Chapter 12
"BECA MITCHELL! Where are you? Come on up, Beca!"
Aubrey was shouting towards the sea of upturned faces on the ground. Michael Posen could not believe this was happening. Just barely an hour ago, he was waiting impatiently outside the Ladies for Aubrey. When she did not emerged, he had stopped Mrs. Figgs who was walking past and asked her to check on Aubrey.
"She's not inside," Mrs. Figgs had said when she came out.
"Are you sure? She went inside fifteen minutes ago."
"No, she's not inside," Mrs. Figgs had been adamant. "Are you sure you didn't miss her coming out?"
"No."
"Wait, the ventilation window was opened. That was a little strange."
"What?"
Their conversation was interrupted when a buzz of messages and phonecalls went through the crowd of students milling in the corridor. And almost instantly a confused chatter went up with students running urgently towards the exit. Snatches of conversation floated towards them.
"OH MY GOD! She lost it!" "What? Who?" "Crazy Aubrey lost it!" "Aubrey's gone mad!"
And Michael Posen ran outside.
He stopped short. The students were all facing the school, looking up and when he turned around and looked up, there was his daughter, standing on that ledge forty feet up, shouting for Beca Mitchell.
Mrs. Figgs had ran back to the office and before long, the police had been called. They responded within minutes and two officers from the Emergency Rescue Service were now on the roof, trying to talk Aubrey down. The teachers had tried to disperse the fascinated group of students and parents standing around, phones whipped out to record the macabre scene but they stood rooted on the spot, unable to tear themselves away. It was insane.
Principal Owen was now standing at the doorway leading to the roof, next to Michael Posen and Officer Bones. Michael Posen had earlier insisted he was brought up to talk to Aubrey.
"Aubrey! Aubrey darling! Come on down, honey."
Aubrey had turned round and stared at the frightened face of her father. She smiled, waving cheerily at him, "Hey Dad!" And then she totally ignored him. He tried talking more, his tone escalating from reasonable pleading to madly barking at her to get back down. It agitated her so much that he was pulled away almost immediately and told by the officer, in no uncertain terms, to shut the hell up.
He did not know what else to do. Despite all the trouble she brought him, Michael Posen loved his daughter dearly and this was breaking his heart. The two officers were standing as close to Aubrey as they can, talking quietly to her.
"No! Don't come any closer or I will jump!" Aubrey was shouting now. "I don't want to talk to you. I want Beca. BECAAAAAA! Where are you, Beca?"
"Who is this Beca?" Michael Posen said. "Why can't we get her? Aubrey wants her, why don't we get her?!"
"It might not be a wise move, sir," Officer Bones said. "There must be a reason why Aubrey asked for her. She might want her to witness this. Please let my officers do their job. They are specially trained for this."
"We've been here an hour and she does not want to speak to them!" Michael Posen looked on with fear as Aubrey alternately sat down or stand up, swaying dangerously on the ledge.
"Becaaaaaa. Come on up, Becaaaa," Aubrey was now saying in a singsong voice.
"Please, we've got to try everything." he said in a half whisper.
The officer looked at Principal Figgs for a long moment before nodding. They went back into the building, heading towards the principal's office and Michael Posen meekly followed. He entered the office behind them and stood at the doorway, a little confused.
There were two teenagers sitting side by side in the office.
He recognised the boy, of course. Jesse Swanson, Aubrey's ex-boyfriend. He wished he was still with Aubrey. She seemed almost normal when she was with him. The girl looked somewhat familiar.
Michael Posen drew a sharp breath.
She was the girl in the girl Aubrey drugged and left helpless.
"Mr. Posen, may I introduce you to Beca Mitchell?"
Beca was looking at the three men uncomprehendingly. She had stood at the steps just now, looking up in horror at the spectacle above. Aubrey Posen on the roof, poised to jump, screaming out her name. Beca had stood there transfixed, not sure on what to do. Her body was numb and her brain seemed to be too slow to process what was happening and all the while Aubrey was screaming; screaming out her name.
