A Baseball Player's Soul
Author's note (Update. /OCTOBER 25, 2013): Okay, forgive me. I rewrote bits of this chapter, as it seems that Shibiyan was out of character. Sorry about that. Anyway, chapter 4 is being written after being dumped in my computer's storage for months. Thank you for the reviews, follows and favorites over the inactive months 3 I love you, guys :D Enjoy this updated version of Chapter 3 :)
Summary: He wanted nothing but to hold a baseball within the grasp of his hands, but fear and trepidation would always hold him back, until she came along.
Chapter 3
The torrential rain has started hammering heavily on the school's baseball field as the team's pitcher threw the final baseball in an astounding momentum and the batter knocked it off the court in a trajectory. Judging by their amazing performance in the past weeks after the sports festival, it seems they are in their top-notch shapes in order to contend in the high school playoffs, but as I gaze at their expressions, they were somewhat ashen and dejected. They were not as vivacious and strong-willed as before, who were mildly knocking each other on the arms for fun after training.
After having a dreadful sprain on the sports festival, coach suggested that I ought to take a momentary break from club activities. Since then, I haven't visited the baseball players and helped in the managerial duties as much as before. Handing the last water bottle to one of the players, I sat beside our team's pitcher, Kitoh-kun, and looked at his face anxiously. "Did something happen while I was away?" I asked in a soft whisper. "The team seems wholly preoccupied with something. Will you tell me, please?"
As the pitcher gulped down the last traces of water from the bottle, a frown came upon his features. He slid his hand through his damp hair and heaved a sigh. "Ah. Coach did not tell you, then?" He murmured in reply. He craned his head at the side, and avoided the weary eyes of the other players. He leaned forward, as if he was afraid someone would pay attention to what he was supposed to say. "Our batter, Kyouta-senpai, will be leaving in a month's time. He does not wish to tell you this, since—well; you two were close in the club. Brother-sister, right? He couldn't believe that he is moving, as well."
"But—but, the launch of the high school baseball playoffs is in a month." I stuttered nervously. "We cannot find a substitute for Kyouta-senpai in a month's time! We do not have a batter who is as skilled as him, and the applicants—uh, never mind." Kitoh-kun laughed nervously and glanced backward. He threw his baseball cap at my face and gestured his index finger above his mouth, mouthing the word 'Quiet.'. Considering the circumstances, I was more horrified for the fact that Kyouta-senpai is leaving, not because we would have a vacated position in the club. He is, in any case, an older brother to me.
"We will find away." The Kitoh-kun mumbled, "We always do, right? In the baseball club." His weary frown morphed into a smile, and, by some means, a fraction of my worries flew away. I certainly remembered the circumstances where the baseball club was in an unbelievable pinch, but, by all means, survived it. From the edge of the bench, coach waved at me, beckoning me to come forward. I nodded at Kitoh-kun and jogged at the far end of the bench, at a distance away from the team, where the baseball club's coach, Wakabayashi-sensei was sitting with his phone on his ear.
He was in a disagreeable mood as he conversed on his cellphone. He ended the call abruptly and a string of curses flew off his lips, leaving me flabbergasted. "Uh—coach, is everything fine?" I asked in trepidation. "Can I help you with something?"
He leaned on the wall behind him. "No. Everything is a total mess, eh." He said between gritted teeth, and, somehow, I cowered in fear. "First, this matter with Kyouta and now our team's baseball uniforms. I couldn't possibly think of any solution regarding such matters!" Staring at him, I am terrified that coach would detonate in fury. But for a moment, he seemed to settle down, and just scratched the nape of his neck roughly.
"Is there anything I can do to help, then, coach?" I asked. Coach placed his hand on my shoulder and slowly angled me at the left. He pointed discreetly at the most remote area of the baseball court, and the proverbial crown of cobalt hair stood under the torrent, clutching the metal fence tightly. My breathing hitched slightly, and my heart immediately thrashed wildly inside the recesses of my ribcage. I looked away and glanced back at coach, who, like Shiba-kun, had a pensive expression. "Shiba-kun?" I asked, and I felt a weird spark the moment I spoke of his name.
