Author's Note: It was requested that I include a Klaus reaction. This is what happened when I sat down to do just that. I hope you find the closure you are looking for in it. I know that it resonated in me—I'm still crying a bit while I write this a/n.
Disclaimer: The lyrics aren't mine, the characters aren't either. Anything recognizable in my stories belongs to the brilliant minds that created them, I'm just using them for inspiration.
If I die young
Dying sucked. There was no other way to say it. It was painful and messy and everything Caroline had heard about the afterlife for the supernatural made it sound terrible. No peace, just pain as you watch those you love go on with out you. These were the thoughts running through her mind when she appeared in the Salvatore boarding house and came face to face with her best friends. Only one of them could see her though, and it took the brunette a minute to understand if the developing look of horror was any indication.
Bonnie stood up and ran from the room, slamming the door behind her as she stopped in front of the blonde. The tears left wet trails down her cheeks as tried to process what it meant for Caroline to have appeared in front of her, how something like this could have happened. Her voice was thick with pain and tears when she finally tried to speak, "Care? No! No, you're not…How the hell did this happen?"
Caroline cried too, wanting nothing more than to hug her friend but not wanting to hurt her. "I messed up, Bonnie. I think I messed up bad." Her blonde head bobbed with her words before her eyes fell. "Those wolves that we went to meet. Damon was smarting off, and one of them was a lot like him, I guess. It was just a tussle. They charged us…I…I didn't even know that I was bit until I got home and even then I wasn't sure." The terrified girl eyed her white knuckles before she forcibly unclenched her hands. "By the time I was sure, it was too late. I was too late to do anything." The broken shrug is the ultimate punctuation for her words.
The anchor was seething. How could this have happened? "How could they have let this happen to you, Caroline? They were there with you, and then they came back here like nothing happened at all," the former witch had never wished to have her powers back to this degree before. She should have been able to save her friend. She should be able to go into the next room and tear Damon apart. "You can't be dead, Care. This doesn't get to happen…"
"I wrote you a letter. I wrote all of you guys letters. When I knew how bad it was. I know it isn't much, definitely not enough, but that way I could say what I needed to to all of you. Can you get them to everyone? I just feel like it's a lot to lay on my mom…" Her words dropped off as Caroline tried to control her tears and breathing. She wanted to be prepared for what was going to happen when she passed on, to make it as painless as possible for both of the girls. "I'm sorry, Bonnie. I know that this hurts you and I'm so sorry. You've gone through so much pain already, I don't want to cause you anymore. Do I have to pass on? Or could I stay here without going through you?" The rambling brought a knowing look to the brunette's face as a sign that her friend was freaking out.
"It only hurts for a second, Caroline. I promise. And I would do it a hundred times to keep you here. You're supposed to stay here with us." Steeling herself against the coming pain, Bonnie closed the distance between herself and her friend. "I love you, Caroline Forbes. So, so much. I'm sorry that we couldn't save you."
"I love you too, Bonnie. I deserved it," she tried to joke. "How many of you guys died without me saving you? Just my turn." Deep breaths from both girls ring out in the room before the lean in for a final hug.
"Gaaahhh!" Bonnie cried out in a pained voice, drawing the three vampires from the next room through the door.
"Bonnie? Are you okay?" Elena was the first one to talk, grabbing her friend's elbow to steady her.
"No. No, I'm not," was all she said before running out of the boarding house. The group followed her to the driveway and silently piled into their cars while the former witch sped to Caroline's house.
Bonnie walked up the steps and into the house knowing that her friends were close behind and that they had no clue what they were walking into. But then she heard Rebekah's cries from inside and assumed they would get the drift.
Caroline gasped as she passed through Bonnie, appearing next in the hall outside of her bedroom. The few deep breaths she sucked in barely prepared her for the sight of her own dead body lying on the floor at the foot of her bed. Rebekah was cradling her grey head in her lap, stroking the blonde curls while Enzo held them both in an awkward hug. Bonnie was crying as she sped through the house to find the macabre scene. Within minutes Stefan had rushed in and collapsed next to his ex fling and was grasping at Caroline's cold hands as tears began to fall down his pale cheeks. Elena could be heard crying in the hall, the sound muffled against Damon's shoulder.
"What happened?" Stefan's voice was unrecognizable it was so full of pain. "She can't be…You can't be dead, Caroline…You just can't…" He trailed off as his sobs shook his body. Time seemed to stand still for everyone in the house before the blonde watched Bonnie cross to her desk and lift the envelopes addressed to the friends. She silently passed them to their recipients and the only sounds in the house were gentle cries and clumsy fingers tearing into the packets.
