--disclaimers and all usual nonsense still in effect
--author's notes still at the end
A soft, autumn wind blew across the field, carrying with it a hint of the cold winter to come. But for now, John and Abby were quite content to lay on the grass forever, wrapped in each other's arms, gazing at the stars.
"John," she finally whispered, breaking the peaceful silence. "Thank you for dinner tonight."
He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "No problem. I think we both earned it considering the first few weeks of school have been hell. And I really wanted to spend some time with you. I feel like we never get to see each other."
"Which is ironic, considering we have 3 classes together every day."
"I know. It's just not the same."
"Yeah, I know. This is nice." She was silent for a moment before continuing. "Most guys would take their girlfriend to a movie after dinner," she looked up at him, mirth twinkling in her eyes. "But my boyfriend chooses to take me to some secluded field in the vast property behind his house. One has to wonder exactly what he has in mind."
"Nothing sinister, I promise. I thought about doing a movie or something, but it's just that we get to spend so little time actually alone, away from prying eyes and nosy friends..."
"I'm teasing you, John. This was a great idea. And this is probably one of the last few times we'll actually be able to comfortably be outside until some time in May." She lifted her head a little, pressing a kiss to his lips. "I couldn't have imagined a more perfect night."
They were quiet for a few more minutes until John spoke up again. "You know, at the risk of sounding cliche, it really is amazing how many stars you can see out here. Even trying to spot them around my house can be tough. But, man, out here...it looks amazing."
"You're right," Abby agreed. "You do sound cliche."
He poked her in the side, causing her to giggle. "Thanks for the support, darling."
"Anytime, dear. That's what I'm here for."
"To insult me?"
"No. To keep you from sounding like a Hallmark Hall of Fame TV movie."
"Well, I appreciate the efforts on your behalf."
"Anything for you."
"'Anything,' you say?" he asked playfully, leaning over to kiss her neck.
Abby's eyes fluttered shut and she tilted her head to give him better access. "And you said you didn't have anything sinister planned."
"This isn't sinister," he insisted, his voice somewhat muffled. "This is just two kids, spending some time alone."
"Oh, is that was this is called nowadays?"
"According to my dictionary, yes it is."
"I'll have to take a look at your dictionary then, because mine--" She never got to finish her thought because at that moment, John put his lips on hers, effectively silencing her, and shoving all rational thought from her brain. Not that she was about to complain. Truthfully, the time they actually had alone, to be a couple, was so limited, that she would have been more than content to just lay there with him, if that's all they were up for. But being able to kiss him without a door that had to be open or people who could wander in at any time was better than anything she could have hoped for.
Neither knew who initiated it--whether it was John adjusting himself so that he could lay on top of Abby, trying to get as close as possible, or Abby, who grabbed his arm to pull him on top of her, eager for the contact--but within moments, John's body was against Abby's, pushing her into the soft grass. Their arms were wrapped around each other, keeping themselves as close together as could be without somehow being fused together as one person.
The kiss started out innocent enough--or at least as innocent as their kissing had been thus far. But by some unspoken, mutual agreement, they began to slowly explore new territory. Their hands began to investigate areas they hadn't allowed themselves to before. In the past, their actions had always been frantic, rushed, slightly nervous, always expecting someone to walk in and stop them. But tonight...tonight, there was no hurry. They could do what they wanted at their own pace.
John's hands traveled slowly down Abby's sides, coming to rest on her hips, part of him a little nervous about pushing too far. But Abby's legs fell open, cradling him between her thighs, inviting him to explore as little or as much as he wanted. So he allowed his hands to slowly travel farther, gently caressing the sides of her legs, or at least what he could through the soft fabric of her pants.
Abby's hands had not been idle, though she'd been more interested in feeling skin. She'd found the hem of his shirt, then slid her hands beneath it, entranced with silky-smoothness of his back, enjoying the feel of his muscles flexing and relaxing as he shifted around. A small smile came to her lips when felt him shudder as she trailed a fingernail lightly up and down his spine. She enjoyed that she could get that kind of reaction from him.
Slowly, instinctively, driven by an almost primitive force neither of them could name, John's hips began to push slowly against Abby's. The shift was so gradual that neither noticed it begin, and by the time he realized what he was doing, he wasn't sure if he hadn't been doing it the entire time. It felt natural, right, like it was something he was supposed to do. He was sure that there was nothing in the world that could feel better than what he was doing at that very moment. Until Abby's hips began to reciprocate, pushing gently against his, their rhythm perfectly timed, moving to an ancient beat that neither could hear but both could feel.
