Hey all, ok I'm so, so, so sorry about the lack of update here but I've had a serious case of writers block with this. I'm still not sure how I feel about this chapter and if I should change a few things so be kind enough to let me know.
Love you all
JJ X x
Jack and I almost jump to opposite sides of the room as our brother looks at us wide eyed and shakes his head "What the fuck was that?"
"Angel man it aint want it looks like." Jack mutters through kiss swelled lips and it takes me a second to breath as Angel folds his arms, steeping further into the room and letting the door swing closed "the hell it wasn't… and it's about damn time."
For the first time in about five minutes I actually open my mouth "W-what?"
I hadn't meant to say that, I had meant to call him crazy and walk out… don't ask me why I didn't.
Angel just smiled that stupid grin of his as he laughs "don't give me that 'w-what?' shit, you two have been pussy-assing around each other for years, with all the jealous and touchy shit. You make me sick, taking this long to get you heads out of your asses. Now move it before Bobby comes in here and loses his shit."
We actually do it to, Jack and I sharing a pretty intense fucking look before following our brother out with a 'later' nod to Johnny. When we get outside into the cold Bobby looks kind of pissed "the fuck took so long? Have you been sucking some dick in there or something? Get your asses in the fucking car before my nuts freeze off."
The drive is pretty quiet except for the radio, Angel passes me my 45 with a sly wink and a knowing smile, Jack and I sat with our thighs touching thanks to Bobby's back seat having only one working belt back here. Yeah, awkward isn't even the fucking word.
We get to the old warehouse and I smile at the memories of coming here myself back in the day, one time after me and Ma had a fight and she just walked in all polite, excuse me and shit until she saw me; grabbed onto my earlobe like a damn lead and pulled my drunk ass home.
As Bobby pops the trunk he eyes Angel expectantly "you got a burner?"
"l flew in." meaning he had to dump it before going fifty feet near the airport. My brothers are a lot of things, but they're not completely retarded.
With a shake of his head Bobby pulls out a Colt MK VI Series 70 and passes it over almost reluctantly as I whistle at the beauty "Man, be careful with my baby… You like that?" Bobby smiles the last part at me as I stare and carefully run my fingers over the cold metal in awe "She's fucking gorgeous!"
I see Jack smiling over at me tickled by my little kink as Angel moves the gun out of my reach "Got ammo?"
"Yeah; it's loaded, little brother, careful. Here, you carry the gas can." He shoves the dented red gas-canister into Jacks hands, making him roll those baby blues of his at the routine he knows well at this point.
Fuck at this point we all know the act like the face in the mirror. Still Jack's never really been a fan of it, maybe because he's the one Bobby always gets to assist "We're gonna do that gas thing?"
Bobby looks at his with a frown, pulling out a Remington 870 shotgun as he mocks Jack "Yeah, we're gonna do the gas thing. The only thing that scares people more than getting burned to death is people getting eaten alive. Let's go."
"What do I-? What do I get?" Jack mumbles around the unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth and I can't help but fixate on it, remembering the sweet smoky taste of his lips now wrapped around one of my favourite addictions.
"You coming with us? Here you go, sweetheart. Poke them with that." Jack looks pretty unamused as Bobby hands him the tyre-iron but it makes me and angel laugh "Oh, thanks."
"You're welcome." Well if he wanted a gun so fucking bad he should have brought one I knew for a fact was Bobby's thinking, and Jack knew better than to push it as we walked into the old crack shack "Let's go. Five-oh! I want to see some hands!"
"Get out! I don't want to see any of you back! What are you doing here?" we walk in to the blaring music finding a bunch of kids freaking out "Hands! You got any drugs or alcohol on you?"
"We're gonna make ya'll take urine samples!"
"Get out of here! Get your little asses home now!"
The kids run for their fucking lives and I know my brothers are having way too much fun with this shit as we wave around guns and play at being pigs.
When we empty out a corridor we head up to the next floor, remembering well where the king of this shitty castle once had his thrown, I have to bite my lip not the laugh as Bobby gets all squeaky on us "The po-po's is here! Ya'll better run, man, these white cops are crazy! They killed Cornbread. He didn't do nothing."
"Everybody put your fucking hands up!" I scream, pointing my 45 Kimber Stainless at the little fuckers trying to scurry past us.
Bobby cocks the shotgun, all threating like as jack tails silently behind us the whole fucking time "Detroit Police! I want to see your fucking hands in the air!"