First, Caroline knelt beside her hero haired friend while he scrubbed a hand across his face to clear his eyes. She watched his brow wrinkle as he began to mouth the words that she wrote. The blonde pressed a weightless hand to his shoulder while she smacked her fingers to her mouth to stifle her own sob.
Stefan,
If you're reading this, then I really screwed up I guess. I didn't want to drag everyone down after we met up with those wolves. We had a reason to celebrate and I didn't need to be a bother—it was just a little nip! But I guess I should have said something. And, before your brow gets all broody—I know. I should have called Klaus. But that is between me and him, and I had to make that decision.
But, none of that is why I am writing this. I'm writing this because I am so, so sorry that I am letting you down. As a friend, as a sober coach. I promised you could depend on me, and here we are now. Well, here you are. I guess I'm ashes by now. I'm sorry, Stef. I didn't mean for this to happen. But I need you to do something for me…
I need you to take care of them, okay? Elena, she doesn't deal with grief. And Rebekah, we were in a good place, even with all of the Klaus crap. And Enzo and Tyler, we all know that they are more like Damon than you—they do stupid things and then think about them later. So please don't let them kill anyone. Not over something as stupid as this.
But mostly, please take care of Bonnie. She loses so many people. And then, to have to feel the deaths. That's not fair. And she will take care of you too, it's what she does. It's what I did, so I know that she will too.
Caroline moved to stand while he finished her letter, her eyes trailing over the other broken faces in the room. She staggered heavily to the left, drawing Bonnie's attention as a pain shot through her chest.
"What the…?" Caroline stared at Bonnie, confused and scared, before her phone began ringing on the floor beside her veined body. Before she could see the name on the caller ID, she disappeared.
Klaus collapsed onto the bricks of the courtyard, a hand clutched to his chest as pain tore through his shoulder. Minutes or hours later, the hybrid wrenched his eyes open and moved to sit up without a clue what had happened to drop him in the first place. The ache in his chest was throbbing out from his heart and that worried him.
Rising to his feet, the blonde flashed upstairs and into his bathroom. Eyeing himself in the mirror, the centuries old man stripped off his shirt and searched his familiar torso for injury but found none. He walked slowly into his bedroom, sinking heavily onto his soft bed and dropped his head in his hands trying to place the feeling of dread that was settling heavily into his very being.
Unconsciously his gaze flitted to the painting above his fireplace and his brow pulled together. The lightness that he never understood his ability to capture was gone. The likeness of Caroline was unchanged, but there was no longer a glow to the completed work. Without thought, Klaus tore his phone from his pocket and dialed the familiar number in a panic.
"H-Hello?"
"Bekah?"
"N-Nik. Oh my God, Nik—" the words broke on a sob and the panic began to overtake the hybrid.
Caroline appeared in the corner of his room then, unseen by the very alive man before her, but bearing witness to his taut stance. She sobbed heavily while she watched the emotions cross his face.
"Rebekah. Why are you answering Caroline's phone?" Each word came out as a singularly punctuated sentence. The panic seeped into his tone when his sister only sobbed harder on the other end of the line. Muffled sounds came through the microphone, signaling that the phone was now in someone else's hands. "What has happened?" he asked quietly, not knowing who was now on the other end.
"Klaus. It's Caroline. She's…she was bitten yesterday—"
"I'm on my way, Rippah." Klaus had flashed down the stairs before the words crossed the wireless signal.
"It's too late, Klaus. She's gone." The phone crashed to the ground when the hybrid stopped short, his legs giving out heavily.
On the other side of the veil, Caroline raced behind the man she had been too afraid to love and fell to her knees behind him. She watched his head snap up when she began to sob. The hybrid turned to face her, his eyes ripping through the broken girl as he began to fall apart.
Dark settled across New Orleans and Klaus had yet to move. The sun rose again hours later and they hybrid remained in a heap at the bottom of the stairs that led to the entry of his home. Hours or days passed without movement in the empty house. He was unaware of his surroundings until he heard a familiar sniffle and a flash of blonde hair tore across his peripheral vision.
Rebekah sank to the ground beside her brother, laying down next to his inert body and gripping his limp hand between her own. "I am so sorry, Nik." Klaus doesn't say anything, just pulls his sister into his embrace and lets out the first strangled sob since Stefan's words reached his ears. "She was brave, Nik. Like you. Like she has always been, whether people saw it or not. She didn't even tell anyone that she'd been bitten. She wrote these for all of us, I brought you yours." The blonde was worried, still having received no actual response from her brother as she pressed the letter into his grasp.
