Addison mindlessly twirls a spoon around in the cup of hot cocoa she made, unable to get her mind to rest. The drink is out of season, but she's not yet a coffee drinker and she just needed something warm to try and chase away the chill that's haunting her. So much has been going on and everything has been happening so fast, that she's easily allowed herself to fall into the role of becoming Kate and Rick's daughter. She's let herself start calling them mom and dad even, and it feels almost natural. But the adoption is getting finalized tomorrow; it makes everything real.

She takes a sip of the rapidly cooling drink, wondering if she should put it back in the microwave. She feels like she never got to properly mourn her parents. Like she was all too excited to find her birth mom and learn that she still had a family without them, that she pushed them out of her mind. They barely even received a proper funeral, with the gruesome state of their murder and everything else that had been going on. And she had stupidly tried to tell Kate that she didn't even want one, thinking that if they were buried without her present, she wouldn't be forced to continually think about them. But she'd gone to their makeshift funeral anyway, her eyes looking anywhere else but at their graves.

She feels like a terrible daughter.

"What are you doing up so late?" Alexis asks, stepping into the loft after her night out with friends.

"I could ask you the same thing," she mutters, watching as the last marshmallow disintegrates into the liquid.

"The bars close at two," Alexis explains, sitting down on the stool next to her. "What's your excuse?"

"I can't sleep," Addison tells her, clinking the spoon against the side of the mug.

"Big day tomorrow, huh?"

She almost wants to ask her what she knows about situations like this. Remind her that the people she's always known to be her parents are still alive. That even her two step-moms are still alive. But she bites back her snide remark, knowing Alexis is only trying to be nice, trying to be her older sister.

"I guess it's just really hitting me that my other parents are really gone," Addison says softly. "And I focused so much on trying to be okay without them, to welcome Kate and even Castle in as fully as I could, that I entirely missed the window to mourn them."

"That's not true. It's okay to miss them, Addie. They raised you."

Addison takes another sip of her cocoa and nearly spits it back out with how cold it's become.

"I love Kate, you know that, right? And your dad, but –"

"Tomorrow makes everything real?"

She nods, standing up to dump out the rest of the cold liquid.

"You're allowed to love all four of them. Miss the ones that you lost, be thankful for the ones that you have," Alexis tries to tell her.

"I know that," Addison starts, spinning around from the sink. "I just...I don't know how to explain it."

"Look, I know nothing about what it's like to lose a parent, but we both know someone who does."

"Yeah, but Johanna was the only mom she ever knew. She didn't have to try and figure out how to handle gaining a whole new set of parents."

"You seem to be doing pretty well with it so far," Alexis shrugs.

Addison sighs, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back against the sink.

"Yeah, because when I first met Kate, I told her that I'd always had this idea in the back of my mind that I was adopted because I didn't fit in with my family. And then meeting her, seeing how alike she and I are…I finally felt like I fit in. So I adjusted. And then these first couple of months, with people getting kidnapped and disappearing and going on dangerous undercover missions, things haven't been normal. They haven't slowed down. And now that they have, it's like I realized I forgot about my adoptive parents. Like I got so caught up in worrying about Kate and her job, and trying to be there for her when she lost Castle, and worrying about him, that you guys instantly became my family. There was no transition period, it just happened."

Alexis moves over to the sink, pulls the girl into a hug.

"We are your family now. And I'm not a Psych major or anything, but I think what you're feeling right now is perfectly natural. You've been through more in the past couple of months than your average 14-year-old should have to. But I really think you should to talk to Kate about all of this. She'll know what to say."

Addison pulls out of her embrace, nodding.

"I can tell why people call you the adult in the family," she smirks.

Alexis laughs. "Having Kate here helps. She's able to rein Dad in more than I can sometimes." She starts to guide her over to the stairs. "Now and try get some sleep, sis."

Addison gives her a small smile as she grips the railing. "Thanks, Alexis. I guess I'm pretty lucky to end up with a big sister like you."


Addison leans in the doorway to the master bathroom, watching as Kate curls her hair.

"Do we have some extra time before the adoption hearing?" she asks.

Kate looks at her through her reflection in the mirror. "We have some time. Why?"

"There's something I want to do first. Something you might not be too crazy about."

She watches her mother put down the curling iron and flip her hair over to unseparate the curls. Her gaze meets her reflection again as she straightens back up and finger combs through her hair.

"What did you have in mind?" Kate asks.

"I want to go to the cemetery."

Kate finally spins away from the mirror, but she doesn't say anything.

"I just…I want to say goodbye, you know?" Addison continues. "I don't feel like I ever really got to. And now that their case is solved and I've settled into this family –"

Kate puts her hand on Addison's shoulder, stopping her. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. We'll go."

"I just don't want you to think –" she starts in a rush.

"I don't," Kate cuts her off. "I understand. Things have been moving practically at the speed of light since you joined us. I've actually been wondering how long it would take you before you started missing them again. So we'll go. I can even introduce you to my mom if you like."

Addison gives her a small smile, nodding. "I'd like that."


