I was staring down at my bloody hands, still having blood on my own face and jacket as I was waiting to hear back from the doctor that we took Grant to. It all happened so fast, too fast for me since one minute I was riding in a car with three other soldiers and the next I was covered in blood and seeing Grant in front of me, not moving at all. On the way back to base, I was trying to find a way to save him and make sure he stayed alive, making sure no one else touched him and was barking orders to drive faster. Once we reached the base, he was taken from me by Doc and a captain. I thought he was dead, though I checked his pulse and got most of the blood off of him by the time help came back that was of Doc and another Captain, he was still alive but barely. I was stone cold quiet, trying to breathe in and out though I was having another pain attack and feeling as though I should scream.

Why was I acting like this? I have seen death before, ever since landing in Normandy I have been around death. But this time, seeing it mere inches away from me from another American soldier who was under the influence, that was too much for me. It so quick, like a blink of an eye, and now I was sitting against the wall with Doc and the other two soldiers talking to the Head Doctor to see what he could do. I have been here for about five minutes since we came back from the ride in the jeep, my breathing was still shallow and out of sync. I was trying to remind myself that I was okay, that I was fine and not shot in the head. But Grant was, and he was on top of the table with an IV and ready for anything to happen.

The door opened, having me see Luz walk in at a brisk pace and look around a second before he looked over at me. I was still hunched over on the bench, hands folded in front of me and my elbows on my knees. He walked over to me then, having me look up at him as he watched me with concerned eyes.

"I heard what happened. You okay?" He asked me, having me take in a shaky breath.

"I don't know." I replied back to him in a shaky tone, seeing him nod his head as he squatted down in front of me.

"Okay, just breathe okay? Spiers wants to talk to you about what happened and make sure you're okay. You wanna walk with me?" He asked me, having me feel him place a hand on my arm. I shook my head though.

"I wanna know what's going to happen to Grant," I explained, seeing him watch me carefully as I then heard the double doors open and three men walking out, including Doc. They were huddling over a body that was on a stretcher, whom I knew would be Grant. Doc was holding the red tube in his hand over his head to make it level as the tube was attached to Grant, who was still unconscious. I shot up from my spot, moving away from Luz and watching as they were huddling him out of the room I was in.

"What's happening to him?" I asked out aloud, seeing Doc look back at me.

"We're gonna find a surgeon. Stay here, Gingembre, it's gonna be okay." He reassured me as they were out the door again. Luz grabbed my arm again, having me look at him with big eyes and still uneven breathing, This was way too much for me, and it was reading on my face when Luz smiled at me weakly.

"Come on, Red. Can we go sit down and have a smoke? I think you need a stiff drink too." He reassured me, walking me out of the room and through a hallway in one of the apartments.

"I need Joe." I said to him in a bit of a moan, hearing nothing from him at first.

"Yeah, well Joe and the rest of the guys are on a manhunt for the bastard who did that to Grant, so you're stuck with me. Okay?" He asked me, having me see him watch me carefully with his serious eyes. I gulped, nodding my head and showing that I understood. The rest of the boys were playing witch hunt for the guy, and I was just glad that I had someone to be around for a moment or two rather than be alone.

Luz and I walked over to the lobby of one of the buildings, the clean area had a couple of chairs and Luz sat me down in one of the chairs, walking over to his own pack as I was trying to breathe in and out again. But all I saw in my head was Grant's bloody face and his body on the floor, motionless.

"Here, drink this." Luz handed me a red wine bottle, having me look up and reach over to grab it. But as I was reaching for the bottle, I could see Grant's blood on my hands, which were both soaked in blood and was drying over from walking around in the cold of the night. I never had time to clean off my hands, so this was still sinking into my brain. Something came over me then, having me wish that I could find the man that did this to Grant and just…..kill him.

"You look like hell." Luz commented to me as I took one long drink from the wine bottle, having me feel the effects of the alcohol hit my face tenfold and I squinted. Luz instantly grabbed the bottle from me as I held my head in my hands, trying to find some way to calm down.

"Jesus, Red. Take it easy on the alcohol eh?" He asked me, though I was still trying to breathe on my end.

"It happened right in front of me, Luz. I was standing right behind him." I stated to him as I heard the door opening next to us. We both looked, having us see that it was Spiers. He walked in, having me start to get up from the chair, but he held his hand up to me to stop me.

