Fix- Umm… in the last chapter, when Kashaku was speaking to Hateshi/Kusota… I meant to write Hitori NOT Hateshi.
Thanks to my reviewers-
AzArGuRl-lol don't die on me now!
Paprika012345- well, I won't spoil anything.
Desert Devil-chan- yeah...I'll soon write a chapter that explains everything. chapter 10 will probably be it.
CryOfTheGhost-hope you like this chapter!
Black Roses666- i agree, it is sweet...i guess.
FrAnKiEHaRrY- ah! i hate crossovers...i personally think they're really bad...i know this is random but my muscle is twitching...and it's annoying me.
Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel- well i love star wars...i just hadn't thought about the dark side and light side lmao. well yeah that was a typo, i meant to write Hitori.
YounamemeArika- lol well no, i do not have a notebook. i just sit at the computor and my fingers move on their own. i usually do not have ideas for the later parts of the story either. i just listen to music and my fingers move, werid huh?
JessYukiOnna- i hope you like this chapter! yeah i agree...riku is really good-looking.
ghostioanddaigona- don't worry. next chapter i'm hopefully going to explain things.
Chapter 9
"My Dream"
The glint in your eyes,
Gone.
The pain in your legs as you walk on,
Endlessly.
The torture of endearing
The love that has left
Nothing more but the hush of the clouds,
Silencing your tears.
Do I really remember?
All of this, this lie. Could this really be my true purpose?
Am I to stand here, awaiting my death?
My destruction?
No, I shall stand again.
I will come forth unto my life,
I shall find what it is they call destiny.
I awoke from a dream that was worse than a nightmare. It gave me sickly feeling, to remember what I had dreamt of. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled up, like a frightened cat. The world spun, my head throbbed. That nightmare, I would never want to have something like that ever flow into my mind at night. It was ghastly, horrifying. The uncertainty scared me, aren't dreams supposed to have meanings? I've heard of that. People think dreams carry messages from the subconscious, do we really have one anyway?
Should I really walk on? It is dangerous, what I'm trying to do. To rid the world of Forbidden. Why you ask? Forbidden, they are tortured souls. Lives who have no meaning, no love, no care. They are usually gifted in fighting because the wonders of finally finding a purpose. They work at their fighting, endlessly training. They put their hearts into it. Literally.
If you could open one up, a Forbidden, they're hearts are probably bleeding, with cuts and bruises. I pity them and I pity myself. I was so weak, too weak, to understand. I killed for my sake; I stabbed innocents for my sake. Just because I thought it would rid me of pain, because I thought I could have a purpose. I thought I could return to being the old me, to living a lie. Yes, my life was a lie. The nightmare I just had further proved my theory.
In my nightmare, I was alone. The air was crisp at night; I was walking down the lonely streets. The rain started to tumble down in heavy, think sheets. It drenched me; I could almost feel the coldness of the water, almost. I kept walking but I felt someone behind me. I looked back, again and again but no one was there. I started to run away, my feet slowly came down and splashed water. My breathing was heavy, I was afraid. Who was after me? I then fell, I crashed down into the hard ground in an almost slow motion. I tried to brake my fall with an arm but my elbow bent and I fell against my arm.
I didn't feel any pain but I could feel someone getting nearer to me. Their breath was almost towering over me. I got up and ran but I fell again. I looked back to at least see who was behind me. I saw the mist-like shadow that had engulfed Rosuto. It was in the shape of a human and it was coming closer. It was within 2 feet of me. It towered its head over and looked at me, lightning flashed. I gasped in fear when I saw the face, it was Kashaku. He looked sad but angry. Another flash, Rosuto looked at me, the same face when he had died. The look on his face was fear; his eyes were wide as if the mist was going to kill him again.
Another flash, Mahaku's face. He looked restless and lonely. I tried to call out to him but he closed his eyes and a single tear slid down his cheek. Then Gaara's face appeared, he had an emotionless face, like he was watching a death he could do nothing about. I was yelling at him, asking him something I couldn't remember. Then…my father's face. I cowered in fear and sunk as low to the ground as I could be. He had the same expression on his face as when he tried to kill me. I tried to crawl away but mist-like hands came down on me, my father's face was only inches apart form mine. I screamed but didn't close my eyes. Old habits are hard to break. I heard the loudest thunder crack. My heart almost exploded from fright. I could feel the rain again, I was laying on the ground blinking away the water. The faces were gone, I was thankful at first but now I was alone again.
I was alone like I always was. Anger entered my body, but so did sadness. I cried out for a companion, I wanted someone to save me from this hell. I cried loudly, and sat up. I started to run again, faster than anything does. I wanted to find someone, anyone. Even if it was my father, he would kill me and I wouldn't be alone anymore. There was no one around, not even houses. All I saw were the streetlamps, the sidewalk and the darkness. The path would never end. My suffrage would continue on, forever.
