Castle wakes up and finds her standing in the doorway, her skin glistening with sweat. He catches her staring at him.
"Do you make a habit out of watching me while I sleep?" he smirks.
Kate tosses him a small smile, shaking her head. "I couldn't sleep so I got up early and went for a run to clear my head. I actually haven't been standing here all that long. You just looked so peaceful."
"Nerves about talking to Addison today keeping you up?"
She shrugs, moving to sit on the edge of their bed to untie her running shoes. "It's a lot of things."
Kate stands up again, kicking her shoes into the closet, and heading toward the bathroom to take a shower. She pauses in the doorway, tapping her fingers along the doorframe. She spins back around to face him.
"We're okay, right?" she asks, biting her lower lip.
He can tell now that part of her nerves stem from upsetting him.
"Yeah, we're okay," Castle tells her.
"Are you sure? Because if we're not –"
Castle pushes himself off of the bed and walks over to her.
"Kate, you and I are fine. Stop worrying about it," he tells her, running his hands up and down her arms.
She nods. "Good. I'd hug you, but I smell."
He laughs, brushing past her into the bathroom. "I need to shower too, might as well take one together. You know to conserve water."
She smiles, trailing along after him and pulling the door closed. "Right, I'm sure the conservation of water is exactly what you had in mind."
She sits in the conference room at the CPS office, nervously wringing her hands together. How do you go about telling someone that you're their biological mother, especially if that person doesn't know that they're adopted? She feels like she's going to be sick.
The door opens and she nearly jumps out of her seat. A social worker directs Addison into the room, and then closes the door behind her to give them their privacy. Kate can't remember the last time she was this nervous.
"Detective Beckett," the girl smiles, sitting down across from her. Kate swears she has the same smile.
"Kate. You can call me Kate."
She nods. "Right, Kate. Did you find anything?"
She stalls, pretending to interpret her question as a question about her parents' murder. "I'm sorry to say that the case is at a standstill. The guy just didn't leave any evidence behind. And all of the possible suspects we've come across have checked out."
Addison's smile falters and she shrinks down into the chair. "So this guy is just going to get away with it?"
"I won't let that happen," Kate tells her, already making promises she might not able to keep. "I'm still looking for the person responsible for my mother's death. I don't give up."
Her smile returns ever so briefly, before it fades away again. "What about my DNA? Were you able to find any relatives?"
She draws in a sharp breath, running her hand through her hair. "Addison, I have to ask. Did you know that you were adopted?"
Addison pulls on the string on her hoodie, fidgeting. "I had an idea."
"An idea?"
"I mean they never flat out told me, but I overhead the occasional conversation. I didn't want to believe it at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I just got the feeling that I didn't belong, that I didn't fit in. I thought about asking them about it a couple of times, but I didn't want to hurt their feelings. They were great parents." She twirls the string around the length of her index finger, using her other hand to wipe away a tear. "So you found them then? My biological parents?"
"Is that why you wanted me to run your DNA?" Kate asks, still avoiding. "Not to find long lost second cousins twice removed, but to find your biological parents?"
"I figured whatever family you found would be better than being a complete orphan," she shrugs. "So spill. Who'd you find?"
She exhales a breath she didn't even realize she was holding. "Your mother."
Her face lights up for a split second, but then falls again. "Really? Did you talk to her? Do think she'll want me even though she didn't 14 years ago?"
Kate opens her mouth to respond, but then stops herself when she feels the tears pricking her eyes. She's not going to start crying again, not yet. She clears her throat.
"She wants you." It comes out so softly, she's not even sure if Addison heard it.
The girl's eyes widen and Kate swears she can just see her mind racing with thoughts and possibilities. But then she shakes her head, snapping out of it.
"I'm sorry. You must think I'm a horrible person. My parents just died and here I am getting all excited about this woman who didn't even want me," Addison says, pulling on her hoodie string again.
"We all cope in weird ways," Kate tells her.