"You, over here. Yeah, yeah, you! You the man, right? Sit down and shut the fuck up! Give me the gas." Bobby's pointing the barrel right at this kid's chest, forcing him back into the seat before switching with Jack for the canister.
Is it just me or do you remember the gang runners being more intimidating that some scrawny ass high-schooler. Because I sure fucking do… "Yo, what the hell ya'll want? Ya'll aren't no cops. What the hell you doing here?"
"You're gonna wish I was the police when I'm done with your ass." Bobby growled as the splashed the gas over the kid who was trying to act the big man in front of his friends "No, no, no, no, no. This is not the talking part, okay? This is the listening part, so shut your mouth."
Jack finally lights the sweet, sweet cancer stick I'm seriously craving right now while Angel screams at some random chick as she bitches about the cold… I like her boots. I stand with my gun pointed to the kid, this kid whose crew might very well have killed our mother.
Bobby aint to pleased when the boy has no idea about who we are and why we're here because what do you expect, you kill a Mercer you best be ready for a bloody gore ridden war you stupid bastard. Bobby does his thing, getting pretty impatient as he snarls at the gagged gangster "I know you're not gonna tell me what I want to know, so I'm gonna light your little bitch ass on fire. Then I'm gonna watch you run around here like a chicken with his head cut off, lighting all your little friends on fire. Is that what you want?"
Angel, with his gun still pointed at the small group snarled from beside me "Which one of your boys shot up the liquor store on 104th Street? …The police got witnesses, bra. Don't even hit us with no bullshit."
I look over to Jack holding the shotgun to the boys head and feel my mouth go dry, has he always been that hot or is it the gun?
The kids mumbling again and Bobby shouts at him, knowing his lines to this scene well "Okay, tough guy. Hey! Now is the talking part. You better start saying what the fuck I want to hear. Speak."
He rips the rag from the squirts mouth as he defends his crew "Man, that shit was counterfeit as a motherfucker, man. Ain't nobody playing no basketball when that shit went down, okay? Why you think cops ain't arrest nobody?"
Bobby lands a swift punch as a warning, you don't fuck with a Mercer… I notice Angel give a reassuring wink over to Jack, who'd flinched when Bobby's fist met the kids face "How do you know nobody was playing basketball if you weren't there?"
"Because, bitch, police said those people wasn't killed till 11 o'clock."
"So what?"
"So they turn the court lights out at 10!" we all shared a tense look at that information, Bobby checking his watch.
I knew it could only be around 9:30ish but wondered about what this little fucker said… how would we know? We play Hockey, quick sticks and tight passes with knives on our feet not dancing around our buddies like a fairy-fucking-princess to put a ball threw a hoop.
"Let's go. Let's go." Bobby grabbed the boy by the scruff of his collar, hauling him out of his tattered little thrown "Now, where we going, man? The fuck ya'll taking me?"
Bobby points his gun at the kids Angel gassed as we walk by "You little bastards need to stay in school."
Not a second later I hear metal connect with scull and Angel's voice "That's what you get for calling my brother a bitch."
"I hope you all have a very nice evening." I watch Jack with the shot gun in one hands as he swings the tyre-iron in the other and it's unholy for a man to look the hot with weaponry.
I mean seriously what the fuck man?
"Hey that's mine!" some punk ass hit snarls me as I pick his half drank bottle off the floor, following after my brothers with a long swig as I shout over my shoulder "yeah, come and take it… when you turn 21!"
I get into the car, swashed up against the door with some little boy playing gangster in the middle of Jack and I.
"Whoop, you guys cosy back there?" Bobby glares into the rear-view mirror and I can see Jack squirm in his seat and kick the back of Angel's chair at that shit eating grin he thought we were to fucking blind to notice.
Yep, the beer was definitely a must, man.
We get to the courts at 9:56 exactly, waiting with bated breath for those lights…."It's 10:02 and these fucking lights are still on."
Angel had never once let the kid go; keeping tight hold of the fucking bastard as he snarls "I know you know who did this, homeboy."
I'm stood right next to Bobby, fingering the still damp wet patch on Jacks shirt, biting my lip and tapping through the chill of the cold as Bobby decides he's done waiting "This is bullshit. Let's pop this motherfucker right now."
"Speak up on it, man." I hear Angel warn the boy with a snarl as I swallow hard, I know my brothers and hospitalizing someone is their equivalent to 'talking it over'
I can see the worried look in Jack's baby blues "Bobby, take it easy."
