Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to any Miyazaki Hayao masterpieces. Shirow Masamune is a genius. My IQ is slightly lower. Shirow Masamune owns the intellectual rights to GITS. Again, I fall short. Bandai and Production IG own rights to the anime, and Kodansha/VIZ own Manga rights. I also fail to own any rights to these. That makes me a financial…loser. And you…a literary winner. Please enjoy this free fanfic update based upon their characters.
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Ah, Hell. If you're reading this, I'm obviously not in a position to stop you. Do me a favor; don't crease the corner of the page if you decide to put it down for a while. I didn't crease the pages when I was writing this thing...please respect my wishes. Also, if Togusa is still around, tell him that I finally figured out what his haircut reminds me of.
Entry 81:
Today is…grey. No, not the right word. As I sit here in mediocrity, the shadows of the buildings we pass reflected in my soul, I wonder what my life is heading towards. Looking out at the brilliant blue of the sky, small marshmallow clouds floating across, I don't see a future.
Today is…indifferent. Yes, that's better, I guess. Section 9 has been back together for over a month. Let me rephrase. I'm so 'blah' today that I almost don't care that I'm saying things incorrectly. Section 9 has OFFICIALLY been back together a month. And what a month. First we stormed in and took back a group of the hostages, as a secret ops team with no name.
Then we were assigned this job of babysitting. I hate babies. Especially fully grown ones. Well, that's not entirely true either. Once I thought it might be interesting to have a child…someday. When I learned that I would never have that option…I wanted one dreadfully. I wanted the ability to create a new being, a demi-clone of myself and the sperm donor, whomever he was to be. However, that option is out and I take on sister-figure roles to my team. So, again…I HATE babies. Especially good-looking adult ones.
Who am I fooling? If I'm not allowed to do the job I was designed for, than I don't mind following the PM around everywhere she goes. She's intimidated by me. I can tell by the way she cuts her eyes over to look at me when she doesn't think I'm watching. She looks at me almost as if she's checking me out. However, I recognize what it really is. She's wondering if women give up something by becoming machines. I would have to tell her they do. Am I still a woman? Was I ever really a woman? Does it matter? I'm a ghost. Not actually living, not dead either. I float around between reality on earth and reality on net. It's much like being stuck between body and spirit and never able to actually transition. So, why does this ghost sit beside the PM, babysitting? Because the chances of me actually 'ghosting out' are slim, and I'd rather not live with the preventable death of a good politician in my head.
So, there she sits, looking at me. I'm a rock. She moves with the car, small fleshy parts shifting as we round corners. I don't. We take a corner, everything stays exactly where it is. Gravity doesn't affect this body. Time doesn't affect this skin. The woman beside me has gained one wrinkle and three new grey hairs since I started sitting beside her. I won't. I have seen more in my cyborg life than she's been alive to see, grey hair not withstanding. Time only affects my memories, skewing them slightly with outlook changes, like the sepia tint that comes to black and white from silver oxidation. Once I looked through eyes un-tinted by war. Now I look with eyes that can understand terrorism against a political party's decision…even if I don't agree with it.
The car is slowing down, and my mental capacities are sharpening as the net chatter picks up. The woman beside me asks if we're ready. I give her an affirmative response, a professional smile, and pull out my gun before opening the door. It's back to work, and musings will have to wait for the long drive back.
Chapter 82:
It's restless at camp. I once read a story about two boys who had decided to spend the night in the woods. Every small sound made them jump, causing them to be too haggard and grumpy to enjoy the beautiful sunrise the next morning. That's the way I feel our team has been. We've been looking for the rest of the members of the individual eleven so hard that we might be missing the big picture.
I would like to talk with Batou about my concerns, but he's been acting rather strangely lately. I'm not sure I understand what's going on with him, but our cyber chat time has become more accusation than free debate and I'm dealing with enough of that with the chief. Aramaki may not be saying anything publicly, but we both feel the effects of this new assignment. I wonder why we're wasting our time and he's worried about something he's not ready to discuss. That leaves our conversations short and unproductive, like coming this close to completion and having someone walk into the room.
Chapter 83:
I actually got to have a little fun today. Sometimes my job really is enjoyable. We've been doing extensive research, and we just started incorporating the fractured Boolean logic the tachi's have developed to follow fractal patterns towards a logical conclusion. The Tachikomas have become fully integrated with each other, almost like a collective. Now that I understand their illogic, they don't bother me. However, the rest of the team does not agree. The tachi's have learned how to dive in and out of cyber-channels, including those that we're speaking on. I won't divulge who taught them that trick, but it's pretty useful. The tachi's, being the emotional equivalent of about eight, employ this tactic to 'walk' into private conversations and blatantly interrupt with their own comments.
Twice today, Ishikawa threatened to strip their AI cards out if they didn't leave him alone. Although I didn't see it, apparently it was done for the enjoyment of the rest. Hearing obvious sounds of distress, I ran down the hall and whipped into the room, gun in hand, to find Batou and Boma chuckling heartily and Togusa on the floor with tears in his eyes. He looked up at me, face turning red, and howled. Apparently one of the blue devils jumped into Ishikawa's screen and did a wild imitation of some dance called the "Macarena." Given that he was so angry I could almost see the steam, I decided enough was enough and walked down to the tech room to discuss proper 'serious business' etiquette with the komas.
