A/N: I did a really bad cliff-hanger! Not in the bad, good cliff-hanger way, but bad as in, I couldn't figure what else to write and keep the air of suspense! Heehee, oops!

The songs are: "Break My Fall" and "Here We Are" by Breaking Benjamin, "Let That Be Enough" by Switchfoot, and "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance.


Chapter Seven: Hospital

Eiri was getting annoyed. Very annoyed. Finally, he slammed his hands down on the counter, glowering at the poor female behind it. "Look. I want to see Shuichi Shindou!" he growled. "I am not some fanatical worshiper of his music! I am his lover! He friggin' dedicates all his songs to me!" he hissed.

Sure he was lying through his teeth, but if it worked, it worked. And it worked. The girl stammered out Shuichi's room number, silently adding "But visiting hours are over sir" to no avail.

Yuki stalked down the glistening white hallways, the smell of astringent and lemons making his nose wrinkle and his eyes water. He ran his hands through his hair in irritation.

He paused. Why was he irritated?

Because that brat gave me a heart attack. Yuki ground his teeth and continued down the corridor.

Again, he paused. Why did his heart stop when Shuichi collapse on stage?

Yuki rolled his eyes. "More importantly, why am I giving myself the third degree in the middle of a hospital hall?" he muttered.

Standing there, another errant question floated into conscious being. Why was he even bothering himself to see someone he had desperately avoided for three years?

Even more, less important questions swirled about in the novelist's normally clear mind.

The man rubbed his temples, feeling a headache surface. He wished an answer would wander its way into his head, just to make all the stupid questions go away.

A couple passed by, and the word 'love' was heard as they walked past Eiri.

He blinked. "Hell no," he muttered.

But somewhere, from all the years of being a romance novelist, deep in his mind… very deep in his mind, acknowledged the fact. And had acknowledged it a long time ago.

It was a reasonable answer, that part reasoned. That's why you're acting this way now. That's why you've avoided him, and that's why you dumped him in the first place. Love.

Yuki mentally slapped himself. Love, duh. He knew that all along… Of course he did… not.

Now, Eiri Yuki wasn't a man that had many major epiphanies. But this, this would have to be the biggest one he had in his entire life.

Like the true skeptic that he was, he shook it off, and continued walking down the hall.

"200, 202, 204, 206, 208… 210," Yuki counted under his breath until he reached Shuichi's room.

He laid a hand on the handle, and prepared himself to go in.

Then he heard Shuichi's voice. It was soft and almost inaudible, but it was more powerful than any CD recording or live concert.

"I fought you once, but not again

Let me feel your heavy hand…

I am loosing you again

Let me out and let me in

'Cause you're not alone here

Not at all,

Let me belong here

Break my fall!"

Yuki gently pushed open the door, making noise at all. Stepping in, only as far as the doorway, he surveyed Shuichi.

The boy sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, holding his pillow tightly. His eyes were closed, dark rings on the skin underneath. His skin was ghostly white, and he had an IV hooked up to him. Every now and again, his voice would catch and he'd fall into fits of racking coughs, but he'd always return back to singing.

His music was playing through the TV, and he was singing along, in a high, frail voice. He sounded like he would break into pieces.

The song changed over.

"Sing it for me,

I can't erase the stupid things I say,

You wouldn't like me

I struggle just to find a better way.

So here we are

Fighting and

Trying to hide the scars,

I'll be home tonight,

Take a breath and softly say goodbye

The lonely road

The one that I

Should try and walk alone

I'll be home tonight

Take a breath and softly say goodbye.

So why are you so eager to betray?

Pick the pieces up, pick the pieces up.

So why are you the one that walks away?

Pick the pieces up, pick the pieces up…

Goodbye…"

Yuki stepped into the room, the door clicking neatly shut behind him. For a moment, he wondered if Shuichi was too caught into the music to notice. So, he ignored the boy, and looked up at the television to catch the name of the song.

Then he heard a soft gasp. He looked at the boy from the corner of his eye. Shuichi had continued on singing, like he hadn't noticed the man at all.

"So here we are,

Fighting and

Trying to hide the scars…"

His voice was wavering dangerously, and his face showed faint desperation. The song ended a few minutes later. Shuichi let the pillow fall.

Yuki took a step forward. "I know you know I'm here. Don't screw with me, Shuichi."

Shuichi closed his eyes tighter, and his look of despair increased. As the next song started, he brought shaking hands up to his chin, clasped tightly together, like his song was a prayer.

"Wish I had what I needed

To be on my own

Because I feel so defeated

And I'm feeling alone—"

"Shuichi!" Yuki snapped, leaning over the boy. He wanted to grab him and shake him of his delicateness and innocence. He wanted the screaming Shuichi back, or the Shuichi that was on stage… any of them, just not this one. "Look at me!" This was more irritating than him collapsing.

Shuichi… he kept on singing.

