Sunday; the day of rest, or otherwise known as the day you dress up in your best gear to go praying with the locals. So here we were, sat in some church that could collapse at any moment. I don't really look much like myself, hell I don't recognize me, dressed in a feather white lace skater dress and pearl shiny shoes, my curls combed out and pinned back… I look like a freaking girl!
As the sermon drags on I cast a glance to Evelyn, I've been avoiding her since the other night. I don't know what happened to me, that girl, sniveling and pathetic, that wasn't me. I'd expected a drilling of questions about it the next morning but nothing, I was worried the guys had heard or maybe she'd told them. However nothing had changed in the way they acted or looked at me, she'd sent Jerry and Jack out to run some errands while she went to the shelter, like every Saturday. I just played video games with Angel (guys such a sore loser by the way) and watching The Muppets with Bobby, who started calling me Miss Piggy... the split lip took care of that
After the service we walk out with the crowd, the guys in their monkey suits whilst Evelyn talks to some people I don't give a rat's ass about. Looking around I go and grab my jacket out the car, sliding the leather over my shivering shoulders and gasping for a Tabaco kick when I see it. There just across the street is Nick stood amongst the snow, rubbing his hands to fight the cold. I watch him watching me, a smile comes onto his face and he waves with a smile that lingered in my dreams.
"Hey Mattie" I turn just and see the blonde bombshell making her way over with a skip in her step
I smile to the girl, the bruises faded to almost nothing now "Barbie…"
I look back to where my dad was leering but he's gone now, just the thin veil of snow falling in his place. Turning back I push her shoulder and nod over to Evelyn and the boys "let's get out of here"
We walk over to a pair of matching yellow haired females "Mom you remember Mattie, Mattie this is my mom, Hannah and my sister, Lily"
The kid must have been about eight, maybe nine and was smiling shyly with a blush on her cheek as her mother offered me her hand "Mattie it's nice to meet you properly."
I just look at her hand with a raised brow and Daisy nudged the older woman, making her hand drop "Daisy's told us so much about you"
"Daisy does like to talk" I quip and they laugh, looking over my shoulder I see them staring
My eyes lock with Evelyn's as I turn back the blonde trio "so I was told something about food"
Their house is nicer than ours, but only because it's hidden under a few layers of white paint and a shiny red door. The inside is pretty neutral; I walk in finding trophies and plaques at every turn.
"My mom is Miss Michigan 84, 92 and 96" I look into the bottle green orbs with a wide eyes and raised brows
I move to a cabinet filled with school achievements, pictures of Daisy and Lily scattered around. A family home…
A few short minutes later and Daisy is dragging my ass up to her room, my mouth hitting the floor when I see it "who was your decorator, little miss sunshine?"
She laughed as I bounced onto the too soft bed; the room is glittered in her name color, yellow, everywhere!
Daisy's hanging on the wall between framed newspaper articles and attendance awards, on old doll house in the corner and a silk net canopy over the bear covered bed. She joins me on the bed and laughs "my mom had it done up for me after my dad left, Lily's to. I think she was over compensating or something like that. I didn't complain"
"Not such a bad thing" I shrug and look over to the table littered with neatly stacked papers and organized writing tools
"I guess, but hey I'm going to sneak us some snacks before dinner" she skips out the room and I can already smell the chicken aroma as I make my way to the neatly managed table.
I flip through the papers and read a few titles 'Bulling; Hide it or Fight it' and 'The Pain of Fear' I skim over a few paragraphs and I have to say this stuff aint half bad. No wonder she's getting A's
"Did you beat up the bad girls?" my head snaps to see the girl, an image of her sister but with her mother's hazel gems
Putting the papers back hastily I kneel with a weary smile "hey kid, um, yeah, yeah I did"
"Thanks" she smiles up and me, her smile not as bright as it should be
"You're welcome… so is Daisy as annoying at home as at school?" I joke with as much lightheartedness I can muster
Her face turns really pensive before shrugging "she's Daisy"
I can't help laughing at that and ruffle a hand through the top of her yellow mane "you're not so bad kid"
She shakes her head shyly with a coy smile before biting her lip and frowning "Mattie, will you take care of Daisy for me?"
I didn't understand why this little girl seemed so concerned for her sister; maybe she got too much wind of the bullying. Just then in bounces the subject topic with a tray of cheese chips and sodas "hey, you guys getting along?"
