Gates gives her the day off. The day she was supposed to have before she went on an undercover mission and was tortured. She really doesn't like that word, but what else do you call what happened to her?

Kate finally manages to step out from under the hot spray of the shower, still trying to chase the chill out of her bones. The bathroom swirls with steam as she pulls her towel off of the rack and wrings out her hair. She steps over to the mirror and wipes away the condensation, staring back at her reflection. There are dark circles under her eyes from her inability to fall asleep last night. Scratches on her face: a gash on her forehead, a split lip, and bruises on her abdomen she doesn't remember getting.

She looks like hell. Feels like it too.

She traces over the scar over her heart with her index finger, letting her mind fill with thoughts she's chased away since becoming involved with Castle. She needs to end this war, make it safe for her family again.

There's a knock on the bathroom door and she knows it's him; knows that she's been in here an awfully long time trying to put herself back together. She's been scared back to the place where she was alone and didn't have him around, didn't want him around, to pick up the pieces. Silently, Kate opens the door to let him in.

He steps into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and trapping the heat from the shower. He stands behind her, eyes locked on hers in the mirror. His hand comes up, traps hers against her heart, against her scar. His other arm snakes around her bare waist, his neck bending to bury his face in her wet hair.

"You smell like cherries," he says softly.

She spins in his arms, clinging to his T-shirt as she lets the exhaustion of the past 24 hours finally sink in. He holds her there, cradling her against him.

"I can't do this anymore," she says into his shirt.

"Do what?" he asks, finger combing through her wet hair.

"Keep looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to strike again, being in fear for my life, for your life, for Addison's."

"We're all going to be okay, Kate. You're going to catch the guy who murdered her adoptive parents and lock him up for a very long time. You and Bracken are even now so he's not going to be bothering you for a while. His focus is his campaign right now, not you. And that flashdrive? It's probably nothing. Tyson…he's gotta be dead. He's not going to come after me, or you, or our family."

She wants to believe him, but she can't. She's still too on edge, too overly aware of her surroundings. It's the PTSD resurfacing. She should make an appointment with Burke. See if he can get her to breathe normally again.

A shiver runs through her, the steam starting to escape under the bathroom door, and her still standing there wet and naked. Castle notices, reaches for her robe off the back of the door, and helps her into it. He leads her back out into their bedroom, settles down with her on top of the comforter. She leans into him again, having realized that his touch helps ground her, to bring her back from the far reaches of her mind that threaten to drive her insane.

"How's Addison?" Kate asks, softly.

"She didn't want to go to school today, wanted to stay home with you. But I told her she'd already missed enough because of the suspension."

"I'm sorry I wasn't awake to help."

He places a kiss to her hairline. "I'm pretty sure you had just fallen asleep. I wasn't going to wake you."

She barely remembers sleeping at all, but she does recall waking up to an empty bed, panic gripping her until she smelled the coffee wafting in from the kitchen.

"You gonna be okay?" Castle asks, rubbing her back. "Want me to call Dr. Burke for you?"

She nods against his chest. "Yes to both."

He laughs a little, squeezing her shoulder.

"I wish I could have been there for you," he starts. "After you were shot."

"I wish I would have let you be there. I think pushing you away for three months, not admitting to my feelings, only made things worse." Kate shifts, cupping his face in her hands. "But you're here now."

He bends his head, lets his forehead rest against hers. "I feel safest when we're together. When I'm there and you're there, I just feel like everything's going to be all right. So when I wasn't there with you, when I didn't even know where you were…"

She tilts her chin forward to kiss him.

"I'm okay, babe. You're not going to lose me."

He tangles a hand in her hair. "I better not. I need you, Kate."

She hums, feeling sleep starting to take over. "I need you too."

A yawn escapes from her lips and Castle shifts them so she's lying down. He brushes a hand across forehead, moving away her hair.

"Try and get some sleep," he tells her. "You look exhausted."

She gives him a small smile, her eyes already struggling to stay open as her head hits the pillow. Castle continues to massage her scalp until she finally manages to drift off.


Kate wakes up alone again, the setting sun streaming in through the window. She sits up, pushing a hand through her hair which dried naturally into frizzy curls. She realizes she's still in her robe so gets out of bed to change into sweats. She stretches her arms over her head, shuffling out into the living room.

