John and Abby walked around the edge of the high school football field, huddled in heavy jackets to shield themselves from the harsh late-fall wind. Though they were walking close together, side-by-side, they weren't touching. Their hands, which were almost always clasped together, were held tightly against their own bodies. To Abby, this distance between them, small as it was, spoke volumes.

For some reason that remained unknown to Abby, John had been acting very strange the past few days. She couldn't put her finger on it, exactly--he'd been holding her hand at school, kissing her between classes, keeping his arm draped across her shoulders at lunch, but he'd seemed...distant. Something in his demeanor let her know that something was on his mind.

They'd been dating for two months now, and aside from the fact that she felt she knew him very well--almost better than she knew herself at times--he wasn't acting like the same John as the one she'd spent almost all of her time with for the past year. Since they had started dating, not a day had gone by when they didn't at least talk on the phone for an hour or so. More often than not, when they weren't at school, they were together, even if it was just to do homework. Nonetheless, neither seemed to enjoy spending a day without some sort of contact with the other, so the fact that he'd only called her twice all week and she hadn't seen him at all after school confused and upset her more than she cared to admit.

She had no idea what could have caused this shift in him. He'd been fine all last weekend. They'd hung out with Susan, gone out on their own a couple of times, and even managed to find one of those rare moments when they were completely alone together. The whole time, he'd been his usual self. But on Monday morning, as soon as he'd stopped to pick her and Susan up for school, she could tell that something was on his mind. She'd figured that if something was bothering him, he'd tell her in his own time. She didn't want to push him. But here it was Friday, and she was starting to get a little freaked out. So, she'd been almost relieved when he'd called her up a few hours after school had let out that day and asked if she'd mind if he came to pick her up because he wanted to talk to her. She'd been kind of suprised that he decided to take her back to school to have this talk, but she figured that he had his reasons.

But instead of opening up, pouring his heart out as she'd expected him to, they'd been walking in absolute silence for over an hour. It was getting to the point of being absurd. She didn't mind at all taking a walk with her boyfriend at night on what had been one of the coldest days of the season so far; in general, she didn't care where they were or what they were doing as long as they were together. But this--being with him while he was obviously not here with her--was getting to be too much for her to handle.

Finally daring to break the stony silence, she managed to ask, "Is everything okay?"

He shrugged. "Yeah."

"Are you sure? Because you've been kinda...odd this week, and I've been a little worried--"

"I said I was fine, didn't I?" he snapped, not even sparing a glance in her direction.

She stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth hanging open ever so slightly, while he kept walking. Not in the entire time they'd known each other had she seen him get mad, and he'd never been anything less than wonderful to her. She didn't know how to take this at all.

A few moments later, he came to a halt and his shoulders sagged. He turned to look at her, a remorseful look in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said softly, walking back to her. "I shouldn't have done that."

Abby knew that she should tell him being pissy to her was, in fact, completely uncalled for, but she couldn't get her brain to function like that. All she knew was that something was bothering him and she wanted to help him fix it.

"John, what's wrong? Did something happen at home? Is everyone all right?"

"No, everything's fine at home."

She swallowed hard before asking her next question. "Well...is it me? Did I do something...?"

"No! God, Abby, you've done nothing wrong. You're one of the most amazing people I know. I don't ever want you to feel as if you're to blame for anything."

"Ooookaaaay," she answered slowly, more confused than ever.

He sighed. "It's me. It's all me."

"What's all you?"

He didn't respond. Instead, he just turned and continued walking.

Part of her wanted to run after him, beg him to tell her what was going on, but a bigger part of her wouldn't let herself chase him. He'd brought her out here, he'd said he wanted to talk. She wasn't going to punish herself for something she hadn't done.

"John, stop it. Stop walking away."

He turned to look at her, his eyebrows lifted in confusion.

"Don't walk away from me. And don't push me away. You said you wanted to talk, so talk. If all you're going to do is sulk like this, then I'm going home. I don't want to put up with this. If something's wrong, if something's going on, I want you to tell me about it. I want to help, but I can't if you shut me out like this. I'm your girlfriend, remember? I'm here for you."

Abby thought she saw a flash of pain in his eyes, but it was gone before she could be sure, and he sat down on the ground, burying his head in your hands. "You're right," he told her, hearing her walk to him, sitting beside him. "I know you're right. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

He shook his head and mumbled something that she couldn't quite make out.

She put her hand on his arm and gave a little squeeze. "John...please, talk to me. Please. I can't stand seeing you like this."

He looked up and found Abby's eyes looking imploring back at him. "Abby, I..." He buried his face once more. "I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" She received nothing but another shake of his head. "Can't do what?"

There was quiet for several very long minutes. The only sound that could be heard were the few remaining dead leaves, still clinging to their branches, rustling in the bitterly cold wind. Finally, he raised his head, but didn't look at her. He kept his eyes focused on something only he could see on the other side of the field. "Abby...I think...I think we should see other people."

