MOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!11! Oh,wow. I haven't updated in in a while. Jesus. I have to at least get out a chapter of 'A Typical Day'
One day I am going to write out more of a thing. People, please feel free to take anything I write and go with it, because I am a shitty inconsistent writer and you cannot expect more from me. Also, the god in question is Anasi, specifically from "Anasi's Boys' by Niel Gaimen. But it doesn't matter because I don't get into it.
Peter had never been a mischievous child.
Given how much of a smartass he was, such a statement almost defied belief. To be sure, had any one of his villains taken the time to think about such a thing, rather than constantly going on about how they would 'squashing him like a bug', they might have thought that he would a hellraiser of a child at the very least. Even his once classmates had, on the occasion, been curious as to why he wasn't more of a class clown. But the fact of the matter was that Peter took things that he thought were serious seriously.
Being well behaved for his Aunt and Uncle: serious. Getting good grades in school: serious. Being an awesome friend to the few he had had: serious. Doing science: serious. Saving lives: serious. Fighting brightly-colored costume wearing bad guys in spider themed spandex: sometimes the ridiculousness of it was as exhilarating as the fights.
Some of the other heroes found his joking annoying. They would say he was immature, and generally treated him like he was a C-rate hanger-on. C-rate! Peter had never gotten a C in his life. Just because his villains had a tendency to develop personally vendettas against him so that half the time his demise was somehow incorporated into their plans didn't mean they weren't tough. Okay, the Shocker wasn't, and the Rhino and Hammerhead looked ridiculous, also the Vulture, and the Scorpion, and… well most of them looked a little outlandish, but it's not like he had a hand in their costume design. And he didn't even get to pick his own name, so the fact that theirs were all purely descriptive phrases was nowhere near his fault.
The point was that Spiderman had very few hero friends. Well, technically he had only one hero acquaintance in the form of Dr. Strange. Wolverine was more of an anti-hero, also an asshole, and Deadpool was an assassin most of the time.
Except that wasn't the point.
The original point was that Peter was a very well behaved person when he wasn't taken over by an alien symbiote or beating up the badly dresses and morally compromised.
Wait…no, the first point was the correct one.
Spiderman had no friends, the largest newspaper in New York regularly slandered him, and he was not exactly on the best side of the NYPD. So when the trickster god brother of Thor, who regular appeared to fuck everyone's day, showed up calling him Nancy and acting like his best buddy in front of witnesses, that's all that was needed to put him on the New York's shit list. Or more importantly, on S.H.I.E.L.D's, and thus, the Avenger's shit list.
So on one hand: basically no more being Spiderman in public, which kind of removed his niche at the Daily Bugle, which lost him his only stable source of income, and thus apartment. On the other hand: Peter gained a new friend who also was not a hero, found out that Dr. Strange is apparently a close enough friend to be willing to put him up for a few days, acquired a real job that he could hold down without interruptions, reaffirmed his relationship with his Aunt, and discovered that he was an incarnation of an African trickster god.
So that was a thing.
Unfortunately, he couldn't go to Thor with this, if the terrible weather plaguing the east coast was any indication, and Strange was apparently more familiar with inter-dimensional fire demons than racially confused god avatars. And yes, maybe Peter could find out about his past life by talking to someone who wasn't beating him in the listings for most reviled New York menace...
But what would be the fun in that?
