Chapter 12 – Remembering the past, dealing with the present

"It's yours." Brittany blurts out and at that moment it seems like everything stops around them.

Santana freezes up in her spot and a weird feeling settles in her stomach. She can't think coherently right now, the only thing running through her mind is the words 'It's yours'. The baby, the one that's growing inside of Brittany, is hers. It's mine, she utters in her mind and it causes so many feelings to rise inside of her… Happiness and excitement because it's her baby. She never thought she would like to be a parent, she said to herself before that she didn't want kids, but now that she knows she's having one she can't help but feel like she's the luckiest woman in the whole world.

But it's not all sunshine, no… She is disappointed and angry too. She feels betrayed because she asked Brittany if the baby was hers before and the blonde said no. How could she lie to me?!

She chances a glance at Brittany and she can see the regret in the blonde's eyes. The regret for lying to her and only just telling her now. But that doesn't erase the fact that she lied… I have to get out of here. I need air. "I have to go." Santana says under her breath as she gets up from the couch and walks to the door.

"Santana… please, don't go." Brittany says weakly, tears already threatening to spill from her eyes.

Santana hesitates a little at seeing the sadness and hurt on the blonde's face, her hand griping the door knob tightly. "I can't Brittany… not now." She says shakily and walks out the door, closing it behind her. At the sound of the door closing the blonde breaks down and the tears she was holding back before, fall, now, freely down her face.


Santana drives around the city, trying to clear her mind from everything that happened in the last few hours, but it's impossible. Her brain doesn't want to shut down, it just keeps replaying the words 'It's yours' over and over again and it's driving the Latina insane. She needs someone to talk to and with that in mind she drives towards Quinn's apartment.

A few minutes later she's on the blonde's doorstep. She knocks three times and hears Quinn yelling 'COMING' (Wanky ;)), followed by the shuffling of feet rushing to the door. The blonde opens it and sees Santana standing there with a troubled expression on her face. "What's wrong San?"

"Can I come in?" Santana asks in a weak tone.

"Oh yeah, of course. Come in." Quinn says as she opens the door wider to let the Latina in. She closes the door behind her and leads Santana to the couch, where both take a seat. She looks at the Latina and notices how quiet she is and how she keeps staring at her hands like she's searching for something. Quinn keeps quiet knowing that Santana will tell her what's wrong when she feels like it. And that's exactly what happens.

"She lied to me." Santana says in a mere whisper, that if Quinn wasn't sitting close to her she wouldn't have heard her.

"What? Who lied to you?" Quinn asks confused.

"Brittany."

"Are you sure? Maybe you misunders-"

She's cut off by Santana getting up from the couch and yelling. "NO! I didn't misunderstand anything! She lied to me! She told me before that the baby wasn't mine, but it was lie! The baby is mine Quinn! I'm gonna be a mother and she hid that from me for 4 freaking months!" She feels the anger rising within her and it just makes her want to punch a wall.

"Wait… Brittany's baby is your baby?" Quinn asks, not sure if she heard the Latina right.

"YES!" Santana says loudly.

"Whoa, I didn't see that one coming." Quinn says under her breath and looks up at her friend, who's pacing from one end to the other. "San, stop moving. You're gonna create holes on my floor."

"This isn't the time to joke Quinn, okay?! I came here because I needed someone, but maybe I should go." Santana says and starts going towards the door when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Quinn says apologetically and adds. "You can talk to me." Santana gives her a small nod and they take their seats on the couch once again. "So what happened? How did you find out?"

"She told me." Santana says quietly and more calmly now. "We arrived home from a doctor's appointment and I was looking at the baby pictures from the ultrasound. Then I just asked her who the father is. And that's when she told me…"

"Well I kind of understand her side." Quinn says quietly after a few seconds of silence between the two.

Santana looks at the blonde incredulously and once again gets up from the couch. "Are you serious right now?! Are you saying that what she did was right?!"

