Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, no copyright infringement intended. If you still want to sue bring Ianto back to Jack first.

Warnings: Might contain spoilers for the TV-series. Not beta-read and English's not my native language, constructive criticism is appreciated.

If I fall in love with you

After a few hours of scans and tests, Jack decided to check everything again by himself and sent Ianto to watch some of the videos his sister had provided. After a shy beginning, some of them easily became Ianto's favourites, especially the ones including adult versions of more known kids' games.

Eventually, however, Ianto had to admit that he couldn't grasp the depth of his own character.

There was something in the general attitude of his video-self that Ianto simply couldn't understand: the way he moved around Jack, the sad longing in his eyes, the remissive approach whenever he confronted Jack on some of the things he said or did… It was like he had been scorched badly by something, something he couldn't remember and that he couldn't outline from the few misplaced words in one DVD or another.

Jack had told him that they had seen lots of terrible things in their years working together, alright, but somehow Ianto felt like that whole attitude was related to the captain in particular.

Annoyed by the lack of help coming from the DVDs and his own memory, Ianto pushed away the remaining stacks of his 'allowed videos' and rummaged among the ones Jack had still deemed unsafe for the current state of his memory. He got his hands on a random flash-drive with a weird name on it and connected it to the computer, hoping that this 'inappropriate' information were shocking enough to jog his memory.

*Flat Holm -Aftermath*

Ianto sat alone at the far end of the long table inside the conference room, apparently waiting for something... or someone.

After few seconds, said someone arrived, in the form of an extremely angry Jack. He had a high stack of blank papers with him, and he unceremoniously let them fall all in front of Ianto, cluttering the neat surface of the table with an indefinite mountain of messed up sheets.

"Hope you're ready for a night in, Ianto, because I want a detailed report for every single missing person Gwen made contact with. The complete victim's data, whether we retrieved them or not, how she interacted with them or their family, detailed description on how and how much retcon we administered"

Ianto bit his lower lip and took a deep breath through his nose.

"It should be Gwen's work." He managed to say. "Besides, I already have perfectly filled files on the missing people in the archives, I can just add the part concerning the parents being involved now and the retcon administration. I don't need to redo everything from scratch."

"Oh, you will add that information on the victims' files, yes, but you will also write these reports. You will do it, not Gwen, because you are the Flat Holm responsible inside the team and also the one that made her find out about the island!"

"You already yelled at me for that!" Ianto snapped, staring angrily at Jack but still keeping his calm façade on the outside. "And I already told you that it was better ending things quickly, because she's stubborn. I don't deserve to be punished like a schoolboy, writing the same thing over and over!"

"Oh, yes, you do!" Jack stated, slapping his hands on the table to emphasize his rage. "You do need to be punished like schoolboy since you're acting like one!"

"I'm not and you know it!" Ianto retorted, he himself slapping his hands on the table and standing up to face Jack. "I thought about the situation very accurately before acting!"

"You. Did. Not! You disobeyed me when I gave you clear orders!"

"If I disobeyed your orders, then punish me accordingly" Ianto teased, the glint in his eyes showing something different than anger.

"Oh no, you won't get out of this thanks to our relationship this time." Jack said finally, and then turned his back to his lover to make his exit, leaving Ianto pouting disappointed behind him. However, soon he stopped on the spot and stared once again back at him. "Wait a minute, was that on purpose too?"

"What was?" Ianto quipped exasperated, as he seated back on his seat and tried to reorder the papers he was supposed to fill.

"Gwen discovering us"

"I do not own mind-control as special ability and I had no real access at the security system to jump on you as soon as she crossed the door" Ianto pointed out matter-of-factly.

"No, but you're good discovering patterns and habits. You usually give Owen double strength coffee on Saturday, because you understood that he would end up asking for another in less than an hour if you didn't"

"So," Ianto drawled, gracing the edge of the reordered stack of paper with the tip of his finger, but not meeting Jack's eyes. "You're asking me if Gwen usually takes the same amount of time each time to: go back 'to stay with Rhys', jeopardize every plan she made with the man and come back here bitching for you to reconsider one of her ideas that you just denied?"

"Ianto, you're evil." Jack concluded, shaking his head confused at the veiled admission of guilt. "Why would you do that?"

"Maybe because our dance at her wedding wasn't warning enough and because you didn't even want to hear me out when I asked you to tell her about Flat Holm. You even snapped at me worse than at her, even though I was trying to make you see reason!"

