Chapter 10 – (Trying to) Resist the urges
Light coming through the window is what wakes Santana up from her peaceful slumber. She opens her eyes slowly, trying to adjust to the light in the room, and a smile instantly takes over her face. A head of silky blonde hair is lying on her shoulder and one soft arm is around her waist, holding her close.
Santana looks at Brittany lovingly and strokes her hair softly, sighing contentedly as she does so. Her heart starts beating faster as she recalls the events from last night. The way Brittany kissed her in the middle of her outburst, the way they touched each other's bodies like they knew them since forever, the way they held each other securely…
She's broken out from her thoughts by the blonde in her arms starting to stir. Brittany opens her eyes slowly and looks at her surroundings, her eyes widen and her mouth falls open when she notices the body she's laying on. "So it wasn't a dream." She says quietly, the events from last night rushing back at her.
"Um… no." Santana says cautiously, trying to read the blonde and see what she's feeling, but not succeeding. Brittany sighs as she untangles herself from the Latina and gets up from the bed, covering her body with the bed sheet. "Was that a good sigh or a bad sigh?" The Latina asks, afraid of what the answer might be, as she covers herself with the duvet.
"Honestly… I don't know. I just…" Brittany trails off, having no idea of what she wants to say or even of what she feels right now.
"Do you regret it?" Santana asks in a small voice as she looks at the blonde with sad eyes.
"No San, it's not that." Brittany takes a deep breath and looks at Santana seriously. "We should get dressed first." And with that the blonde walks out of the Latina's room and goes to her own.
Santana gets up with a sigh and walks towards her wardrobe to fetch some clothes. She puts on some jeans and a red tank top, combs her hair, leaving it loose and then walks out of the room. She sees Brittany sitting on the couch, fiddling with her fingers nervously, and approaches her cautiously, taking a seat beside her but leaving some space between them.
Brittany looks up when she feels Santana beside her and, instantly, her eyes lock with sad brown ones. "I don't regret it San." She says softly and, by looking at her eyes, Santana knows she's telling the truth. "I just… last night… I forgot…" She takes a deep breath and continues in a mere whisper. "I forgot about Jason."
And it's just then that it hits Santana. She had sex with her brother's girlfriend. She betrayed her brother. She didn't even think about him last night, much like Brittany, she just did what her heart told her to. "Jason… I betrayed him. How could I do this to him? He's my brother and now he's gonna hate me. What am I gonna do?" Santana says desperately as she buries her face in her hands as a few tears start running down her face. "I'm a horrible person."
Brittany moves closer to Santana and pulls her into a comforting embrace. "You're not a horrible person San." She says softly as she strokes the Latina's back soothingly. "It was wrong what we did, and I feel bad for it because Jason is an amazing guy and he didn't deserve this, but… you followed your heart… just like I followed mine." And at these last few words Santana looks up at the blonde in surprise, not knowing if she heard her right. "I like you Santana." She says with nothing but sincerity in her voice, a small smile playing at her lips. "I liked you since the moment I saw you for the first time, since you saved me from that guy at the bar, and when I saw you again three months later I realized that I never stopped liking you." She confesses and a small smile appears on Santana's face. "But…" She continues and the Latina's face falls immediately. "I don't want to hurt Jason."
"I understand." Santana says quietly as she looks down at her hands. "I don't want to hurt him either so I'll keep my distance." She says sadly and Brittany quickly shakes her head and puts her hand on Santana's chin, making her look at her.
"No San, that's not what I want. If I stay with Jason I'll be hurting him more because I can't give him what he wants, because I can't like him the way I like you and he deserves someone who can give him that. I just meant that we can't do this again until he gets back." Brittany explains and takes the Latina's hands in her own. "I want to be with you San… but after I've sorted everything out with Jason." She says lovingly.
