Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, no copyright infringement intended. If you still want to sue bring Ianto back to Jack first.

Warnings: Might contain spoilers for the TV-series. Not beta-read and English's not my native language, constructive criticism is appreciated.

In the depth of the light

Before it was time for Gwen and Rhys to come back inside the hub, Jack escaped the routine he had imposed over himself and began wandering aimlessly around the city.

He had spent his night watching some videos from Rhiannon's batch, videos full of his lover and himself working and entertaining themselves in their very own hub: he had to find a way to get himself reacquainted with reality, or else he would easily end up crazy with grief.

Truth to be told, what had initially began as a pleasant way to kill boredom and eternity had eventually only made him wish desperately for his Welshman to come out of the screen and offer him a cup of coffee.

Jack knew that he wasn't allowed to show himself weak to his own desire in front of the others, especially because Gwen would keep fussing on him and most likely take away his only beloved distraction. And there was no way in any inhabited galaxy that he would allow that.

The excuse he had found for his little tour around the city had been a 'weak series of signals about something that could have been contaminated by void energy'. Jack could only guess that, if this was enough for UNIT to make Torchwood do some research over it, it was also enough for him to justify his apparently aimless stroll to his co-worker and her husband for his a.

Obviously, both Jack and UNIT were sure that there was nothing alien or dangerous to be found, but as long as there was a reason –no matter how far-fetched it was- they both thought that it was absolutely fine wasting public money on it. If it could also keep Gwen quiet, Jack counted it as an added bonus.

When boredom was eventually winning over him and Jack was beginning to seriously consider going to visit Rhiannon and beg the woman to make him company for a while, the soft buzz of the barely awake city was all of sudden interrupted by some loud noises coming from a near bank.

Jack made it just in time to see a skinny man dressed in dark rushing out from the building with a screaming young girl trapped in his arms, when the crowd around him began getting so thick that he had to make his way back to the front with a little more force that he had initially intended. When the robber was once again in his sight though, he could notice that in his hand there was no common gun or knife: there was a bloody grenade.

Luckily, everyone was too scared to try and go near the man: the fear of him dropping the small bomb seemed somehow greater than curiosity itself. The desperate glare in the robber's eyes, moreover, was enough to tell Jack that he would have easily given up his life out of desperation, and apparently the same opinion was shared by Cardiff general population.

Mixed among the crowd, he could make out some policemen trying to approach him unnoticed but still unable to get near the man. Jack wasn't certainly going to make a habit of letting himself be involved on mediocre events like a robbery in a bank, but since he was already there, he thought that for today he could even offer himself as bait.

Jack made some steps towards the robber, so that he could get the man's attention on him, and offered him his best and most handsome smile.

"Nice day today"

That apparently did the trick and the robber turned to face him, finally giving his back to the police squad. The cops couldn't be happier of Jack's interference, and offered him a grateful nod before approaching the criminal. Instinct told them that they knew the man, making them glad that one of them undercover was around… even though their current amnesia about the identity of the handsome bloke might regrettably lead them to the chance that he was Torchwood. Bloody Torchwood, no matter how helpful it was at the moment.

Still, the help from someone who was not a civilian was welcomed, and they couldn't be happier about it.

"Don't talk to me" The robber screamed at Jack. "I'll drop it! The girl will die!"

As if on cue, the young woman closed her eyes in fear, and a soft moan escaped her lips as she waited for her death like it was something imminent and unavoidable.

"You will die with her, have you thought about that?"

Jack tried to sound as calm as he could, even daring to take a couple of careful steps in his direction. The policemen behind the robber, on the other hand, were allowed to gain a much more important advantage.

"Stop right there I said! I don't care if I die"

"If you didn't care about dying, then why rob a bank? A ghost doesn't need money"

He had chosen the word ghost on purpose, and he was happy to notice how it had sorted the desired effect on the man: the robber tightened uncertainly his grip on his hostage, but his eyes were much less confident about his actions. Unsure of what that could mean, however, the small crowd that had formed around them dissipated quickly, making Jack way more relaxed, but also leaving the cops without more coverage.

Now they were alone in this: Jack, the policemen, the robber and one single innocent woman praying for her life.

"My family needs it…" The failed thief muttered.

"If that bomb explodes, no one will get the money. It will burn. And you and the girl with it"

"I had to try!"

"You're right, you had to try" Jack admitted, trying to sound both caring and friendly as he dared to take another step towards the man. "But now the only thing you can do for your family is not giving them a tomb to grieve on. Believe me, no matter what you've done, no one wants that, not when it's the tomb of someone you love. Don't worry, there will be people to take care of them"

The man seemed to almost believe Jack's words and was just about to let the girl go, when the policemen made their move and jumped on him from behind.