"See reason!? Your little jealous stunt put the families of the victims in danger!"

"I didn't do it, Gwen did! Stop forgetting about that!"

"You told her-"

"I didn't tell her a thing!" Ianto stressed out once again. "I sent her in the right direction before she got her nose in way more important things! Did you really want Gwen to discover all your and my little secrets just for not telling her about one single fucking island!? An island she was bound to discover anyway!? Do you want to shield her from the 'cruel reality' that much?"

"Oh, so you tried to protect me now." Jack said flatly. "With a jealous stunt."

"Well sorry for caring then! Maybe you would have liked it, her discovering all of your secrets, so she could finally become your confident instead of me and lick your wounds!"

"Ianto, now-" Jack attempted to mend in, realizing that they were messing and mixing things up quite royally.

"There's no Ianto now! She's married for fuck's sake! I'm sick of this and I'm sick of you!"

Ianto punched the table in rage and stood up once again, almost running for the door. As he passed next to Jack though, the captain snatched his arm and made him stop his rush.

"Let me go!" Ianto yelled, trying to escape his lover's grip.

"Ianto, listen to me" Jack manoeuvred him between the table and himself, taking care to block all his escaping routes. "Nothing will ever happen between me and Gwen"

"Why? Because she's married? Because I'm enough to satisfy your basic needs?" Ianto said, choosing his words well enough to get some reaction from Jack. "It's still not because you don't want her!"

"What made you come up with all of this?" Jack asked unsure, taken aback by his lover's hurtful words.

"Oh, let me think about it." Ianto drawled, hurt now clearly seeping through his words. "Maybe me writing five hundred times not to be a bad boy whilst she's already back home with the man she's married with!"

"She's been punished enough seeing what she's done and I yelled at her properly too"

"Didn't I see the same desperation in those mothers' eyes?" Ianto pointed out. "Didn't I feel guilty for showing her the way to Flat Holm and making her see all that desolation!? Didn't I feel ashamed through my bones when she saw her loyal and quiet co-worker half naked with his hands inside our boss' pants!? Why do I have to do homework and be criticized by my lover, instead of getting a candlelight dinner to forget this horrible day!?"

Jack lowered his eyes and took a deep breath, realizing only then why people kept saying that relationships between bosses and underlings weren't easily manageable.

"Ianto, I… Didn't considered how much you felt involved in what happened, I'm sorry." Jack admitted. "Still, that misjudged punishment was from your boss, not from your lover"

"How am I supposed to understand who is which right now? It's usually the lover the one clouding the boss's views on what happens, not vice versa."

"You know it's not true with me, Ianto, I'm just trying to not favour you over the others. That wouldn't be professional"

"So what? To not favour me, you treat me worse than them? Why? Because you know that even though you're mean I won't complain!? Or because you need always fresh examples of how you punish me despite our relationship to give to whoever question your judgement on me!?"

"I never thought any of those things!" Jack countered heatedly, despite realizing that quite often he had actually been harsher on Ianto than to the others for that very same reason. "C'mon Ianto, try to see reason…"

"I don't want to!" Ianto yelled, trying once again to free himself from Jack's grip.

"You're acting like a child!" Jack yelled back, holding on his lover for dear life. "Get a grip of yourself!"

Ianto finally stopped struggling and Jack mentally slapped himself, seeing tears glimmering at the corner of his eyes. He hugged Ianto tightly and kissed him reassuringly on his cheek.

"Sorry, Ianto. I didn't mean to be that harsh…"

"Who's sorry now?" Ianto protested weakly. "My boss or my lover?"

"Both I think"

"You… think." Ianto deadpanned.

"Well, yeah, I behaved badly from both sides… However, I think it's the lover the most sorry of the two. The boss is more hurt in his pride than sorry actually, because he didn't realize that you had already got your punishment."

"Why doesn't the lover feel hurt by the same reason then?" Ianto sniffed.

"Because he should have noticed… So he's feeling extremely guilty... And sorry." Jack tightened his hold around Ianto and left a couple more kiss on his cheek and then a few more on his neck until eventually his lover relaxed in his arms. "It's just that… You're bloody difficult to read. Just the opposite of Gwen"

Ianto sighed and finally hugged Jack back, offering him a quick peck on his lips as forgiveness token.

"I'm sorry too… You said yourself that a relationship of any kind with you would be difficult to bear, just… I already have to stand you dying every time and know that you will come back hurting like hell… At least in the small things, in our everyday life, I'd like something nice to make up for all that, something that shows me that we are for real..."

