Rin: NYA! *Tries to grab Candus98*

Honoka: Haa... I feel like a patient who's visited by her friends~

Umi: I want to talk about Chillin' Dude about my changing personalities... *Gives Chillin' Dude her brightest smile*

Nico: That's a sure warning to tell you to run... But magasaurus... What the hell do you mean by an old married couple?!

You guys just spend time together at your own pace and no sex?

Nico: Hey Enya-chan... You are aware that this chapter is set in November right?

I'm just teasing. I know that you had sex with Umi as her birthday gift!

Umi: SHUT UP! *Attempts to hit me but fails*

Maki: Ever noticed that Candus98 asked you to go marry Enya-chan?

Y-Yeah... Anyway, regarding Lie and Mizono!

Airin: You don't want to get married to me? You have a death wish don't you? *Points scythe*

Hey! We're not even dating! We're just friends!

Airin: Fine... Let me cuddle you then...

Okay. *Hugs Airin* Oh yeah magasaurus, I actually ship Umi with everyone. But HonoUmi is my most disliked ship.

Honoka: Seriously? Why me?

I just don't like you.

Lie: Candus98... Prepare to die. *Points revolver at Candus98*

I don't own Love Live! Lie, shoot him/her later!

XXXXXX

Umi walked down the corridor, glancing at the booths the other classes have set up. Today was the cultural festival and many were trying to out do each other by coming up with creative ideas. Granted, some of them were creative but others... not so appropriate.

"I can't believe Class 4 is selling yuri manga... How in the world did they obtain such manga with explicit content?! Anyway, I better check on my class..." When Umi opened the door of her class, she received a shock.

"Umi-chan~ Put this costume on and help us with the cafe!"

"N-Nozomi?! Are you... a racoon?!"

"Yup~ We decided on it remember?"

"Nozomi... Sonoda-sensei wasn't here on that day... We decided it during gym period." A fox like girl appeared beside Nozomi. She was quickly identified as Eli due to her blond hair and mannerism of speeh.

"Oh yeah! Umi-chan, hurry and change into this!" Nozomi thrust a set of clothes on to Umi's arms, forcing the older woman to change.

"Hey Nozomi-chan, who are we still missing?" A petite panda like girl approached Nozomi.

"We're missing Honoka-chan and Maki-chan."

"Will they turn up?"

"Hey~ Sorry for being late! I had to get my mom to sub me!" A woman in a bear costume appeared at the door, panting slightly for being late.

"Nozomi-chan, is Umi-chan here yet?" A woman clad in a sexy leopard outfit asked, glancing at Eli and the panda before turning her attention back to Nozomi.

"Yeah, she's changing!"

"NOZOMI! What's with this costume?!" Umi appeared, wearing a frilly blue dress and a pair of rabbit ears. A soft bunny tail was attached on the back of the dress.

"U-Umi-chan looks adorable in that..."

"N-Nico?! Why are you in a panda costume? Or rather, why is everyone dressed like an animal?"

"Cause this is an animal cafe nya!" A cat said, waving her paws energetically. She was followed by a deer and a sheep, who both looked nervous.

"Hanayo... Kotori... You guys are helping out too?"

"Yep! I got Tsubasa-chan to run the store!"

"Okay guys! The cafe will soon be open for business! Get ready!"

"Eli... What am I supposed to do?"

"Serve the customers! Nico, Nozomi and Honoka will take care of the cooking. Kotori will step in to help them during rush hours. Rin and Hanayo will handle the advertising. Me, Maki and you will be the waitresses."

"Hang on. Why am I a waitress? I understand that my cooking could kill someone but why not advertising?"

"Maki... Your looks are more suited for serving..."

"Fine..."

"All of you! We're opening now!"

"Okay!"

XXXXXX

"Nozomi-chan?"

"What is it Honoka-chan?"

"What are we supposed to cook?"

"Look at the menu over there." Honoka turned her gaze to a nearby menu and read the contents out.

"Steamed meat buns, apple Sharlotka, cheesecake, carbonara..."

"Oi, why did you stop?"

"Nico-chan... What's rice chocolate and ramen chocolate?"

"Rin-chan's and Hanayo-chan's chocolate creations respectively."

"Ew... What's an apple Sharlotka?"

"Some Russian cake."

"Then what's this cute candy burst?"

"Cute shaped candy."

"Are you sure this a cafe?"

"Absolutely Honoka-chan! I made the menu along with Nozomi-chan!"

"K-Kotori-chan?! Then the drinks section?"

"Right here!"

"Salmon juice, Bloody Lagoon, Screwdriver, Cola float and water. What's with this menu?! Only two of these drinks are actually fit for all ages!"

"Also, we've a special menu at the back!"

"Oh right... Let's see, Daredevil's course? What's that?"

"You'll know when someone actually orders that. I hope no one does..."