Everything happened in an instant.

One of the cops managed to slide in front of the robber and free the scared girl, taking her as far as he could, whilst other two tried to block him by the shoulders and disarm him. However, the desperate man wasn't in for nicely giving up his freedom and struggled and tossed to escape the tight grip on him, eventually letting the grenade drop. Without the safety pin on.

Jack rushed forwards and reached for it just in time to stop it from exploding. Unfortunately, since the protection had already slipped off its place and he could not find it anywhere near, he was at a loss about what to do with it. Some rapid glances over the small bomb also told him that it was most certainly handmade: there was no chance it would work like a normal grenade would.

In his experience, everything could set it off, so he decided to throw it in the direction he had come from, where he knew that the crowd had already cleared and no one would be hurt.

Like he had predicted, it exploded in midair way sooner than he had expected.

The force of the blast sent the two policemen and the robber, who had already been retreating from the dangerous area, on the green patch of a private garden not far from where they had been, but Jack got the worst of it and he was thrown fiercely several feet backwards.

Opposite to the cops' soft landing, to add hurt to injury, not only he was hit by the full force of the explosion, but he also got slammed violently against the wall of a nearby café.

It didn't feel like dying to Jack actually, but the captain was certain that he had at least gotten himself a big concussion or something like that. He could feel himself losing and gaining conscience every now and then, but he was never aware enough to make out what was happening around him.

Everything sounded confused and muffled, with persistent shrills hurting his nerves way more than his head.

Jack could blame only himself for that, truth to be told, since he had completely forgotten to protect his ears from the noise of the blast. The last time he had faced a grenade was more than two thousand and fifty years before, however, so he decided to make old age guilty for his forgetfulness.

When finally he managed to distinguish some actual sounds, even though what was actually happening around him felt still a mystery to him, the few things he could be certain about were the high pitched scream of a woman and a familiar deep voice asking him something.

As he tried focusing on what was immediately in front of himself, he could only make out what seemed to be a dark skinned hand professionally opening his eyes and flashing them with some light, and another pale one methodically cleaning away the blood from his face.

He couldn't know how much time had passed since he had been smashed against the wall, but he was certain that at least he hadn't been moved from where he had landed, since the chatter and noises around him were certainly the ones of central Cardiff.

"Are you all right, sir?" Jack eventually managed to hear clearly, as even his vision began clearing up a bit.

"Sir?" The voice insisted, but its owner was apparently pushed away as the same dark skinned hand from before opened wide his eyes and flashed some more light at them. Now that he was way more conscious of his surroundings, that gesture made him react abruptly and he put some distance between himself and the owner of the hand that liked to torture him so much.

"He's getting his senses back" An unknown female voice said in relief, apparently satisfied with his reaction.

After a couple of more blinks, Jack was sure that he was feeling marginally better and tentatively looked around himself, taking in the still vague crowd staring down at him concerned and the two fuzzy people towering over him.

"My head…" Jack moaned in pain.

"You should rest some more" The female voice said again, and this time he could fairly suspect that she was the owner of the hand that had tortured him with the annoying light. Looking at her sideways, he noticed that she was dressed in something long and white.

"Are you a doctor?"

"Yeah… ED isn't exactly my specialization though" The owner of the female voice admitted. "So you've better to just wait here a bit until they come. An ambulance should be here soon."

"I don't need an ambulance" Jack protested, trying to get up, but apparently it really was too soon, even for his standards, so his head simply began spinning like crazy again.

Two slim yet strong hands grasped him just in time before he fell and helped him lie down again.

"You shouldn't push yourself too much, sir!" The deep male voice from before protested heatedly and now he was certain to recognize a Welsh accent in there. "Hasn't your mother taught you to listen to medical advice?"

Jack wanted to glare at the unknown man, but his head was spinning too much, and it was only thanks to all his strength that he managed to barely set his eyes on the newcomer.

What he saw, however, made him think that he was hallucinating all over again.

Hovering over him there was a young pale man, with short dark curly hair and clear blue eyes. The image was still blurred and he couldn't make out much of him aside that and the white shirt and tight jeans he was wearing, but the leap that his heart did in his chest couldn't be just his imagination.

"Jack, stay behind and let him breathe" The medic admonished the Welshman, making him retreat a bit too much, making Jack's attempt to focus on the man better fail miserably.