Jesse had immediately dragged her back inside the school. She was trying hard not to shake or cry. Her body stiff with shock and even Jesse holding her close was not helping. Mrs. Figgs was there and she marched them both into the office, telling them not go anywhere.
Now there were three men looking at her; Principal Owen and Officer Bones, whom she recognised, but she did not know this tall, blonde older man. Beca was even more shocked when he came over and fell onto his knees in front of her.
"Miss Mitchell, I'm Aubrey's father. I am so sorry. I am so very sorry for what Aubrey's done to you," the older man was saying, his voice was in a hoarse whisper. He sounded like he was trying hard not to break down. "I know what she did was unforgiveable. I am so very sorry, Miss Mitchell."
Beca nodded slightly, unsure what to say.
"Please. Please could you help her?"
He was staring at her like she was his last hope; his voice choked with emotion now. He sounded broken. He sounded desperate and unsure; like he never asked someone for help before.
"Aubrey...she's not well. She has not been well for a long time. I don't know why she's asking for you. But please! Please can you talk to her?"
"NO!"
Everyone in the office jumped.
"No, Beca! She already hurt you before."
Jesse was standing up, his hand gripping Beca's shoulder tight, eyes flashing with anger. Michael Posen fell back on his heels, his face full of despair. Beca was breathing slowly, trying to keep calm. This was far too much. She needed time to think.
She then slowly reached up and took Jesse's hand. Jesse was still fuming next to her and Beca squeezed his hand tighter. His eyes met hers, pleading her to stay here, next to him where she was safe and not talk to the mad girl on the roof. She just silently returned the look with a wan smile.
"It's fine. It's going to be OK," she whispered. Beca then looked over at Officer Bones. "If the officer says it's safe, I'll talk to Aubrey."
"Go, team, Go!"
Aubrey finished her cheer, clapping happily. She sat down and swung her legs, not caring that she was some forty feet up in the air and a wrong move would spell certain death. This was great. Everyone was looking at her and she was the centre of attention, like she was supposed to be.
Aubrey hummed a little to herself.
She then glanced irritably the two officers on her right. Were they were still trying to talk to her? How long has it been? An hour? Two? How freaking annoying. She did not listened to a word they were saying and she did not intend to. She had no time for losers.
Losers like that stupid Coach Benson.
That pervert! Taping their sex sessions and whatever stuff they discussed. He was such a loser! She shouldn't have gone to him in the first place. Aubrey was suddenly very angry. She was almost home free, for goodness sake. She would graduate in a few weeks and all these could be forgotten. But no, that perv just have to stick his hand under some other skirt.
He'll rot in hell! She's going to make sure he would!
But look now she's expelled. Like the two previous schools she was in.
She fucked up, didn't she?
Aubrey Posen fucked up again.
A well of misery and darkness swept up and Aubrey Posen almost could not breathe.
She fucked up yet again.
And her dad was disappointed yet again.
Prom Queen. Beca. Expelled. Coach.
Hold it in. Hold it all in.
Pukegate. So much puke.
SHE IS NOT A LOSER!
No, you are. A Failure. A Fuck up. A Big fuck up. A big, big fuck up.
Aubrey held her head in her hands and screamed out loud. There were just too many thoughts. Too many voices. Too many...
"BECAAAAA! BECA MITCHELL."
"Hey Aubrey, I'm here."
Aubrey whipped her head round and there she was, standing just there. In her skinny black jeans, vest and that horrible looking plaid shirt. Aubrey gave her a once over and scoffed a little, looking back down at the ground forty feet below.
"Aubrey," Beca said softly. "You looking for me?"
Aubrey was still silent, still looking down at the ground.
"Umm...I was just on my way to get burritos," Beca said a little unsure. She did not know what she was supposed to say next. Officer Bones had briefed her in the short space of time they had. Just keep calm, talk and build a connection, don't get too close, the other two officers will help.
After all the screaming for her, Aubrey was suddenly silent when Beca finally came. One of the two officers on the roof nodded encouragingly at Beca and mouthed "Keep talking."