She stares down at their twin headstones, feeling oddly cold on this hot summer day. The words 'beloved mother' and 'beloved father' stare back at her and send a shiver down her spine. Her eyes trace over their last name. Holdredge. She's been Addison Holdredge for 14 years now, but it doesn't feel right anymore. It's not who she is.

She turns back around to Kate, who's standing a couple paces back, giving her space.

"Mom?"

Kate's eyes refocus on her daughter and away from the bird she had been mindlessly staring at.

"Which sounds better? Addison Beckett or Addison Castle?"

She smiles, thinking about it. "You don't have to change your name if you don't want to, you know."

Addison looks back down at the graves. "It just doesn't feel right anymore to be Addison Holdredge. I like the idea of being a Beckett. But if you have more kids, their last name will be Castle and Alexis' last name is Castle. I'd like to match my siblings."

Kate steps closer to her, rubs her hand over her back. "You've got a couple hours yet, keep thinking about it."

Addison looks back down at their headstones. "I've been trying to figure out why it was so easy for me to just move on from them. But then I remembered this morning that they weren't good people."

Kate scrunches her eyebrows together in confusion, her hand still resting on her daughter's back. "What do you mean?"

"My mom…my other mom, she always wanted to be a ballerina but said she was too uncoordinated for it. That's why she put me in dance. She wanted to live her dream through me. But she put so much pressure on me. I slipped and fell at a competition once and she was so upset with me she made me cry with all of her screaming and yelling. I was eight. She only ever accepted perfection. And my dad, he wanted me to play sports. He tried putting me in so many different ones when I was little and I hated every single one. I'm a dancer. It's what I'm good at; it's what I'm built for. All those National Titles and he was never proud. He didn't understand that dance is a sport or appreciate how hard it really is. That's why you and Castle – Dad – are such a breath of fresh air."

She pauses, wiping at her eyes.

"I had this panic attack to Alexis last night. About how I felt like I never properly mourned them. And now I remember why I didn't. They were abusive. They never hit me or anything, but their constant judgment is the reason why I became such a perfectionist. They were constantly putting me down, making me feel like I wasn't good enough. Last night I had myself feeling like crap for not missing them more than I do. But standing here, seeing their graves…I have it so much better with you and Castle and it makes me feel like an awful person for even thinking that."

Addison breaks down crying and Kate scoops her up in her arms. She holds her against her chest, rocking her back and forth as she cries.

"You're not an awful person, Addie," Kate whispers into her hair. "You're human. I'm so sorry I left you with those people."

"It could have been worse," she says softly. "They could have been physically abusive."

"Yeah, but it could have been better too. Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

The girl shrugs, wiping at her face. "I didn't want you to blame yourself. And I'm making it sound worse than it was. They could be really nice too. I just…I'm not happy that they're dead. I won't go as far as to say that. But I am happy that I found you. I belong with you, with this family."

"You're absolutely right, kid," Kate says, hugging her tighter. "You're finally home where you belong."

Addison thinks about how right Alexis had been as she sinks further into her mom's embrace. Talking to Kate did help; it even managed to chase the chill she'd been feeling since last night away. Maybe it had just been nerves after all; the fear of officially leaving one life behind for another.

"Come on," Kate says softly, pulling out of the embrace and tugging on her arm gently. "Let's go meet your grandmother."


Johanna's tombstone had read "vincit omnia veritas" which Kate explained was Latin for "truth conquers all." She'd said it was even more fitting now that they finally solved her murder. Addison liked that. She liked that phrase a lot. Even more so since it had special meaning to her mom. She told herself she was going to remember it and use it someday. She just wasn't sure how yet.

They're all gathered at the courthouse now, ready to make the adoption final. Addison pulls Castle aside before they enter into the courtroom.

"What's up, kid?" he asks, when he feels her tugging on his sleeve.

"I just wanted you to know, that I intend to take your last name. If that's okay with you."

She watches Castle's face light up. She imagines that's what he looked like when Kate agreed to marry him.

"It's more than okay, Addison Castle. Welcome to the legacy."

She groans, rolling her eyes.

"You know with that eye roll, you might be better off self-claiming yourself as a Beckett," Castle jokes.

"You better get used to it, Dad. If you and Mom have kids, Mom and I won't be the only Castles giving you that eye roll."

He laughs, guiding her into the courtroom. "You trying to tell me it's genetic?"

"Well I managed to inherit it without having known Mom for 14 years. Just think about how that'll work out with the kids she actually raises."

"Nah, you're already our Mini Beckett. What we need now is a Mini Castle."

Addison laughs as she steps into the courtroom. "Tell that to your wife."

Castle fake pouts, walking in behind her. "You're gonna give me hell, aren't you?"

She pats him on the back. "Don't worry, Dad. I won't come home on the back of any boy's motorcycles. Mostly because, I'll have one of my own."

She skips off and hears him muttering something about Rebel Bex behind her. Addison smiles to herself as she takes her place besides Kate and Castle eventually manages to catch up to them. This is where she belongs. This is home.