"How are you now? Where does it hurt more?" She asked again, but Jack plainly ignored her and kept staring at her companion, hoping for his sight to come back enough to see him properly.

The woman stared back and forth at the two of them a couple of times and then her gaze fixed on the wounded and confused captain. "Is there something wrong?"

The man who had been called Jack, though, took his chance to move near the captain once again and lowered himself enough to inadvertently let him finally see the man wearing his same name. Jack's heart stopped beating as what could by reason be nothing more than an illusion took his breath away with his mere presence.

"Do you know me? Please, answer me…"

"Jack, darling, he's got a concussion." The doctor argued once again. "There's no way he could recognize you even if he actually knew who you are... He's just confused poor dear, and you've not many distinctive traits except that Welsh accent of yours. And we are in Wales."

"I'm fine…" Jack protested, his speech slightly slurred.

"Please, stay here?" He added hastily, grasping the Welshman's shirt for dear life, scared that the illusion might vanish before he could understand what the hell was happening. "Give me few more minutes and I'll be fine…"

His head gently reclined to his side as he leaned on the young man assisting him, and eventually his breath evened, despite the doctor's desperate attempts to keep him awake. The Welshman, unsure whether it was ok to move him or not, could do nothing but wait for his wake, holding him tight in his arms as he kept tending to his bruises, bruises that seemed to be healing far too well for his likings.

Much to everyone's surprise though, Jack not only woke up unscathed from his momentary slumber, but a good part of the concussion symptoms he had been showing before had disappeared altogether. He also managed to sit up without any further complication, even though his self appointed carer kept his hands on his shoulders for good measure.

"Are you well, sir?" The Welshman asked tentatively and felt Jack tense under his grip as soon as the words left his mouth.

"You…" Jack asked with an extremely weak voice that only he knew that had nothing to do with the grenade accident. "Who are you?"

The Welshman smiled unsurely at him. "I'm Jack"

"Then we have the same name…" Jack had tried to go for humour, but the words just trailed off his mouth without actual emphasis, as he failed to contain his disappointment.

"Not unusual, Jack is common name" The medic butted in, crossing her arms on her chest and grimacing at him. "Look, I'm specialised in memory damages, but I know a concussion when I see one. You need to go to the hospital… Or well, you needed"

"I'm fine" Jack told her, still not managing to take his eyes off the Welshman until a word actually made it through the haze and caught his attention. "Memory damages?"

"Yeah, Jack here is my patient. We were trying to trigger his memory with a stroll around the city when we saw the little stunt you pulled. You have some nerve, Jack."

Jack's heart frenzied in his chest, as it irrationally hoped for something that he knew it couldn't be possible. However, his eyes glued once again on the young man in front of him and he had to admit that his heart couldn't be much wrong. Nothing seemed to stand out as different: same voice, same lips, same eyes, same face… he would go as far as to say same smell.

Same Ianto Jones.

"Marion's right" The Welshman told Jack, offering him a sweet and honest smile that took his breath away for the second time in a few minutes. "You are a hero"

Once again Jack was at a loss of words, staring stupidly at the familiar features way too long than it was socially acceptable between strangers, until finally Marion took it upon herself to point out the obvious.

"Look, do you know him or have you just been love struck?"

"I'm sorry" Jack said quickly, still not managing to tear his eyes away from Ianto's look-alike despite his efforts. "It's just… He looks too much like… but he can't be…"

"I wouldn't normally ask you this after the blow you took, however, if you really are fine, why don't we talk a little inside this bar? Jack's amnesia needs quite a lot of help, so I wouldn't mind if you could provide some… At the same time, it will make me feel better to keep an eye on that disappeared concussion of yours"

Jack automatically nodded at Marion's proposal, and the three of them soon escaped the questioning crowd still present, seated themselves inside the bar and ordered extra-strong coffees for everyone.

"Coffee here is not bad" The Welsh Jack commented, feeling only a tiny bit uncomfortable because of Jack's continuous stare on him. "But I discovered that I'm way better at doing it myself"

The captain laughed and eventually lowered his eyes, finally giving the Welshman the chance to stare back at him without feeling too inappropriate.

"I know, nobody can make a coffee like you- I mean…" He trailed off and stared at the opposite direction, realizing what he'd just said. "I- Well, my…. friend, the one that looks like you… He could make marvellous coffee too. No one could match him in coffee making"

"What happened to him?" The Welshman enquired, hoping not to be too nosy.

"It's classified" Jack blurted out before he could censor himself.

