SUGGESTED AUDIO PAIRING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Holy Diver, by (Dio)
Rock n' Roll Creation
(Strangers in a Strange Land…)
"King Cannabis; you are one cool cat," Stahl puffed the Gallian good stuff.
"Cannabis is the herb," Ranulf reminded him. Again. "The king is…"
"HEY CORDELIA; GET OVER HERE AND SMOKE SOME CAINEGHIS WITH THE LION KING!"
"Mphhhhh!…Busy…" by busy, Cordelia of course meant furiously making out with Skrimir.
"OMG; ITS SIMBA!" Ricken and Maribelle glomped the King of Beasts.
"I WANNA MEET TIMONE AND PUMBA!" Ricken tugged at his mane.
"I WANNA SEE PRIDE ROCK!" Maribelle squeed.
"…I don't know what that is…" Caineghis puzzled over the strange requests.
"WHERES THE LITTLE GUY THAT GOES SNARF-SNARF-SNARF?"
"OH OH…CAN I HOLD THE EYE OF THUNDERA!?"
…you crazy kids and your drugs…" Ranulf shook his head. "OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE SKRIMIR; GET A ROOM!"
"So give it to me straight Cannabis…the concert…" Stahl passed the peace pipe. "…did we suck, or did we ROCK!?"
"You have brought a great gift to my people; Thunder Harp will always have a friend in Gallia," Caineghis puffed and pledged. "You are unable to return to your kingdom?"
"Old Man Godspeaker exiled us. He's a DICK!" Stahl still couldn't believe Emm had sold them out to the church.
"You are welcome to stay," Caineghis offered.
"We would be honored to rock with you cat-dudes. But Thunder Harp has a mission; the whole world must hear our sound!"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…not that sound…" Stahl clarified, as sounds of an entirely different kind came from the room to which Skrimir and Cordelia had retired. (someone was having a good night)
"Your pursuit is noble and your quest great; I will not detain you. May you bring joy to beorc and laguz alike, young ones, and away put their strife. Show us all a better way. But before you go, I must teach you the sacred song of the Beast Tribe…" Caineghis gave the wandering rockers his blessing. And then he roared: 'Welcome to the Jungle!'"
"Welcome to the jungle!" Stahl repeated.
"We got fun and games!"
"We got fun and games!"
"We got everything you want; honey we know the names!"
Caineghis taught the sacred words, and Stahl swore on his guitar that he would make of them a rock n' roll anthem for the ages.
"…you don't know how to write songs…" Maribelle reminded him. "Cordelia and Miriel write the songs."
"Where is Miriel?" Ricken hadn't seen her since the concert.
RAWWWWWRRR!
Mordecai flew into the after-party in beast form, floating on a cloud of wind magic with Miriel saddled atop his back.
"…that was edifying…" Miriel dismounted. (You can tattoo and pierce and stud and rock out in skin-tight leather. And you may be metal. But you will never be as metal as Miriel riding a tiger over the rainbow). "Inform Cordelia; we are putting the lyrics ride the tiger in our next song. Also something about being gone too long in the midnight sea."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Where is Cordelia?" Miriel queried.
"Riding the lion," Stahl answered. Loudly, he might have added, but Miriel could hear that much for herself. "About our next song...there's this thing, and it's really…well…its like…uhhhhh…" Shit. Stahl couldn't remember the words. "Hey…King Cannabis…do that thing you just did…"
"First you do that thing that you did," Caineghis spoke to Miriel.
"What thing?"
"THAT thing."
"Surely, I don't know what you're talking about."
"…that thing that pleases me…"
"Oh…That thing…" Miriel whipped out her microphone. And she sang: "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. Oh-eeeeee-eeee-eeee-oh-mum-oh-wehhhh!"
The King of Beasts purred like a kitten, and in his pleasure shared with the creative genius behind Thunder Harp the secret of the Jungle Beat.
"…sooooooo…" Ricken discreetly asked Mordecai. "How many Whiskey Sours until Lethe spreads her legs for the drummer?"
"She would never," Mordecai answered. "But her sister…"
"Last night was a good night," Ricken beamed. (cat-girls do it from behind)
"Last night was a very good night," Cordelia hadn't done a damn thing with her hair and looked a hot mess…and zero fucks were given on this day.
"Heard that. I'm amazed you can walk," Stahl japed.
"Why weren't YOU in the sex room?" Cordelia fired back. If Ricken could get a girl, surely Stahl could have gotten three.
"I got to cross Smoke weed with The Lion King off the list of cool shit I have to do before I die. Successful night was successful." Stahl regretted nothing.
"Did I throw up on myself in public?" Maribelle tried to remember.
"No. You made it to the sink." Miriel recalled.
"Right then. A good night," Maribelle agreed.
"HALT!" A dark skinned, red haired, battle-scarred giant of a man blocked their path. Thunder Harp had unwittingly wandered into… "None may trespass in Goldoa. Turn back or die."
"Hi! We're rockstars!" Stahl greeted Gareth cheerfully. "…We'll just be passing through…"
"NONE SHALL PASS!" Gareth shouted.
"Maybe you didn't hear me," Stahl spoke louder. "I said we're ROCKSTARS."
"Guitar Heroes…Golden Gods…Sex Symbols…we're kind of a big deal…" Ricken bragged.
"Don't you know who I am? Unbelievable…this guy doesn't know who I am…" Cordelia huffed.
"Will you not move aside, good sir?" Stahl implored.
"Goldoa will not move!" Gareth was every bit as stubborn as his king. He transformed and hunkered down and blocked the road to Goldoa with his body.
"Then we shall change your mind!" in the face of a pissed off Gareth, Miriel flinched not and again wielded the awesome power of her microphone. "WE ARE THUNDER HARP, AND WE'RE GONNA ROCK A DRAGON! 1…2…3…HIT IT!
The band rocked, and Goldoa moved. Dheginsea proclaimed the Rock n' Roll Creation to be mankind's greatest achievement of the past 2,000 years, and implored the wanderers to stay among his kin as guests of honor.
"We cannot, great king, for all the world must hear our sound!"
"…So it must…" Dheginsea agreed. "But before you leave take with you the secret technique of the Dragon Tribe. BEHOLD: DRAGONFORCE!"
Dheginsea bestowed upon the rockers a boon of draconic kickassery. Ricken drummed and Maribelle keyed and Cordelia and Stahl strummed with super-speed. And Miriel's lyrics told tales of gods sending champions into battle with swords shining bright in the sky.
"…This is…" again, Cordelia had no words.
"…This is Power Metal..." Miriel gave a name to the boon.
The band said its farewells and its thank yous.
And then, with an ever-growing repertoire of world-changing sounds, Thunder Harp resumed its wandering.
