A/N: Oh, gods, it's wonderful what a good group of friends can do to you! I've been in such a wonderful mood ever since I stopped hanging out with the person who hurt me. SO! Who could guess who the cameo was last chapter? Guys? Huh? I mean, it was a filler, so I had to do it! Who was it, now?! I'm so proud of this story though; my longest! This is its eleventh chapter! And it's planned for a few more, I think. So at most, there will be fourteen chapters!!! I think! I am so proud:sob:
The first song is my most-est favorit-est ( :shudders at the bad grammar: ) anime song in the world!!! "Sleepless Beauty" by Nittle Grasper!!!! (I had to have Ryu somewhere in this story!!!) I sorta, kinda, re-arranged some things… I ish so soooorrry Ryuichi-sama!! ( :gets hit in the head with a random Kumagoro: )
Chapter Eleven: I've Never Forgotten
"Shuichi."
The pink-haired vocalist flinched harshly, turning around to see Tsuki. "H-hello," he mumbled, looking at the floor. "So, um… I've heard that you're staying with the band…"
Tsuki squared his shoulders, determination steeling his gaze. "You're heard correct, Shuichi."
"Look, you know that…I …"
"I don't know, and I won't forget. I'll never forget, because I still love you," Tsuki said coolly.
Shuichi looked up at the drummer, his eyes guilty.
"And now, that matter is settled, may I show you some lyrics?" Tsuki asked brightly, once again returning to his goofy self.
Confusion clouded Shuichi's face for a moment, then his smile returned brightly, realizing that this was Tsuki's way of trying to fix things; he'd better not screw it up.
Because in truth, he really did love Tsuki, but he… just loved him in such a different way that it was odd. He didn't want to hurt the boy; he wanted to protect Tsuki from being hurt. It was a very precarious situation, seeing as this feeling in itself was what hurt the percussionist in the first place. That and lying.
"'Kay! We can always use more songs!" Shuichi gushed bubbly, bouncing happily.
Tsuki grinned, and not even Shuichi—as dull as he was sometimes—could miss the small melancholy and longing behind it. And the vocalist knew, with a pang in his heart, that it would never, ever, disappear.
"Nakano."
Hiro looked up from his lunch, quite surprised who he found to be standing over him. "Yes, Eiri Yuki-san?" He inquired rather coldly.
"I need to speak with you. May I sit?" As Hiro nodded, Yuki pulled a seat to the red-head's table. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, sighing. "Where does Shuichi live?"
"Why?" The guitarist narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the novelist, pushing his food aside. "If he wanted you to know, he'd have told you by now."
"I need to talk to him. Nakano, I want to fix things with him…"
"Have you ever considered that things are past fixing?"
A new voice entered the conversation. "If Mr. Yuki wants to speak with Shuichi and make things right… It would make Shuichi very happy," Tsuki said, wistfully sighing.
"You're not that bad, kid," Yuki commented cordially.
"I don't care about your opinion of me. I just want Shuichi happy. And it'd make him happy, Hiro, so tell him what he wants," Tsuki mumbled with a shrug, turning to leave the conversation he'd interrupted.
As Tsuki strode away, Hiro sighed. "He lives on the apartment building on Main Street. Here's the key," he muttered, digging into his pockets.
As Yuki left, the red-head desperately prayed that this would make Shuichi happy. Even so, he began to form a plan B to pull his friend out of depression if the confrontation did not go well. Because he could not forget what had happened to his friend before, and he wanted Shuichi happy, because he loved him.
Shuichi lay on his couch, idly tossing a ball up and down as music blasted through his speakers. It was weird, hearing the song that started it all; the song that made him want to sing. In fact, it still did, and he loved it even more.
"(Deguchi no nai) shougeki ni taeru tsumori nara
((Without an exit) If you intend to survive the impact)
(Kuzureru hodo) itsuwari o misete
((To the point where you fall apart) Enrapture the deceits)
Umarekawareru anata yo hitori hohoemanaide hitomi o irodoru
(You who have been reborn, color your eyes without smiling alone)
Nozonda sekai ga totsuzen hai ni natte mo kiseki ni mada meguriaeru
(Even if the world you've longed for has suddenly burned to ash,
In some miracle we could still brush into each other.)
Muku na mama de sarasarete hanabira o chirasu hana no you ni
(Be exposed in a state of purity like a flower whose petals have fallen)
Migaku houseki te no naka no hibi ni sae kizukihajimeteru
(You're just beginning to notice the days are shining jewels cupped in your hand)
(Tsumetai te ga) nukeochita toge o hirou kara
((A cold hand) gathers up the shed thorns, so)
(Madoromu hi ga) kusuburitsuzukeru
((A banked flame) continues to smolder)
(Deguchi mo naku) (kuzureochiru)
((And there's no way out) (I'm falling further down))…"
The singer sighed, tossing the ball up once more, watching it arch slightly before it fell back into his open palm. He repeated the process, mumbling under his breath.
"What is love, anyway?" Tsuki said he loved him, Hiro said it too, his fans… He said it an awful lot, too. He was sure he used to know what it meant to love, but now it was muddled between platonic, friendly, and romantic. He couldn't tell which was which anymore.
"You should know. It's thinking about a person non-stop— Worrying about them, only caring about their happiness, and convincing yourself that if they're happy, then your pain is worth it. You want only to be around that person, and feel important, even if you never will; you want them to value you. Love is selfish, but at the same time, selfless. You can't wait for anything when you're in love, and love can't wait for you. … Sometimes, you'll go to sleep thinking about them, for they're always on your mind, and you'll long to see them in your dreams, because there… Everything is perfect."
The ball fell to the sofa with a thump and Shuichi gave a loud gasp. He bolted up, looking at the source of the explanation. "How did you…?"
"It's easy to find someone when you want to…"
"I've never forgotten that you said you didn't want me," Shuichi mumbled, walking towards the speaker.
"I've never forgotten that I lied."
"You forgot how much—"
"I never forgot at all, Shuichi."
