All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer
The weather outside seemed to fit my current mood, gloomy, as I drove down the road. It had been almost two weeks since Edward had tried talking to me. He hadn't so much as looked my way since then. I was beginning to wonder if I had truly offended him. I had got what I wanted. I should be happy, but I couldn't help feeling disappointed, and a little guilty for my behavior.
I wanted to apologize to him, but I was intimidated. It was clear he wanted nothing to do with me. Not that I blamed him. I wasn't really that interesting. I had hoped that maybe we could have been friends, but after the second day of him ignoring me I knew that even that wasn't going to be possible.
I sighed sharply annoyed with myself, as I got out of my truck, slamming the door shut behind me. I was due for yet another check up with my doctor. I had promised my mother I would go twice a month.
I had been feeling especially tired lately, and I knew Dr. Spencer would not be pleased. I had already decided that I was not going to mention how faint I had felt today. He would force me to under go more testing, and I was not up for that. There was nothing he could do to help me, so why bother with the testing?
I greeted his receptionist with a smile. She checked me in quickly and told me to have a seat. I did not have to wait long before he called me in.
"Good afternoon Miss Swan. How are you today?" He asked motioning for me to have a seat.
"I'm ok. How are you?" I hedged.
He ginned. "I'm well, thank you."
"So, how are you really feeling?" He eyed me seriously. He knew I was stalling.
I sighed. "I'm tired…really tired."
He nodded his head as he made notes on my chart. "Are you experiencing any more pain?"
I shook my head. "No more than usual."
He nodded again, and continued with his line of questioning. He was not pleased to discover I had lost more weight, and he once again scolded me for not eating properly. I just hadn't been hungry, but I promised to do better. Thankfully, he did not need to perform any blood work since he had taken care of that with my last visit. By the end I was ready to leave.
As I got up from the examination table I felt a wave of dizziness wash through me. I shook it off not wanting to alarm the doctor. I took a deep breath and steadied myself before I said my final goodbyes and walked out the door.
By the time I was halfway down the hallway I was covered in a cold sweat, and my heart was racing. I convinced myself that I just needed to sit and rest for a few minutes-it would pass. I stopped, leaning my arm against the wall as I closed my eyes taking deep steady breaths.
"Bella?"
No, this was not happening. This was not happening. What was with him and hospitals?
"Bella?" I clearly heard Edward's beautiful voice coming closer, thick with concern.
"Carlisle." I heard him call, as he got closer.
I shook my head, trying to clear it. I did not want him to see me like this. I did not want anyone to know. I pushed off from the wall and plastered a smile upon my face just as Edward came to stand before me.
"Edward, what are you doing here?" I asked trying to keep my voice even, but even I could hear how weak it sounded.
"What's wrong?" He asked, blatantly ignoring my question.
"Nothing." I insisted firmly. I saw Dr. Cullen approaching and I groaned inwardly. I attempted to walk around Edward to escape, but I was too weak and faltered. As the floor grew closer to me everything became unclear. The last thing I remembered was feeling something cold wrap around me, then everything went black.
I frowned at the annoying beeping I could hear in the distance. It had woken me, and I was still so tired. I moaned softly as I tried to remember where I was. My hand felt funny. Everything was so unclear. I remembered going to school, and then I had a doctor's appointment. I got really dizzy and then….
I gasped opening my eyes quickly to find that I was still in the hospital attached to a heart monitor with an IV in my hand. That was where the beeping was coming from. I looked around the room and found Edward leaning against the wall smiling at me. He seemed totally at ease. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, and one leg was bent with his foot resting up against the wall.
I blushed, remembering he had been there when I had fainted.
He pushed off from the wall and came to the foot of my bed. "You gave me quite the scare." He admitted sheepishly, as if it were something to be ashamed of.
I looked away embarrassed. I hated being weak. More than that, I hated that Edward had seen me so weak.
"How are you feeling?" He questioned in a soft voice.
I sighed. "I'm fine." I answered as I sat up in the bed. I tried to keep my eyes diverted from the IV in my hand. I hated needles.
"You're not fine." He said sternly. "Bella, you just fainted."
I pursed my lips angrily. What did he care? He had ignored me and treated me like a leper the last few weeks. It was none of his business.
"I said I'm fine."
It was quiet for a few minutes. You could feel the tension in the room rising. I refused to tell him anything. I was not about to trust him with my secret.
Just then the door opened revealing Dr. Cullen followed by Dr. Spencer.
"It's nice to see you awake." Dr. Spencer said while he looked at my chart.
"Can you take this dumb heart monitor off me now?" I pleaded.
Dr. Cullen smiled warmly. "In a little while, not just yet." His voice was almost as beautiful as his sons.
I frowned, groaning inwardly.
"So Miss Swan…" Dr. Spencer began.
"Wait." I cried raising a hand to stop him. "Do they have to be here for this?" I asked gesturing towards Edward and his father.
"No." He answered shaking his head slowly. "If you would rather they leave…"
"Yes, I would." I answered quickly, again cutting him off.
Without another word Dr. Cullen and Edward walked out of the room shutting the door behind them. I sighed as I turned my attention back to Dr. Spencer.
"You have not been eating." He accused.
I looked down as my cheeks turned red. I started playing with my fingers nervously.
"This does not help with your Leukemia. Your blood sugar was dangerously low. You're lucky Edward was there to catch you before you hit the floor."