"Why not?"

"Hey guys, Daredevil's course. Move over."

"M-Maki-chan?! Y-You shouldn't be in the kitchen, you could kill... someone... Oh."

"Honoka-chan, you finally understood?"

"Nozomi-chan... How could you serve this to people?!"

"It's done."

"So fast?! W-What did you cook?"

"Marshmallows, pasta and salmon juice." Maki walked out of the kitchen, making her way to the customer who ordered the Daredevil's course.

"Uh miss? Is this really what I ordered?"

"Yup. That's why it's called Daredevil's course. Only fools will actually try it."

"O-Okay... Before I eat this, may I speak to the one who cooked this?"

"That'll be me, Maki Nishikino."

"Uh... Thank you for the meal...?" The customer then forced herself to consume the dish. Needless to say, she got knocked out instantly.

"Eli-chan, hospital."

"On their way."

"What kind of a cafe are you even running?!"

"Sonoda-sensei, this is to out do Class 4!"

"Hey guys, more people are coming nya!"

"Got it Hoshizora-sensei! Sonoda-sensei, remember this! All is fair when manga are involved!"

"Wait what?" Before Umi could continue, a group of customers arrived, forcing her to tend to them.

"We would like to have six Daredevil's course and one plate of steamed meat buns."

"A-Anything else sir?"

"Are you free for a date with her afterwards?" The man pointed to a shy looking woman with green hair.

"Sorry sir but I'm in a relationship."

"I-I told you it wouldn't work!"

"Yeah, cause you're such a scaredy cat. You don't even want to try the Daredevil's course!"

"Your meal will be served shortly..." Umi went off to inform Maki about the orders.

"Hm? More of my cooking? How many?"

"Six, tell Nozomi to make a plate of steamed buns."

"Okay, it's a good thing they're supposed to pay cash before they enter."

"Why?"

"See the previous customer. Also, no refunds."

"That's harsh."

"Can't be helped."

XXXXXX

"So what happened to your mother Nozomi-chan?"

"She's on a honeymoon with Elichi's mother."

"How are you going to address the both of them?"

"Elichi's mother will be mama, mine will be mom."

"And who takes on who's last name?"

"Neither. It'll be difficult to change Elichi's last name or mine~"

"Hey Nozomi-chan, is the steamed meat buns ready yet?"

"Yup~ Here you go!" Nozomi handed a plate of steamed meat buns to Maki before returning to Kotori.

"Where are they going for their honeymoon?"

"Singapore if I'm not wrong..."

"But I heard it's summer all year round there..."

"Whatever you two... Pray hard for the six who ordered my cooking." Maki left the kitchen, serving the seven their meals.

"Is there anything else?"

"Yup! Wanna date this lady over here?" A different man pointed to the same woman that Umi had served.

"No. I'm dating someone. Don't bother asking that fox over there, she's also dating someone."

"Bummer. Well, that's all then."

"Have a nice meal then." Maki left the table and signaled Eli to call the ambulance again. As expected, all those who ate Maki's cooking fainted, some foaming at the mouth.

"W-What happened? Um miss? I think you served them poisoned food!" The only customer who was still healthy asked, concerned about her friends.

"Nope, just that my cooking's horrible."

"I don't think I can save them... And to think I'm a doctor!"

"Maki-chan? What happened?"

"Ah Nozomi-chan. She's crying over the loss of her friends."

"Y-Yeah... Wait, aren't you the girl who was admitted into hospital on Valentine's Day? You got... food poisoning right?"

"Ahaha... What a coincidence?"

"Maki, Nozomi, the paramedics are here." Eli said, pointing to a group of paramedics at the door. They carried the six fainted customers before leaving the survivor with Maki and Nozomi.

"So... Elichi, what are we going to do with her?"

"Lock her up in the closet until the cultural festival is over... We can't let anyone who've seen the effects of Maki's cooking come out alive..."

"W-What?!" The woman was thrown into a closet located in the kitchen. Maki and Umi apologised to the doctor before leaving her in the closet.

XXXXXX

"Nya~ I wonder how the cafe is doing?"

"I don't know Rin-chan. I'm sure they're doing great without us..."

"Don't be sad Kayo-chin! We can help out with the cleaning later nya!"

"Uh..." Hanayo wanted say something but before she could do so, she was hit by a student.

"Ah! Sorry Koizumi-sensei! Nishikino-sensei asked me to grab some medicine from her office!"

"Why would Maki-chan ask you do that nya?"

"She says it's for those who drank the salmon juice..."

"Ew... What's Class 2 serving nya?"

"No idea, but I know they locked a customer who didn't eat the Daredevil's course in the closet!"

"H-Huh? Rin-chan, we must stop this madness!"

"Nya!" The two teachers ran off while the student ran towards Maki's office to get the supplies needed.

