Slight Breeze
"Hey hey hey!" Kitty squealed as she was shoved unceremoniously into a jail cell that was just as dirty as she was. "WATCH THE GOODS!" She dusted herself off when she was in her cell and scowled.
The Commodore merely heaved anincrediblesigh of exasperationand fumbled with his keys. He locked her cell as Kitty took the time to take in her surroundings. She was busy looking under the splintery wooden bench with her bum pointed heavenward in a rather unladylike fashion. Norrington quickly turned to give the keys to the dog.
There was a loud crack as Kitty's big bum came crashing down on the worn out bench, splintering it into several shards. He took a minute to lean against the walls and rub his temples as Kitty muttered something about English brand wood. The last half hour had been the most chills-down-your-spine irritatingthirty minutesof his entire life. He'd never wanted ear plugs to have been invented so bad since he'd first hired Mullroy and Murtogg. "She must be cross bred with a pig to be able to produce a whine of such caliber" he thought, watching herwalking in circles trying to examine her own rear for slinters. He had been sorely tempted to drop her off at the nearest trough, but thought it ungentlemanly and endured.
He closed his eyes and breathed a small sigh of relief for finally being able to rid himself of her presence. Opening his eyes and standing up straight, he found the tip of a very splintered piece of "English Brand" wood pointed more-or-less at his nose.
There was a moment of bewildered silence as the navy man's eyes traveled up the shard to find it attached to a dirt smeared hand which was attached the whine-box behind the bars. The way she was holding it, he thought for a moment it must have been a sword. But embarrassingly, it was pretty much just a stick. He smirked his devilish smirk.
"Put the stick down young lady. We can't have you getting splinters all over my coat now can we?" he said snarkily. Snarkily being a word reserved solely for description of Mr. Norrington. She merely stuck out her tongue. He grabbed the stick sword and pulled, causing Kitty to rocket into the bars.
"Hey! Give it back! I busted my butt to get that!" she squealed, trying to loose her arm from the hold the bars had on it. She gave up pretty quickly and opted to scratch at the man like a crazy monkey in the crazy zoo. She was even making crazy monkey noises.
Norrington merely took a step out of harms way and dusted himself off. He chucked the piece of wood into the corner, giving himself a splinter. "Ouch! Blasted splinters."
"Ha!" Kitty shrieked as she pointed with her stuck arm. "I cursed it I did! Cursed it to do my biding! Bwahaha!". She threw her head back and shook with laughter as she slid slowly to the floor, arm still stuck in the bars.
"That was a pathetic attempt my dear lady, but I admire the effort". Norrington wonder what was wrong with this woman to make her act so. Perhaps he was locking her up in the wrong kind of cell. Perhaps her walls should be padded and not barred he thought as he watched her try again the wrench her arm loose while muttering about jails not made to fit ladies. He stepped up to the bars and looked down at her. He cleared his throat and she jumped, unaware that he was still in the room. Or that he even still existed. Her brain works (if you can call it that) in mysterious and often mind numbing way.
"Hem. Now. Uh, I will be back in a few hours." He droned. "To let you OUT miss, not to torture you." He added at her terrified look. He turned on his heel and hadn't made one step when he felt his pantloon snag. "Blasted splinters." He said again but looked down to she a hand gripping his clothes. He raised and eyebrow. "Yes?"
"But I want out now." The girl replied rather simply and childishly. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "NO. You stay here and think about what you've done." He pointed a parental finger at her and walked off.
A few steps away he noted a slight breeze. He cocked his head to the side. This jailhouse was usually damp and muggy. The was a second of some smell-the-fart acting until with wide, knowing eyes, the Commodore reluctantly looked down.
There, around his knees where'd they'd been securely tied, were the crumplings of his best pantloons. The very ones that had been covering his pompous white bum just seconds before. Norrington grabbed his pants and shimmied them back on, face reddening with anger and embarrassment as he heard distinct snickers behind him. As he tied his pantstrings in triple sailor knots, he heard, cutting through the chucking, "Hey, do you powder your bum too chummy? Cause it looks as good as your hair!"
Without turning around, he rushed toward the jailhouse door. He was just reaching it when his foot connected with that blasted piece of bench and he fell like asack of bricks. An eruption of goose like laughter emenated from behind him. He scrambled up and stormed off shouting, "THAT'S A WHOLE DAY FOR YOU MISSY!". And with that, the door to the jailhouse slammed shut behind him, but not before he heard the words "Told ya I cursed it!" echoing though the walls.