It felt exquisite.
At one point, John heard Abby let out a little moan and was immediately concerned, even if he couldn't bring himself to stop his actions. He did manage to briefly pull his lips from hers and ask, "Are you all right?" hoping it came out sounding worried as opposed to eager for more.
To which she responded, quiet, out of breath, "Don't stop," and captured his lips once more. A demand he was more than happy to oblige.
Eventually, John's hands found their way to the hem of Abby's shirt, where they paused for a few moments, gently playing with the skin at her waist before sliding under completely. He somehow couldn't find the courage to go more than halfway up her torso, but it was enough for now. All he needed to feel was her. Her and her velvety-soft skin. He couldn't get enough of it. His fingers circled her belly button, danced up and down her sides, stroked her ribs as if he were strumming a guitar. It was too much, and it was not enough. Nothing with her would ever be enough.
His hands, of their own volition, gradually began to explore new territory. They reached higher and searched lower, desperate to find new parts of Abby, parts they hadn't yet touched, parts that no one had touched. Perhaps that's how he came to realize that not only was one of his hands on her breast, but it was also gently rubbing, squeezing, and caressing. Instantly, he froze and jerked his hand away as if it had been burned. He pulled away from her and stared, wide-eyed, like a deer caught in headlights, panting heavily.
Thoroughly confused, Abby's eyes opened to see a terrified-looking John staring back at her. "What? What's wrong?"
"I--I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--uh--you know...I mean..."
Slowly, she realized what he was trying to say--he was apologizing for groping her. She really hadn't even noticed what he'd been doing until he'd stopped. Everything had felt so good, so amazing, one sensation after another, that nothing had registered as individual actions. Rather, it had all swirled together into one big blur of sensory...well, not overload, but something that was close, but much more bearable.
She smiled at him and whispered, "It's okay."
He looked stunned. "What?"
"I said it's okay. I don't mind--not in the least." She paused, swallowing hard. She knew what she wanted to feel and she knew what she wanted him to do, but saying it was a different story altogether. "I want you to touch me."
His already wide eyes opened even futher. "Seriously."
She nodded her head vigorously. "Yeah, seriously. I want...your hands on me. Please don't stop." She noticed that he still looked a little uncertain, so she removed one of her hands from its position under his shirt and brought it up to gently stroke his face. "I mean it." And to show him that she was serious, she took his hand in hers and slowly moved it back underneath her shirt.
His eyes closed once more, though she wasn't sure if it was in anticipation, or fear, or maybe both, but she knew that she wanted him to look at her, to know that this really was okay.
"John, look at me." She waited until he complied and stared at him for a few seconds, trying to somehow let her own eyes show her trust of him. "This is me. It's just me. You know me. There's nothing to worry about. I want this just as much as you do." With that, she moved his hand the remaining few inches until it was once more upon her breast, their eyes still locked with each other, though her breathing a little heavier at the feeling of his hands on her body.
For a few moments, all could do was concentrate on what Abby was allowing him to do. He knew he needed a few moments to let it all sink in before he could attempt to continue with what he'd been doing before. However, Abby moaned again, her eyes sliding shut once more, and he brought his lips down to hers with a renewed passion, more eager than ever.
Abby, for her part, wasn't quite sure where her courage was coming from. She didn't know what had made her absolutely sure that John's hands on her were nothing to fear. She knew that if it were some other guy, some guy she didn't care about nearly as much, he wouldn't have gotten nearly as far as John had. Something about being with John made her feel as if everything was right in the world and that nothing they did together could be wrong.
With that thought in mind, she began to grab handfuls of his shirt, bunching it up in her hands, pulling it up to his neck. He knew what she wanted and very briefly pulled himself away, only long enough to rip his shirt off over his head, tossing it away to some unknown location, before bringing himself back down to her, holding her close once more.
It was a good feeling. Nothing but his smooth skin beneath her hands. But it wasn't enough. Smiling a little, she pushed with all of her strength until he was the one flat on his back and she was straddling him. Almost reluctantly, she pulled herself to a sitting position and crossed her arms in front of her chest, grabbing the hem of her shirt in both hands. With a somewhat tentative grin, she pulled it over her head, sending it sailing off into the general vicinity of his own shirt. Only now, she wasn't quite sure what to do. She sat there, clad only in a bra from the waist up, her arms hanging limply at her sides, waiting for a reaction.
