Hey all, this chapter is a little off script, but don't worry it will resume and I hope you enjoy. A big big thank you to my awesome reviews your reviews keep this story alive :)
Love ya's
JJ X x
It's been two days since I found out, I don't understand how it happened, why they didn't tell me, especially Daisy, girls the biggest mouth piece on this side of the known fucking world. She's left me more than twenty texts and uncountable unanswered calls, and then when she showed up at the house this morning I had Jack send her away. How am I supposed to talk to her?
I think she was crying as she climbed back into her car, looking up at me. I think it broke my heart a little.
I wrap Angel's old, warn army jacket tighter around myself to fight off the chill as I suck in the burn of the Tabaco, leaning against my window frame, it's snowing again and I faintly hear the click of the window beside mine and heavy footsteps treading through the snow covered roof "Damn it Mattie, how long are you going to keep this up."
"So you're on his side then?" I growl without looing away from the burning embers of my cigarette.
Climbing past me and through my window Jerry takes a seat, facing into my room rather than the white street "Don't even do that. He messed up Mattie, he's sorry… for fucks girl sake he's been sat outside your dammed door since you slammed it in his face last night."
I'd only left the room for something to eat, to see Jerry when he came over after Jack called him and ratted us out, but Bobby ambushed me, sprouting the same shit he'd been saying since he crawled home from the hole I left him in.
I turn to look my brother in the eye and growl "he fucked my best friend Jerry. Daisy, remember her, sweet, annoying, bat-shit, brilliant Daisy and he made her keep it from me, I know he did because she didn't say a word. Not one fucking word and she tells me everything, she can't help it, it's like a fucking disease or some shit."
He looks over at me all sad eyes and sympathy and I'm not sure whether to punch him or hug him, he makes the decision for me as those sting beans he calls arms wrap tight around me, hugging me he looks right at me "listen, I know Bobby is allergic to his own brain, but he loves you. Just talk to him Mattie, please, for the sake of this messed up family, just talk to the fool."
I don't want to talk to him, I want to punch him, slice him up like Sweeney Todd and forget all this shit, but Jerry's the brains, he's my big brainy brother and I know he's right, I don't like it but I know. So with a small silent nod of my head he smiles with those fucking tree munchers and kisses my brow, squeezing my shoulders before walking over to unlock the door.
Bobby scrambles to his feet as the door slowly opens; a hopeful sheen on his sleep deprived face. Looking between Jerry and me as our brother bows out with a mutter "try not to screw this up man."
It's that quiet again as Jerry wonders off and I flick my bud out the window, back to Bobby before I turn, stone faced fury "So… this is the part where you tell me some bullshit story on how you ended up in Daisy's pants."
"Mattie…" he looks like I kicked him in the nuts, I should kick him in the nuts.
"When? When did 'it' happen?" I'm watching him; he looks all fidgety, like when Ma would call him on his latest shit-storm he's trailed in.
Swallowing hard he doesn't meet my gaze "that time in New York, the fucker with the roofie, I took you home… after we made sure you were alright…"
"You decided to stick it to my best friend. Nice work bro, another girl off the check list" I growl at him, clapping sarcastically with a snarl.
Biting his lip and clenching his fists Bobby snaps "why are you being such a bitch? I get that your pissed and all that shit, but for fucks sake we had sex, it's not the end of the damn world Mattie, people have sex every fucking day and it's not like your some damn rosebud virgin saint. Is it because we didn't tell you, because for once Daisy actually didn't involve you in every aspect of her fucking life, because you're not in charge? What is it Mattie, what is your fucki..."
"YOU BREAK THINGS!" I scream it at him, not stopping to watch the way every muscle in his body freezes as I rabble on "Everything you touch you break, you can't help yourself. Amanda, Claire, Fiona, all those girls kissed your fucking feet and you shit on them, you broke them down and I won't let you do that to her, not Daisy, she deserves more than that shit."
He glares at me for a long moment before shaking his head, nostrils flaring "so I'm not good enough for her is that what you're saying? And what shitheads like 'Dan' are? That's fucking bullshit Mattie and you know it! What she's so much better me, because she's your friend?"
I can feel my heart smacking "Yes Bobby, she is better than you, she's better than me, than all this shit….she aint like us Bobby."
His eyes bulged as mine watered and I watch him watching me with total confusion "what the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh come on Bobby, look around, look at us, you and me, we're broken; Jack, Angel, hell even Jerry… we are the very definition of fucked up and that's fine because that works for us but Daisy… Daisy's good; she's in a good college with a good future, she's going to be an A list journalist and travel the world and get her happily ever after, because she's Daisy and she's the one it works out for… not us, we're the ones that go through life screwing it all up over and over because if it aint broke we don't want it." somewhere half way between my rant one of us had moved, I don't know which one, but he's right in front of me with his ugly-ass wife beater.