"How'd you do it? When your mom died?"
She takes a deep breath. "Well I was a freshman in college and I watched my dad turn into an alcoholic because he couldn't handle the pain of losing his wife, which apparently hurt more when he was sober. I dropped out of Stanford in California where I had been Pre-Law to move home to New York and take care of him. And then I decided that I was going to become a cop so I could solve my mother's murder. I guess you could say I'm still coping."
Addison gives her a small smile, wiping at her eyes again. "So what's her name? My mother?"
This is it. The moment of truth. Kate squeezes her hands together under the table. "Her name is Kate Beckett."
"But I thought that your name was –"
Kate looks her in the eyes for a second before dropping her gaze to her lap.
"You're my mom?"
She sounds so small and timid when she says it. Kate closes her eyes and feels the tears trickle down her cheeks.
"Yes," she says opening them. "When we ran your DNA, it came back with mine. You're the baby girl I gave up for adoption."
Addison sits back in her chair, looking like her mind is racing again. "If you want me now, why did you give me up back then?"
Kate scrubs a hand through her hair. "I was 19 when I got pregnant. It happened not long after my mom died. I was not in the right place in my life to care for a child. So instead I gave you to a family who I knew would take care of you and give you the life you deserved."
She's crying now too. "Were you ever going to come look for me?"
"It was a closed adoption. I couldn't."
"But if you really wanted to…" Addison trails off, shaking her head. "What about my father?"
"I don't know where he is. But he wasn't a very good guy though, you're probably better off without him."
"What about you?" she asks, softly. "Are you a good person?"
"I'd like to think that I am."
Addison wipes at her eyes again. "So what do I just pack my bags and come home with you?"
"We have a court date set for next week."
"A court date? For what? I'm your daughter."
Kate closes her eyes again as a sob threatens to escape. Her words, I'm your daughter, echo around in her head.
"It's just a formality," Kate assures her. "They'll grant me custody."
"This is insane," Addison says, standing up and starting to pace the room. "The detective investigating my adoptive parents' murder is my biological mother and to top it all off she's still investigating the murder of her own her mother."
"I know this is a lot…"
"You're damn right it is!" She flinches. "Sorry, darn right."
Kate shakes her head, almost laughing. "You're fine."
That seems to calm her down a bit and she quits pacing. "My parents hated it when I said 'damn.' Which, by the way, I never understood because I mean it's not like I use the F word."
A small smile creeps across her face. "I get that. I discovered the word crap when I was your age and loved throwing the phrase 'this is crap' around. My mother hated it. Said it wasn't ladylike."
That gets Addison to smile as well. "It could have been worse. I mean it's not like you were saying this is BS. But like saying the actual words instead of the initials."
"I know right? Parents, man."
The girl shakes her head, laughing.
"Listen, Addison –"
"Addie. I only get called Addison when I'm being yelled at or by the teacher's at school."
Kate nods. "Right okay, so Addie. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I wish I had been able to meet you under better circumstances. But this is where we are. Are you okay with the idea of coming to live with me and my fiancé?"
"Depends. What's your fiancé like?"
She smiles. "He's a great guy. Really supportive."
Addison holds out her hand and Kate stares at it for a moment before taking it. She shakes their joined hands.
"Thank you, Kate," she says when the social worker comes back in for her. "Thank you for giving me a home."
Castle finds her in the break room, stirring cream into her coffee.
"How'd it go?" he asks, pouring himself his own cup.
Kate smiles, holding the mug and allowing it to warm her hands. "There were a lot of tears, from both of us, but she doesn't appear to hate me."
"Well that's good," he says, reaching for the sugar. "Right?"
"She really reminds me of myself," she says, shaking her head and taking a seat at the table. "You'll have to talk to her and see if you get the same vibe."
"Don't say that," Castle says, taking a seat next to her. "I already managed to dodge the whole tattoos, piercings, and motorcycle thing once. I don't think I could handle a teenage you."
