Well it's safe to say that my last attempts at freedom didn't go too well. Ok I failed miserably, but and there is a but, I have found that staying here isn't so bad. Ok I'm shacked up with a sadistic git, who keeps avoiding me, but he hasn't hit me in a while and god knows Ive given him reason to.
Like yesterday for example, I decided to go snooping around in the basement where he keeps all of his potions and found this really interesting one. It was a deep purple colour and really thick. I had never seen it before and my naturally curios mind got the better of me. I uncorked it to see if it had a smell, it did. Oh Merlin, it smelt like other peoples cooking, and you know how other peoples cooking smells really bad right, well so did this. I was completely caught off guard, so accidentally I dropped the purple goo and ran out the basement.
I heard Snape go down there later on and he screamed. It so happened that the purple stuff was a sort of hair growing shampoo thing. Aww poor Snape worried about losing hair. Tee he, I mean that's just weird, but not as weird as what happened. The whole of his basement potions lab became covered in thick black hair, well some of it was ginger and some of it was blonde and I swear there was a bit of brunet here and there, but the hair was literally everywhere. It was growing out of the walls and from the ceiling, all over his potions and his equipment; there was even some flowing about the windows.
Whats strange though was that he knew it was me, I mean who else would it be, but he chose not to do anything. I assume he was probably embarrassed about what the potion was. But I didn't even get a glance.
Now I have changed tact and decided to attention seek. It's pretty similar to annoying the crap out of Snape but with fewer consequences.
I mean if he asks, 'hey clever lady what you up to' I can say, 'oh but Snapey Poo I was just trying to get some attention out of you', and bat my eyelashes.
That way he will either feel sorry for me for being an attention seeking brat, or (and this is what I'm betting on) get really embarrassed and sulk away,
I wonder how far I can push him.
Im going to drive him insane I know I am.
Mwahahahaha.
"What are you laughing about?" I here him call up the stairs.
"Sorry I didn't realise I was doing it out loud" I shout back down.
He's at my door now, "how could you not realise you are laughing out loud?" he genuinely looks puzzled.
"Well I thought I was doing it in my head" I tell him, I know he never laughs so he wont have any idea what im going on about. For that matter neither do I.
Hehe, crazy.
"Right" he says slowly.
God he is patronising git sometimes.
"So, did you get a hair cut?" I casually pop into the conversation.
"WHAT?" he looks shocked and slightly scary.
"Your hair" I point at it "it looks shorter". I was going to go for thinner but I thought that would be pushing it.
He looks at me and snarls before walking off.
Hehehehee.
"Oi, Snape" I call down after him.
"What?" he sneers back up the stairs.
"Don't look at me like that, what did you want?" I ask leaning over the stair banister.
"I'll look at you however I choose to this is MY house Miss Granger, and I simply wanted to see what you were laughing about"
"YOUR house, I know it's YOUR house, you keep reminding me, and what business is it of yours what I am amusing myself with?"
"I remind you Miss Granger because you seem to keep forgetting your place, and it is my business when the subject of your amusement is me"
He really is paranoid. I mean it was him I was laughing at but he's not to know.
"Whatever" I call down.
He hurries off in a huff.
5 minutes later Marvil 'pops' into my room, "Missy is making Master sad" he cries.
"What" I say to him dismissively. I really can't be doing with another bite from the little sod. My ankles are red rore.
"Master be sad that Missy not liking him" he squeaks
"What are you going on about?"
"Master" the little elf says smacking his head as though it's obvious.
"Eh?"
"Master is telling Marvil that he wants Missy to be liking him but missy just make fun of him and try and leave"
"Oh, he wants me not to try and escape?" I ask in a tone that suggests I know what's going on when I don't.
"Not just that master be wanting you to be liking him" he stresses the last few words because he has repeated them so many times.
"Me?" I ask "why?"
"I do not know, Marvil thinks master stupid for liking the mudblood but he does, he tries to look nice and grow his hair nice for the mudblood" he says with a smile.
"What? That was what he was trying to do? He could just use shampoo like anyone else, and if he likes me than why not just tell me?" it's weird how I'm just coming to terms with the fact my evil ex potions professor likes me and not freaking out as I so rightfully should.
"Master is not telling anyone, not even Marvil. I be hearing master mutter things under Masters Breath, and see Master sad. Marvil comes and asks Missy Mudblood to see Master so Master is happy again."
I just look at him weirdly for a few seconds. This is so totally strange. And why aren't I bothered about it.
After a forceful tug from the tiny elf I go downstairs.