"For fucks sake, she aint no saint Mattie, she's just as messed up as we are… Princess, come on, I know you want to protect her, that you love her, why do you think I stayed away huh? I got to know her, hell maybe even like her and I walked away, for you, because I knew you'd lose your nut, knew you'd look at me the way you're looking at me and I couldn't bare that shit. I chose you. Princess we didn't mean to hurt you, you know that right." He's in full big brother mode and it doesn't tug on my heart strings, it doesn't…
Without thinking I punch him in the stomach and before he has a chance to keel over in pain I pull his to big frame into an awkward homely hug and say into the ear "If you hurt her, brother or not, I'll fucking castrate you."
Walking away I don't look back to see him gripping his stomach in pain or the crooked smirk as he chuckles "so we're good."
"I'll think about it…" I shout back as I step down the stairs, I can't let him off that easy.
Sat in the living room Jack parked his ass next to me with a bag of cheese balls as I flick through the cartoons, Angel passed out on the sofa as we squeeze into the chair and I end up half sitting on his lap, he's got that hundred watt smile and I raise a brow suspiciously "what are you so happy about?"
"You being all protective of your bestie." I elbow him in the rips as I turn, finding myself even more in his lap with one leg thrown over his lanky knees "seriously? Eavesdropping, that's what gets you off these days."
"Hardly eavesdropping with your big mouth drowning out the whole damn neighborhood and you have no idea what gets me off." he smiles with that mischievous smirk and I instantly know what's coming, trying to scurry off his lap but two strong arms pull me back as nibble fingers dig into my sides.
"Jack no, Jackie, please!" I scream through the forced laughter and god I'm going to fucking kill him but I can't stop wriggling and we end up on the floor.
"Say it!" he commands with a laugh as I struggle, trying to hit him, knee him, but he has both my hands pinned to the carpet in one of his ridiculously big hands as the other keeps on fucking attacking me and I can't stop fucking squirming as he lays above me.
"Jack Mercer is I fucking rock god, king of the world whatever just stop please. Jackie!" I giggle furiously, panting for breath as he smirks that shit eating grin down at me "Not bad, you know you're pretty hot when you're all submissive…"
We laugh together as I try to knee him off me, freezing as Angel, who without opening his eyes once groans "will you to just go somewhere and fuck already, I'm trying to sleep here and all the sexual tension is killing my snooze time."
We both look at our brother, his face stony and grumpy as always before looking back to each other and he finally releases me, before I push him to the floor and snatch away the cheese balls left on the chair, making a run for it with a pull of my tongue "Mattie give those back, there the last bag."
"That's what you get for ticking me dick-weed!" I shout as he chase's me up the stairs, neither of us seeing Angels half smile as we fuck around.
After I'd eaten some cheese balls, half of them ending up bouncing down the stairs, and Jerry giving us a disapproving look he stole from Ma, I sit in my room taking a deep breath as I speed dial and hold the receiver close, pushing back my chocolaty curls, this was going to be some tough shit.
"M-Mattie?" she sounds shaky and I hate that that's my fault, if you'd have told thirteen year old me I'd someday be feeling guilty for upsetting my bubblegum pop stalker I'd have laughed in your fucking face… how times change.
I nod to myself and smile "don't sound so worried Barbie; anyone would think you got shit to sweat."
The muffled laugh makes me feel a touch better, but I can tell she's been crying, for fucks sake "so you don't hate me?"
"What? Hate you? Fuck no, I mean who would I have to irritate the shit out of me, besides you make a mean Sunday roast, like I'm missing out on those just because you decided to share your 'o' face with my brother." I do my best to make a joke of it, yeah I'm still pretty pissed but I know Daisy aint the type to hurt others, she aint like us.
"Good, because it took a ridiculous about of time for me to worn into your life to have it all thrown away now." she laughs and I let out a breath of relief.
A knock echo's around the house, not that I pay it any mind "exactly, but seriously Bobby? Out of all my brothers you had to pick the one with the temper of a fucking volcano?"
"He's passionate." I can't help the laughter as she jumps to his defense
I hear voices getting kind of loud before answers "He's homicidal, where do you think I get that shit from."
"I just figured you were born angry, or maybe had some hormone issue that messed up your moods, you know, like permanent PMS." I would have joined her in the merriment of it except those voices have gotten pretty fucking loud, verging on screaming.
So walking to my door I say "Listen Barbie I'm going to have to call you back, I think my dipshit brothers are killing each other."
"Ok, love you." Daisy smiles down the phone in her usual chipper tone and I make my way down to the ruckus "you to Barbie-girl… Hey! What the fucks going on down here, world war three?"
I see Bobby shaking his head and storming off mumbling under his breath something about an interfering shithead, Angel just folds his arms "Mattie, you have a visitor."
My gaze falls to Jacks angry face, his arm blocking the doorway, blue eye blown back with rage as he growls without hesitation "go back up Mattie I got this."
"It aint your business Jackie-poo" Angel mocks as I push my way past the pair.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" but I stop dead in my tracks at the person stood there, looking at me like all they want is to pull me close and never let go.
"Hey Mattie" Big brown cookie dough puppy eyes gaze into me and I feel myself melt a little.
My stomachs doing backflips as Jack Glares with pure consuming hate and I barely whisper "Freddie?"