"I didn't say that San. Of course what she did wasn't right but I kind of understand why she did it." Quinn says calmly.

"Enlighten me then, because I clearly don't understand why she lied to me." Santana says with a scoff and a roll of her eyes.

"Brittany got pregnant from you, a girl she met in a club and that disappeared without saying anything. Then she met Jason and they started dating. And then she finds out that the girl who got her pregnant is her boyfriend's sister." Quinn says all in one breath.

"But that doesn't change the fact that she lied to me." Santana counters, but the anger that was in her voice before, already gone.

"No, it doesn't. But that doesn't give you the right to judge her or be mad at her, because if you were in her shoes you would have done the exact same thing." Quinn says strongly and looks pointedly at the Latina, who avoids the blonde's piercing gaze by looking at the ground. Santana knows Quinn is right, she would have done the same thing Brittany did, but there's still that little doubt in her mind and questions like 'What if she lied to me about something else?' and 'How do I know she won't do it again?' keep running through her head. "You should talk to her San. Let her explain…"

"I know." Santana says in a mere whisper.

Quinn gets up from the couch and walks towards the Latina, pulling her into a comforting hug. "Everything is gonna work out San." She says soothingly.

"Thank you Quinn. I have only known you for 3 weeks and you're already the best friend I've ever had." Santana confesses, which surprises the blonde because in these short time she has known the Latina she learnt that she isn't a feelings kind of girl.

"What can I say? I'm pretty awesome." Quinn says jokingly, making Santana let out a laugh for the first time that day.


As she opens the door to the apartment she notices there's not a sound coming from anywhere, which means that Brittany is probably not home. She walks towards the living room and that's when her suspicions are proved to be wrong. The blonde's figure is sprawled out on the couch and as Santana gets closer she can see the puffy red eyes that the girl is wearing, showing that she has been crying.

Like she can sense that someone is watching her, Brittany stirs and opens her eyes slowly, trying to adjust them to the light. As her eyes focus on the figure that is in front of her she sits up abruptly and rubs the blurriness from her eyes away. "San…"

"Hey." Santana says softly and takes a seat beside the blonde on the couch.

"I'm so sorry. I know I should have told you sooner but-"

"I know. I know why you didn't tell me."

"You do?" Brittany asks surprised.

Santana nods. "You were scared."

"So you're not mad?" Brittany asks cautiously, wanting to know what the answer is but at the same time afraid of what it will be.

"I'm not gonna lie… When I left after you told me I was angry at you, I still am a little bit." She says the last part quietly and Brittany looks down with sadness visible in her face. "But I get why you did it and I would have done the same thing if I was in your shoes."

"I wanted to tell you San, that time when you asked me if it was yours I wanted to tell you the truth, but then the things you said about not wanting babies and that they make everything complicated started running through my mind and before I could stop myself… I lied to you." Brittany says ashamed, looking away from those beautiful brown eyes.

Santana knows what the blonde is talking about and she shakes her head at herself when the words she said to Brittany that day invade her mind. "I'm such a dumbass. How could I have said that?" She says more to herself than to the blonde. She turns to Brittany and takes her hands in her own, looking directly to the blonde's beautiful blue eyes. "Knowing that you're carrying my baby is the best thing that happened in all my life. I couldn't be happier. That woman a month ago that said that didn't want any kids is gone, she was living a lie. The woman standing before you is the real Santana, the one who can't put into words how happy she is to be having a baby with you." And as she says this, Santana untangles one of her hands from the blonde's and puts it carefully on Brittany's growing baby bump.

Brittany looks at the Latina adoringly, a few tears running down her cheeks. "You're the most amazing person in the whole world…" She says softly with a smile on her face. "And I promise that I will never lie to you again. No more lies… I promise." She says wholeheartedly and the Latina can see in her eyes that she's telling the truth.