"You're fine, La Noux. Just relax okay?" He asked me, his voice was polite but still having a command to his tone. I slowly got back down on the chair, seeing him squat down in front of me as I was watching him, hands were still shaking and my head was still swimming with the bloody image of Grant in my head.

"Now, I know this is probably going to be hard for you at the moment. But I want you to try and tell me…how it happened." Spiers explained to me, having me nod my head and try to stay still.

"We were just driving on the road, Sir. We approached the vehicle with the drunken private there, and we saw the two bodies there. Grant tried to talk to him, and I tried to help with my food rations and my water, but he….he was looking at me…" I stopped, gasping for air since it all came out at once.

"Did he hurt you?" Spiers asked me calmly, though I could tell the mere thought of me being hurt by him was about to get him off.

"Other than telling me to fuck off, he didn't come near me." I muttered, having me see a flare of hate in his eyes from how I said it, "But he just…he just shot him right in front of me as if he was…" I had to stop since I could feel myself hyperventilating. Spiers nodded his head as Luz placed his hands on my shoulder to give me support and to calm me down.

"Okay, okay, just take a deep breath. You're fine, you're okay here. Now, did you notice what he looked like? Did you see a name on his uniform?" He asked me calmly, seeing that I was having a hard time breathing. Why was I having this kind of meltdown now, after the war and seeing death around me so many times? Maybe it was because I thought the war was over and there wasn't going to be any more pain in my eyes, that this was towards the end when it was all calm.

"I don't know. I don't think so….he didn't look familiar to me…he might of been a replacement." I explained to him in a raspy tone as he soaked in all that I said. He got up slowly, looking over at Luz then.

"Keep an eye on her for me." He ordered Luz, having me finally look up at him with big eyes and failing look on my face. I shook my head in a fast pace, not wanting to be seen as weak in his eyes.

"Sir, I'm okay," I said to him in reassurance but he wasn't convinced, "I don't need a babysitter."

"You just tried to save Grant and that took a lot out of you, so you just need to take a load off. It's nothing against your own strength," he started, seeing that I was wounded with the thought of being weak, "You can only take so much until you break. Even the best soldier needs a break, and you're one of the best we have here in this Company. So…I am ordering you to stay here with Luz and not worry about it." I was still sore about the thought of being looked after like a little girl, but then again he did have a point since I was being overworked these days. It was still a shock that he called me one of the soldiers in Easy Company.

"Yes Sir." I ghosted out from my lips as I saw Spiers looking over at Luz now with determination in his eyes.

"What are you going to do about the soldier?" Luz asked, still behind me and keeping his hands on my shoulders to either keep me there so I wouldn't run or to give me comfort with my nervous breakdown. I watched as well, seeing something behind Spiers's eyes go red hot and was flaring. This seemed personal to him, very personal. And it would be too since I was reminded some time ago that if one member of Easy Company was harmed, then the rest would bring hell. I would bring it as well since I was so close from seeing it that he did harm one of my brothers. Spiers still looked composed, though I could tell he was fuming.

"We're gonna deal with him."


What felt like hours later, sitting with Luz and going through at least three cigarettes to calm me down, I was just zoned out at this point. We were waiting in the same room as the rest of the men were out and looking for the soldier that was behind this whole stressful incident. Since I had no choice in the matter of whether or not I could go and find the guy, I tried to calm myself as much as I could. Lux was with me, as faithful as a dog would be to its master, and talking t me about meaningless things to get my mind off of what was going on. He even got me Archer, whom was staying with him that night when I was doing my rounds. Archer curled up at my feet, resting his head on my feet and looking up at me as I was sitting in the chair. Archer was too good to me, somehow seeing that I was having a bad night, and he was trying to stick so close to me like glue.

"This one time, I got off lucky in school," Luz explained to me in a light tone as we were talking together, waiting for anything to happen, "I was imitating the principle at my school: Mr. Shafer. He was such a tyrant, Red. Everyone hated his guts; he had a big double chin and he looked like he would bust out of his shirt because he was so hug. So one time, I was waiting for him outside his office since I was already in trouble with my teacher. He wasn't in the office, and the phone rang, giving me the best opportunity to go in and talk on the phone. I got 100 orders of bologna to be arranged to come to the school and to be placed in his office." After he explained this, we both smiled from hearing the story, Luz's smile was so big and so affectionate that it made me smile, given the circumstance that we were in.

