I think we are nearing the end of Ahsoka's flashbacks. I know I've been saying that for a while, but I mean it this time. Disclaimer- I don't own Star Wars the Clone Wars or any of its characters.
Chapter 20
"I want you to come back to Coruscant with me. I want to train you to become a Jedi."
At this Ahsoka spoke. "Okay, um-whoa." She stuttered trying to get her real words out. Finally she said, "I can't go with you."
"I have a home here. I have Chance and my father. I have the house. I can't just leave."
"Ahsoka I understand that this is hard, but you can have so much more in life. You can travel the universe. Your life can be the adventure that you dream about." Plo Koon calmed his voice and regained his composure. "I'm leaving tomorrow at noon. If you want to go with me, meet me here before then."
(Tristakine) Ahsoka POV
Ahsoka told Ms. Mauline everything.
She was the only person Ahsoka could really talk too.
"I mean, I can't go. It's impossible. I have to take care of Chance and my father and the house. If I'm gone who will support them? It's just…"
Ms. Mauline furrowed her eyebrows. "You want to go."
Ahsoka looked up and met the older woman's eyes. "Of course. Yes, there's a part of me that's screaming at me to go, but it's irrational. I'd be leaving my home and everything I know…"
"To live a life full of excitement and adventure. You could save people and be the hero. You could be the person you tell Chance about in bedtime stories." Ms. Mauline had an excellent point. The longer they spoke the more Ahsoka wanted to go.
Ahsoka stopped. She didn't know what to say. The part of her that had to take care of her family was persistent. If she left Chance with her father, would he start abusing him? She couldn't let that happen.
"No, I can't. Ms. Mauline, you have to understand that. Chance-"
"Chance has a life beyond you." Her voice was stern as she spoke. "He has friends at school that are just as important to him as you are. Yes, he loves you. But if you leave, he won't be as broken as you think." The sternness in her voice fell away. "Ahsoka there are other options. I could take care of Chance. He could come live with me and your father can fend for himself. You can go and become a Jedi and Chance would be safe with me and Primara."
Ahsoka's eyes widened. "You would do that?"
Ms. Mauline smiled a sweet smile. It gave off a radiance of warmth and comfort. "A long time ago on her death bed, Akosha Tano asked me to look after her children for her. I think somehow she knew Kiytam wouldn't be the same without her. I know I haven't done the best job of taking care of you and Chance, but let me make up for it. Let me give you some advice." Her voice fell to a whisper. "If you don't take this opportunity right now. You are going to regret it for the rest of your life. I think that you should go, but the ultimate decision is up to you."
After Ahsoka left Ms. Mauline's house she let her feet guide her wherever they wanted to go.
She ended up standing in front of her mother's grave. The moon shone right above her as she lay down on the grass. Ahsoka looked up to see the light of the beautiful stars above her.
"I want to go Mom. I really want to go. I want adventure and excitement even if I get all the pain that comes along with it. I want it and I can actually have it. I have to leave though. That's the only thing I'm not sure I can do. Chance is the only thing holding me here, and I need him more than he needs me." She began to cry. Tears flowed down her face so fast that she had to sit up.
Ahsoka looked grimly at her mother's grave. "Mom… If I stay here, I can see exactly how my life will go. Dad will die in a few years. I'll have to marry Equar eventually. Chance will marry Primara. Everything will be alright."
"I want more than alright. I want to wake up each morning wondering what exciting things will happen to me that day. I want mystery. I don't get that if I stay here. If I stay here, I know that each day will be just like the rest. If I go…I don't know. And that's what's so exciting about it! I don't know!"
The young girl fell back onto the ground. Her eyes were clenched closed. "I just want you to tell me what to do."
"But you can't, because it's my choice. I'm just afraid I'll make the wrong decision..."
"Ms. Mauline was right. I'll regret it if I don't go, but will I regret it if I do go? I don't know Mom."
Then suddenly a switch flipped on inside Ahsoka's mind. She sprang up into a standing position with her eyes wide. "That's the beauty in it though. I don't know."
"Chance. Chance wake up."
Ahsoka gently nudged her little brother's shoulder. She just needed him to wake up for a second. She needed to talk to him.
She heard a groan from underneath her and saw Chance's eyes open slowly. "Ahsoka?" He woke up further at the sight of his sister. "What time is it?"
"It's early," Ahsoka spoke in a harsh whisper.
"It's dark outside," Chance muttered as he sat up on his bed. "Why are you awake?"
