Asami squinted, gazing at the bowl of cheap noodles that Korra set on her counter. She bent over at the waist, both hands on the edge of the flat surface so that she could judge the recent purchase. In addition to the simple and easy-to-prepare foods that the Avatar generally asked her to keep around the mansion, Korra brought something new today. Each individual serving came pre-packaged, including a cheap bowl with a paper lid covering the top. Korra was already working on one of the packages for herself, leaving Asami to her own devices. Moments ago, Korra set out a tea kettle and began heating it. Asami, instead, read the instructions printed neatly on the side. "I think you're doing it wrong," Asami offered.
"No, no. I know the instructions on the side say something different, but this is a much better way to prepare it." Though Asami watched Korra with a quizzical expression, the bender acted as though she knew what she was doing. The younger woman moved around the kitchen to arrange things in a specific, meticulous way. She hadn't torn the paper packaging completely open, and was now standing next to the kettle, no doubt using some form of firebending to boil the liquid inside. Even though Asami already owned a gadget which did exactly that, Korra did have her own customs.
Asami stood up completely, finally deciding to pick up one of the packaged bowls. She caught the exposed lip and began to peel it back, but suddenly found Korra at her side. The woman made a quick slide to be next to her, reaching out with a hand to stop Asami from opening it. Asami's eyes grew in brief surprise, and she felt a faint chill when the hand clasped her wrist. She wondered momentarily what she was doing wrong. She was only following the directions. Had she offended Korra in some way?
"Here, let me show you," Korra spoke, taking on the tone of an instructor. While giving each step, Korra demonstrated with both dishes. "First, peel the lid back just enough. About a third of the way. Then, you pour in the boiling water." Upon saying so, Korra sidestepped and lifted the tea kettle, which vented steam from the spout. Asami watched her carefully measure the amount of hot water being poured into each bowl, filling nearly to the top. "Now, you close the lid, and…" Korra leaned to one side, lifting two pair of chopsticks from the counter, neatly placing each set along the top of both bowls so that the weight held the lid closed. "There. After a short wait we'll be able to eat."
Asami crossed her arms while listening to the explanation she was given. She elevated her brow, now actually impressed, but also intrigued. Her concentration locked on the dancing Avatar, who moved from one detail to the next. She spoke loudly and clearly about every single step involved in the process, as if it were something far more serious. Asami lifted one hand, fluttering her fingers in an expressive way. "I saw that the instructions said to remove everything and boil it in a pan. What makes you want to do it this way? Is there a difference?"
Korra stood up straighter, placing both hands on her hips in an accomplished stance. She had a much more attentive air about her now, and Asami could pick up that Korra was proud of her current ability to inform. "You dirty less stuff, and this way it cooks inside the bowl and keeps all the steam in." She leaned down to one of the noodle cups, tapping the top of it with a single finger. "The heat also seems to make the lid come off easier once it's all done. I guess that's a plus."
Asami hummed at the well-reasoned response. She actually expected something stranger coming from Korra. Her green eyes blinked past Korra and to both of the bowls on the counter, currently cooking the contents inside. "Where'd you learn so much about preparing cheap bowls of noodles anyway?" Asami noticed Korra rubbing her hands together. She hoped she wasn't putting Korra off by not sounding interested.
"In the store that sells them! Other customers hang out there, and they all have a different way of preparing theirs. Sort of a local custom, I guess?" Korra shrugged weakly, not pretending to understand why. "I guess it's just a fun thing to do, like swapping recipes or something."
"That's kind of strange, but go on," Asami said with a wave of her hand. The gesture, she realized, could be read as dismissive. She also didn't intend to sound so detached from the conversation. But her concentration began to wear thin. As much as she wanted to spend time with Korra, she felt antsy about something. She didn't know what.
Korra cautiously continued her train of thought. "Well, you can cook them in a pot, or in the bowl. There are a lot of different ways to do it, including adding extra steps. One guy swore on putting a chunk of ice in it after it cooked so it cooled faster. Most of them agreed that it tasted better if you included things like pork or tofu, or bits of cabbage. There are a number of spices that improve it, too."
Asami furrowed her brows in a perplexed way. She turned her hand over and extended a finger to point at the nearby bowls. "If you're going to use real ingredients, why buy the cheap stuff to put it in?"
The Avatar raised an arm, placing a hand on the back of her neck. "Well, it's—it's more about being creative, and—" She trailed off, lowering her shoulders in a defeated way. Her eyes drooped, face taking on a sadder expression. "Asami, is something bothering you? Or did I do something wrong? You seem kind of cranky. No offense."
Asami nearly got worked up over the barrage of questions and comments. She inhaled a breath of air and uncrossed her arms. But once she stood up all the way, she instead let out a heavy sigh. She averted her gaze toward the floor, and raised a hand to nervously pull on a loose strand of hair. "No. I'm sorry. I've been distracted lately. It's been a heavy week. I'm having trouble concentrating. It's not your fault."