"I don't sleep with anyone else at the moment" Jack offered, making Ianto chuckle despite the increasing sadness in his eyes.

"Are you saying that monogamy is the only nice thing you can give me?"

"Of course not, but me telling you this in plain words is something that helps easing your heart, isn't it? I'm from the future after all, I know you still have doubts for the way I was used to behave in the past"

"Oh, so you know me that well" Ianto teased, his smile visibly more real this time.

"I know you well enough when I'm not an enraged boss" Jack stated proudly, earning a nod from Ianto for his efforts.

"I'll have to take your double personality then, along with your… unfortunate condition"

Jack kissed him again on his lips, making it longer and sweeter than Ianto's last one.

"I'm sorry to be a burden to you"

"You're not" Ianto stated, capturing Jack's lips in another chaste kiss. "More like the opposite"

"Am I forgiven then?" Jack asked, resting his forehead against Ianto's.

"Yeah… But only if you can make it up to me?"

Jack gave him a flirty smile and caressed Ianto's jaw with the tip of his finger. "What about dinner and a movie?"

"What about we follow through what Gwen interrupted, and then dinner at mine?"

"I like it" Jack said smirking at Ianto. "What's on the menu?"

"You?" Ianto teased, kissing Jack hungrily and turning their positions so that Jack was the one trapped between Ianto and the table…

*Pause*

Ianto stared at the video, not knowing exactly what to think about it.

Certainly Jack had a condition that was 'unfortunate', so he had guessed right about the captain hiding something, but aside that he couldn't really explain anything else.

His counterpart had said that Jack could die and come back from death: rationally speaking it was impossible, so Ianto crossed out the literal interpretation of the statement, despite his better judgement, and tried to think about an option that could actually make sense to him.

Maybe he fainted frequently? Recovering wasn't painful though. Maybe he had epileptic attacks? Those surely must feel like dying and sounded painful enough even though he had never experienced them.

What to make of Jack's admission to be from the future though? Was that just a pick up line? Could it mean that he was good in bed? Probably his love-making was something extreme and avant-garde… He certainly looked like he could do something like that.

Too many of Ianto's questions couldn't be answered though, and unfortunately they were all about the man he was somehow strongly attracted to. He had no other choice than waiting for Jack to tell him though, didn't he? As he turned his eyes towards Jack's office door, Ianto had to really question if that time was ever going to come.

He didn't like to leave something so important about his life to the likings of someone else, and even though he might end up regretting it later, he wanted to make that mistake and do finally something he believed to be good and necessary. Wasting time doing nothing wasn't in his character… At least, as far as he knew.

Getting back his memory was going to be difficult, and not only because all Marion's science hadn't helped him that much until now, but also because at the moment the main point of everything crossing his mind was Jack: the doubts he still had about his 'condition', his 'coming from the future', but more than anything else, just the man himself.

It was absurd and strange at the same time. Ianto didn't feel like he had been some sort of sexual deprived maniac in his past, and even in the worst videos he had seen, even before his amnesia he had always been quite the traditionalist, getting involved maybe a little too much wholeheartedly but never really searching for it.

Now, the need to be with Jack was always there with him, clouding his mind like a thick fog that didn't leave him much room to focus on his amnesia or to even court the man the way he wanted to. A situation that somehow made him wonder if he really was the same Ianto Jones of the videos, the one with his life held firmly in his hands and that could speak clearly his mind to his lover.

After taking a deep breath, Ianto decided that the real first thing he had to do was finding the captain and convince him to kiss him, date him or something: no matter how much he really wanted to be useful to himself and Jack -or see the sex scene that was going to follow on screen- he too desperately wanted something real, something that really was his.

It didn't take him too much time to find the man he was searching for soundly asleep on the sofa in his office. Seeing him like that, Ianto decided that probably most of the things Jack had told him in the past and that didn't really make sense were only to brag about himself more than the truth. Proof was that he had seen in one of the videos Jack saying that he didn't really need to sleep, something that even his not-amnesiac self found barely believable at all.

Ianto knelt down next to him and for some long minutes simply enjoyed the view, losing himself in some vague fantasies that could even have been real memories. It seemed almost impossible that a man so handsome had been his lover, but for some reason, as soon as he had seen the captain that first time near the bank, he had known without doubt that they weren't just strangers.