"A bright, talented, young boy, eh. You see, my older brother was the coach of a particular middle school in town, and Shiba Katsumi was under his wing before. Seeing him now, I, myself, could not consider the fact he would quit the club after—uhm, a certain incident. " He said after a heartbeat. He pursed his lips in a grim line, and dropped his hands to his side. "That boy—so brilliant and capable in baseball. Now, we would not fancy his dreams trampled on now, eh. Yuna-kun, please do help me. Help Shiba Katsumi."
I stared at coach with a pair of widened eyes. How can I possibly help him? "You want me to help him? I—I mean, we possibly will not seize him into the team through force. He would not—like that. He might—hate it. We're just acquaintances, at any rate." I said disbelievingly. Coach placed his hands on my shoulder again, and craned his head at the side. He told me to look at Shiba-kun once again, now drenched and freezing under the rain, yet he still stood at the edge of the court, and rooted at the spot. "Tell me, what do you see, Yuna-kun."
I squinted my eyes at him, and it immediately took me back on that day I asked him to join the baseball club. What do I see? A man who wanted nothing else, but to step into the baseball court, feel the wind against the skin as he ran around the quad. Experience the momentum of a baseball hitting the bat or pitching a ball in amazing speeds. Yet, everything was all over his face: regret, fear. Whatever happened in the past, I am certain it does hold him back from his happiness.
Coach probably took my silence as an understanding, so he dropped his hands from my shoulders. "I know you completely realize, eh, Yuna-kun. My older was brother was struck in disbelief when he stepped off the team in middle school. Who is in the right mind to stay under this torrential rain while watching baseball practices? No one, right? Nonetheless, setting that matter aside," He mumbled apprehensively, then he had a cunning, devilish grin on his lips, and he pointedly told his tale of what he witnessed on the day of the sports festival. How Shiba-kun carried me on his back. I shoved his arm.
"Coach! Please stop making a fuss if you know something!" I answered back, and I was certain I am blushing every unimaginable shade of red. "You are so canny, I want to punch the living the daylights out of you!"
Coach chuckled hysterically. "Anyway, I do expect you to be free this weekend. This matter… about the uniforms."
I gently tugged the soaked baseball cap from my head, slowly loosening the damp and tangled hair in it. The torrential rain has picked up intensity as it gradually strengthened during the course of the baseball team's training. Coach thought that it would be most excellent to stop the training under such weather condition, so he dismissed us, roughly an hour earlier than the set time. Concerning the team's uniforms, well… I could not do anything about it, not when coach implored with all his might. The tailor may perhaps not transport those uniforms and at the same time, a practice match would take place by this weekend, so he informed me to pick it up by the end of the week.
Most unfortunate, I thought to myself. I happen to fail to notice my studies in the course of the team's trainings, so I have nothing to knock my brains off when the preliminary examinations take place in two weeks. I sulked at the thought, so, at the end of the training, in the wee hours of the school's dismissal, I settled on making a short trip to the library. Maybe I could take notes and references, one way or another. Once I pushed open the double doors of the library, I was taken aback of how empty it was, with a few exceptions of the typical school nerds.
I approached the desk on the front lobby, which was, unsurprisingly, empty. I took out the library directory and mindlessly began flipping through the pages, hoping to find a reference book for the next lessons. I regret having the notion that while I pursue a career in a first-rate sports university, I would not mind overlooking my studies. I discreetly grabbed a paper from the front desk and scribble the details of the needed reference books I managed to locate from the list.
Not long after, I found myself between series of rows and columns of tall bookcases and bookshelves, looming over my height. I turned to the first bookshelf at my right, where those chemistry books were located. I distinctly remembered a mortifying memory during one of Waka-sensei's lectures, where I inevitably fell in a deep slumber and he startled me awake by asking me a series of questions with answers such as these: dimethylglyoxime and such. I could always laugh at that thought. Quickly shaking off the funny memory, I scowled at the topmost row of the bookshelf. On the peak of the bookshelf were the thickest reference books, with hardbound covers, and one of those reference books is what I need.