Kate glares at him over the rim of her coffee mug.
"Just saying," he shrugs.
"But you love my tattoo," she pouts. "You always pay it extra attention when you're –"
"Hey Beckett, we've got a new case," Ryan announces walking into the break room.
"A new one?" Kate asks. "What happened to the double homicide we've been working?"
"Gates is calling it. It's cold until something else turns up."
She exhales. "Fine. Where's the new body at?"
"It doesn't bother you that our latest victim looks exactly like Lanie?" Castle asks, taping up a box of her books at her apartment.
"Of course it does," Kate tells him, pulling more books off of the shelf.
"I mean I've heard everyone has a doppelganger out there but this is ridiculous."
"What's more disturbing is that our victim had plastic surgery to make herself look like Lanie. Not your average doppelganger now is she?"
"This is starting to sound more and more like Invasion of the Body Snatchers by the second," he grumbles flipping open her copy of his first Derrick Storm novel. "Hey, I signed this!"
She looks over her shoulder. "Ah yes my first official meeting of the infamous Richard Castle."
"Was I nice to you? Please tell me I was nice to you."
"You tried to hit on me."
"See? I was nice." He traces his index finger over the loopy script of his signature. "I don't remember writing this."
"You've signed a lot of books, Castle, don't worry about it."
"Yeah, but you're you. And the first time we met is different for you, a whole other memory."
"It didn't last long," Kate tells him, taking the tape from him to close up another box of books.
The color drains from his face. "I didn't sleep with you, did I?"
She shoves the box at him. "You tried to hit on me, Castle. Tried. You did not succeed."
He sighs, the relief evident on his face. "Good. For a second there I was worried you also had a different memory of our first time together."
"Did the phrase 'it didn't last long' tip you off?" she smirks.
"Hey!" he chucks the roll of tape at her. "I last plenty long thank you very much and you know it."
"You didn't last very long in the shower this morning," Kate calls over her shoulder, moving to the other side of her couch to get more empty boxes.
"You did the tongue thing!" he protests. "You know it makes me weak."
She grins, cleaning off the rest of her shelves.
"You sure have a lot of books," Castle grumbles, writing on the top of the last of her book boxes.
"Says the author."
He drags them over to the keep pile, which is oddly bigger than her give away pile.
"I don't think all of this stuff is going to fit at the loft," he tells her. "Especially since I have to stop using the guest room as a storage room."
She passes by him on her way into the kitchen, kisses him on the cheek as she goes. "It's called compromise, babe. You need to go through your stuff too."
"But I'm not moving," he tries to protest.
"No, but you're gaining two more permanent residents."
"You girls have too much stuff."
She raises an eyebrow at him, pointing the spatula she just picked up in his direction. "Excuse me? Do we need to get into a discussion about all of the weird memorabilia that you collect?"
"My stuff's not weird. Yours is." He pulls the creepy mask she had tried to seduce him in last year out of her closet and shudders. "Like this. Discard."
He tosses it into the give away pile.
"And who gave you the right to make that decision?" Kate asks, taping up a box of her kitchen stuff.
Castle walks back out of her room, carrying the remaining contents of her kink box that haven't made their way to the loft by now. "What about this?"
She peers into the box, her lips quirking up into a mischievous grin. "Definitely keep."
He grins back, setting it down on top of one of the book boxes. "And here I thought we'd already moved all of your toys over."
Kate smiles, moving to wrap her arms around him. "Thank you for helping me," she hums against his neck.
Castle kisses her temple and then rests his forehead against hers. "Thank you for agreeing to marry me."
"Haven't you already thanked me for that? You know the night before I left for D.C. and then again the morning before…"
"Hmm yes, I do recall that," he says kissing her.
He runs his hand up her back and she shivers. "We're doing this a little backwards you know, raising a kid before we get married?"
"We'll make it work, Kate. We always do."
