Chapter 21

From that moment on, Starsky started to improve a little more each day. Although the need still ate away at him, drilling down into his soul, there were more and more times when he could relax and just be Dave Starsky. Hutch remained with him constantly and Huggy returned to the cabin whenever he could, in order to give the blond some down time.

And Hutch himself, tired as he was, had taken to sleeping when Starsky slept, just so that he would be around when his partner needed him.

On that first night, when he and Starsky had finally had their heart to heart, Hutch had wondered how he was going to get any sleep at all if he was constantly on the lookout for the brunet trying to escape. And Hutch knew he would probably try again, because the nature of the withdrawal was such that it would creep up on the smaller man unawares and grind away at his senses so that eventually even the strongest man would have to give in. In the end, it was Starsky himself who had come up with the answer.

The curly haired man laid on the bed with Hutch at his side as the brunet chugged at yet another bottle of root beer. Deep indigo eyes regarded the weary blond.

'Hutch you're gonna need sleep as much as I do'.

The blond snorted. 'I can manage'.

'Hutch?'

'What? I said I'd handle it. Just go t'sleep'.

'I can't. I feel too jittery'.

The blond sighed quietly. 'Monopoly then?'

'No'.

'Well what can I get for ya? Candy bar? Some more root beer?'

Starsky stared at him. 'Nuthin. I can't sleep knowing you're not gonna sleep'.

'I think that's termed being between a rock and a hard place Gordo. Just go to sleep, I'll be fine'.

'No. you won't. You look like shit warmed over. It's useless both of us being sick. I need you to be there for me an' you can't if you're dead on your feet' Starsky had persisted.

'So what? What're ya trying to say?'

The brunet grinned. 'I'm trying to say what you're afraid to. I know why you won't sleep'.

The blond rolled his eyes. 'Enlighten me'.

'Coz you think I'm gonna do the Houdini thing again'.

Hutch's heart stopped. Even withdrawing, his partner was just too damned perceptive. 'Yeah, well. That's my problem' he sighed.

'It doesn't have to be'.

'Starsk I don't know what to do. D'ya want me to saw your legs off or something?'

'Got an idea'.

Hutch looked sideways at his partner, ready for the certain Starskyism that was going to assail him. 'Sock it to me'.

The brunet got off the bed and padded unsteadily across the bedroom, returning a moment later with Hutch's handcuffs. He snapped one on his newly bandaged left wrist and held the other out to his friend. 'If we're cuffed together I can't go anywhere without you knowin' and you can get some sleep' he said simply.

'Aww Starsk. I can't….I don't want to'.

'You did it a while ago without too much trouble'.

Hutch grimaced. 'That was different. I didn't know what else to do'.

The brunet grinned. 'S'no different. Ya still don't know what else to do. So just put the bracelet on an' we'll be together so we can go to bed'.

'Starsk that sounds wrong on so many levels!' Hutch retorted. But he saw the force of the argument and that night both men had slept reasonably well.

But there were times that were still tough and this was one of them. Unable to get a regular sleep pattern going after the mess the heroin had made of his system, Starsky had taken to pacing the small wooden cabin. At times like this, seven days into his withdrawal, the peaceful, secluded building felt more like prison to him. The rough wooden walls seemed to lean in on him so that he was a prisoner, trapped in an ever decreasing world. At times like these, he wanted nothing more than to open the door and run – anywhere. Run to leave the fire ants eating away at his nerves behind him and run to some sort of life that vaguely seemed like normality. But he knew he couldn't run, for two reasons. He'd made a promise to Hutch to be strong and try harder to get through the withdrawal and going back on his promise to the blond who'd stayed with him was an even worse thought than getting another hit. The second reason was far simpler. After the initial attempt to run back to Bay City, and despite the brunet promising to try harder, Hutch had taken the simple precaution of taking Starsky's shoes away. So even if he'd made it out of the front door, he'd never have made it back to town without help. It seemed the flaxen haired protector had covered all bases.

He sighed heavily and flopped down on the sofa only to bounce back up and recommence his pacing. Hutch watched him tiredly.

'Is it bad again?'

'And then some' the brunet snapped, running his fingers through his hair. It didn't even cross his mind to be grateful that he could at least raise his arms once more. Days ago, they'd seized up completely from their maltreatment and it was only hot baths and having the blond rub his shoulders with something that he secretly thought might be horse liniment that had got them back into working order.

'You want a game of Monopoly?'

'No'.

'Ok, so you're not the hot property tycoon tonight. What about cards?' Hutch said mildly.

'What about you let me outa here?' Starsky grunted, pausing to look out of the window. 'I'm not your prisoner ya know'.

'What about cards?' Hutch repeated, refusing to be drawn into the brunet once more pleading for his shoes.

'Don't wanna play cards'.

'I'll bet you another six pack of root beers that you won't win' the blond continued, dealing out the cards into two even piles.