I attempted to reach it with my fair amount of height, but no matter what I try; the maximum row that I might perhaps reach was the row underneath it. I tried bounding with my feet, except I landed on my newly-healed ankle, and I jerked back in surprise and a slight tinge of pain. Abruptly, a load of hardbound covered books threatened to collapse above me, when someone caught hold of them with a single hand. The scent of rain, fresh pine and men cologne immediately filled my senses and I knew who it was, even before I can see his face.
His arm was wrapped around my petite body, while his other caught hold of the toppling books. "A bit of a bookworm, eh?" He murmured in a calm whisper behind my ears, his breath warm and ticklish. Shiba-kun pushed the weighty books in position before he dropped his hold around me. He hastily distanced himself and leaned on the opposite bookshelf. His eyes were narrowed and I quickly looked away.
"Ah. Thanks." I muttered. I felt my face flushed with apprehension, my gaze glued on the carpeted floor of the library as shame and unexplainable shame washed over me. "For saving me."
"What books do you need?" He asked, stepping beside me, as he easily reached from the peak of the bookshelf. "I doubt you could reach it." A ghost of a smile formed on his lips, and twitched into a teasing smirk and I was instantly struck down to memory lane: his scent, his cool hands around me, gripping my body against the cold hard floor and the warmth of his—crap, I quickly shook out my thoughts.
"Well?" He asked, breaking my mental scolding.
"Oh, uhm." I took the small, crumpled paper from the pocket of my skirt. "The two books to your right. Oh, and the fifth one to the left." His smirked grew palpable as he reached for the hardbound books and tucking it easily under his arms. I stepped back from him, casually gazing at the books I was supposed to find, however I find myself wanting to distance from him. But somehow, I couldn't, so I kept returning beside him, where I can feel his warmth.
"Why are you still here, Shiba-kun?" I asked. He primarily handed me the books, but he grew a bit hesitant, and just led me to the nearby table, where we sorted out the heap of reference books.
"I napped." He answered. "Always do. It became a very awful habit, I think." He chuckled silently, as he took the seat beside me and placed his face against the palm of his hand. Shiba-kun looked at me with piercing eyes, that I quickly dropped my gaze on my knotted hands. He remained mute for a few, short moments, yet it stretched for nearly an eternity, in my case. His gaze albeit never left my face, his eyes were hollow and cold. I forced myself to breathe. It felt unnatural when he looked at me like that.
"You'll be getting sick if you continue sticking your nose in the library." Shiba-kun mumbled coolly. "Go home, Souma." The intensity in his voice made me quiver in fear and shame. He pursed his lips in a grim line as he eyed my drenched hair and uniform.
"I would if you tell me the truth." I answered, gripping the hem of my skirt tightly. It is because I never wanted to see his face that day again… the same face he made when I asked him to join us in the baseball club. The same face he had when he watched the baseball club during the course of their trainings. The same face he had when he was under the rain. "Why are you still here, Shiba-kun?"
He pursed his lips once more, and he scowled. "I told you." He answered shakily through gritted teeth. "I napped."
"You're lying!" I retorted back, and he immediately stopped moving. I managed to bring in a few distance between us, and he dropped his hand from my hair to the table. "Stop lying, because you always do, in order to protect yourself. But the truth is, the more you lie to me, to yourself, the more you hurt yourself!" I realized I began to raise my voice, and a group of students at the farthest end of the library were eyeing me suspiciously, but I don't care. I am far more concern to this man… to this troubled man, who would do anything to be of assistance to others, but not to his own bruised heart.
"What do you know?" He challenged, his hands were gripping the edges of the table so tightly, it began to shake. "What do you know about me, Souma?!"
I do not know what had happened before he purposely left his middle school baseball club. I do not even want to know. "I admit, fine. I don't know anything. However, no matter what had happened before, it does not change the fact that the person you were before had changed to what you are now. Forgive yourself, for heaven's sake. Because those members from the baseball club already forgave you long before, for whatever happened before. They're waiting, you know. The baseball club is." I said, after a heartbeat. His grasp on the table loosened and the shaking seized. His eyes began to soften, but it never took away the scowl.