Her entire body went stiff. The nervous fluttering that had been in the pit of her stomach for the past few days spread throughout her entire body, numbing her with shock. "What?" Her voice was less than a whisper, but as loud as she could manage around her suddenly closed-up throat.

"I think we should see other people," he repeated, his voice hollow.

"But...why? You just said that I hadn't done anything wrong and..." her voice trailed off, no longer able to find words.

"You haven't."

She felt her body start to shake. This couldn't be happening. She had no idea as to why it would be happening. It didn't make sense. Nothing was making sense. Her mouth opened and closed several times, but she couldn't think of anything to say.

"I think we just need to...I don't off a little. We've been so intense for the past couple of months, and I think that maybe we're pushing ourselves to go too far, too fast. Spending some time apart will let things die down a bit."

Abby was still at a loss for words. Too intense? Everything we've done has been mutual. No one's pushed anyone anywhere. Instead, she stood up and just started walking. She heard John get to his feet and follow her, but she didn't care--she just kept walking.

He managed to catch up to her, and put a hand on her shoulder, hoping for...something. "Abby..."

She whirled around, her body quaking so hard she could barely stand up. "Don't touch me."

"Please, don't be--"

"What? Don't be what? Don't be upset? You're kidding, right? You're breaking up with me!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Really? Then what exactly are you doing? Because it sure as hell feels like you're breaking up with me."

"I still want to see you, Abby. I just think it might be better for us if we're not exclusive."

"Is there someone else?"

John was honestly shocked. "What?"

"Is there some other girl you want to see? That's usually what 'we should see other people' means. It means there are two people you want to go out with, so you want to try to have your cake and eat it, too. If there's someone else, I'd rather you told me instead of giving me this non-exclusive bullshit."

"Abby...there's no one else but you."

She felt her heart wrench. "If there's no one else, then why are you doing this?" He opened his mouth to answer, but she cut him off. "Oh, that's right. We're too intense. There's too much pressure."

"Please...don't be like this. It's not like I want to sever all ties with you. I still want us to spend time together. I don't want to just cut you out of my life."

"Too late."

He looked taken aback. "What?"

"It's too late. You either want to be with me or you want to break up with me. I'm not doing this half-way. I'm not going to settle for being with you some of the time, when it's convienent for you, when you're not feeling pressured. I don't want to just be friends. I can't just be your friend, not after all of this."

"But...I don't want to...lose you. You're so important to me."

"If I'm so damn important to you, then why would you hurt me like this for no good reason? 'Too intense' is not a good reason. It's an excuse, and a bad one at that." She felt her eyes well up with tears, so she turned her back on him once more. Do not let him see you cry. Don't let him know that he can do this to you.

"Now who's shutting who out?" he said, anger tinging his voice.

She felt fury rise up within her, and it was probably for the best that she wouldn't look at--it was easier to be mad this way. "Don't you dare try to play that game with me. You just dumped me; what else am I supposed to do? You have no place to get mad. I'm sorry I didn't react the way you obviously wanted me to. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that it was okay, that I understand, that I'll be your girlfriend whenever you feel the urge, but it's okay that you want to see other people in between. 'Cause, I don't understand, and it's not okay."

"Well, I was hoping we could talk about this like adults--"

"For someone who wants so badly to be an adult, you're acting very much like a kid. A spoiled brat of a child. Someone who wants everything because what he has somehow isn't good enough for him."

"That's not true." The tone of voice changed from anger to pleading. "You're good enough for me. You're too good for me. I just--"

Finally, two tears spilled out of her eyes, cutting warm paths on the frigid skin of her cheeks, but she didn't wipe them away. She didn't want him to know that she was crying. "Stop," she whispered. "Just stop. Leave me alone."

John's shoulders sagged in defeat. Nothing about this night had gone the way he'd hoped, though he still wasn't sure what he'd hoped for. "Fine. If that's what you want, I'll leave you alone. I don't want to make you any more pissed off than you already are." They were silent for a few moments before he sighed. "Come on. I'll take you home."

"Just...just go. I'll be fine."

"What? Abby, no. I'm not just going to leave you out here like that."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I'll be fine on my own." She said it with as much conviction as she could muster, even though she didn't feel at all that she'd be okay on her own--not like this.

"No. I'm not--"

"Just go!" she yelled, all the hurt, the anger, the betrayal and resentment she felt at that moment erupting in those two words.

She felt him stand behind her for a while long until he finally seemed to realize that she really wasn't going to accept anything from him. She heard him walk away, but remained facing away from him. Eventually, she let herself turn around, confirming that he'd left. Then, and only then, did she allow herself to experience the pain. She drooped to the ground like a wilting flower, her heart aching so badly that she couldn't cry. She sat on the cold ground for a long time, holding her knees close to her body, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. She tried to tell herself that she hated him, that if he was going to be like this, she'd be better off without him. But she couldn't make herself believe it. Somehow, through the haze of her raging emotions, a lone tear trickled down her face. It was enough to break the dam. Suddenly she was sobbing and couldn't stop. And there was only one way to describe what she felt.

Heartbroken.