"Thanks for making me feel better Luz." I thanked him, seeing him keep his smile he watched me from the other chair that he was sitting in, more leaned back and trying to relax as I was trying to do the same.

"You got it, Red. I know any of the others would do the same for you." He reassured me in a sincere tone, having me now look at him in a questioned manner. There was still that lingering thought, of these men putting their lives out of the line for me. I was the only female in the company, let alone a Medic. Now I would do the same for these guys if they were hurt, Hell I've been doing that for the past few years now. But for them to do that for me?

"You guys would…." I trailed off, not being able to find the proper words to say out loud for him to hear. But he caught what I was trying to tell him, having me see him lean forward in his chair.

"We would do anything for you. You're a part of this Company, you're one of us." He reminded me, having me see the sincere look on his face as he said this, "You're put your own ass on the line for us, and we would do the same for you, you got me?" I merely smiled and nodded my head. It was good to hear it from someone who was not the voice in my head. I always had a demon in my soul and mind, telling me that I was not good enough for the company and for the war. But I had people like Luz and Doc, even Bull and Winters for that matter, to remind me that I was needed with them and a part of their Company. Joe was the best of all for this, seeing worth in me and running with it.

The doors opened hastily, having the both of us look over and see a sea of Easy Company men fly into the room, all huddle together sit they were holding someone in the middle of the group. Luz and I shot up, having me see them all stop in front of me and then they were all watching me now. I still was covered in dry blood and sweat since I didn't want to take it off. I saw, within the sea of faces, the faces of Babe, Bull, Martin, Perconte, Lipton, Doc and lastly: Joe. They all saw me, having me see them and hear one person struggling behind them as if they were being held against their will.

Joe shoved his way through from the boys, all whom were watching me with scared and anger in their eyes as Joe hugged me close, having me clutch him back. He looked more scared for me then, though when he came into the room he looked angry with the rest of the Easy Company. But now as he was hugging me, I could feel him hold me as if he was afraid I was going to disappear on him. He then pulled away from me, framing my face in his hands and examining me with his eyes. I must have looked bad, since I was still covered in blood on my hands and my face had some from the splatter.

"You okay? Did you get hurt?" he asked me in a rushed concerned tone as I shocked my head, his hands going with the motion of my head as I saw him unconvinced.

"I'm okay, Joe. I'm fine, I promise." I said back to him in a soft tone, but it was coming out broken since I was on the brink of tears from seeing his face again. He took in a deep breath, sighing in relief as we both then heard the grunting once more. We both looked over, having me see Bull bringing forward someone in his massive hands, holding them by the jacket. My own happiness from seeing Joe was no forever gone, since it was him.

The solider who shot Grant.

He was out of breath, looking like he was ranged down by the men. That must of been what happened, since the others looked out of breath and angry beyond normalcy as I watched the man now with massive anger in my own stance and face.

"Marley, is this the guy?" Bull asked me calmly, though he too was pissed. I looked at the man, seeing him again in my eyes from the moment we saw him on the road and him after he shot Grant. This was the same guy, who was now looking as if he was seeing a ghost. He watched me now with big eyes as I was glaring at him, so much hate was in my veins and coming over me like wave.

I walked away from Joe, going towards the man and see him watch me now with both fear and pain in his eyes as I was standing a foot mere inches away from him, eyeing him up and down. A part of me told me to forgive him, tell him that he was just being stupid and not thinking straight. But another part, a dark part, wanted to kill him for even touching an Easy Company member in such a way.

"You shot him." I said in a statement.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He grunted back at me, trying to hold his own ground, but I shook my head. No, he was not going to get away with this.

"You…shot him…point blank for trying to help you." I said to gritted teeth, having me see the flare in his own eyes and my own energy trying to calm myself down before I lost it on him.

"I didn't do anything." He spat back at me, having me see Bull pull him back as I then lost all sense of composure on him. This was all too much, this whole night and all that happened.

