Chapter 5

"Esme's making eyes at me," Carlisle says as we make our way to the park on Saturday. "I'm going to bring her over to my dark side eventually."

"That's … not creepy at all," reply, giggling.

"The older ones are always firecrackers in bed, Bells. I love me some cougar." His eyes glaze over as he speaks. It's completely gross, but whatever floats his boat, I suppose.

"I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, then." I shrug and pick at the lint on my sweater.

"Hey, he hasn't been … entertaining anyone in a while. Esme says he has his eye on someone else, though. He's over that chick he was seeing." At his words, my ears perk up.

Part of me hopes the someone else is me, but the other part of me is scared.

Heather perks up too. Poor thing hasn't gotten any attention in a few days.

"That's good, I guess," I tell him frankly, and I mean it. I wish no ill will toward Edward. I've gotten to know him in the last week and I can admit I was very wrong with the first impression I had of him.

We change the subject and discuss the other stuff going on in his building. Carlisle is always good for a good laugh and distraction.

Unfortunately though, Saturday night brings an unwanted reminder that I'm a bad judge of character when I'm woken, once again, by the shrill screaming of a woman either a) being pounded into ecstasy or b) murdered.

I'm fuming.

This means that Edward either lied to me when he told me his girlfriend had broken up with him or he's found a new flavor already. I don't know why this upsets me so, except well, maybe the fact that I'm pissed he didn't ask me out after all the time we've been spending together.

I throw on a sweater to cover my braless breasts, put on my Crocs and head out of my building and next door. I don't know what I'm hoping to accomplish, but it's 2 a.m. and I'm furious. I am seriously going to cut a bitch … or his cock off.

I know Carlisle hasn't fixed the broken security door so getting into the building is no problem. I don't even bother waiting for the elevator, I just pound my way up the numerous flights of stairs until I find myself out front of Unit 6509. I can hear the screaming and moaning louder now, how his neighbors don't make noise complaints is beyond me. Maybe they are all perverts and jerking off to their noises.

Heather reminds me that this would be a good idea. Traitor.

I start pounding on the door, hitting it so hard the side of my hand turns red and starts to ache. I'm just about to pound again when the noise abruptly stops and the door flings open. I stumble forward and Edward catches me. He's bare chested, and man what a chest it is. He steadies me with his hands, the warmth of them sinking deep into my skin.

"Bella?" he questions. He has the gall to look surprised to see me.

I shoot him a glare, trying to keep my eyes on his face and not his chiseled chest or the colorful ink running down his arms. I want to simultaneously slap him and lick his abs.

"You would think," I hiss, "That after what happened this week, you would have enough respect for me to keep your sex noises to yourself. Gag her ... Stick your cock in her mouth. I don't care, but shut. Her. The. Fuck. UP!" I'm screeching by the end and-once again-poking him in the chest.

His ears turn red, like he's embarrassed, like he has anything to be embarrassed about from the sounds she's been making.

I turn to walk away, but he stops me. "Wait, it's not what you think."

I give him a bitch brow.

He licks his lips, looking me up and down. The way his eyes darken makes my skin prickle.

"No, really, come on. I'll, um, I'll show you." He nods toward the hall, inviting me inside his apartment.

Against my better judgement, he proceeds to lead me into his bedroom and I can see the bed-the place where the magic happens-is empty.

Heather starts .

I notice the T.V is on, but paused. On the screen is … oh, now I get his embarrassment.

"You're watching porn?" I glare at him, my eyes going from the screen to him, and back..

He shrugs, looking sheepish. "Yeah, I um, after I met you and you went off on me, I just couldn't get you out of my mind. When I saw you in the window and now all this week … spending time with you ... I had to think of something to get you to come to me." He motions to the T.V., "This was the only thing I could think of."

"Edward, I-" My words are cut off when Edward closes the distance between us and runs a finger down my cheek then wraps his large hand around the back of my neck, threading his long digits through my hair.

My breathing hitches and Heather twitches.

I don't know whether to be pissed he dragged me out of bed at 2 a.m. or turned on that he wanted me to come here.

"I can't get you out of my head, Bella." His fingers skim my pulse point so softly, my skin breaks out in goosebumps.

"I … I …" I have no words.

"Tell me it's not just me, beautiful." His words are soft, his eyes pleading.

"It's not," I tell him honestly. "But I can't, Edward. I just …"

He nods and takes his hand off of me before taking a step back. "It's okay. I get it." He sounds hurt and that's not what I want.

"No, you don't … I want you, trust me, I do … but I need to think about it." I cross my arms over my chest and rub my arms, feeling cold as if Edward's warmth was what was keeping me from shivering. "It's complicated, Edward. I mean, one week I hate you because you keep me awake at night. I'm completely grossed out by the sex toys you keep on your windowsill." I look over at the window in question. "Thanks for putting it away, by the way."

"That wasn't mine," he interrupts. "It was hers … I threw it out."

I nod. "Whatever. It was gross. All of it. I don't know what I'm supposed to think."

He takes a deep breath. "I get it, Bella. It's fine," he says between clenched teeth. "I'll keep it professional, don't worry." His eyes go hard and something in me relents. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to push him away completely. This is my issue and I need to work it out.

I take a step toward him and put a hand on his chest, over his heart. "I have … things I'm working on. Don't let me push you away. Please."

He looks into my eyes and nods slowly. "Okay. I'll be here when you're ready."

I press a kiss to his collarbone and let him pull me into a hug. It's such an odd development between us, something I never thought would ever happen.

We stand in his room for lord knows how long, holding each other before I end up going home and crying myself to sleep.

In the morning, with puffy eyes and a new sense of determination, I shower and give a quick call to Alice. It's Sunday and she's not at the office, but I need to talk to her anyway.