Once everything got back to business again, we found it, that proverbial needle. Tsutomu Tadokoro was part of a small cyborg systems company that later became CIS. What a wonderful connection, guess that means I get to wear my zoot suit again tomorrow.
Chapter 84:
Today was one of those days. Rotten waxed Asian pear comes to mind. It looks good until you bite into it and find the wax is the only thing holding the rotten fruit together.
I love zoot suit days. On my 'cool' meter, dressing in optic camouflage and hacking into a high-security facility is somewhere between nitrox diving and Saito's newest sniper weapon. It's the thrill of possibly getting caught, knowing that no amount of political leverage would save my electronically enhanced ass. The kids wanted to come out and play, so I brought them with me. They've made another iteration on their Boolean systems, they call it fractal'd boo. Now, they're the mental age of a teenager. I wanted to see what they could do. If they'd gotten as good as they'd bragged they were, we'd have one hell of an ace up our sleeve. If not, well I could still handle it solo.
They actually lived up to their expectations. Don't ask me to go into the conversation that resulted from that compliment. I have no real interest in learning how they used 'fractal'd boo' to figure out their margin of success, and their explanation only caused me to desire a heavy nano-tranquilizer. All that aside, they successfully broke down all seventeen layers of i-security and quickly distracted the overseer long enough to allow me to complete the physical hack.
What was that earlier? Oh yeah…wax. This is about the time in which I picked up the fruit. I should have squeezed it first, just to check; but I was feeling a little cocky. Cracking THE Central Intelligence Systems can do that to a girl. We needed answers, that's why I was in the building, wearing my favorite clothing. The CIS had the information we needed in order to figure out who was behind the sudden bombing spree. It didn't have the feel of the individual eleven, but it was no less threatening. Armed with my unique sidekicks, we headed into the core to find what was there.
The answer was actually a who; and what that who had to say, made me re-evaluate my game plan on everything. It was that first bite in which the fruit doesn't slide into your mouth, crisp and sweet. It oozes with a sour rotten sliminess. I was in such disbelief of what I was hearing that I almost waited too long to heed the koma's warnings that I was in danger of exposure. I can't allow myself to become that unguarded again. If I'd divulged my information two seconds later, Togusa would have died. I am bothered that my absentmindedness could have yielded such an outcome.
Chapter 85This morning was filled with tense meetings and large decisions; the kind of decisions that a single person shouldn't make. Aramaki and I hashed out some of the logistics of the decisions in front of us. Then we decided we were ready. Just before lunch, I informed the rest of the team we were going to be having a business lunch. Togusa grimaced and I had to smile. Batou informed me of Togusa's recent experience with nano-food. Sure it tastes like cardboard to him, but the nanobots in it cause our bodies to interpret it as flavorful. Walking up to him, I crossed my hands over my chest. "You've worked with us for eight years, and two days ago was your first experience with nano-food. Don't worry, the Chief's ordering yours right now." Chagrinned, he sat down and quit talking for almost four minutes.
Over various types of food, we discussed the implications of an entire immigrant population being turned against the land that has given them an opportunity to start over. War's not fair and we were the victors. We gave them a chance to start over, they can't expect to be treated as equals. Only Americans try to do that, and look at the current state of their affairs. With the newly gained knowledge that 'terrorist' just became any Asian person, we're now facing a serious personnel shortage in Sector 9.
After a long debate, the team finally agreed that we needed to be a little larger. The Chief said he'd start looking for potential candidates and to give him a couple of days. With that almost impish gleam in his eye, he said not to worry; he had plenty for us to do over the next few days.
Chapter 86We spent today doing drills in the downtown district. After the fiasco with the ghosted Fuchikoma, Aramaki said we had several critical weaknesses. The Tachikomas took the Chief's comments to heart and worked out a strategy. Then they badgered the Chief until he told them they could do mock drills on the first slow day. Today definitely qualified as a slow day.
Batou and Togusa took up corners, observing and distracting, while I scouted on ahead. I was the target and the Tachikomas did a fairly good job keeping up. The three of us agreed that we would use today as an opportunity to develop a training exercise for the newbies. We don't have a lot of time to work with them, so we need a quick way to sort qualified candidates from those that will hinder us. By the end of the exercise, Batou, Togusa and myself had put together a solid strategy for testing the teams.
The Chief and I had a slight disagreement about the teams he's putting together. He's been looking only at enhanced humans or full cyborgs. I told him we could use a few more humans. He actually glared at me. Then he turned to look out the window. "So, you're going to become a group of high-tech babysitters to a team of humans now?" I couldn't believe he said that. I told him that they'd have to grow up sometime, and that they would get with the program or get out. His response bothered me. He turned, putting his hands in his pockets, and leaned forward. "Just like you've let Togusa sink or swim."