Ahsoka didn't think about what she was going to say. It just came out. "I love you. You know that right."
"Yeah of course I do. I love you too," The young boy rubbed his eyes.
"Chance. I have to go…" Beyond that Ahsoka couldn't get any other words out.
Her little brother straightened up. "Go? What do you mean?"
Ahsoka told herself not to cry. That would only scare Chance more. "I don't know how to say this."
Chance's eyebrows furrowed. "Just tell me."
"I-I have a choice to leave. Mr. Plo offered to take me with him to Coruscant. I'd be some sort of peacekeeper there." She couldn't help the tears. "Chance I don't want to leave you but I don't get this opportunity again. Ever."
"Ms. Mauline told me you can go stay with her," Ahsoka knew she shouldn't have said stay. She should've said live. "You can take care of the animals or sell them, whatever you want. Dad will finally have to fend for himself. You shouldn't have to have anything to do with him. But if you're absolutely against this then I'll stay…"
Chance looked empty. He should have too. His sister was leaving him. Somewhere through all of Ahsoka's words he was able to say to her, "Go."
"What?" Ahsoka's eyes widened. She wasn't expecting that.
"You shouldn't have to take care of me and get beat up by dad. You shouldn't have to earn all the money and do everything. You should go. This is what you want." Ahsoka's eyes only got wider in surprise. "I'll be fine. I'll be with Ms. Mauline, she won't let anything happen to me."
"I don't know if I'll be able to see you again."
"I figured."
Ahsoka threw her arms around her little brother and buried her face into his neck. She felt free. He was letting her go and she would forever be grateful.
They stayed in the warm comforting hug for a moment until Chance pulled away. "I love you. Remember that okay?"
He was crying too. The tears were streaming down both of their faces as they knew this was the last time they would speak to each other. "I'll always love you little brother."
Ahsoka left.
Ahsoka intended to go straight to Plo Koon's ship. She'd get there early because-why not? She was excited. Right as she was about to exit through her front door she was stopped by a voice.
"Where are you going?"
Ahsoka turned around to see the last person she ever wanted to see again. Her father.
She stood proudly and looked him in the eye. "I'm leaving."
He was sitting at the kitchen table. He had a coffee in front of him and was gradually sipping it. He was going through a hangover. "I heard you talking to Chance."
"And what are you going to do? Stop me?" Ahsoka wasn't going to let him get in the way of her life. Not anymore.
"No." He said as he took another sip of his coffee.
"Good," was all she said back. She didn't leave though. She just stood there expecting him to say something else. Yet he said nothing. It was very rare that her father was sober and this is the last time Ahsoka would ever see him, so she spoke her mind.
"You know... she trusted you. She told you to take care of me and Chance after she was gone but all you did was fall apart. You fell down and never got up! You can never get up! Chance and I, we needed you. But no! I took care of the house. I earned the money. I fed and put Chance to bed every night. That wasn't the worst of it though."
"You blamed me. And for so long I thought it was my fault. You convinced me it was my fault! I took her into that meadow and that's how she got sick!"
"It wasn't your fault," he murmured from across the room.
"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME THAT NOW!"
Even in the middle of this argument, Ahsoka thought about Chance and how he was sleeping. She lowered her voice for him and the sake that he was sleeping. "I don't care what you think anymore. Your opinion is nothing to me. All you've been doing since she died is drinking and gambling. Not to mention hitting me whenever you please."
Her tears stopped her words. Ahsoka had more to say but they couldn't make it out past her choked sobs. She expected her father to just stay silent and take her words like a man. Instead he spoke.
"I deserved that. I'm an awful person who hits his children and gambles away grocery money." He spoke as though he'd just realized it. "And you should never forgive me. I've wronged you more than anyone else Ahsoka."
Ahsoka was still crying.
"You look just like your mother and I made you think that's a bad thing. It's not. It means that your beautiful and strong, everything that I'm not." He let out a long sigh and Ahsoka saw some tears fall as well. "I'm sorry."
"I know my apology means nothing to you, but I want you to know that I am sorry for everything. I know that it changes nothing either. You should go and live your life to the fullest. That's what you want. That's what your mother would've wanted for you."
Ahsoka stared her father in the eye. "You're right. Your apology means nothing to me. But if you really mean it, you will never lay a hand on Chance. Ever. Do you understand me?"
"Yes."
"Good."
She left.
A/N- I have nothing to say here. -Saraphine