Slowly, he brought a hand up to her face and gently trailed one finger down from her chin, between her breasts, coming to rest on her naval. He paused there, silently letting her know that it was her turn. She leaned down and began kissing him once more. No holds barred. The feeling of skin on skin was incredible. It was like nothing either of them had ever felt before.
Their kissing grew more intense. They hands began to take more liberties. Their hips were grinding together in a frenzy, not quite sure what they were trying to accomplish with the barriers of pants and underwear between them, but trying to accomplish something nonetheless.
Suddenly, Abby pulled away, grinning at John devilishly. "Is that what I think it is?" she asked, her hips still moving against his, enjoying the feel of this even newer territory.
He just rolled his eyes, and though his skin was already flushed from their activities, she was fairly certain he turned a slightly darker shade of red. "So sue me," he answered, pulling her face back down to his.
A few minutes later, without warning, he moved into a sitting position, keeping her firmly in her position on his lap. This felt even better than anything else had. In this position, they could get closer to each other, feel more skin, hold each other tighter. It was just what they wanted. Abby moved her legs so they were wrapped around his back, pushing the pelvises closer together. John's lips traveled from her lips, down her neck, to her shoulders, where he found her bra straps were in the way so he pushed them off her shoulders. He moved his lips further down, down to her chest, where he gently kissed the tops of her breasts, nuzzled his face in her cleavage. He glanced at Abby, trying to gauge her reaction. He assumed it was positive, seeing as how her head was thrown back, her eyes tightly shut, and her mouth was hanging open ever so slightly, soft noises of what he presumed to be pleasure escaping her lips.
The sight was too much for him, so he returned his lips to hers once more, but kept one hand on her front, one hand on her back. He wanted to feel everything all at once and was cursing himself for not having enough hands.
Somehow, deep within the passion-induced haze in his brain, he realized that their hands were straying lower and lower than they'd ever dared before. In fact, they were each gently stroking the skin that lay hidden just underneath the waistbands of their pants. It slowly dawned on him what it where it was it seemed like the night was heading, and he didn't know if either of them were quite ready for that.
"Abby," he whispered, drawing his lips millimeters away from hers.
"Mmmm," she answered, chasing after him.
"No, Abby." He brought his hands up to the nape of her neck, gently holding either side of her face. "Open your eyes."
His request took a few moments to register, but her eyes slowly fluttered open. "What?"
He took a deep, calming breath before continuing. "I think we should stop."
She groaned in frustration. "No. Why?"
He sighed, resting his forehead against hers. "For starters? We've only been going out for, what? Five weeks?"
"Yeah," she mumbled.
"I don't know if we're really ready to make this next step. Not to mention that we're only sixteen, and if our parents, or my grandparents, found out that we did this, we'd be dead."
"So? Most adults only go out once or twice before sleeping with each other. And I know of people younger than us who care a lot less about each other who have done this. And how would they find out."
"They have their ways. They always have their ways. And just because other people have done it already doesn't mean that we have to. And I can give you one more good reason why now is not the right time."
"Oh, yeah? What's that?"
"You're not on the pill and I don't have any condoms."
She chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "You know, I think of all your reasons why we shouldn't do this, that was the best one." She sighed, and pulled away slightly so she could look him in the eyes. "Okay. We'll stop."
"For the record, I just want you to know much I want you."
"How much."
"So much that I can't see straight. So much that I'm not even going to be able to stand up straight for at least another ten minutes."
She grinned and pulled him into a hug. "Thanks." They were silent for a moment before she spoke up again. "Well, I think we finally really figured out why we're not allowed to be alone together."
John threw his head back and laughed. Abby joined in a few moments later, and their laughter could be heard echoing over the open field.
Oh dear GAWD. This was the hardest thing I've ever had to write. Mainly because I suck so much at this kind of writing. Gah. Oh, but I hope I did it justice. That was another reason why this chapter was so hard...making it believable, making it real. How far can they go without going too far? Oy. So not easy. Anyway, MAJOR shout-outs to Courtney, my partner in crime. I'm dedicating this chapter to her, too, but for entirely different reasons than the last one. She knows why. Hey...can you guys believe I got another chapter out so quickly? How unlike me is that? The next few chapters...hehehe. Those should be out in the somewhat near future. hehehehe...I'm laughing because only Courtney knows what's going to happen...hehehe...and she hates me already for torturing her like this. Have faith in me, though, guys...I'll get us all to the end of this, safe and sound if you promise to stick with me through this. And, I think I'm just babbling at this point. Yeah, so, that's all I got. Except...HI ALEX!!! WE MISS YOU OVER HERE!!!