Korra moved closer. She took several steps, closing what distance there was between them. Asami was closed-off, her arms tight against her body, standing with a guarded stance. Korra tried her best to lend comfort, settling on laying a hand on Asami's shoulder. Asami wanted to loosen up, to maybe lean into the warm hand close to her skin. But she was being stubborn, like a toddler simply deciding to be angry. She felt she deserved to vent. And she didn't want to be deflated so easily.
"What's on your mind?" Korra finally asked.
The question didn't help her temper at all. For Asami, it was more what wasn't on her mind: anything else. There was no rational way of explaining to Korra that she couldn't stop thinking about her, and she still didn't know why. Such an unusual revelation might cause a rift between them, especially if she couldn't defend herself, and Asami didn't want that. But there was nothing else she could say. Even searching her mind for excuses, she found no other answers. "It's nothing," she said quietly.
"Come on," Korra huffed. She quirked her lips to one side, now looking more frustrated than anything else. She tried to get through to Asami, but Asami wasn't letting her in. Korra clearly didn't appreciate being shut out, because she continued to stare at Asami. It made her uncomfortable. She wasn't sure of how to react. She couldn't tell the truth, but she also didn't like the prospect of disappointing Korra.
"Really, it's no big deal."
Korra placed a hand against her chest as she spoke about herself. "I have trouble talking about things sometimes, but I'm still working on it. You're stronger than I am. You should be able to discuss your problems openly."
Asami frowned. She didn't know what Korra meant or why she said it. It was almost like an insult, or a joke of some kind. "Me? Korra, you're the Avatar. You can do almost anything you want. You're so powerful and capable. You're in touch with the elements and the spirits and the whole world. People need you." Her arms flew into the air, expressing her irritation. "You're so special and wonderful, and I'm just—" She choked on her words, briefly. "I'm just Asami Sato."
"People need Asami Sato, too!" Korra replied. Her tone grew louder and more assertive. Asami's irritation was rubbing off on Korra; she could see it on the woman's face. "And Asami Sato needs to work through her problems just like everyone else!"
"It's just hard to talk about what I'm feeling!" Asami shot back. She relaxed her legs and took a wider stance, almost confrontational. It was difficult to hear those words coming out of Korra's mouth. Korra, who so often refused to talk about what was bothering her and tell Asami or anyone else what she was feeling. She would appreciate the irony more if she wasn't focused on wanting to smack some sense into the other woman.
"Now you know how I feel all the time!"
"Well, I'm sorry you have to deal with that!" Asami shouted.
"It's not your fault!"
"I wish I could help you with your problems, too, you know!"
"Why are we yelling at each other?" Korra screamed in an even louder voice. She was aggravated, but confused at the same time. The passion in the air elevated the situation to the point that neither of them knew why the other was yelling.
"I don't know!" Asami fell backward, her body slamming against the counter. She lowered her head and rested a hand over her face and eyes to shield them. She hissed air through clenched teeth, allowing the adrenaline to die down steadily with each breath. She heard the thumping of rushing blood in her ears. She wasn't mad at Korra, but rather at herself, and she felt ashamed that she'd allowed herself to be so upset over nothing.
Korra relaxed as well, also leaning on the nearby surface. She crossed her arms tightly against her chest and took on what was more of an indignant pout. She stared fiercely forward, not making eye contact. Asami didn't want to try and meet her gaze anyway. She was embarrassed about her childish behavior. Asami opted to sulk in silence, as punishment for letting aggression flare up. She was conflicted. The argument was paradoxical. She couldn't get Korra out of her head, and yet, when right in front of the woman, she could only start a fight with her. Stupid.
Asami accepted the silence between them, allowing Korra to be the one to break the ice again. Korra was the one she wronged, so she waited to be granted the right to speak to her again. Eventually, she was forgiven, and Korra turned her half-lidded eyes in Asami's direction. She softened her stance and spoke in a very quiet voice. "You know, I actually really admire you."
Asami allowed her hand to drop from her face. Her eyes lifted, timidly returning them to look at Korra next to her. She breathed, slowly, just to shake off the lingering bits of frustration she still felt. It tingled on her skin like a numbness before falling off. But the comment was taken to heart. Both hands wove themselves into her long, wavy hair to pull at it. "You do? Why?" she asked shyly.
Korra only shrugged. She held both hands out, with palms upturned. She returned the other woman's glance, letting Asami catch those blue eyes once more. It felt like ages since she'd really looked into them. "All the things you said about me, about being strong and connected with nature and the elements, that's all Avatar stuff. It doesn't count. It's not really me. Everything great about you is just you."