Everything drew him to Jack and, more specifically, drew him to kiss him.

The captain would have never allowed that, but he was currently sleeping and Ianto really wanted to get closer to him... Closer to his past and to his forgotten life. Stealing a kiss from a person he had met only a few days before felt absolutely out of his nature, but the maddening scent surrounding Jack erased even the last bit of self control that he still had, and eventually Ianto had to give in.

He leaned forwards tentatively, hovering over him just so that their noses were almost touching, and he simply prayed every God that was supposed to be out there for Jack to not wake up. He swallowed, and eventually moved closer… and finally he could feel Jack's cold lips on his, way softer than he had foreseen.

Ianto awkwardly deepened the kiss and, after a small surprised groan, he finally felt Jack, still half asleep, answering heatedly as they held each other closer and their hands buried themselves in each other's hair.

Disappointingly, it didn't take too much for Jack to snap back into consciousness, and as soon as he realised what he was doing, he broke the kiss abruptly and tried to make some room between himself and his former lover.

"The hell, Ianto! It was our first kiss!" Jack complained. "It was your only chance to finally have it right!"

Ianto blinked a couple of times, feeling like he had just woken up from a long sleep. The thick haze clouding his mind had finally lifted and that gave him a more real perception of his surroundings. As proof of that, as soon as allowed himself a moment to replay what Jack had just told him, he was quickly ready to focus on how mental his lover's words were.

"Jack, I don't bloody care about how this second first kiss happens as long as you don't regret it. If you keep waiting for the perfect moment, we will never progress!"

"Progress? Where to?" Jack asked, momentarily disoriented by Ianto's words and earning an annoyed grunt from his lover.

"I was under the impression that we liked one another… However" Ianto noted, surprised he himself as he considered how he was feeling. "I don't really think you affect me that much anymore now that I kissed you"

"Is this a nice way to tell me how much I deluded you with this kiss?" Jack tried to tease Ianto to lighten the mood, but he actually felt utterly mortified and quite worried by the meaning behind his lover's words.

"Quite the opposite, I'd still like to be kissing you more than anything" Ianto reassured him hastily. "The kiss was amazing"

"Then, what did you mean?"

"I just… It's like…" Ianto scanned his head for a proper definition of how he was feeling, but he couldn't find much help there. "A spell broke"

"Ianto, please, you must know that usually magic has more scientific reasons behind it"

"I don't mean like a real spell, but… I don't feel that force making me want to kiss you no matter what and above anything else." Inato explained. "This reminds me, do you need to do more tests with me?"

"I don't know…" Jack answered tiredly, yawning and stretching his limbs. "Some values are off, but I don't really think that your need to kiss me was caused by those"

"Off? How off?"

"Something between composition and radiation…" Jack answered vaguely, somehow glad that Ianto was asking about the sensible things for once. "But I'm still at a loss there"

"So… I'm not really your Ianto Jones" Ianto noted sadly and still terribly confused by Jack's explanation as he attempted to stand up and leave. "I-I'm sorry for the kiss, I'd better-"

"Don't be silly, I never said you weren't Ianto. On the contrary, I'm quite sure you're him now" Jack told him, taking his hands between his own. "I just… Can't wrap my mind around the fact that you're back. It's…"

"Sad? Unwanted? Uncalled f-"

"Amazing, Ianto. Utterly unbelievable." Jack interrupted Ianto's babbling. "I- I really don't know if there's a proper way to show you how happy I am that you're my Ianto and that you're back to me… I'm so happy that I don't really know what to do."

"You could always kiss me." Ianto stated with fake nonchalance. "I wouldn't mind that"

Jack eventually burst out laughing as he took Ianto in his arms and hugged him close. "My god, I missed you, Ian. You have no idea how much."

Ianto, even though he was extremely happy by Jack's confession and his hug, was at a loss of words. Proper etiquette would have him saying that he had missed Jack too, but truth was that, despite all the videos and the fog dissipating, his memory was still empty. The only thing he had was this knowledge, deep inside himself, that he was supposed to be with the man currently hugging him and nothing else.

Until few minutes before, there had been also the strange daze he kept falling into whenever he was near Jack, but now that it was gone… He had to admit to feel quite empty and lost, even though maybe it had only finished its purpose.

Wait. A. Minute.

"Jack?" Ianto called, getting closer to Jack. "What if the daze was only a way to make me recognize you, so that as soon as we crossed paths I could know who could lead me to my past?"

