Chapter 4

Mac stared out the car window as big, fat raindrops hit the glass.

"Hey, you awake?" Harm asked as he drove the rental car down the highway.

"Huh?" Mac said, turning to look at him.

"Never mind…. You okay?"

"Yeah," she sighed, leaning her head back against the seat. "Just thinking."

"About what?" Harm asked, turning to look at her as he stopped at a red light.

"Stuff," Mac replied, then turned her head away from him.

"Care to elaborate?" he snorted.

"Not really."

Harm sighed as the light turned green and he quickly proceeded through the intersection. "Mac, I would like it if you were open with me all the time, too," he said finally.

"It looks like we both have some issues to deal with," she replied.

Harm nodded his head in agreement. "Mac, I want you to know I," he began, as he looked over at her.

"HARM!" Mac yelled as a car pulled in front of them, horn blaring. "Maybe you should keep your eyes on the road," she added, taking a deep breath.

"Maybe you're right," he replied quietly, easing his foot off the accelerator. They drove the rest of the way to the hospital in silence.

"Alright," Harm said as he put the car in gear and removed the keys from the ignition. "You ready to do this?"
"Yeah, I just want to get it over with," Mac said. "You don't have to come in with me," she added, looking over at him.

"Yes, I do," he replied, opening his car door.

"How did I know you were going to say that," she mumbled, stepping out of the car and into the pouring rain.

"Nice weather!" Harm shouted as they ran through the parking lot, water pouring down on them.

"Just great," she answered as they reached the door, completely soaked. Harm swung the door open, pushed Mac inside, then stepped in himself. Mac shivered as she approached the desk, trying to smooth down her wet hair with her hand.

"Burr," she commented to Harm as he walked us beside her.

He nodded in agreement, placing an arm around her shoulders.

"Sarah MacKenzie," she said to the nurse.

"Ah, yes," the nurse replied. "Thank you for coming back today…. These are the papers…." she said, handing Mac a clipboard with a stack of papers on it. "And I need to know where you want the body sent," she added looking up at Mac, waiting for an answer.

"D.C." Mac stated.

"Washington D.C.?"

Mac nodded. "Yes."

"Alright. Do you have the name of a funeral home there?" she asked, turning her attention to her computer.

"No, I hadn't really thought that far yet…." Mac replied.

"That's alright," the nurse said, entering something into the computer. "Here's one we have in the computer….. It's right outside D.C., near Bethesda. Will that do?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'll print out a copy for you," the nurse said, typing something else on her keyboard. "Now, if you will please complete those papers…… I'll get you both some towels, too," she added, noticing the water dripping off Harm and Mac and onto the floor.

"Thank you." Mac smiled at the nurse, expressing her gratitude, then turned and looked around the lobby. "Where can we sit?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the woman said as she got up from the desk. "Follow me please, we have a nice quiet room…."
Mac turned and followed the nurse down the hallway, Harm two steps behind her.

Mac hugged the towel she had around her arms and shivered in her chair. She released her grip on the pen she had been holding and massaged her cold fingers. Her clothes were still wet and the air conditioning in the building was creating a draft.

"Mac, you're freezing," Harm said, walking over to her.

"I'm f…fine," she said, teeth chattering.

"Right," Harm mumbled as he sat down next to her and wrapped his arm tightly around her back.

"Umm," she sighed, snuggling closer to him.

"Better?"
"Much." She sat studying one of the papers in front of her, then picked up her pen and began to write. "You want me to fill out some?" Harm asked.

"If you can…." she said, fingering through the pages. "Here, try this one…. It's not too detailed."
He nodded and took the paper from her, reading through its contents.

"Uh!" Mac groaned as she picked up another page. "I can't do this!"

"Yes you can," Harm said, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. "You're strong."

Mac gave him a puzzled look, then let out a small laugh. "That's not what I meant," she said, looking up at him, shaking her head. "I don't have an answer to half of these questions!" she added, picking up the paper and shaking it lightly.