I begged for forgiveness, I wanted to be saved. I stopped running and sank to my knees. I hugged them and dug my head in, creating almost a ball. The rain kept coming down on me, it mixed with my tears. I didn't want to be lonely anymore; I wanted to be with someone. I looked up, I thought I felt someone. I started picturing myself coming. I held a face of hatred, sadness, and insanity. They were coming; I saw their short blonde hair. Their gray eyes. They scared me, I was afraid of myself. I, a Forbidden, was afraid of herself.
That was my nightmare. I now sat in my bed, shivering in fear. Would I be alone like that my whole life? Only to be killed or driven to insanity by myself? Please, I do not want that. I want to feel happiness. I want to return to a home, if I ever found one, and not be threatened by anyone. Or anything. I wanted to be able to talk to Mahaku again, and Gaara. I want to return to school and study with the other children. I didn't want to be by myself. Please, don't do this to me. My heart felt constricted, torn by pain. It hurt to breathe, I also felt very weak.
I tried to stand but I fell. When I lifted my self up, my body was shaking, with what I do not know. I held on to the wall, crying. I wanted to at least make it to Gaara's room. I fell again when I made it out of my room. I cut my arm and I felt a bruise arising on my leg. Again, I tried to stand. I slowly made it to Gaara's room. The room was closed but I tried to turn the knob very carefully. I managed to open the door and I fell on his floor. I was too weak to stand or move anymore. I tried to call out Gaara's name but it came out as a whisper. Father into the room, I heard Gaara muttering,
"What the fuck?"
My lungs were tightening; I was gasping for air. I could feel someone run over to me. I kept thinking about how the mist-like shadow was towering over me with their faces. I felt a hand on me and the dream came back. I screamed out against the hand that touched me. It withdrew suddenly. The screaming had taken out the oxygen form my lungs, I kept gasping. My muscles twitched here and there.
"Nagori! Get up here!" I heard Gaara yelling.
So it was him who touched me, not the mist-like shadow. I had thought it was the thing. It was almost a monster; no it was a monster. The pain in my chest eased a little once I noticed it was Gaara and I was not in my dream. I heard footsteps rushing up and then a sharp intake of air from someone at the door. The some one crouched next to me and asked urgently,
"Hateshi? Are you okay? Hateshi!"
It was Nagori. He was shaking me lightly and I forced myself to speak. They would think I'm dead otherwise. I breathed deeply and swallowed. My lungs felt like they were crushed, were my ribs broken?
"I'm…fine…can't…breath…lungs h-hurt." My voice came out rash and hoarsely.
Nagori turned me over so that my stomach was facing towards the ceiling. He lifted my head and poured some sort of liquid substance down my throat. It burned at first but then I noticed my breaths came in a much less forceful manner. It was getting easier to breathe.
"Gaara?…" I whispered.
My eyes came more into focus and I could see Nagori, he had lifted my head up. Then next to him, Gaara was there. He was standing with his arms folded. I smiled because I knew he was still there and he would always be.
"Gaara…" I muttered again.
This time, Gaara snapped out of his own world and he looked at me. Nagori and him placed me on Gaara's bed. Gaara was leaning on a wall, Nagori left. I smiled at him but he didn't smile back. His face was clear, but eyes were on mine.
'Almost…he almost smiled.' I thought.
I kept on smiling, a tear fell from my right eye and slid down my cheek. Then I fell into a sleep where nightmares didn't exist. I dreamed beautiful things, a world without Forbidden. A world where I was with Gaara. A world without horrors. The last image I saw was Gaara's face.
"I…love…"
My energy ran out, my eyelids closed and I fell asleep. If only I had enough energy to utter the last few words, all I wanted to do was tell him that I had fallen in love with him. Even though our relationship was rocky the first few days we met, I had fallen in love with him. How does he feel about me? Maybe he doesn't care…maybe we're only friends. I guess I'll find out.
When I awoke, the sun was pouring onto my face and I shielded my eyes with a hand. I walked down the stairs to find Nagori in the kitchen, again. The boy's back was turned to me just like the first time. I smiled then said,
"I guess you love to cook don't cha?"
Nagori turned to me and returned the smile. He was so nice, a great friend really. He ushered for me to come closer. I walked over by his side, again Nagori was making pancakes. We talked and ate. After a while, I was wondering where Gaara was. I hadn't seen him for a while.
You shouldn't love him…you know.
'Kashaku?…Is that you?'
Yes, I came to warn you. Loving that boy, it's going to bring you pain.
'What are you talking about?'
Okay…I will explain…
To Be Continued...
I've always wanted to put that. Sorry about the evil cliffhanger.