Starsky glared at him, then swiped the cards off the table, upsetting the table and a chair in his impatience. 'I'M NOT A KID. I don't wanna play cards, I want outa here NOW' he yelled, his face inches from Hutch's.

'Not a kid huh? Well quit acting like one!' Hutch said.

He hated staring his partner down like this, and a little bit of him was afraid too that Starsky was going to turn violent again. While at the beginning he'd been weak and too sick to pack a punch, the intervening seven days had seen him put on a little bit of weight and lose the prison pallor he'd had. The fluids he'd been forcing down had helped him enormously and now, although his pressure sores and the centre of his body still needed care, he was not in constant pain from them and if it hadn't been for the withdrawal, he'd probably have been fit enough to return to light duties at work. No, Starsky would be able to hurt Hutch now, if the blond allowed it.

The smaller man stood glaring, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he fought for control, his hands balling into fists and then relaxing by his sides.

'I need to get out. I feel so confined. Hutch…for Gods sake let me out huh? Please. Just for a little while'.

'Its going dark out there' Hutch hedged. 'You don't like the dark'.

'We'll take a flashlight. An' you'd be there. Please Hutch. I just need to get out. It's been nearly a week and before that Prudholm had me for seven days. I'm goin' stir crazy in here. I promise I won't try nuthin…..you can cuff me if you want'. He finished in a small voice.

Hutch ducked his head down. He'd hated using the cuffs on his partner, but at least it had gotten them some sleep. But there was no way he was going to use them outside the cabin. He sighed. Could he trust the brunet? Or was this just another ploy to get out and away?

You're gonna have to trust him some time Hutchinson. You can't keep him here for ever. Might as well be now.

Finally he made his decision. He stood, went out to his car and returned with the blue Adidas that his partner habitually wore. He handed them to Starsky silently.

'Really?' the brunet asked, hardly daring to reach for the footwear.

'Would you give me any rest if I said no?'

'Nope'.

Both men stood and Hutch opened the door again. The evening had drawn in around them and now the woods outside the cabin were dark and mysterious. Hutch stood on the porch while Starsky stood just inside the doorway. This was what he wanted wasn't it? What he'd pleaded for? What he'd fantasised about? But now that he was faced with the darkness again, it seemed to close in around him.

Hutch gently took his arm. 'C'mon Gordo. I got ya'.

The brunet took a faltering step outside, then followed closely behind Hutch as they started to walk down the path towards the lake. It wasn't far and the flashlight the blond held sent a warm comforting beam to pierce the darkness. And yet Starsky felt ill at ease, as thought he shadows were ready to pounce on him. It suddenly struck him just how much damage Prudholm had managed to inflict during those seven long days in the crypt, not only to his body, but to his mind too. Starsky pictured the older man glaring down at him. His face fixed into a leer as he held the syringe over the vein in his arm, and his anger bubbled under the surface,

How dare he? How dare one man destroy another like that? And yet he wasn't destroyed. He was battered. A little crumpled around the edges, but he was still functioning. He was still walking and talking. He was still David Starsky. The brunet set his shoulders. He would not allow Prudholm to have the lingering hold over him. It was bad enough to battle the drug without battling himself!

Hutch had walked on a little further in front of him and now Starsky stopped, for the first time enjoying being outside. He looked up at the moon overhead and the pinpricks of starlight dotting the sky, and he breathed in the pine scented air. It was good to be alive! He looked a little further down the path for Hutch and as he looked he saw, off to one side of the lake, the flare of a match or a small fire. Curious, he hurried to catch up with his partner.

'Are we expecting company?'

Hutch shook his head. 'Dobey said no-one was up here at this time of year. We should be alone. Why?'

'Coz I thought I saw something over there' he pointed across the lake.

Hutch looked dubious. 'Don't see anything'.

'There's someone there, I know there is' Starsky insisted, heading off down the path towards where he'd pointed. Hutch started to run after him, unsure whether this was genuine or whether the heroin was once again eating away at his friend and this was just another elaborate ploy.

Despite his lingering fear of the darkness and his still weakened state, Starsky had set off through the wood at a pace and within seconds, Hutch had lost him in the gloom.

'Shit!' he cursed and set off to follow.

Starsky ran through the woods along the uneven path. Without Hutch's flashlight, his eyes became accustomed to the dark and he found that the moon was really fairly bright. Once again, he caught sight of the bright flare of a fire and he ran faster. If Hutch had said no-one should be up here, then he needed to find out what was going on. There had been enough wildfires in the area to make him cautious.

As he got close, the brunet slowed and started to use the trees as cover, darting from one trunk to the next, keeping himself hidden. He still experienced the occasional cramp in his belly, but somehow this felt right he was a cop again, and the exercise took his mind off of his pains.

As he came up behind where he'd seen the flare he saw two youths bent over something on the ground. They were scrawny and dressed in black, so no wonder he hadn't been able to get a good view of them, but what he saw them doing took his breath away.