"I want to tell you something." Santana says after a few seconds of just them staring at one another and smiling lovingly. "It is something about my past and I want you to know about it." Brittany smiles at her and gives her hand a reassuring squeeze. "When I was in high school I was an outcast. I had no friends and I was never invited to parties and stuff. At my junior year that all changed." She pauses and takes a deep breath, the memories filling her head. "There was this girl at my school, she was the head cheerleader, her name is Stacey. I kind of had a crush on her." She says the last part in a mere whisper that Brittany almost doesn't hear it. "One day she approached me and asked me out on a date. I was surprised and shocked because she was the head cheerleader and I was just a loser. I should have known that it was too good to be true but at the time my brain wasn't functioning so I said yes." Tears start to well up on Santana's eyes but she's able to hold them back. "A few weeks later we started dating but in secret because she said she wasn't ready to come out. And I believed her…" She says the last part with a scoff. "I was a virgin at the time and she knew it, what she didn't know is that I had a penis. But one day we were fooling around and she found out. I thought she would be disgusted by it but she was so sweet and caring that I gave myself to her." At that statement Brittany can't help the pang of jealousy that settles in her stomach. "After that I confessed my feelings for her… I told her I loved her." Santana's voice breaks at the end of this sentence and a little tear escapes from her eyes. "She didn't say anything to me, she just walked out of the room and I was left there having no idea of what happened. I was devastated and hurt. The next day when I entered school everyone was looking at me, I had no idea why. But then I heard something… Stacey told everyone at school about my condition and I was the laughing stock. I went to her and asked her why she did it and that's when my heart broke into a million pieces. She said it was all a bet and that she was supposed to make me fall in love with her so then she could break up with me and break my heart and she said that finding out about my condition was just a bonus…" She says with disgust, tears falling down freely down her face. Brittany's heart broke at the sight, so she pulled Santana into a comforting hug. "She laughed in my face and said she would never love anyone like me… a freak." She finishes, her voice shaky due to the tears running down her face.

"You're not a freak San. You're perfect." Brittany says with nothing but sincerity in her voice. "She was just a jealous bitch because she knew you were amazing and that she was nothing. Don't ever doubt yourself San." She says lovingly and she hears a chuckle leave the Latina's lips. "What?" Brittany asks amused as they pull away from the hug.

"You cursed. I never heard you curse before. It was adorable." Santana says through another chuckle as she wipes the tears on her face.

"Oh so you're mocking me Miss Lopez?" Brittany says with a mischievous look on her face and before Santana can escape she pins the Latina on the couch, straddling her lap, and starts tickling her.

"Britt-any… St-op" Santana is able to utter through her fit of laughter. Brittany continues tickling, both of them laughing hard, and Santana tries to dodge her attacks but fails miserably. Without them noticing their faces start inching closer and before they know it their eyes lock and their laughter stops. Brittany trails her eyes down the Latina's face and when she sees Santana's tongue wetting those luscious plump lips she loses all control in her body and leans forward, capturing Santana's lips with her own. A moan leaves the Latina's mouth and she puts her hands on the blonde's neck to pull her closer to her. Brittany lets her tongue tangle with Santana's and a shock of electricity shoots through both their bodies.

They are so engrossed with their passionate kiss that they don't even hear the apartment door opening and someone entering. But as soon as they hear something hitting the floor loudly they break apart hastily and turn their heads to the intruder. And that's when their hearts stop beating…


Who could that be? Any guesses? ;)

I'm so SORRY for not updating sooner but I had a huge case of writer's block and nothing that I would write seemed good... I'll try to update sooner but I can't promise you guys anything because school starts on Monday and I'll probably be able to only update on weekends.

THANK YOU ALL for your AMAZING reviews! :) I can't believe you guys still stick with me after all those pauses between chapters and all those cliffhangers ;)

Till next chapter...

P.S. Here's the chapter as promised fallinghardinyourgame :) I hope you like it! :D