Asami found herself breathing more quickly. Not from anger now, though. She was calming, beginning to settle down. She loosened her tensed muscles and stood straighter, although her fingers remained in her hair. "What do you mean?" She was curious about the things being said. She wanted to hear what Korra had to say about her.
The blue-eyed woman tilted her head, giving Asami a strange glance, as if she didn't understand the question. "Well, you're really amazing. Think of all the things you've done. You run a huge company almost all by yourself. You've come up with so many things and made so many improvements. Not just inventions, but ways to get us out of messes like in the desert. You're also an excellent fighter. Nobody else I know could go toe-to-toe with benders like you do. You're smart, and pretty, and—" Korra trailed off, trying to think of more things to say. She was expressive, apparently having words on the tip of her tongue, but no way to form them into sentences.
Asami tugged more firmly on her hair. She wound it around a finger and pulled, making it bounce like a coiled spring. She knew her cheeks were red; she could feel it. She wasn't often subjected to such a barrage of compliments. "Thank you, Korra," she mumbled. It was all she could muster.
Korra sighed, transitioning into a less upbeat state. "You know I'm not very good at being open and honest. I still have flashbacks. And nightmares. It's just not something that goes away. It probably never will. A few years ago I just sort of shut down. The more I messed up, the more afraid I was. I didn't want to see anyone get hurt again. So I pushed everyone away, trying to do everything myself. I felt so stupid, and helpless. Before that, I thought I was the best."
"I still think you're the best," Asami said timidly.
"Well, I'm not," Korra replied. She exhaled heavily through her nose. After a long pause, Korra shrugged elaborately and continued. "If I wasn't the Avatar, I wouldn't have anything and I wouldn't be special. I wouldn't be able to help anyone. When people see me, they only see the Avatar, not me."
"I see the real you, Korra." Asami was exhausted trying to refute Korra's claims. She was better than she believed herself to be. It was just difficult to express. The right words hadn't been found yet.
"What's there to see?" Korra asked. She elevated a hand to her face, pinching between her eyes in a show of stress.
Asami stopped long enough in the conversation to untwist one hand from her hair. She bit her lip while considering the best way to respond. She had a lot on her mind, and a lot of things to say. So, she started slowly. "Your Avatar spirit gives you strong abilities. But it doesn't define your personality. You aren't sweet and caring because you're the Avatar. You look out for people and try to help them because you're you. Whether or not you could do all the things you've done if you weren't the Avatar doesn't matter. You still would've tried. At Jinora's ceremony, Tenzin said you were willing to sacrifice yourself for others. That makes you a wonderful person. And you've faced a lot of challenges. Without bending, without the Avatar state. You always kept fighting."
Korra nodded her head weakly to the speech. She flashed as much of a smile as she could manage before growing depressed once more. "As much as I worry about it, I also rely on my Avatar spirit to get me through everything. Sometimes I don't know if I can handle the responsibility. But I also know how afraid I was each time I lost a part of it. When Amon took my bending away, that was the worst I'd ever felt. I honestly didn't know how I could carry on after that."
"I seem to do okay without it," Asami offered. She half-smiled, trying to lighten the mood as much as she possibly could.
"But don't you ever get scared?" Korra asked in a tiny voice. "Not being able to bend?" Her gaze flashed to Asami as if to read her response. There was a hint of fear in the Avatar's blue eyes that Asami didn't like.
"I guess growing up without it made it easier," admitted Asami. "It's really not something I've thought about. It would be interesting; maybe even convenient. But it's never been something that held me back."
Korra managed a smile. It was momentarily uplifting. "Like I said, you're stronger than I am."
"I don't know if that's true. We both have our insecurities." After a pause in the conversation, Asami tilted her head to add, "Unless you meant physically. I'd kick your butt if you couldn't use bending!"
"You probably would," Korra agreed, chuckling for a second. She pushed a foot across the floor, awkwardly fidgeting while thinking of a way to proceed with the conversation. "I guess we're both a little messed up. But if there's anything I can ever do to make you feel better, let me know."
"I could use a hug," Asami suggested. She felt extremely vulnerable, unsure of exactly what to think at this point.
Korra obliged. She pushed herself away from the counter to embrace Asami. Korra's touch was instantly calming, stripping away the entire day's worth of built-up stress. The taller woman leaned into the contact, feeling both arms wrap around her middle. Asami clutched both hands to her chest, fingers laced together just under her chin. She wanted to close her eyes and just appreciate the warmth. Asami entered her own little world for those few short seconds. Several days worth of pressure and confusion were erased, and she selfishly wanted to remain in the safety that Korra offered.