"Like a house on fire… I actually did that once, shit spreads quickly!" I laugh before nicking a chip off from the small tray with a tight lipped smile
"You said a bad word" little Lily shakes her head in disapproval
I laugh and go over to the papers on the desk "you know Barbie you aint half bad at this writing gig"
Panic overcomes her face as she puts the tray down and moves to take the jottings, pushing them into the nearest draw "their just… their not really… who wants to watch a movie while we wait for dinner? How about A little princess"
She then scrabbles around trying to find the video, the mini-Barbie jumping on the bed in excitement to get comfy. My brow frowns, casting a glance to the draw before taking a seat with the bubble-headed sisters. Was she embarrassed about being picked on?
After the movie we sit at dinner, it's nice, I guess "So Mattie, how's living with the Mercer's"
She asks nice as you like so with a mouth full of chicken I shrug then swallow "they have cable, so I'm happy. Hey Barbie pass the parsnips"
They laugh then as I eat, man, Hannah can cook! She was nice or grateful at least about what I'd done. Turns out she didn't like Tombs, the guy Daisy had introduced me to. She said he was two-faced and I hadn't really noticed him around lately.
After dinner we had pie, not just any pie, cherry… but then as we sit in the living room watching the end of A Little Princess Hannah comes in while drying a plate "Mattie sweetie there's someone here for you"
I return her smile but sigh as I stand, damn Mercers… but it wasn't one of the boys like I'd thought it was "Hey Mattie-cakes"
"You shouldn't be here" I say hastily shooting the front door and stepping out into the cold
He smiles down at me with a light shrug and a chilled tone "I wanted to see you, did you have fun with your friend?"
"She's not my friend; she's just some girl I hang out with and stuff… Nick, you can't be here" he looks broken at my words swallowing the lump in his throat
He nods and I see the tears rimming his sorrow swept eyes "I know that, I know… I just… I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry for letting you down. I should have taken so much better care of you"
Suddenly I'm the one with the lump in my throat and I can't breathe, his big hand was suddenly on my cheek and I flinch, that hand that once held me so tight and bruised me so shockingly "I'm so sorry Mattiline"
Tears are streaming down his cheeks as he steps back, looking me over with shame on every angle of his face, staring at the snowflake resting around my throat before breaking into a run and I can't help the panic that races through my bones "no, wait, Daddy wait!"
But he was gone, my lip quivering not from the cold as I bite down to still it, to halt my unshed tears. I'm not that girl; I can't be that girl… I can't survive as that girl.
"Mattie, are you ok? Who was it?" I turn back and see Daisy
She's looking at me all concerned and I don't know why I said it, why I felt the need to reassure her but I smile "don't worry about it Barbie, so does this Minchin hag get her comeuppance or what?"
Angel picks me up; he has a black eye from his latest hustle gone wrong, tricking bar guys at pool. He looks over at me with a frown when I turn off the thumping beat coming from the stereo "what crawled up your ass?"
"Your shitty-ass music is giving me a migraine" I say looking over the passing scene outside
I hear him scoff as he says "please, 2pac is the man… you and Jackie aint got no taste, with your angry girl bands and stupid hair"
I look at him with a cocked brow and a low chuckle "Stupid hair? Say's the guy with the afro twice as big as his fat head"
He looks at me wide eyed, braces glittering I notice something pink on his forehead, a smudge of something "who are you calling fat head, Tinkerbelle!"
I can't help laughing with him at that, a lightness coming over me "you're a moron"
We get out of the car and I can't help but smile at the sight I find sat on the porch window sill "Billy?"
He looks up at me with a smile "hey Mad, I got that radiator for you"
Nodding I tighten the warm leather around my shaky frame "about fucking time… is that tea?"
He smiles and holds up the cup "Evelyn made it for me, nice lady"
With a lick of my lips I shrug "I guess…"
He just stands there, towering over me; the tattoo adores his neck stiff as he washes those blue gems over my small body "you ok?"
"Billy Darley, are you worried about me?" I laugh it off but he doesn't waver
Taking a step closer he bobs his bald head with a nod "damn straight! I know that look Mad, I know you"
"You know shit!" I snap, squaring up to him. Passersby would think it's some sort of kiss about to happen, or a threat on a teenage girl
His gaze softens then "Mattie what happened?"