"And all I see

It could never make me happy…

Let me know you hear me

Let me know your touch

Let me know that you love me

And let that be enough…"

Yuki growled as a tear ran down Shuichi's cheek. "Shut up, dammit! I hear you, I've heard your stupid songs, I've seen your dedication, and I've been to your concert! I even saw you fall apart on stage! I know, I know! Stop!" he shouted, grabbing a hold of the boy and slammed his lips onto Shuichi's to silence the boy's incessant singing.

Shuichi weakly pressed his palms to Yuki's chest, whimpering as he tried to push the man away.

Yuki pulled away and he tightened his grip on the singer's shoulders.

Shuichi winced slightly. "You're hurting me," he whispered, looking up at the writer, tears welling in his eyes. "Let go."

Yuki loosened his grip, knowing all too well it was more than Shuichi's body he was hurting.

Shuichi twisted away, turning his back to Yuki. "S-s-so many b-bright li-lights to cast a sh-shadow… Bu-but can I s-speak? I-is it h-hard un-understanding th-that I'm in-incomplete?" he sang. He wasn't even going along with what was playing on the speakers.

"Shuichi listen to me."

"No."

"Shuichi, please, listen to me."

"No."

"Look, dammit, I risked a lot to come here, and—"

Shuichi swirled around, the rage quite evident in his eyes. "AND?!" he hissed, his voice high and frail. "Do you want to tell me that you've suddenly realized you've been in love this entire time and you want to sweep me off my feet?!" he asked, sharply jerking his arms away.

Yuki looked uncomfortable. "Well, yes, actually," he muttered.

Shuichi looked taken aback. Yuki could see the gears turning in his eyes, the tears that threatened to spill, and the sheer longing that the revelation brought upon. "Well," the black-haired boy said diplomatically, "It is far too late."

"Excuse me?"

"It seems to me that you're too late, Yuki. I already have moved on; I have a new lover."

Yuki growled and grabbed Shuichi by the front of his hospital robes. "What," he hissed.

"My drummer and I," Shuichi said, painfully calm.

Something inside Yuki snapped. He knew that they had been dating… but lovers?! "So… you've… slept with that guy?"

"That guy's name is Tsuki; and yes. I have," Shuichi said softly. He saw the anger in his ex's eyes. This was what he wanted. Even if he had to lie to get there. Yes, please, Yuki. Get mad… leave. Please leave… Without me.

"You belong to me," the author seethed, pushing Shuichi onto his back.

"No. I don't."

Yuki felt his heart fill with dread. Surely Shuichi still loved him. He leaned forward, pressing his lips desperately to the vocalist's.

Much to his surprise, he found the boy kissing back, tears wetting both of their cheeks.

He pulled away, frowning gently as he wiped away the sudden tears. "Why are you crying?"

Shuichi shook his head, reaching up to pull Yuki back down against his mouth. "Doesn't matter," he mumbled against the older man's lips.


"That bruise…" Shuichi mumbled his voice slow and low. He sounded drugged and dazed.

Yuki looked up, frowning. "What?"

Shuichi squirmed slightly, Yuki's breath tickling his stomach. "The bruise I gave you that day…"

"Oh. What about it?"

"How long did it stay there?" Shuichi propped himself up onto his elbows.

Yuki sighed. "I don't know," he mumbled, dropping his lips back down against the vocalist's skin.

Shuichi hummed happily. "You do know, I bet…" he mumbled, lying back down.

Yuki shrugged. "I didn't count," he admitted. "A week or two…"

Shuichi sighed. "I'm sorry," he whispered, lazily reaching out to twine his fingers into his ex-lover's hair.


Shuichi gave a sad whimper, feeling Yuki slide out and away from him. He reached out piteously, trying to locate the novelist in the dark.

Yuki sighed softly, gently grabbing Shuichi's hand. "I'm not leaving. Just getting dressed," he mumbled. He slowly put the boy's hand back down onto the sheets, getting out of the bed.

"I… don't trust you," the vocalist mumbled, coughing slightly. He shifted, and turned on the light next to his bed.

Yuki blinked against the sudden light, pausing in the action of buttoning his shirt.

Shuichi lay on the bed, sprawled against the sheets, his hair sticking damply to his pale face. He blinked impishly up at Yuki. "Okay," he said. "Now I do."

Yuki sighed. "Here I was thinking you'd changed. Idiot."

Shuichi's face fell, and he sighed sadly. "And I thought you had, too…"

"Yeah, right."

Yuki watched sadly as Shuichi frowned. He wished he could tell the singer that he had changed, but… it'd be a lie. One could only do so much with an epiphany.

"It's a one night deal, right, Yuki?" Shuichi watched unhappily as his ex-lover nodded. He reached out to Yuki, silently begging for contact.

Yuki leaned down, feeling Shuichi's thin arms wrap tightly around his shoulders.

"I can deal with that, Eiri Yuki… So for tonight, change just for me," Shuichi whispered, pulling the blonde man onto him.

Yes, Yuki decided, For tonight, I can deal.