"What?" Marion asked shocked, reminding Jack of her presence at the table. "Who are you really?"

"My… friend and I" Jack attempted to answer vaguely. "We were a particular kind of civil servants…"

"Civil servants?" Marion repeated unsurely, recalling something from the depth of her memory. "There was a group of unorthodox people, once, that still went by that definition, if I'm not wrong. No one knows what happened to them though… Did he go missing in action? That would explain a bit"

"Not exactly…" Jack trailed off once again, trying to find a way to properly dodge the questions even though he desperately wanted to confront the Welshman and see if something could actually trigger his memory. "Where did you find… Jack. More than that, how do you know his name is Jack to begin with?"

"We found him last week under the debris of a pub already burned to ashes years ago. The name just came out naturally as he was wondering about a name he was familiar with. However, he himself couldn't say why the name fell that easily out of his lips. Like the rest of the few things we managed to make him remember, he can't make those memories his own or give them meaning. It's quite unprecedented"

"So… You're not sure that's your name. It could be your father's or your dog's" Or your boyfriend's Jack's mind supplied unhelpfully. Ianto's look-alike nodded sadly, confirming however his supposition. "What about the pub, what pub was it?"

"The pub that exploded some years ago, the one that was supposed to be hunted. For some reasons last week someone thought it was a good thing to make more debris out of the debris… Looks like our Jack was caught in the middle of it"

"As far as I know I could easily be the culprit…" The Welshman admitted with more than a hint of shame, hunching his shoulders guiltily in the same slightly childish way Ianto used to.

"You're a nice man, Jack" Marion told the Welshman, her hand resting on his. The small affectionate gesture was enough to make Jack irrationally jealous, still, he managed to put on a fake smile as soon as she smiled back at him and excused herself for a while.

As soon as they were alone, nerves began eating Jack alive again.

It was since the day he had asked Ianto out on their first date that he had never felt so nervous. Back then, he had known he was walking on a very thin tread with Ianto and that the risk of being rejected was high because he was the one at fault. Still, back then, he and Ianto had both clear in their head who they were and how much good or bad they had done to one another.

Now everything was different: Jack had no real reason to believe that the man sitting with him was his Ianto, and even if he was, at the moment they were nothing more than strangers. No back-story, no shared secrets, no guilt and no regrets to live for before it was too late.

How much he missed that messed up life of theirs.

"So… She seems nice for a doctor" Jack offered casually.

"The best there is at the hospital actually" The Welshman answered on the same tone.

"Are you going out together?" Jack asked eventually, hoping to seem nonchalant enough to be believed, but knowing by the Welshman's stare on him that he had completely failed his goal.

"We went out together a couple of times, she's a great girl" The Ianto look-alike answered truthfully, making Jack curse himself for letting his heart hope way ahead than what his rational mind would allow. "But we're not together… Were you?"

"What?"

"You and your… friend. Considering how you speak about him and the way you look at me… If, if I were the man you knew, would we be together?"

"I- I don't actually think I can find a way to say how it would be possible for you to really be him."

"Was that a yes?"

Jack sighed deeply: trust Ianto to not strike home despite his intentions.

"Yeah… It broke my heart losing him." He admitted, heaving a deep sigh.

"You… Do you have someone else? Now?"

"No, just our tapes-"

Before Jack could explain further, Marion came back, smiling interested at him and making the captain wonder if she had left exactly in order for Jack to open up with her patient. "Am I hearing about tapes? Registrations? They could be good for therapy"

"And they could contain something classified" Jack quipped curtly, not happy to have been caught with his defences down in front of a stranger. Somehow, the Welshman made him feel completely at ease, no matter how much he tired to remember how he was a stranger as well, but the young doctor didn't have the added benefit to look like his old boyfriend.

"Find one without classified information and let's watch it together then, so I can be sure you're not making up stories about his past only to get into his bed. After I confirm you're safe for him, you can watch the rest together and I'll step aside. You seem to let out information easily when you're alone with him, even though you keep saying it's not possible for our Jack to be your friend."

"What about checking the progress of the therapy?" Jack countered, a bit suspicious by her proposal.

"I can check it later, I don't need to see the videos myself. So, you're up for it, Jack?" She said turning to the Welshman, who just kept staring at the other Jack without really acknowledging her words. "Jack!?"