"I want to be with you too. And you're right we should wait until Jason is back. No more kissing, no more of… what happened last night." Her cheeks turn a little pink at that last part. "Just friends." She concludes with a small smile on her face, but then it disappears just as quickly and it's replaced by a sad look. "I just don't want to hurt Jason, but I know he will be hurt and I feel bad about it because I'm the cause of it and I shouldn't be because I'm his sister. I shouldn't cause him pain, I should protect him, and now I'm doing this to him." She sighs while shaking her head. "If that doesn't make me a bad person than what does?"
"You're not a bad person San, stop saying that about yourself okay?" Brittany says seriously, giving the Latina's hand a reassuring squeeze. "You can't choose who you like." She says simply and smiles lovingly at Santana, who returns it. "Now let's get up from this couch and take a walk in the park, because it's lovely outside." She says with a smile on her face as she gets up and holds out her hand for Santana to take, which she does.
They walk side by side through the park in a comfortable silence, watching the people around them and sometimes stealing glances at one another, blushing every time they get caught.
They sit down on a bench where they can see the duck pond just a few feet away from them and Santana smiles lovingly at noticing Brittany's happy face. The blonde watches the ducks swim around and just that makes her face light up, oblivious to the fact that the girl beside her is staring at her adoringly. She squeals excitedly when she notices a little duck getting out of the pond and walking towards them on its little paws, and Santana can't help the giggle that leaves her mouth.
Brittany looks at the Latina shyly, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "I really like ducks." She says sheepishly as she puts a piece of her hair behind her ear and watches the little duck walk back to the pond to, what she thinks, it's its family with a piece of bread in its little beak.
"I can tell." Santana chuckles and the blonde blushes even more. "You don't need to be embarrassed Britt. I actually think it's cute." She confesses softly and puts her hand on top of Brittany's.
The blonde looks at their hands surprised and it's then that Santana remembers they're supposed to be just friends. She's about to pull her hand away when Brittany intertwines their fingers together. Santana looks at her questioningly and the blonde gives her a sheepish smile in return. "Friends hold hands." Brittany says as she looks back at the ducks and Santana smiles at her.
"So how's the little peanut?" Santana asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence between them.
"What?" Brittany asks confused, her nose scrunching up a little.
"The baby Brittany." Santana clarifies, chuckling a little at the blonde's adorable expression.
"Oh right. Um… the baby's good. It's growing fast as you can see." Brittany says a little nervously and puts her hand on her small baby bump, caressing it softly over her white t-shirt.
"You're still the most beautiful girl in the world." Santana says with nothing but sincerity in her voice, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink as she realizes what she just said. She clears her throat a little awkwardly and looks away from that beautiful blue eyes. "You're almost four months, right?"
"Yeah. I have a doctor's appointment next week."
"That's great." Santana says with a smile on her face. "I can go with you. I mean… if y-you want of course." She stutters a little nervously.
"I would love to." Brittany replies with a wide smile on her face, which makes Santana visibly relax and smile back at the blonde.
And that was the end of their conversation. They stayed in the park for a few more minutes just enjoying each other's company and then decided to go back to the apartment, their hands still intertwined.
"We should have a picnic on the beach." Brittany says with excitement as she turns on the couch to look at the Latina.
"A picnic?" Santana asks, not so thrilled at the idea.
"Yes. It will be awesome San. Come on… Please…" Brittany pouts at her and gives her the cutest puppy dog eyes.
Santana, at seeing the sight in front of her, already knows what her answer is going to be. "Fine. Let's go."
"Yay. You're the best San." She says happily and hugs Santana without thinking. She smells the sweet scent of coconuts and nuzzles her nose on the Latina's neck. Santana gasps at the unexpected contact and pulls away slowly, locking eyes with Brittany. Their faces mere inches apart, their breaths mingling and their eyes having a battle of their own, glancing at each other's lips and going back at their eyes once again.
They can feel the tension and the want between one another, but they know that they can't give in, so they pull away begrudgingly. "Uh… I'm gonna prepare the food." Santana says and walks towards the kitchen quickly.
This is gonna be so much difficult than what I thought it would, Brittany thinks to herself as she turns around and goes to her room to change into her bikini.