"It's reasonable" Jack admitted, trying to make Ianto's hypothesis work with the current events. "Still you're taking for granted that someone put such a 'spell' on you"

"You're right" Ianto admitted crestfallen. "Still there was something that's clearly not in my head anymore… Who could have such power? Hypothetically."

"The Doctor for one… However, with the right equipment it's not something totally unheard of, not even in this time. I guess we might be able to find something alien to borrow from UNIT to analyse this thing further if you feel like it"

"What's UNIT?" Ianto asked innocently, leaving Jack speechless for a moment.

"Oh gods, I almost forgot you're still amnesiac… And why aren't you asking about the Doctor but only about UNIT?"

Ianto stared at Jack, trying to find an answer to that question in his head, but he simply could find none. It was like something told him that it didn't matter if he didn't know who the Doctor was, a sensation that apparently didn't extend to this UNIT thing.

It was just like what he felt about Jack, the same instinct that made him focus on his lover rather than his family, just working in the opposite direction.

"I… don't know. It feels like it's not important who he is."

"So you at least know that we're talking about a specific male person and just not about a random doctor" Jack keep on, gluing his eyes on Ianto and grabbing him by his shoulders. "How do you know it?"

"Jack… You're scaring me" Ianto managed to say, making Jack put some space between the two of them as he realized what he was doing.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you"

"It's fine…" Ianto told him, hoping to still be in time to bring Jack back on the tracks he wanted. "Still, there's nothing we can do now, isn't it?"

"No. Still, I think we should now wait and see if, now that the haze has lifted, you will gain your memory back. You didn't really remember much up until now, didn't you?"

"Well, whatever thing crossed my mind has been like seeing a movie or a dream truth to be told, not much felt real except something about you."

"This keeps getting weirder" Jack sighed, resting his elbows on his legs and just staring down at the floor. "It really feels like I'm the centre of everything you remember or want… It's not healthy. Now we also have this thing about the Doctor to add to the mix and I don't know what to make of it."

"Maybe it's just the proof that he's or he's not behind this… Or simply it's just the beginning of me remembering again."

"You don't really remember him Ianto, and that thing about me could still be addiction…" Jack explained, yawning tiredly as discomfort dawned on him. "And then, however, we should see if it's normal or induced by someone..."

"Someone?"

"Someone toying with you before we met for example, so that you need to kiss me regularly"

Jack's suggestion was logical, Ianto had to admit, and the fact that he hadn't thought about it himself before Jack pointed it out made him realize why his lover kept himself suspicious about his whereabouts. With the work they did in the past, they couldn't allow any chances, it was really awkward that, amnesiac or not, the haze hadn't make him realize such an easy truth.

Things weren't going to head the proper way if they kept the stalemate going, somehow he was sure of it. This made him reach only one conclusion: his bloody amnesia had to go and the key, he bet, was Jack Harkness.

"Who would benefit from this?" Ianto asked eventually.

"It could be a way to get you near me and then use you against me" Jack offered randomly. "You not bothering about who the Doctor is could mean that we're talking about one of his enemies..."

"Now, that's absolutely random, not taking in to account that I do mind the consequences" Ianto countered, feeling that Jack's hypothesis was quite far from a real possibility.

"Consequences?"

"Yep. To test your theory I should go back not kissing you and I don't want that"

"I thought the haze lifted" Jack questioned worriedly.

"Oh, it has." Ianto reassured him. "Now the point is not me needing to kiss you, but me wanting to kiss you. I still think you're bloody handsome. And dashing"

"Oh, so you liked what you tasted" Jack teased, intrigued by the change in terms. If Ianto was back to his old self, amnesiac or not, things could finally turn out for the best between them.

"Immensely" Ianto said, sitting himself closer to where Jack was. "Moreover, you said that you wanted to be proper with me, since the first time we mixed the bases… Well, we already met, been together a few times as friends, and now I just kissed you. Guess what comes next."

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Jack asked amused, staring at Ianto's smirk.

"You bet I am"Ianto confirmed with a smart smirk on his lips. "You said there are no more tests for me, are you free?"

"When?"

"Right now"

"Bring it on, Ianto Jones."

Ianto smirked widely and stood up from the sofa, grabbing quickly Jack's wrist to drag him outside the hub. Somehow, Jack couldn't wait to see what Ianto would take out from his hat when faced with dating another man for the first time. This amnesia thing could turn out to be way more interesting than he had initially though.

T.B.C.