Damn him. We need the non-linear thinking of pure human, but he's correct. If we had only humans added to the team, we'd feel obligated to protect them from the scum we run down. I told him to recruit as he saw fit and walked out.
Chapter 87It's strange, but I think I saw a ghost today. How funny, a ghost saw a ghost. One second I was running from the guys during the mockup of an invasive strike, the next I was standing in an empty alleyway that had no connection to my physical location. I'd always blown off the rumors that the third-market sector was filled with unsettled spirits. Today made me re-evaluate the validity. Turning and going back around the corner, I was once again where I should have been. When I retraced my steps, the vision was gone.
I called Alice and asked if she could meet me for lunch on Sunday. She agreed and I know what she's thinking, but she's got to realize by now that I'm no fun when in business mode. Until this terrorist issue is resolved, I can't set aside my job. Aramaki said the first set of recruits would be here tomorrow. He informed us this morning that there were nine groups and we'd test in sets of three. Togusa's already complaining that the tests are too difficult, but we're not playing games. This newest threat is a serious issue. He's crazy if he thinks we can hire children and expect them to 'come up to speed' at their leisure. They need to be able to jump right in and do the job. If not, we're going to be scraping corpses off the engagement field.
Chapter 88Damn Batou and his decision to work near the third-market sector. I spent the entire day looking over my shoulder. I wonder what's causing my ghost to jump so badly. My body has no predisposition towards nerviness. The first team was a total wash. Two short turns and the entire group was standing around looking about as comfortable as a veterinarian at a quantum physics convention.
Teams two and three were not much better and we were done by lunch, so Aramaki put us on paper-detail. In a world controlled by network, I'm occasionally amazed by the amount of paperwork required to keep a secret government agency running. Just like the Americans, we have our own Sarbanes-Oxley records retention laws. I can't speak for the Americans but the government sector requires us to keep case documentation for the life of the perpetrator plus twenty years. It's giving us a greater incentive to kill the sons of bitches, just so we can eventually throw some of these damn records away. Since we work with cyborgs and androids, these records could be kept forever. Last year, when the special ops team came in to wipe us out, they also took out two of our records rooms. Although there were no remissions levied against that team for destroying over ten billion yen worth of government property, the head official of that mission ended up in prison for destroying records. Sometimes we have to laugh at the folly of the government we work for. Personally, I'm glad the documents were destroyed. They were from five years ago, and we've been able to turn those two storage rooms into nice training facilities.
Chapter 89Yawn Oh wait, did I say that out loud? Seriously, these plebes are horribly inadequate for our needs. Ignoring that slither that crawled up my back all day, I intentionally avoided third-market. I can't explain it, but something is drawing me. I'm eventually going to have to face it.
Today I took the possible recruits on a nice scenic trip through downtown. That included a nice trip through the fish markets, a trip through a first rate lingerie shop, and the park. I probably should have done the fish market last, because I garnered strange looks at the lingerie shop; but it also could have been because of the three menacing men that very obtrusively followed me in and back out. The park was my favorite. They got side-tracked by a small disturbance on the path behind me, and while they were paying attention to the two college students arguing about proper dating protocol, I jumped into a tree and sat and watched as they searched frantically for their target.
Batou called me back in a few minutes later, asking me why I'd chosen to deviate from our pre-constructed game plan. I told him that terrorists also picked very public places to do bad things and the teams needed to be prepared for any situation. When I arrived, he looked at me strangely, but I ignored him. Later, over a beer, he told me I was acting weird. I informed him that I wouldn't deviate tomorrow and that seemed to slightly appease him. I wish he'd go in for a tune-up, he's an emotional wreck right now.
Chapter 90So today while we were testing the last team of hopefuls, I took a short stroll and fell through the rabbit hole. I once watched a movie in which a little girl stepped through a dimension and found herself in a world of spirits. Today I became Miyazaki's Chihiro. Wow, that's twice recently in which life imitates art. I can't explain it any other way except to say it is completely unexplainable. Although I told Batou I would stick with the game plan today, I can't explain what made me suddenly turn and head in the one direction I've avoided all week. I can't begin to fathom how a ball suddenly caused my ghost to hum. I can certainly not explain the brain hack that caused the illusions. All I can say is that it happened.
When I got back to the station, Batou was extremely cold. My refusal to explain my disappearance hurt him; but the answers would have been worse. He worries too much, it's a bad habit. I can't say the feelings aren't reciprocated, but he's beginning to reach an unhealthy level of concern. The two of us have been friends for a very long time, and he should realize that we both have things which concern only ourselves. Tomorrow is Sunday, Alice agreed to meet me for lunch near the pier at third-market. I'm going to chase this ghost until I can catch it and lay it to rest, but it'll be nice to have some friendly company before I set out on that campaign.
A/N: Ah, patience…what a virtue. Thank you to all of you who read this fic and have been patient with me. Full-time job and full-time grad school full-time insanity. Please continue to be patient with me, and I will update as my schedule and my muse allows. -TK