"Shut up, Jack. Come on." I knew this was bad, seriously fucking bad as I tried to grab my brothers arm "Bobby, think ok? Just fucking think!"
"I am thinking Mattie. Thinking about Ma, remember her?" it's a cruel jab and I'm not going to lie it kind of fucking hurt.
I stopped with a bite of my lip and hands in my hair at the idea of killing this kid, I'm all for getting who murdered Ma, but this… he's just a fucking little boy playing dress up and yeah I'm kind of debating it "Look, what-? Yo, man, they gonna shut off! They gonna shut off, man!"
"Only lights that are going off are yours. Let's go."
Just then the loud click and darkened the streets "Look, look, look. Look."
Bobby shoves the kid back and I watch the tension in Jacks shoulders drop, knowing the little punk isn't about to meet his maker "You're fucking lucky."
I watched Bobby walk towards the courts with a strange look in his eye, not noticing Jack reach for me as I race over to our eldest brother while the cocky fucker runs his dumbass mouth "Told you. Man, ya'll fools been played. Get off of me, man! Ya'll don't even know who you messing with, man. Questioning me about the lights being off and all that."
I heard the impact of Angel's fist "Why don't you shut the fuck up, man? You talk too much."
Usually I'd have laughed and joined in on ridiculing the boy, but Bobby just had this look… this bad look as I take his meat-hook of a hand in both of mine "Bobby, what's knocking around in that oily-ass dome of yours, bro?"
He doesn't look at me, just stares off into the darkness as he hoist's up my hands to place a gloomy little kiss on the knuckle "Nothing good, princess."
Now, that… that scared me…
We left the 'Gang Leader' just off the main road, before heading home. We hadn't talked on the drive home, I'd ended up in the front seat beside Bobby, but I could hear Angel making under his breath jokes and wiggling his eyebrows at Jack with that grin I was about to beat out of his fucking face!
The second we got through the door Angel vanished upstairs with a sly wink and Sofia dragging his ass to go fuck… Jesus, can't those two go more than 12 hours without fucking or fighting?
"Jack, it was a questionable kill." My heart stops at that, I know I wasn't meant to hear it buy the hushed tone but I did, I kick off my boots and try to breathe.
What does that mean?
Why?
Who?
Fucking Why?!
I walk past Bobby and Jack both a quick "Night guys."
They wait until I'm upstairs but do I fuck go into my room after hearing that, I need to know more "What makes you think that?"
"Boy, it's sad, you growing up without a father. Nobody taught you anything, did they? I should've stayed around longer and held your little hand, huh, sweetheart?" it makes me smile slightly, Bobby teasing Jack… Ma would have smacked him right upside the head for that.
They wonder into the kitchen and I'm careful to miss the creaky step as I strain to hear them "Whatever, man."
"Look, sometimes pros will cover up their shots with another crime. Like a burglary or something. Then pay a witness to throw the cops on to the wrong suspect. You understand?" no, no I don't fucking understand because it makes not a lick of god damned sense! And somehow Jack can read my mind because he asks the question that's being screamed into my head "Why would anybody want to kill the sweetest woman in the goddamn world?"
"I don't know, Jackie. I don't know." I can hear the heartbreak in my brother's voice and a part of me wants to go to him, but another part knows better. Bobby's never exactly been the share and care type "We should tell them…"
"Tomorrow Jack, we'll tell them tomorrow." I know what he's doing and I hate him for it, I hate the fact he still looks at me like I'm that fucked up little 13 year old bitch that got dropped in his lap. I'm not some little girl anymore. I don't need protecting. I hate him for it… but I love him for it to.
It's almost midnight when my bedroom door opens; I'm sat on my bed, eyes closed as I lean on the cool wall listening to Ma's Lesley Gore CD, one of the few she owns rather than her beloved vinyl's "so it was a hit..."
"Eavesdropping? Not your usual route." I hear the door click closed as the bed dips, I don't move. Yesterday I would have laid my head in his lap, played with those long fingers of his and changed the subject from our mother's assassination to anything else while he played with my hair.
But that was yesterday; before I knew what his lips tasted like, how good the metal stud feels when he curls his tongue into my mouth, how his eyes darkened like a wild animal… wanting me.
So yeah, don't freak out Mattiline, its Jack… it's just good old Cracker Jack.
So I laugh out of the corner of my mouth "Yeah, I'm more of a smash and break kind of girl, but hey, it's been a long, long day."