One had lit a candle and placed it on a flat rock between the two. The other youth was holding a tin foil wrapper of something pale and powdery. As Starsky watched, he held it over the flame and the brunet stared hungrily at the heroin, his eyes locked on the tin foil and the syringe that youth #1 was holding. He could hear their muttered conversation now, their voices floating to him on the night air.

'He went down hard man. D'ya think he's dead?'

'Do I look like I care? We got the shit'.

'Yeah, guess so, but still. I don't like the thought of him lyin' there on his own'.

'He was a fool. Who'd trust us? He knew what we wanted. It aint our fault if he wasn't careful'.

The powder had changed now and youth #1 set about drawing it up into the syringe and Starsky's hand twitched against the bole of the tree. Heroin. Only yards away. And they were young, he could take them, he was sure. His hands trembled at the thought of the sweet rush and the pains that would subside into mellow nothingness. Slowly, as if drawn towards then on a fishing reel, the brunet walked out into the small clearing. A twig cracked under his foot and the two youths looked up.

'Back away' Starsky said, his voice level and cold.

'Ya gonna make us mister. Who the fuck d'ya think you are?'

'Bay City police is who I think I am, wise guy'.

'Shit he's a cop' youth #1 grunted, standing up.

'Yeah and there's only one of him an' two of us' youth #2 observed.

'So?'

'So we take him. NOW' youth #1 yelled and sprang forward at the brunet.

Starsky stood his ground and as the first youth came at him, he ducked out of the way, grabbing the arm as it passed and swinging the young body into the trunk of the tree he'd been leaning against. But as soon as he'd done that, the second youth jumped onto the brunet's back, weaving his arms around his neck and threatening to cut off Starsky's breathing. The brunet was weakening fast and he staggered back, trying to slam the youth into another tree but he slipped, crashing to the floor. The youth slithered from beneath him and knelt up readying himself to slam a fist into Starsky's face when suddenly a shout rent the air.

'POLICE FREEZE'

Silhouetted in the moonlight, Hutch looked like an avenging angel, but an angel toting a huge Colt Magnum. The youth froze mid swing and shuffled off the brunet's panting body as Hutch sprang forward using his overworked cuffs to anchor the young man to a tree. Checking that the other youth was out cold Hutch turned and his stomach churned.

Starsky had managed to get himself to his knees and was crawling determinedly to the candle, syringe and heroin. As Hutch watched, the brunet reached out with a trembling hand and took a hold of the syringe. He held it as though it was the most precious thing in the world; as though it would break if he looked at it too sternly. And very slowly, he turned the syringe until the needle was facing him.

Hutch's world stood still. His voice seemed paralysed as he witnessed his partner and the drug. He couldn't speak; couldn't tear his eyes away from the horrendous sight in front of him. He wanted to rush forward and knock the deadly cargo from Starsky's hand, but his feet seemed rooted to the spot.

As he watched, Starsky lovingly caressed the barrel of the syringe, looked at his arm, then back at the needle in front of him. Slowly and deliberately, he held the hypo in front of him and gazed at the brown fluid before holding it out in preparation.

His eyes never leaving the needle, now glinting dully in the moonlight, Starsky raised the syringe and plunged it into the dirt in front of him, extracting it and scouring the tip against the flat rock until the needle was bent, blunt and misshapen. He dropped the syringe. He panted and the beads of sweat dripped from the tip of his nose and spiked his eyelashes, and his head ducked down in weariness.

Time unfroze and Hutch rushed to his partner's side, putting his arms around Starsky's shoulders and feeling the thin frame still trembling. The brunet looked up into his face and grinned weakly.

'What kept ya?' he asked, his voice husky and uncertain.

'I stopped to admire the scenery and check out the wildflowers along the way' Hutch said.

'Yeah? Find anything interstin'?'

Hutch's hand obscured his face so that Starsky couldn't see the moisture in his eyes. 'Found you'.

'Uh huh? Just a quick walk in the woods. Nuthin special…..Great night huh?' the brunet grinned, looked at the syringe in the dirt as though it might bite him.

Hutch held his partner to him and smiled into the chocolate curls. 'The best, partner….the best'.

There was a comfortable silence between them that plastered over the cracks, healing their wounds and sending balm through their veins. Two men, bound by friendship and adversity oblivious to the world.

Starsky pulled away from his partner slightly and sat back on his heels.

'Hutch?'

'Uh huh'

'M'hungry'

'Tell me something new. What can I get ya?'

'Dunno...I...Hutch?'

'Yeah?'

'Can we go home yet?'

'Home? Why?'

'Coz I hate the woods. It's damp an' cold an' there's bugs. An' it's full of dangerous stuff'.

Hutch looked at the syringe and grinned weakly. 'Yeah partner. The dangers gone. I think we can go home now'.

-----fin-----

To Karen - sorry it's over Hon!

And thanks to those of you out there who have nominated this story for so many Torino Awards. I am truly humbled and delighted and forever in your debt. After all, what's a story of there are no readers?

And tomorrow starts the Legends Trilogy with part one - David.