"Oh, me?" He stuttered eventually. "Well, I-I've got nothing to lose…"

"Neither do I" Jack stated, eventually losing himself into the Welshman's eyes as soon as they met again. "Still, before going on with this, I need to start some analysis. I need to discover what happened to you, because, if you really are who I think you are, well, it would be one hell of a story and you must want to know it as much as I do"

Marion rolled her eyes, annoyed by Jack's lack of proper information about what had happened to her patient, whilst the Welshman simply nodded and kept staring uncertain at Jack as his blue orbs seemed almost wider and cleared than before.

"But… Who would I be?" He asked unsurely in the end.

"What?" Jack countered, slightly taken out of his own reverie.

"If I were him, your friend…" The Welshman clarified. "What would my name be?"

Jack smiled at him and then simply had to tear his eyes away from the man, before everything became too overwhelming for his already fragile nerves. He took out from his pocket his professional kit to take samples and focused on the items in there. "Ianto. Your name would be Ianto."

"Ianto?" The Welshman said, savouring the name on his lips. "Why would I come up with a name like Jack though?"

Jack made him open his mouth to take a swab of saliva and filed it away, preparing the syringe for the blood.

"You tell me" He teased, smirking in his direction and making the Welshman blush in embarrassment.

Marion's eyes went from one Jack to the other as the captain proceeded with his efficient work, going from using one ordinary syringe and swab to some high tech device she'd never seen anywhere else. When Jack explained that it was used to scan the air around him, she could do nothing more than hope that he wasn't having her on.

"I'm done here" Jack concluded eventually and stood up, ready to go back to the hub.

"Jack? You know…" The Welshman protested, sadness seeping through his voice. "You keep staring at me like that, but you still need all this… Why would it be so difficult to accept that I'm Ianto?"

Jack bought himself some more time checking some inexistent folds on his shirt, but eventually he knew he had to answer.

"If you were Ianto, I guess you would like answers for you being here… But I have none to give you, and I suspect that you wouldn't know even with your whole memory..."

The Welshman nodded, despite knowing for some strange reason that Jack's answer was far from the truth.

"It's getting late, my co-workers will be worried… And I want to analyse this as soon as possible." Jack told them as he leaned over the couple and offered them a piece of paper and a pen. "The only address I can give you is the information boot near the Millennium centre, I'm sorry."

"Still classified?" The Welshman asked curiously as Marion took the pen and paper and began scribbling her address and phone number on the card.

"No, I really don't have my own place. I sleep where I work… And where I work is classified."

"You've better to have told us the truth, you know?" Marion snapped, giving him back his things. "Give us a call when you find something to see, we'll meet at my place."

"Alright" Jack told her, but then his eyes were again on his lover's look alike to steal a last glance at the man. "See you soon then"

That said, Jack literally escaped, leaving behind himself a dubious doctor and a completely amazed Welshman.

"So… Were you hiding it from me for some reason? I would have never guessed you to be gay" Marion told her patient and friend with fake nonchalance.

"I wasn't hiding anything, and I don't really think I'm gay." The Welshman protested, slouching over his chain now that he could no longer ogle the handsome stranger. "Still, there's something I can't explain about that man… When he flirted with me… It felt natural. Nice."

"Nice?" Marion asked surprised.

"Yeah, nice." He repeated still a little bit dazed, but as soon as he remembered what had been going on between him and his doctor, he soon stared down at his hands ashamed. "I mean, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to fake it, Jack, it's fine. I wasn't going to drag you to my parents, you know? We just went to dinner a couple of times"

"And I liked it." The Welshman hastened to add.

"Yeah, but you like him better." Marion stated matter-of-factly, making him blush.

"What if it's just my own idea?" He asked her, still not daring to stare at her in the eyes. "What if I'm willing myself to want him only to demonstrate that I'm really someone with a proper identity?"

"So I was right thinking that the friend wasn't just a friend." Marion noted completely satisfied with the results that her little trick had brought.

Ianto's look alike nodded and then stared vaguely outside the window. "I wonder what happened, he looked like he had seen a ghost"

"Well where we found you was once called the House of Dead. Ghosts were supposed to be seen in there, who knows, maybe you're one of them"

"Maybe he thought me dead? But I feel very much alive" The Welsh Jack protested, looking down at himself and patting dubiously his chest. "Why didn't he check if I was really dead if he loved me that much? He said it has been years!"

"Look, despite what that Jack said, usually gaining back your memory is the key to erase all of your doubts. Try to be nice to him, but don't overdo it, not until you recover something you are certain is yours. You will never know what he's hiding"

"Fine" He accepted plainly.

"C'mon, let's get back home." Marion decided eventually, standing up ready to pay for their coffees. "We still need to find that horror movie with those monsters in blue boiler suits"

T.B.C.