To Guest- thank you! :D My friend came up with Helga, as in Helga Hufflepuff, but I like your names too! Aloe Vera :3

Sorry for not updating last night, I was reading BoO! :D


"Hiccup!" The chief turned, giving his father a quizzical look. "No time for silly faces!" Stoick grabbed him by the arm and started hauling him away. Hiccup made to question him- he had a very busy day today- but Stoick was talking again; "The baby's coming!"

"But… that's early!"

"It clearly runs in the family! Speaking of running…" Stoick shoved him forward, "go! I'll sort out your work!" Hiccup shouted his thanks over his shoulder, sprinting all the way home. The one day he didn't take Toothless with him…

He stumbled in, nearly tripping over his dragon's tail. Toothless was mewling in the corner, his paws over his eyes. Astrid could be heard complaining and agonizing upstairs, her cries of pain drowning out Valka's and Hildegard's attempts of soothing her.

"Hiccup, I'm going to kill you!" Astrid groaned, her words trailing off into an incoherent, pained moan.

Hiccup didn't know much about childbirth, but he was pretty sure women didn't give birth on all fours.

He apologised to Astrid and tried to convince her it will be alright; he wasn't sure if she noticed. "What's going on?" He asked the older two women.

"The baby's up against her spine." Valka explained gently. "We're trying to encourage it to turn around." Hildegard was pushing her knuckles into Astrid's lower back, humming nervously to herself.

"But it'll be OK, right?" Valka nodded, pressing her lips together. "Mum?"

"With a little luck, yes."

"Oooohhh, I don't like this…" Astrid put her weight on her knees, half-groaning and half-sobbing. "Damn you, Hiccup." She wheezed through gritted teeth.

"I said I was sorry." He knelt next to her, taking her hand only to have his fingers crushed.

"You… had better be…" She growled.

"Very." He confirmed, placing his other hand over the one he already held. Another contraction rattled her frame, making her cry out again. "Aren't they a bit close?"

"Yes," Valka confirmed, "but the baby needs to turn before she can push." Hildegard applied more pressure, murmuring prayers.

Hiccup hated seeing his wife so distressed. He had promised to be at her side when the time came, but they thought they had another two months and this was far worse than he had imagined. It was definitely his awkward child.

"Oh no, it moved it moved it moved…" Astrid started taking deeper breaths, her eyes tearing up from the torment ridiculing her body. Contraction, curse Hiccup… curse Hiccup again, contraction, breathe and repeat. That was Astrid's cycle.

"How long does this go on for?"

"It differs." Valka replied calmly. Hiccup started chewing his lip nervously, his gaze returning worriedly to his wife. Valka wanted to promise him everything would work out fine in the end- she and Hildegard had prayed endlessly for such- but it was not good to tempt the gods.

Astrid cried out, jolting. Hiccup tensed, his grip tightening on her hand. She swore colourfully, cursed him again and then declared, pained, that the 'little so and so' was not against her spine anymore. Her mother and Hiccup eased her onto her back, gaining curses and agonised complaints again. Hiccup hastily apologised, which Hildegard found amusing, but he was distracted by his mother's frown,

"What?" He demanded. Valka hesitated, checking Astrid again before meeting her son's anxious emerald eyes.

"She's not ready yet." Astrid swore through another contraction, all but breaking Hiccup's fingers as her hold increased.

Hiccup mentally swore as well- never swear in the presence of a lady or ladies, even if one of said ladies was cursing like a trooper- bewildered by childbirth yet again. The contractions were minutes apart, the baby couldn't be far off, surely?

"Not… ever… no…" She managed. "Damn you."

A knock on the door.

"Have I missed anything?" Stoick called hesitantly.

"I've reached a million death threats now." Hiccup replied. Stoick grumbled and Valka left to inform him.

"Mum…" Astrid whined, her teary eyes finding her mother. Hildegard smiled weakly, taking her daughter's other hand. "I… don't… like this…"

"I know, sweetheart, but you can do it."

"Stupid… baby…"

"It is Hiccup's."

"Hey!" Hiccup made a face at the pair of them as his mother walked back in. "That's just rude."

"Nearly there." Valka announced.

"Oooohhhhh…" Astrid spat another curse and glowered at Hiccup. "Kill… you…"

"I know, I know, kill me dead." She nodded stiffly, momentarily content.


It was another two hours before anything exciting happened. Hiccup stayed with Astrid the whole time, ignoring the various cramps in his arms and legs as best he could. Valka kept Stoick up-to-date as often as possible while Hildegard dithered between worry and anticipation.

Astrid muttered a final curse and then young cries splintered the air. Hiccup distantly heard his father cheering and Toothless roaring in form of answer. His wife collapsed against the pillows, huffing in exhaustion.

"What is it?" Hiccup asked. Valka beamed at him, her eyes shining with tears. She and Hildegard hurriedly cleaned the baby, cutting and tying off the cord and then wrapping the mewling infant in a blanket.

"What-?" Astrid started, but then she was holding her child. "Hello." She smiled.

"Do you still want to kill me?" Hiccup asked, shifting closer to peer at the tot.

"Of course." She nodded. Hiccup beamed and kissed her forehead.

"Wouldn't expect anything less." He looked at his mother, who answered before he could repeat his question.

His child had fine, dark hair like his and blue eyes like Astrid. There was that fresh, delicate air about the new-born, with sweet little features.

"Oh look, all ten toes."

"Is that an amputee joke?" Astrid smiled innocently and then yawned. She settled to sleep within the minute, mumbling for Hiccup to take the infant.

Hiccup was absolutely delighted to do so, holding his daughter carefully. "Hello you."