Caroline was miserable. She couldn't do anything but watch. Dying sucked. Klaus was paralyzed and she couldn't even comfort him, communicate with him. At least Rebekah was there now, he wasn't alone. The dead girl watched as the blonde she considered a friend pulled the blonde she loved from the floor and lugged him up the stairs.
By the time Klaus became aware of his surroundings, he was in his room with no real understanding of how he came to be there. All he was aware of was the delicate honey and vanilla scent that was uniquely Caroline wafting from the envelope between his fingers. As he sat up to open it, he would have sworn to anyone who asked that he felt the familiar weight of someone sitting beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder and surrounding him with the warmth that only the blonde embodied. Shaking his head clear, the hybrid tore the envelope open delicately, not wanting to damage her final words.
Klaus,
I…I don't even know what to say. 'I'm sorry' seems so naïve. 'Forgive me' seems so needy. 'I love you,' too late. They're all true. But they aren't enough. Not now.
I will start at the beginning of this situation, that seems the best course of action. Yesterday morning, I went out to the woods with Stefan and Damon. We met with members of a wolf pack from Louisiana, an alpha and his right hand, and were setting boundaries with them to avoid dangerous interactions. I guess they know you, or Hayley, because the blonde one seemed to recognize my name. Then, well, I don't need to explain how Damon can be. Some words were said and they rushed us, and the blonde one got a bite in. I didn't even realize it until later that I'd actually been bit.
And, at that point, I got dumb. I didn't think you'd make it in time. I wasn't sure you would come after I made you promise to stay away. So now I'm paying for it.
The venom is spreading faster this time. Is it possible that I have a weakness from being exposed too many times? I don't know why I'm asking you questions, it's not like I will get an answer…
I'm sorry. I'm probably rambling—it's getting harder to concentrate. But that's not all I'm sorry for. You know that, right? I hope so.
I'm sorry I turned you away, Klaus. I'm sorry I refused you so many times. It seems childish now. I'm sorry that I asked you to stay away. I'm even sorry for our time in the woods—that's not what I meant to happen when I said I would tell you. It's not how it should have happened. Even if it was amazing. And it was—not that your ego needs me to tell you that…
I'm sorry that I was too scared to actually say the words. Then, and every time before. And everyday since. All I have wanted for as long as I can remember was to be loved by someone, to be important to someone. And then there you were, giving that to me. But I knew what it meant to you. What it would have meant for you, for me, and for us if I had said it back. That it would have been the end of the chase, all or nothing. I'm sorry that I was so afraid of that. You deserve better.
God, I want to hear your voice, Klaus. Isn't that twisted? I'm dying and all I want is to call you, the one who could save me. But I waited too long. Which sounds like a huge metaphor for our situation. So I'm sorry for that too.
I love you, Klaus. I should have said that a long time ago. I hope you can forgive me for not saying it. And for dying. Leaving everyone that I love is hard, but at least they know that I love them. Do you know that I love you? I think you probably do—you're so damn sure about everything. But I still should have told you before I died.
It hurts, Klaus. Dying hurts. And I don't want to die. I'm not ready—not like I was the first time. I had accepted it then, had prepared for it. But I am not ready to go this time. Please…
Ugh, this doesn't make sense…I'm sorry. The bite is getting bad. I can't focus like I want to. Maybe I will just call you.
Yeah—I'll do that now. I'll talk to you soon, Klaus.
I love you. More than I know how to say.
Always yours,
Caroline.
The paper crumpled in his fist. She hadn't called. He would have been in Virginia if she had. He would have saved her, or at least held her and loved her until she was gone. She wouldn't have died alone and scared. He could have put her at peace.
Klaus flashed from the room and into his sister's. "How did this happen, Rebekah? How is she just…gone?" The Original sister froze at her brother's words, never having heard his voice so broken in the millennium they had been alive. "Was she alone? Frightened? Suffering? How could this have happened?" The last words were a pained roar as the hybrid fell to his knees in front of the blonde who looks so similar to the one they have just lost. Rebekah remained motionless as his iron arms banded around her torso and his tears wet her shirt.
Caroline watched the siblings comfort each other and wrapped her arms around herself, grieving alone for the life she lost and unable to understand how she was supposed to spent eternity watching this.
Send me away with the words of a love song