"So. Just burritos, you know," Beca continued haltingly. "And maybe a milkshake at Sal's afterwards. I like the chocolate one. Sal makes the best chocolate milkshakes."
Aubrey was still silent but she had stopped swinging her legs, now leaning back a little. At the officers' gestures, Beca continued talking about whatever mundane thing that came to her mind. Food, music, holidays. Mainly about food. Aubrey was still silent. If Aubrey had heard her, she showed no sign of it.
The one-sided conversation continued for a while. The sun was hot up there on the roof. Beca's throat was getting dry and she was running out of things to say. She was now talking about her latest mix, thinking how odd to talk about it now; here on the roof. Perhaps she was not making any sense at all talking about downbeats and chord progression when...
"I haven't had a milkshake for a long time."
Beca nearly jumped. Aubrey had finally spoken up.
"Maybe we can have one later together?" Beca asked slowly.
Aubrey fell silent and then shook her head. "I can't."
"Why not?"
Aubrey plucked at her waistband.
"Because I'll get fat."
The officers were giving Beca the thumbs up and silently telling her to keep going.
"You are a twig, Aubrey."
Aubrey shook her head vehemently.
"I can't get fat. Those fake bitches in the cheerleading team are just waiting to stage a coup! They don't want me to be captain."
Beca swallowed a little.
"Aubrey, you are a great captain. We've won so many cheerleading awards since you've became captain. Didn't we, Aubrey? All those trophies?"
A smile spread across Aubrey's face.
"Yeah, I showed them bitches."
"You are great, Aubrey."
Aubrey's face darkened suddenly.
"No, I'm not. I have to win every time. If not, my dad will be so angry. Either you win or you don't come home!"
Aubrey was mimicking her dad's deep boom.
Beca huffed and she ran her hand through her hair. "What is it about dads? Mine's is a hard ass as well."
Aubrey glanced at her and then spoke softly. "Yours too?"
"Yeah. He left when I was eight, you know."
"Really? My mom and dad are still together."
"That's cool, Aubs."
"Your dad's not around?"
"Most of the time."
"Do you miss him?"
"Yeah, sometimes."
"I love my dad. I want him to be proud of me."
"He loves you a lot, Aubrey."
They fell silent for a minute.
Aubrey chewed her bottom lip a little before saying, "What's wrong with your dad?"
"My dad can be a little hard on me," Beca said. "He up and left years ago and now, he came storming back, wanting to run my life."
"How?"
"Always busting my chops about going to college. To BU next year. I don't want to go to BU."
"Oh." Aubrey asked. "Where do you want to go?"
"LA. I want to make music."
Aubrey frowned a little. "That's not a wise career plan, Beca. Your dad was just looking out for you."
"What about you, Aubrey? What do you want to do?"
Aubrey looked away and whispered. "My dad had it all planned for me. College, pre-med, medical school, you know. But I always wanted to be a painter."
"Wow, you can paint?"
"Yeah," Aubrey said smiling.
"Wow. I can't paint at all."
"I'm good at it, you know."
"I'm sure you are," Beca said. "Perhaps you could show me your paintings?"
Aubrey fell silent. She was standing up now. Beca was looking over at the officers in panic. They were creeping inch by inch towards Aubrey and gesturing at her to keep going.
"Aubrey, do you remember that time we went to the museum field trip? At that Monet exhibition? Those paintings are amazing!" Beca was desperately trying to get Aubrey's attention again. She was gabbling about the field trip, about painting. Anything she knew about art but Aubrey was not responding. Just when Beca thought Aubrey did not hear her...
"How do you do it, Beca?"
Beca was in mid sentence and she stopped.
"Do what, Aubrey?"
"How do you go about NOT caring about what people think?"
Beca could not quite answer that question.
"I mean..." Aubrey continued. "How do you do as you please ALL the time? Dress the way you do. Mixing your mad music. Eat all that junk food. And not care what people are saying about you? How do you do that? Does it not drive you mad? That people think that way about you?"
"They can think what they like."
"I can't even leave the house without changing at least three times."