"YOU SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD!" I belted out at him, hearing nothing from anyone after I said that. Everyone was silent, watching me carefully and seeing that I was beyond angry now, This was great for them to see: since I was apparently the normal one in the group of Easy Company men. The man glared at me now, still not going to show that he did it.

"You're delusional, you fucking bitch." He spat at me, having me then see Bull snap his arm back and the man howl in pain. Joe was then next to me within a moment, pulling his arm back and punching the man hard in the face, having me see red coming down from the man's neck as he yelled in pain once more.

"Watch your fucking tongue, prick!" Joe growled at him, having me push him back before he could do any more damage as the man was still in pain. I didn't want have him fight this battle that was meant for me and me alone, since I was there and I still had the blood caked on my hands and face. As the man was doubled over, I grabbed his chin roughly and I had him look at me, though he was still trying to get through the pain of both the punch from Joe and the arm snap from Bull.

"You see this?" I said to him in a growl, holding up my spare hand that was tainted red and dry against my fair skin, seeing him watch the hand that was waving its fingers in front of him, "This is the blood of that man who was carelessly shot because he wouldn't give you one ounce of a fuck. You decided to take one man's life because he wouldn't give you one drop of gas, and for that, I can only wish you outlive these men here, if not me." I then swung my own hand back, making a fist and within seconds it landed across his nose on his face. I could hear the nose breaking, his scream piercing the room and my own hand throbbing. My skin was blood again, from the ripped skin that I had from the punch, but it was swelling up as Bull pulled him back and Joe grabbed my arms, pulling me away from him before I could get another punch in.

"Get him in the room before she rips him apart." Luz said to Bull as the men all followed him as he carried the now beaten soldier into the room next to us, then closing the door behind them. I was left with Luz, Joe and Doc, all of them were coming over to me to make sure I was okay. Doc grabbed my hand, examining it as Joe was framing my face again, his face was now looking more sort and careful.

"Take a deep breath, Marley. Breathe with me okay?" He said to me in an urgent tone, having me follow his breathing to calm myself down, over and over. It worked, since I could feel the anger slowly slipping away from me as I was looking into his eyes and see him do the same thing to me as I did to him when we were back in Germany. I helped him calm down so many times, now it was his turn to do the same for me.

"There you go, sweetheart." He said to me in a small smile as I blinked, feeling a bit better though my hand was on fire from the punch I gave the soldier. I looked over at Doc, finally from looking at Joe for so long. Doc looked up at me, worry was in his own eyes as he held my bruised and bloodied hand in his.

"I don't think you think you broke anything, you must of just swelled it up big time." He explained to me, having me sigh in relief.

"You know, for a Catholic Medic, you sure can throw a mean punch." Luz said next to me in some amusement, though he was just as serious as the rest of us there in the room. I could hear the punches and shots from the men in here, hitting the guy hard and giving him hell. It made me look back at Joe, who was watching doors with intense eyes and the look of hate there.

"I'm going there with them." He said aloud, having me see him look back at me, "Stay here with Luz." Before I could even argue with him, he walked off and went into the room, having me frozen there with Luz and Doc. There was a part of me that wanted to join in with them hitting the guy and making him feel hell, but I already had enough of him and for being angry. It all spilled over me, all of the pain of the war and every ounce of frustration from the battles. It all came at once in that one punch, and I was glad that I did it.


I was back at my own living quarters, looking out at the streets again and having me own hand feel as though it was slammed into a wall. I was no longer angry, since that feeling was no longer in my blood or in my mind now. I was such, too far gone from caring about what happened to him since I already gave him a piece of my own mind. I took a long shower after I was released from Luz, getting the blood off my face and also trying to get rid of the stains of my past demons and fears. It was no luck.

The door opened behind me, having me look over my shoulder to see who it was. I changed into a clean white shirt and my army pants, my hair was framing my face since I had no care about putting it in a braid. It was Joe at the door, closing the door quietly behind him as he then walked over to me. I could see on his face that whatever they did to the solider was no good, well, not good enough for him. He still looked out of it, maybe from him punching the soldier for insulting me or just hustling him with the other boys.

"How's your hand?" He asked me, reaching down to take my purple and blue buried hand in his. I did nothing, though it hurt when he touched it as he looked at it carefully. It was England all over again, him looking at my wrist after I was harassed by another soldier who thought I was too easy for him.