"Oh," Harm replied. "What are you having trouble with?"
"Everything," she mumbled, then began to read off questions from the page she was holding. "Regular doctor, place of residence, phone number…. PHONE NUMBER, Harm! I don't even know my own mother's phone number!" she cried.

Harm pulled her into a hug. "Don't worry about it…. I'm sure the hospital has most of those answers in their records."

"That's not the point, Harm! I'm such an awful person…. An awful daughter! I should have contacted her. I had the chance to get to know her after my dad died… and I didn't…. and," she choked back a sob. "And…. Dammit, now it's too late!"

"It's okay," Harm whispered into her hair, trying to calm her down.

"I'm awful," she mumbled.

"That is NOT true," he said, pulling her away to look into her eyes. "You care so much about everyone you know and you're the best friend I could ever hope for," he added as he wiped a tear from her cheek.

She leaned into his hand. "I don't deserve you, Harmon Rabb," she said quietly.

"No, I don't deserve you," Harm responded, leaning closer to her face. Their lips were centimeters apart, and Mac could feel Harm's warm breath on her face. She licked her lips in anticipation and ever so slowly felt Harm's lips begin to push against hers. Suddenly, the door opened.

"Hum um," the nurse sounded, clearing her throat as she entered the room.

Harm and Mac quickly pulled away from each other.

"Excuse me. I just thought you could use some coffee," The nurse set two styrophome cups on the table. "I'll let you get back to what you were…. Umm…. Working on," she said, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind her.

"Thanks for the coffee!" Mac called after her before looking back over at Harm.

They stared at each other for a moment. Harm slowly reached up and brushed his thumb across Mac's lip. He sighed deeply. "I guess we should finish this… umm…. Stuff," he said, looking down at the papers on the desk.

Mac took a deep breath, her eyebrows raised and her lips still tingling from Harm's touch. "Good idea."

1302

ST. VINCENT'S HOSPITAL

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA

Harm stepped out of the men's rest room and looked around the hallway for Mac. Deciding she was still in the ladies room, he leaned against the wall. Whistling quietly to himself, he waited. "Where is she?" he thought. As he glanced down at his watch, a nurse stepped out of the rest room.

"Excuse me, Ma'am," he said, catching the woman's attention. "Was there anyone else in there?"

"No, sir," she replied.

"Thanks." He turned and walked away. "Where do I look?" he thought, scanning the various doors that lined the wide hallway. He stopped in front of a large wooden door that was slightly ajar. He quietly pulled the door open the rest of the way and stepped into the dimly lit room. When his eyes finally adjusted to the lighting, he saw a large wooden cross handing from the back wall. "A chapel," he thought. He turned to leave, but stopped when he spotted Mac, on her knees, in the second row of pews.

Harm's eyes filled with tears as he watched her. She had her hands folded and was looking up at the cross. He saw her mouth silent words, then rest her head on top of her hands.

Quietly, Harm walked up and knelt beside her. She raised her head to look at him as he folded his hands and closed his eyes. She brushed a tear from her cheek and reached over to put her hands on top of his. He grasped her fingers with his and they sat together in silent prayer.

2025 EST

MARRIOTT HOTEL

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA

"Thanks for dinner, Harm," Mac said as they walked into the hotel room.

"Sure," he replied, locking the door behind him. "It's been a long time since I bought you dinner." He offered a small version of one of his 'flyboy' grins. "Well, I guess I should see about getting me a room."

Mac walked over to an end table and set down her purse. "Would you stay with me?" she asked, quietly, not daring to look him in the eyes.

Harm looked across the room at her. "Umm, sure." He cleared his throat. "I'll sleep on the couch."
"No, Harm. You have the bed, I insist," she looked up at him, finally. "After all, I am the one making you stay with me."

"No, way, Mac. You need the rest more than I do." He folded his arms across his chest.

She opened her mouth to protest, but instead let out a large yawn. "Fine. I'm too tired to argue tonight," she said, heading for the bedroom. "I'll get you a blanket and a pillow."

2345 EST

Harm rolled over on the sofa and pulled the blanket around his shoulders. He was beginning to feel very stiff. He had just closed his eyes as a piercing scream sounded through the room. "Mac!" he thought, jumping from the sofa and bolting into the other room.