"You can't control what people think and talk about, Aubrey. But you can control how you react to it."
Aubrey nodded, still looking down at the ground below, at the sea of faces looking up at her.
"They wanted you as Prom Queen, you know."
"What?"
Aubrey nodded at the sea of faces below.
"They wanted you as Prom Queen."
"That's cra...umm...that's unexpected."
"Yeah," Aubrey nodded.
"And you know what's the best part, Beca?" Aubrey continued, laughing a little now. "You don't even want it. You thought it was all a joke! Now I want to be Prom Queen. I want it so badly! And if I am Prom Queen, maybe my dad will ease off for a moment."
She was now rocking on her feet now.
"Aubrey! Look at me." Beca said firmly. "Bree, look at me."
Aubrey turned to face Beca.
"Can you imagine me as Prom Queen?" Beca said. "I'm a mess! There is no way I am Prom Queen."
Aubrey turned away. Beca eyes darted to the two officers.
"Bree, look at me," Beca said. "I've been to so many makeovers and yet I'm still a mess. I'm not Prom Queen, Aubrey."
"You are, Aubrey. You are Prom Queen."
Aubrey turned to face Beca, her eyes twinkling happily.
"Yeah. Yeah I am."
Aubrey was smiling and then she leaned back. Her feet was skittering a little on the ledge. A frozen moment, and then she was falling. Falling back into that empty space.
"Aubrey, NO!"
Beca launched herself forwards. Her hand brushed Aubrey's and she grabbed it tight. She was holding hard to Aubrey's hand, trying hard to pull her in. Aubrey was laughing. Smiling beatifically at her. Beca could not pull her back and she felt herself being pulled forward. Forward into that space.
Beca heard a girl screaming and realised it was her.
She was screaming and desperately holding on to Aubrey.
Her brain was screaming at her to let go.
She was going to fall.
She was going to fall to her death.
She could see that sea of faces staring up at her. Faces twisted in grosteque horror.
She was going to fall to her death with Aubrey.
And that scream died in her throat.
And then she felt her feet were firmly planted on the floor.
"I got you. I got you, champ."
A fleeting moment of numbness.
And a rush, a tide, an avalanche of emotions overwhelmed her.
Her tears were running down freely as Beca looked up at the officer, holding her. She was no longer holding on to Aubrey. And she was no longer falling forward. Beca could not stop that painful, frightened rasps coming out of her. She was so frightened. She was no more badass Beca. She was a frightened girl, teetering near death.
The officer held her steady for a minute. Aubrey was being held fast by the other officer. She was yelling a string of obscenities and clawing at the other officer. The officer gave Beca a quick look of apology before letting go and going over to help his partner subdued Aubrey.
People were now running towards them.
Beca's knees were weak.
She was going to fall.
She could not stand straight anymore.
And she would have fell on that hard concrete floor if that pair of arms, that familiar strong pair of arms did not hug her tight from behind. She turned automatically, sobbing straight into that familiar chest. She held on tight, so afraid if she let go, she would definitely fall into that empty, yawning space she glimpsed moments before.
Her blood was pounding in her head. She could not think.
"Beca! Oh my god, Beca! Are you ok?"
Jesse's voice sounded shaken.
His arms tightened painfully around her.
She didn't want to think. She just wanted to stay like this, not thinking.
Beca was still sobbing when she felt Jesse pushing her back, away from the comfort of his chest. He was looking down at her, his face white with worry. His lips were bleeding. Like he had bitten down on them hard. His hands were holding to her shoulders so tight. Like he was afraid she would float away.
"Please! Please don't ever do that again!" he was saying. His hands were now holding her head fast, forcing her to look straight at him. His eyes were boring down angrily into her. They were shiny and wet. Like he had been crying. "Please don't ever, EVER frighten me like that again!"
"Oh my god, Beca!" Jesse was yelling frustratedly now, shaking her a little. "Have you any idea how much I love you? Have you any idea at all?"
"I love you, Beca Mitchell. I've loved you for the longest time."
And then he kissed her.