"Hey," Castle says, looking up from his laptop when he hears her. "Did you manage to sleep at all?"

"Yeah," she yawns, curling up into the chair by the couch. "I was out."

"I'm glad," he smiles. "No nightmares?"

She shakes her head. "None that I remember, but I really needed the sleep. They'll probably be back tonight. That is if I can manage to fall back asleep now that I've slept until –" She looks at the clock. "5 PM? Castle, why didn't you wake me?"

"You needed the sleep, Kate."

He turns back to his laptop, his fingers clicking away at the keys.

"Nikki?" she asks, noticing Addison appear at the top of the staircase and make her way downstairs.

Castle nods, not looking away from his screen.

"I'll leave you to it then."

She stands, brushing her hand across his back as she moves to meet Addison in the kitchen.

"How are you?" Addison asks, pulling down a box of Easy Mac.

Kate leans her hip against the counter, scrubbing a hand through her hair. "Better."

Addison sets the box down, spinning to face her, arms crossed over her chest. "You're lying."

"I'm not. You should have seen me earlier. I'm better."

"But not all the way?"

Kate sighs. "No. Still getting there."

"You're not going to tell me what happened to you last night are you?"

She shakes her head. "You don't want to know. Trust me."

The girl busies herself with making her dinner again, momentarily quiet.

"Want some help?" Kate asks.

"No, I've got it." She fills a pot up with water and sets it on the stove to boil. "What happened to your hair?"

Kate laughs. "I fell asleep on it wet. Your hair doesn't do this?"

She shakes her head, opening the box of Easy Mac.

"Castle tells me you wanted to stay home today."

"I thought you might need me," Addison shrugs.

A breath catches in her throat. "Addie –" She moves to her, drawing her into her arms. "I do need you. I never realized exactly how much until I got you back into my life."

Addison hugs her back tight. "I didn't either. Is something like this going to happen to you again?"

Kate feels her mind flash to the three cases that have been gnawing at her for weeks. She can't promise that it won't. Not with those people still out there. Not when she fears that there are people who want her dead. She lets her daughter's grip tether her back.

"I hope it doesn't," she answers, softly.

The water starts to boil over the edges of the pot and Addison rushes to go tend to it.

"What's your dance schedule look like next weekend?" Kate asks.

"I have rehearsal all Saturday morning. We're cleaning for our upcoming competition so I'm in for a long day."

"Cleaning?"

Addison nods, pouring the elbow macaroni into the water. "We go through the dance count by count and make sure everyone's together. Like step on one, kick on three, stuff like that."

"So do you want to hang out Sunday, just you and me?"

The girl laughs, stirring her noodles. "You make it sound like a date."

"It is. A mother-daughter date."

"I'd like that."

Kate smiles, moving toward her to place a kiss on the top of her head. "Good. Now don't burn yourself."

"You're such a mom," she groans, rolling her eyes.

"Trying to be."

Kate moves back over to the living room, sinking down on the couch next to Castle. "How's it going?"

She watches him hit save and close the laptop.

"Nikki and Rook just had a moment."

"What kind of moment?"

"You'll see," he grins.

She rolls her eyes, leans into him.

"You have an appointment with Burke tomorrow over your lunch. I assume you plan to go back to work already."

"Thanks for calling," Kate says, rubbing at his knee. "And yeah, I need the distraction."

"Kate –"

"It's not like I'm seriously injured. I'm fine."

He takes her hand on his knee and squeezes. "Are you?"

She leans over and kisses his cheek. "I'll go crazy sitting here all day. I need to be at work."

He tugs on her, pulling her into him. "I'm nearly your husband. It's my job to worry."

"I appreciate your concern, babe, but I plan to sit at my desk all day and get caught up on paperwork."

"Hmm sounds exciting. Mind if I stay home?"

Kate laughs. "I'll call you if we get a body."

Castle nods, reaching for the remote and turning on the TV. Addison comes in to join them with her bowl of mac and cheese.

"What does everyone feel like?" Castle asks, flipping through channels. "Action? Adventure? Sitcom reruns?"

"Find a comedy," Addison says around a mouthful of food. She swallows. "We could all probably use some laughter right now."

"I like the way you think."

Kate tucks her feet up under her, thinking that she should probably go make food soon herself. But for now, she's perfectly content.