For at least a minute we just sit on my bed listening to one of the songs Ma would sing to as she swayed around vacuuming. I can feel it though, feel him staring at me until I finally open my eyes, swallowing hard as I turn to him, I don't know what I'm going to say "Jack…"
Not that I get much of a chance because his mouth is on mine like a fucking magic act. Magic, yeah that's a good way to describe the way his hands slide up my bare legs to grip my thigh hard onto his hip as he lays me down, tongue still searching mine like it holds the answers to all his damned questions. His hair is soft on my fingers and as he trails kisses along my jaw I fight to actually think through the hot, lusty fog in my head.
Then like a flick of a switch my mind is running a mile a minute. The door's unlocked. What if Angel barged in with that fucking stupid smirk of his or Bobby…
Our hot tempered, mule headed, crazy protective big brother!
No…
No fucking way.
My hearts pounding and I push him off me, pretty much jumping off the bed and across the room. Jack looks kind of shocked because he was doing good… so fucking good "what the holy fuck are we doing? We don't do this! We… we can't!"
"Mattie, Baby…" Jack's suddenly right there, looking at me with those puppy dog eyes of his, but the second he touches me I move like it burned, like I didn't want to lean into it and forget about everything else.
"No, don't fucking call me that ok just… this is insane. Your Jack and I'm your fucking sister!" I can feel my fingernails scraping into my skull as I pace my room.
I can feel him following me around the small room and trying to get me to look at him, but I can't, if I look at him I stop thinking about all the shit as to why this is just bad idea in general, but a make-out or two, yeah we could totally move past that.
Right?
Then he's got me by the shoulders and making me look at him, making me look at those franticly darting baby blues and I can't fucking breath, what did he get a superpower or some shit in the last 12 hours? "No you're not! You're a lot of things Mattie but you're not my sister! And I know what you're doing, ok your freaking out and I get that but you can't bullshit me. I know you want this, us, just like I do."
It hit me then that this isn't just a new thing for him; he's thought about this "since when?"
I watch his Adam's apple bob (that I don't want to kiss, no… bad Mattie) as the question hits him, Jack knows me, knows what I'm asking and then he starts biting his lower lip, now that's just not fair "since Hunter…"
At the sound of that name my attention is pretty much fucking focused back to the subject "are you fucking with me? You've had all this feeling bullshit going on since that piece of shit?"
Jack and I have been through a lot, but Hunter was something that broke him a little, he'd always blamed himself. I knew that, but it wasn't his fault, Jack's not the one who slipped that roofie into my drink and dragged my fucked up ass into his van. Now I can see it going over in his head, as he bites his lip and shakes his head at me "look Mattie when I opened that door and saw… I just… for fucks sake I hospitalized the guy! The only reason I didn't end him right there is because Jerry and Angel pulled me off him, because you were sat there cracked off your fucking head and crying. And the thing is I wanted to him dead, for the first time in my life I actually wanted to kill someone with my bare hands… and I would have, for you."
Now that stunned me, how those sapphire gems of his looked down at me with a sparkle of the bloodlust Bobby had. Hey, that's a big fucking development. Jack's a lot of things but he's never been much of the violent type, that's what he has us meatheads for. Jack doesn't like shouting and tries his best to avoid fights, which is pretty damn hard when you're a Mercer. I swallow hard at that because FUCK!
I don't know when it happened but I'm backed up against my door and for the second time tonight Jack has me pinned, chest to chest as those inked, lean arms cage me in and it shouldn't turn me on, but in some twisted way it really fucking does "you never…I… you can't just say shit like that to me, Jack!"
Pushing off with the flat of his hand Jack looks at me, all teary eyed and I hate that, seriously fucking hate it "you think I don't know that? You think I haven't spent the last six years trying to forget how I feel, how you make me feel, how insanely fucking jealous I get seeing with other guys? I tried to make it go away, I drank and I fucked and nothing worked! Not a damn thing ok? I just… I just wanted you; it's always just been you Mattie."
I haven't moved a fucking inch from the door during his little rant because one big fucking question is going through my mind "Why?"
He's breathless from his little rant and just stares at me for a minute until he smiles into a giggle. Jack strolls over to me with that same crooked smile of his, leaning in close and I should push him back, knee him in the nuts for getting into my space and bruise him up a little, but I don't. We're nose to nose and I can feel his warm sweet breath on my lips, those deviously long fingers trailing along my side "because you're you. Big bad wolf and little Red all rolled into one. It's ok Mattie, its ok to be scared… but I'm here, your Jackie's right here Baby-girl."
You know what… Fuck it!