"I can take it." I replied to him, seeing him still stare at my hand, but something else was plaguing his mind. It was tearing into his brain, like a nagging sin. I grabbed his jacket with my other hand, hoping to bring him back to reality.

"What is it?" I asked him, seeing him bit his own lip. This must be bad since he wasn't looking right at me to tell me. But I chose to wait instead of rushing him.

"I didn't tell you something, something that I did with Webster and another recruited solider." He explained to me in a slow tone, having me raise a eyebrow to him as he went on, "We didn't tell anyone what we were doing, and no one knows about it really." He moved away from me, a few steps away from me and looking out the window. I stayed glued to my spot, watching him carefully now since I was now petrified of what he did.

"What did you do?" I asked him cautiously, though he hung his head and rubbed the back of his neck. He finally looked at me as if he was looking at a preacher or a commander, struck with guilt.

"The three of us went out to find a German Captain…who was in charge of one of the camps that held and killed the Jews…and I went there to kill him." Joe said calmly, but I could tell this was somehow affecting them. I said nothing, but I watched him with fear in my own eyes and another round of anger slowly coming over me. He went behind my back, without telling me, to someone whom could of killed him if they wanted to. This was insane, more insane for me to think about.

"Are you out of your mind? What were you thinking?" I asked him in disbelief as he tried to find his words.

"I wanted to find the bastard and kill him for what he did." He replied back to me cooly, having me rub my own eyes in frustration. I was trying so hard, so very hard, not to rip him a new one and call him an idiot and a fool for what he did.

"Was he even armed?" I asked him aloud, seeing him shake his head.

"He was hiding out." Joe explained, having me now glare at him.

"And you're the one that yells at me for scaring you? Joe, this is beyond scary; he could have killed you and not even think twice about it." I explained calmly to him, but I could feel the venom coming through my voice as I walked over to him, grabbing one of his hands in my own.

"I wanted him to pay for what he did to those people in that camp!" he said back to me, his voice rising a bit and having me watch him as another wave of sadness was roaring over him. I sighed, frustrated with him and hothead ways since this incident almost got him killed and let me alone in this world.

"This is insane." I said aloud without realizing it, thinking to myself on how stupid it was for him to do this. I looked away from him, trying to calm myself down by closing my eyes and covering my eyes with my hand, placing my hand on my hip and breathing in and out slowly. I then heard shuffling next to me, Joe moving from foot to another.

"I get it." I opened my eyes, looking at him now with confusion on my face as he was looking out the window with misery written on his face.

"I get that I'm not normal enough…it's fine." He trailed off, having me completely out of the blue of what he was talking about.

"What are you saying, Joe?" I asked him, my voice was simple and calm now. Joe closed his own eyes, sinking into some kind of misery.

"I can understand how you wouldn't want to be with me now. I'm too much of a basket case who can't control his temper, it's fine." As soon as he said it, I saw the pain in his stance and how he was trying to compose himself. He thought he was too far gone to be with me, too far gone being angry at the Germans. He was thinking, within himself, that he was now not good enough for me. It made me look at him in a new light: seeing him beating himself up over the insecurities that were plaguing his mind. I felt bad, feeding him those insecurities with my blow up on him. Reluctantly, I walked over a few steps to him and faced him as he still had his own eyes closed.

"I still want to be with you," I explained slowly, seeing him open his eyes and look over at me as if I was lying to him, "I'm still in love with you, Joe. It's just….this side of you that's filled with hate and aggression and violence….that's not the Joseph Liebgott I fell in love with." I took his hand in mine, feeling him squeeze my hand as I smiled at him.

"I'm not planning on leaving you anytime soon, okay? I still wanna marry you, grow old with you, and maybe even have kids with you. Screw it, I want to have kids with you, okay? Let's have a dozen kids for Christ's sake!" I told him in a light tone, seeing him slowly break into a smile as I reached up to frame his face gently in my hands, "You told me once never to scare you ever again. Now it's your turn: you have to promise me right now that you will never, ever, scare me like that again. You understand me?" I asked him in a serious tone, seeing him slowly nod my head. I leaned up and gave him a sweet kiss, feeling him wrap his arms around me as he kissed me back. We were both on mutual ground with each other now.

Look out for one another, and keep each other sane. It's a fair deal.