They arrive at the beach awhile later with the basket for their picnic in Santana's hand. They take their shoes off and walk on the sand until they find the perfect spot. They spread the blanket on the sand and sit down on it, taking the food out of the basket.
They joke around and talk about everything that comes to their minds while eating. Sometimes Santana loses herself on Brittany's eyes and the way her face lights up every time she talks about something she really loves.
They clean everything up after eating and Santana stands up to take her red tank top off, oblivious to the fact that the blonde is staring at her with her eyes filled with desire. Brittany stands up and undresses herself as well and this time it's Santana who stares. She looks at the blonde's body, entranced by it and wishing she could touch it and… she cuts herself off and shakes her head to push her thoughts away.
"Can you put sunscreen on my back San?" Brittany asks innocently as she hands the Latina the sunscreen and turns her back to her. Santana gulps, her throat completely dry, and takes the sunscreen from the blonde's hand nervously. She pours some of it on her hand and starts spreading it on Brittany's smooth skin. The dancer gasps at the contact and does everything she can to hold back a moan. She feels Santana's hands caressing her back and the way she's turning her on just by touching her, so she decides to pull away from her, not wanting things to get heated. "Thanks." She says a little shyly, her body now on fire.
"Do you wanna go for a swim?" Santana asks, her voice a little husky due to the dryness on her throat. She needs something to cool herself down and she needs it now.
"Sure. Race ya there." Brittany says and takes off as soon as the words leave her mouth.
"That's cheating." Santana says loudly and takes off after the blonde. "Holy shit, it's freezing." She says when her feet make contact with the water.
"Don't be a baby San. Come in." Brittany says through a laugh, her body already drenched and half of it underwater.
"Hell no! It's freezing." She protests, already turning around when she feels two strong arms around her waist, hoisting her up. "Brittany put me down. I swear if you-" She stops talking when she feels the blonde releasing her and she goes underwater. She resurfaces a few seconds later and glares playfully at the dancer, who has a smirk on her face. "Oh you're dead Missy." And with that she takes off in the direction of the blonde, who dodges her and is able to escape. Santana smirks at Brittany, who looks at her suspiciously, wondering what she's planning to do.
Suddenly the Latina goes underwater and Brittany looks around trying to find her, but not succeeding. "Looking for me?" It's whispered on the blonde's ear and she turns around slowly, shivers running down her spine, good shivers. Her eyes lock with brown ones and her heart starts beating like crazy at seeing how close their bodies really are. She notices Santana glancing at her lips and she can't help in looking at the Latina's plump ones too.
She starts leaning in and she can see that Santana is also coming closer and, despite knowing they shouldn't be doing this, they can't resist in connecting their lips once again. A shock of electricity, just like all the other times they kissed, runs through their bodies and Santana pulls the blonde closer, deepening the kiss. Their tongues find one another and a moan is heard. Who was it from? That is unknown. But that sound is what makes them come back to reality and pull away from one another, their breathing a little heavy.
"W-We should h-head back." Brittany says, her voice a little shaky, as she looks at the Latina, who's only able to give a nod in return. They walk back to their towels, their cheeks red like tomatoes and the kiss replaying in their minds over and over again.
I'M SO SO SO SORRY for the wait guys. I haven't been with inspiration these past week and everything that I would write wouldn't come out good so I had to rewrite this chapter over and over again, and I still don't know if it's good... but I decided to post it because you have been waiting too long for it.
Thank you so much for all your reviews, as always they're amazing and I appreciate that you guys take a little of your time to read my story and to tell me what you think of it. :)
Hope you liked this chapter. Love you all! :) Till next chapter...
P.S. Sometimes I'm too caught up on what I'm writing that I forget some details and that's what happened on the previous chapter. I wrote that Brittany was drinking wine and when I was doing it I totally forgot that she's pregnant, so I apologize to you all. I already changed my mistake and I thank all of you for pointing it out, because I probably wouldn't have seen it if it wasn't for you guys ;)