I shake my head, looking down at my feet "leave it alone Billy, please"
He steps back then, taking a sip of his tea. He respected me enough to know I can handle my own shit. Billy got out of the system when he was eighteen, little over a year ago now. We'd shared two foster homes and four orphanages over the years. We had records together; hell this guy taught me how to boost my first car.
"I should get gone, tell Evelyn thanks for the tea" he walks over to his truck after thrusting the cup into my hands and I watch him go, Billy and I have history. I know he isn't happy about me brushing him off but he gets it
I walk into the house only then realizing Angel had darted inside the second we got back, I hear moving around upstairs and not a soul floating around the bottom ground. When I reach the top of the stairs I see Jerry quickly shut my bedroom door and smile those big ass teeth at me "Hey Mattie, did you have a nice time at your friend's house?"
"Move Jerry…" I say with a harsh threating tone
I go to move around him only to be blocked by his lanky frame "so did they have chicken or turkey? You know I like that Daisy girl she seems real…"
Then we start to struggle lightly, me fighting to get past as I scream "move Jerry otherwise I will fuck you up!"
With a swift kick to the shin he crumbles and I burst through the door "Now you all better tell…"
My sentence dies mid-way into the air because this wasn't my room… was it? The two side walls were painted in a pale mint green while the wall behind and in front of me where a petal soft pink. The single bed that had been slammed against the wall had vanished and was replaced with a twin bed, covered in cotton soft pink and green poke-a-dot sheets. The vanity mirror, wardrobe and dresser layered in the same pink and green that was settling into the walls. All my movie and band posters had been framed and scattered around the room carefully. There was a bright green and pink pair of beanbags in the far corner and a new stereo sat on the dresser and there on my bedside table next to a glittery lava lamp that hadn't been their this morning was the picture I had tucked under my bed, now wrapped in a silver frame.
"What do you think?" I turn at the voice only then to remember the people stood around me, covered in paint
I turn to them and for the second time that day I swallow my tears, but not in heartache, I don't know what this feeling is as I ask "is this… for me?"
I sound confused to my own ears as Evelyn smiles and Bobby jokes "sure is, but if you don't like it I'm sure Jackie wouldn't mind switching, right Jackie-boy?"
"Shut up man. Mattie, you like it right?" their all standing their looking at me as I hold the frame in my trembling hands
"Yeah, yeah it's um… its cool. Thanks?" I don't know what to say, this was for me? Why? I didn't get it
"Great, now we go play some Hockey!" Angel smiles, the boys bouncing out the room, each throwing me a smirk before leaving me alone with the old woman
I look her in the eye before asking with knitted brows "Evelyn…"
I look down to the picture as she answers my unspoken question whist cupping my cheeks tenderly "because every girl needs their own little haven and because you Mattiline deserve it"
I look up into her smiling face, all honesty and good intention and without thought I act on instinct… I hug her; arms tightly wrapped around her neck as I barely whisper "Thank you"
Returning the rare embrace she laughs "don't thank me honey, it was Jackie's idea and your brothers did all the work. Jerry nearly lost it putting that bed together"
Pulling away from her I smile and she looks at the picture to me "Mattie, you coming or what?"
A smirk spreads across my face as I put the frame back where I found it, taking one last look at my room before skipping down the stairs and into the yard where on the way to the car a snowball fight broke out and I was instantly beating on them with my heavy handed throws.
"Mattie watch out" a voice called, pulling me away from the attack of ill rounded snow and hiding me with the cover of their lean frame
"Hey Gemini" I smile up into those sky blue orbs
His hundred watt smirk beaming down at me he has a pig spurge of green on his forehead "Hey Capricorn, so you like the room"
I scan over his face before nodding lightly "yeah, thanks Jackie… you know you have something…"
I point on my forehead where the paint is and he rubs at it, only for me to fist a pile of snow and shove it into his face, quickly pushing him off to join the echoing fight behind us as he laughs and gives chase "oh, you are so dead!"
It was fun. Playing around with them in the snow, the teasing and the roughhousing… I laughed and smiled more than I have in a long time.
What I didn't know that just on the corner in a beaten old truck sat a man gripping the wheel with white knuckles, pain in his heart and a gun in his passage seat… if only I knew what was about to come.
Hey guys, sorry for the wait but I've been thinking about how this should convert into the movie and about it becoming an M. All your opinions and suggestions are loved so please review.
JJ X x