Asami worried that Korra might release her and the sensation would simply drift away. She attempted to prolong the contact by returning the hug. She managed to move despite the squeeze of Korra's arms around her. She turned until her head dipped and rested against the crook of Korra's neck. A hand peeled away from her chest, easing down her side until it found Korra's wrist. Her fingertips slid across the back of her hand, gently clutching it in her own. Her other hand elevated, up past Korra's shoulder. She wanted to rest it there, but it wandered by itself, continuing higher. Her fingers curled when they touched Korra's cheek, drifting along her face.
Their hands touched before. Asami even held them, on a few occasions. But in the moment, she realized she'd never actually paid any attention to them. Korra was shorter, and stronger. Those attributes were reflected equally in her fingers and her palms. Where Asami's fingers were long and slender, Korra's were less so. And yet, her palms were soft enough that she could feel every crease. She expected them to be rougher, but they were still distinctly feminine and gentle. Korra was still a woman, after all.
Korra's cheek was soft, too. Softer than she believed it had any right to be. She delicately touched the other woman's face, almost experimentally, just to see how it felt against her fingertips. Silk was the only thing that came to mind. Each digit ventured calmly across Korra's jaw line, then further up to her cheekbones. Her thumb lightly touched the skin at the edge of tender lips. She focused so much on the tiny details that it startled her when she felt Korra's mouth move to speak.
"Um, so, the food—"
Asami nearly fell to the ground when Korra removed her arms and the support of her body with a single step. She expected the warmth of the embrace to drain instantly and leave her with an unbearable void in her stomach. But it didn't. Nothing left her. She still felt stable and comfortable. It was unreal; her breath wasn't elevated and her mind was clear for a change. It felt wonderful.
She caught the burning red on Korra's face and the confused stammering in her voice. Asami didn't understand what transpired, but she knew what she needed to say. "Sorry, I zoned out. I was daydreaming," she said calmly. The peace in Asami's voice and demeanor worked to visibly relax the Avatar. The awkwardness that built between them began to rapidly disintegrate. Korra's normal color returned to her cheeks, and she moved away to check on the bowls of noodles on the countertop in silence.
Asami stayed where she was, watching Korra move and work. She tried to process her actions. She didn't know what she was thinking, if she was thinking at all. In the moment, her mind was blank. It's possible she missed Mako, for as long ago as that was. She didn't miss him on a conscious level; that relationship was over. Emotionally, she recognized that she desperately needed the comfort and the affection. She didn't have anyone who could offer her that anymore. But she created an uncomfortable tension when her mind wandered. She went too far before realizing what she was doing. Korra already forgave her, but she wanted to clear the air nonetheless. "I apologize if I embarrassed you, Korra. I don't know what I was thinking, but my mind was somewhere else."
Korra was busy swirling a hand in the air over the bowls. As best Asami could tell, she was warming the water up again. The long conversation and argument left the noodles plenty of time to go cold. When spoken to, however, Korra upturned her eyes and flashed a reassuring smile. "It's all right. You actually just scared me." She stopped long enough to consider the next few words. "I wasn't sure what you were trying to do."
"Me neither," Asami responded with a snicker. Korra laughed along with her, and they both appreciated the small shared moment. "So um, can you salvage the food?"
"I think so. I'm just warming it back up." She turned to look down at both bowls in consideration. She captured a pair of chopsticks from the top of one bowl and drew the lid back with her fingertips. She stirred the soup with the wooden sticks for a few seconds. Afterward, she lifted and pulled them apart with a sharp snap. She caught both sticks in her palms, quickly rolling them back and forth between her hands.
Finally, Korra surrendered the prepared soup. When the bowl was pushed closer, the nonbender stepped forward to accept the food and the eating utensils. Korra followed the same process with chopsticks of her own, breaking off any potential splinters before use. Asami watched for a moment, then looked down at the food laid out for her. She stopped herself from digging in straight away, instead looking up at the other woman. "So, does this conclude our session in noodleology?"
Korra paused, already holding a mass of noodles in the air with the sticks. She hummed at the question. "Oh, I suppose it does?"
Asami folded the hand holding chopsticks into a fist and held it in front of her chest. Her other hand came to rest the palm against her fist, and she bowed respectfully by dipping her head. "In that case, thank you for the lesson, Sifu Korra."
Korra snickered, clicking her teeth together and starting to grin. She dropped the collected noodles from her chopsticks in order to wave them in a circle, pointing them in Asami's direction. "You don't have to make fun of me."
"No, I had fun," Asami assured her. She began to blow on the hot food, taking her eyes off Korra and laying them back on the task in front of herself. "We should do this again." Asami felt much better now. Whatever unrest she experienced earlier in the week was over. She hoped that she could return to a state of normality and enjoy spending time with Korra as they'd done in the past. With some luck, it could be like old times. Maybe a hug was all she needed.
"We can do it again tomorrow if you want," Korra offered.
Asami slurped a mass of noodles from the bowl before giggling at the suggestion. "I don't want to eat this every day. But it's not bad."
"See, I told you you'd like it."