I immediately stood up, and inelegantly gathered the books in my arms. "Shiba – kun." I murmured quietly. "Please. It would not hurt to make peace with the past. What matters most is what lies before you and the future." He reached for my hand, which was shaking hysterically. The books immediately escaped my grasp and clumsily toppled down the floor. Shiba – kun, by no means, spoke further. He just stood there, and it took a great deal of courage to gaze up at his frightened expression.
I was relieved enough to see a spark of hope in his eyes, the life his eyes once had, notwithstanding the dismal air his features was giving off. "We'll be waiting." I said, fully determined. "Always." I shook out of his iron grip and took hold of the books pooling around my feet. I took one last glance at him, and gave a final smile of assurance before I exited the library. I had my mind reeling with wishes that everything I told him would penetrate the walls of regret surrounding his fragile heart.
"Ah, this is bad!" Coach bellowed indecently through the crowd's outburst. His glare was menacing, but the other school's team shrugged off nonchalantly the string of violent curses that flew from coach's lips. "The other school's damn pitcher's throwing nothing but dead balls!"
Notwithstanding Kyouta-senpai's absence a few weeks back, the team managed to coach several initiates into batters in an acceptable level—er, Wakabayashi-sensei's level. Moreover, as far as the match was concerned, Hanegasaki's baseball club is winning the match… but if the opponent's team continues to thrown nothing but dead balls, we could lose this game. I shivered perceptibly, as another one of those well-trained batters fall on the ground with a revolting thump. I jogged as hastily as possible as he staggered halfway through the baseball field.
The other team laughed chaotically at the sight of those injured batters from Hanegasaki Academy's baseball team. "Hey, now! Who's the next batter~. Ah~, you guys are so wimpy!" The opponent's pitcher taunted from across the field. He tossed a baseball unto the air and imperturbably catching it, feigning his boredom and disgust. A few moments later, he pretended an earsplitting, insolent yawn that reverberated throughout the whole baseball field. As I dabbed several cotton balls on the scrapes of the team's injuries, from the corner of my eyes, coach was already fuming with anger as he called for a five-minute break. At this rate, with all of our batters deemed unable to play for another round, we will, indisputably, lose this match.
"Souma." A man with an impressive bass voice called gently from the metal fences behind the team. My heart pulsated in an insanely fast rate as Shiba-kun sauntered forward. His eyes were smoldering in fury. He stopped in front of me, and his scent immediately filled my senses. It was at that moment I began to understand on how much I missed his presence since that day on the library since I deliberately challenged myself to disregard him, but to no avail. "You look like you're at the verge of crying."
I trembled once more, much too noticeable. He placed his hands on my shoulders, his actions were perceptibly asking if I was cold but I promptly shook my head. "The pitcher from…" I said, my voice breaking, my hands tightening around the first aid kit. "The other school." He gritted back his anger as he shifted to my side, his warmth evenly spreading against my skin. "Pitcher?" He hissed in irritation. He rolled his eyes as he gazed at the field. "Him. Where have I seen him?"
"Wait—let's make this even more fun, perhaps!" The opponent turned his gaze at me, and a repulsive sneer came upon and painted his face. "Maybe if we win, we may possibly take your adorable manager for a day or too!" I took a step backward, my legs wavering at the aggressive stares they were throwing at me. He casually threw a baseball at my direction and I gasped in horror. My mind seemed to speed up and in that split-second, I understood that it wouldn't miss me.
"It's him!" Shiba-kun barked stridently as his shadow crossed in front of me and caught the baseball impending to hit me squarely on the face. I tilted my head to the side, and Shiba-kun's glower intensifies threateningly. He glowered dangerously at the pitcher across the school, emanating a precarious aura around him. "Souma?" He said attentively after a moment. Had he not softened his scowl, surely, I would have cowered in fear, but gladly, his expression immediately softened as he leveled his eyes with mine. His lips worked into a smirk.
"Y – yes?" I answered incoherently. He seemed to smile at the sight of my eyes staring back at his.
"Can you do something for me?" He asked thoughtfully, a grin on his face.
Author's Note: Happy two-week vacation, me! (:
