective arm around her child "I'm sorry Daisy isn't feeling very well"
At the woman's dismissive tone I laugh, I don't know why "awesome, look Barbie I need your notes for Bio so if you…"
"What the fuck?" my eyes widen tenfold at the slight before me. Her left eye was an angry ebony, a large gash over her bruised lip, she wasn't in her usual girly outfit, instead slumming in sweats and an oversized t-shirt, that where sure to be coving more bruises
"What happened?" I ask with a thin layer in my voice I don't recognize, concern?
Her mother, I don't remember her name, stokes her daughters hair "that's something I'd also like to know"
I can't tear my eyes from her; she hasn't looked at me once "Daisy…"
Slowly, fearfully her green orbs turn up to me, swimming in tears as realization hits me. Yesterday, I didn't look back
A storm of rage floods my veins as I back away "no, no fucking way!"
My body moves on autopilot as my legs throw me back into the building, only vaguely hearing the voice calling after me. Before I know it I'm tearing into the lunch hall, scanning over until I find my target. Loren Perks. Blonde, popular, ring leader, bully…
"Hey Perks!" I scream and she looks over her shoulder to say hello to my fist
As her body hits the floor I straddle that bitch, smashing her head into the tile "How'd you like it you fucking bulimic cock-slut!"
The sharp pain of one of her friends pulling my hair makes me kick her feet from under her, standing I punch a redhead in the stomach, just like Bobby showed me. Then another blonde in the jaw, this is the moment two strong arms wrap around my middle, lifting me off my feet and pulling me away from the whores, making me struggle harder "Mattie it's me, It's Jack, it's just me"
I see teachers running up, wanting answers as Perks stands, blood and tears ruining the makeup she's too young for anyway "Crazy bitch!"
I try to go for her again but Jack's to strong, how can a guy that looks so skinny have such muscle's "what is going on here? Mercer… my office"
I'm not sure if the principal is telling Jack to take me or for me to go there. I rip out of the older boys grip and stand, shaking with rage as Perks stands smug "she just attacked me; I knew that girl was a freak, just like her little Barbie!"
My head hurts…and it's bleeding because apparently I just head-butted Perks to the floor and am screaming "you don't call her that! You don't even look at her fucking trailer trash whore!"
As I'm dragged out of the hall by two teachers I pass Daisy and her mom with a wink and a smile. Only I got to call her Barbie.
The school is pissed and I'm getting the blame. Figures!
Evelyn came to pick me up after the principal gave me some bullshit lecture then had me sit outside whilst he talked to her and honestly I was kind of worried she'd take my new stuff away. However the drive back was quiet but for the radio, the moment I got in I just walked up to my room, not bothering to stick around for another sermon "Mattiline, wait"
Caught in the middle of the staircase I turn to look down at the woman with a roll of my sapphire gems "look those bitches had it…"
"I'm proud of you" my entire body stiffens at that sentence
"W-what?" I ask, swallowing the lump in my throat
Coming to stand at the end of the steps she looks up to me with a smile "I don't approve of your methods and definitely not of violence but I'm proud that you stood up to those girls and you stood up for your friend"
Friend? I don't have any friend's, friends mean attachments and I don't have that luxury. Daisy was just a girl I hung out with and kind of didn't hate. That's all.
It takes me a minute to realize I'm staring until she chirps "I was thinking gammon steaks and French fries for dinner, that alright with you?"
Alright with it, it just happens to be my favorite. Don't ask me how she knows that "Um, yeah, sure. I'm just going to change"
Once in the safety of my room I slouch against the bedframe, head falling back as my hand glides between the metal and the mattress. In the system you learn to hide what you value, a habit I can't shake as I pull out a picture and just stare at it. The image was creased and worn with time and tender touches. She's smiling out at me, hair perfect gold and eyes sparkling, even with that stupid party hat on, her cheek pressed close to mine, I'm wearing a plastic tiara and a birthday badge. My 8th birthday, also known as the last time I was actually, truly and effortlessly happy.
I don't remember what that feels like; I know I felt it, once. I just don't know how to get that feeling back…but I wish I did
Nimble fingers caress the jewel around my throat as I look into my mother's eyes and I can't help but wonder, can't fight the tears as I ask aloud "would you be proud of me?"
A few hours after dinner I sit in the living room watching Jerry tackle Angel to the ground over the remote. Evelyn half laughing half yelling whist knitting on her chair. I'm sat next to Bobby who looks at me "heard you fucked up some chicks today"
"Pretty much" I say sharing a look with Jack who's sat on the floor in the corner
He nods with that sly smirk "Knew you had it in you princess"
Jack breaks out laughing at that "Princess, seriously?"
"Shut it you fairy!" I bite, throwing a cushion to the boy as the bell rings
I bounce up on the balls of my feet "I'll get it"
"Hey I'm more a princess than you are!" Jack calls over, missing with the cushion I tagged him with
"You're more a princess than Cinderella Cracker Jack" at Bobby's joke we all laugh, the two on the floor finally dismounting as I open the door
I look to the visitor, a man with brown hair and green eyes that are burned into my memory and suddenly can't breathe "Hey Mattie-cakes"
My heart is in my stomach as the unwanted whisper breaks from my suddenly dry lips "Daddy?"
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS AND FOLLOWS AND FAVORITES! PLEASE TAKE A SECOND TO REVIEW IT MEAN THE WORLD TO ME THANKS SO MUCH X x
JJ X x