I nodded in reply without looking up. Another pang of guilt hit me as I remembered how rude I had been to him only minutes ago. What was wrong with me? He had been so nice to me. Why did I always act so defiantly around him?
"You need to eat at least three meals a day."
I looked up about to defend myself when he held his hand up to stop me.
"Three complete meals. Not half a sandwich, or a few bites of toast."
I nodded glumly.
I watched as Dr. Spencer sighed and came to sit next to me in the chair by my bed. "I know it can be hard. You just have to make yourself. Your body needs all its energy to fight this. Keeping yourself hydrated is most important. It will help ward off feelings of nausea."
"I know." I whispered looking down and playing with a strand of my hair.
It was silent for a few minutes. "I want to see you next week at the same time to check your progress."
"But…"
"No buts." He said raising his hand. "I want to make sure you are eating, and run some tests."
"You already did that this month." I protested. I could hear the beeping of the heart monitor pick up as my heart started to race.
"Calm down." He sighed. "If you have not lost any more weight and seem to be in good condition next week I will postpone the testing all right?"
"Thank you." I whispered relieved. "When can I go home? My dad's going to start to worry."
He glanced over at my IV bag, which was almost empty, and then back at me. "I will send a nurse in to remove your IV and the heart monitor. You can leave once she is finished."
"Thanks Dr. Spencer. I will see you next week."
"Take care Miss Swan." He smiled as he left me alone in the room.
I was relieved when the nurse came in and freed me from all the devises I had been hooked up to. I happily thanked her and got up from the bed. I hated to admit it, but I was actually feeling much better.
I shrugged into my jacket and opened the door to leave, but stopped short as I looked at who was sitting across the hall. There sat Edward Cullen smiling at me. It was the most beautiful crooked smile I had ever seen. It took my breath away. I shook me head trying to clear it as he got up and came to stand in front of me.
"Are you feeling better?" He asked softly.
"Yes, thank you." I breathed. I smiled. "And thanks for catching me."
He grinned. "My pleasure."
I turned to walk down the hall and was joined by Edward. I bit my lip nervously as I searched for something to say. It did not escape my notice how close he was walking to me. All I had to do was move my arm ever so slightly and we would be touching…
"I've arranged to drive you home." Edward explained as we exited the building, pulling me from my thoughts.
"I have my truck, but thanks." I declined.
"Bella, I don't think you are in any condition to drive right now." He said seriously raising an eyebrow at me.
"I'm better now. I'm perfectly fine." I argued.
"You just fainted, and you are not fine." He insisted arrogantly.
I clenched my hands into fists angrily. "You don't know anything!" I spat.
I saw his face harden for a moment, but it quickly cleared. His eyes turned soft. "I know you don't eat, you look exhausted most of the time, sometimes you are in so much pain, from just walking, that you want to sit down and cry."
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. Tears welled in my eyes as he continued.
"I know that you put on a good act. You are sicker, and in more pain, than you let anyone--even your family--know."
Silent tears ran down my face as I looked into his eyes. They were so gently and caring. I watched as he lifted one of his hands to my face and hesitantly wiped away a single tear. His hands were like ice, yet my face felt on fire where he had touched me. My skin tingled in its wake.
He knew.
"Please let me drive you home?" He implored, his voice smoldering. I couldn't remember how to breath as his eyes bore intently into mine. I couldn't speak. I could only nod. He smiled triumphantly and led me to his car. He held the door open for me and closed it once I was settled.
His car was very nice, with leather seats. As soon as he was in the car he turned down the radio and turned the heat up. I couldn't help notice what was playing.
"Clair De Lune?" I asked curiously.
"You know Debussy?" He asked obviously surprised.
I shrugged. "Not well." I admitted. "My mother likes to play classical music around the house. I only know my favorites." I ended sadly. I missed my mother terribly.
"It's one of my favorites, too." He mused staring out the windshield.
I nodded and turned my head to look out my window and watched as the town passed by in a blur. At times like this I regretted my decision to leave, but I couldn't be selfish. It was for the best. She deserved to be happy, and to live her life. But I couldn't think about that now. I needed to find a way to convince Edward not to tell anyone. All my careful planning would be for nothing if he let it slip that I was sick.
"You miss her—your mother I mean." It wasn't a question more of an observation.
"Yeah." I sighed looking down at my hands in my lap.
"Why did you move here?" He asked gently.
I looked up to discover that we were already parked in front of my house. I decided to ignore his question. I was not ready to answer him--at least not truthfully--not yet anyway.
I turned to face him as I unbuckled my seat belt. "Edward, please don't tell anyone." I pleaded. "I'm not sure how much you know, or how you know, but please don't tell anyone that I am sick."
"I promise." His voice rang with sincerity, and I felt oddly comforted by his words. I smiled in return, before I turned to open my door.
"Thank you again." I muttered softly. He smiled widely, stunning me for a brief moment. I thought I heard him chuckle, but I wasn't sure. I shook my head back and forth to clear it as I shut the car door.
Thankfully, my father wasn't home yet so there was no need to explain why I was so late getting back. I quickly entered the house and started making dinner. I made sure to make a complete, well-balanced meal. I would be damned if I was going to let Dr. Spencer use me as a pincushion again.
For the second time Edward Cullen starred in my dreams.