"Mac!" he called, standing over her. Her head was shaking back and forth on the pillow and she was yelling at the top of her lungs in both English and Farsi. "Mac!" Harm called again, this time kneeling on the bed and stroking her cheek with his hand. "Mac, wake up!"

Suddenly, she sat straight up in bed, breathing hard and still yelling. She reached out and pulled Harm towards her, burying her face in his chest.

"Shh," he soothed, holding her close.

"God, make it stop!" she screamed.

It dawned on Harm that she was still between sleep and alertness. Pulling her back a bit, he yelled again, shaking her lightly. "Wake up, Sarah! It's okay! I'm here… wake up!"

"Harm!" she called out as her eyes flew open. "God, don't leave me, Harm!"

"Shh, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, you're safe, he said, holding her close once again.

Mac tightened her grip on his shirt, but her breathing slowed a bit.

"Nightmare?" he asked, rocking her back and forth.

She nodded into his chest. "I've had it before," she mumbled, finally. "Several times."

"What is it? Sometimes if you talk about it, it goes away."

"Not this one." Mac took a deep breath, then complied. "I'm standing on a cliff, looking over. Then all the sudden I feel someone push me over the edge. I fall for a long time before I see Sadik's face. It's like I'm falling into his head…. Then I hit the ground. As I lie there, I look over and I see you lying next to me… and…. And you're covered in blood." She paused, gripping Harm tighter. "Half your face is gone…. There's so much blood….." a sob escaped her lips.

"Shh," Harm whispered, pulling her into his lap.

"Oh, Harm, I don't want you to die too…. I couldn't go on!" she cried.

"Nothing's going to happen to me, Mac."

"You don't know that," she whispered.

"I won't leave you Mac, I promise."

An hour passed before either of them moved. "Mac?" Harm whispered.

When she didn't answer, he realized she had fallen back to sleep. Slowly, he lifted her off his lap, then stretched his aching legs.

At the loss of contact, Mac woke slightly and opened her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he answered, scooting her under the covers. "Go back to sleep."

"Don't leave." She grabbed his hand.

"Alright. Just let me get my pillow," he added and she released his hand. He returned a moment later, laid down next to Mac and covered himself up with his blanket. She snuggled up next to him and closed her eyes.

0647 EST

MARIOTT HOTEL

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA

Mac awoke to the sound of raindrops hitting the window. She yawned and looked around the room, then at Harm. His head was tilted back, one hand resting on his cheek and the other hand resting on her waist. She stroked his cheek gently before slowly picking up his wrist, looking at his watch. "6:47." She sighed, then wiggled out of bed, trying not to wake Harm.

Mac walked out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, clean and dressed. She dug around in her suitcase until her hand hit her cell phone. "Airport, please," she said quietly, walking to the other room.

"Okay, thank you." Mac snapped her phone shut a few minutes later. She smiled, leaning her head against the doorway, watching Harm sleep. He had rolled over while she was in the shower, and his head was covered with the blanket. She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the blanket away from his head. "Harm," she said softly. "Time to wake up."

He stirred then turned and blinked at her. "What time is it?"

"07:30."

Harm groaned then closed his eyes.

"I'd let you sleep longer, but our flight leaves in an hour."

"Our what?" he asked, quickly sitting up.

"Our flight," she repeated, louder this time, letting her fingers wander to play with a stray strand of his hair. "I just called the airport and the only flight back to DC today leaves at 08:30."

Harm reached up, grabbing Mac's hand (which was still playing with his hair). "About yesterday, Mac."

Mac pulled her hand away. "You don't have to Harm…" she said, her body stiffened as she rose from the bed.

Harm jumped up and grabbed her by the shoulders. "That's not what I meant," he said quietly, wrapping his arms around her and holding on tight. The clock on the nightstand caught his eye… it was almost 0800. "But we don't have time for this now," he whispered into her hair, placing a kiss on top of her head. "I'm gonna shower," he added, releasing her.

She turned to look at his retreating form, a small smile spreading across her lips.