XXXXXX

"Umi-chan, are you aware that someone is locked in the closet nya?!"

"Unfortunately yes... There's 30 more minutes before we can let her out..."

"Until the festival ends?"

"Yeah..."

"Sonoda-sensei, where's Nishikino-sensei? I got the medicine needed!"

"Great, pass it here Miyasaki-san." The student handed Maki the medicine and left the classroom.

"What happened to her nya?"

"We gave her salmon juice as she said she was thirsty being locked up in a closet for three hours."

"T-That's cruel nya..."

"Nah... I'm actually okay with it. Just that the drink's effect is unexpected."

"Don't worry! Once this is over, Eli-chan will release you!"

"Uh Nishikino-sensei? Some police officers wish to speak with you..." Miyasaki said, police officers behind her.

"Coming..."

XXXXXX

"Alright! I don't have to see people fainting anymore!"

"Honoka-chan's a wimp."

"Nico-chan, didn't you cringe when you see them faint?"

"Kotori-chan... You don't have to say that..."

"That means I'm free to go right?"

"Yes, I'm sorry that we have to lock you in the closet but it's for our interests."

"Ayase-san... I can't believe you'll do such a thing..."

"But Miyachi, it was fun was it not?" It was finally the end of the cultural festival and the doctor was finally released from the closet. The student, Miyasaki, gave a sigh of relief before playfully smacking Nozomi on the head.

"No it wasn't. Not with your weird menu and costumes."

"So we can all leave right? I need to get back to tutoring Nico." Umi said as she shot a glance at Nico. Nico nodded before taking out her game console to play 'It's a Hot Hot Life!'.

"Nicocchi? What's that you're playing?"

"A game Tsubasa-chan recommended."

"Nico, Tsu-chan simply told you the name of the game... Anyway, who are you trying to woo now?"

"I've completed Umi-chan's storyline, I'm now doing yours."

"I'm a bar owner in the game right?"

"Yep, and you're sexy in this game." Nico showed Eli the scene playing through in the game console. The scene contained Maki the lifeguard speaking to a sexily dressed Eli at the beach bar.

"I get it. By the way, what's Nozomi like in that game?"

"A journalist." Eli turned to Miyasaki, who was holding up a black gaming console with a scene playing.

"Hey Maki-chan~ Can I do an interview with you?"

"Sure Tojo-san. What's it about?"

"It'll be about the tsundere lifeguard and her embarrassing moments at the beach!"

"G-Go to hell!"

"This is Nozomi...? Seems harmless..."

"She's aggressive in bed if you ask me, not as aggressive in reality but still..."

"What?! Miyasaki-san, you've seen me and Nozomi-chan together?!"

"Well... Yeah..."

"Umi-chan, can I give her detention?"

"I don't think so."

"Damn it."

"If you would excuse me... I'll head back to the hospital..." The doctor said before leaving the classroom.

"I got to get back and help out with the shrine. Bye!" Nozomi left the classroom, heading for the shrine near the school.

"Nico and I have to get back to studying."

"Ah yeah... I also need to get back..."

"My mom's gonna kill me if I don't get back soon! Making manjus are hard work!"

"I can't let Tsubasa-chan handle Aerial Designs all by herself!"

"Me and Kayo-chin need to buy ingredients for our dinner!" All but Maki and Miyasaki left, leaving them alone in the classroom.

"Now... I'll make sure you'll get it from me..." Maki said while smiling, holding up a syringe.

"Eep!"

XXXXXX

Airin: W-What happened to Miyasaki?

Maki: Oh no it's nothing. By the way, IluvEliUmi about 'Tokyo Guide, Doctor and A Cliche Romance' I'm forbidden to speak about it.

Miyasaki: If not Talisman-san will delete you in a way right?

How did you get here? You're supposed to be a one time thing!

Doctor: It would seem that any new character you write will end up here.

Damn it... The story is reaching the end and two new characters turn up?! Bloody hell...

Miyasaki: How about you give me a first name and the doctor a name?

Lie: Before she does, tell me something. Is Candus98 dead?

If you see his/her review, it'll mean yes.

Airin: What about the two new OCs?

Fine, Miyasaki?

Miyasaki: Yes?

You're called Noelle. Doctor?

Doctor: Yes miss Talisman?

You're called Megumi Haruyuki, age 21. Now can we talk about other matters?

Maki: Yes, magasaurus, what do you mean by I'm the life and Umi-chan's the wife?

Nozomi: If you noticed, magasaurus ships you with Umi-chan.

Maki: Haa... This is ridiculous...

Hanayo: E-Enya-chan... Do you want to ask the readers which story they want to read first?

Unfortunately, no I won't. I already planned which story I'll write first.

Noelle: That's too bad. Anyway, it's time to sign off right?

Yeah, bye guys. The story's going to end soon but I'll still write fan fictions.

All: Bye!