We arrived at Chinatown. The janitor pointed us to the head office.
(I can't write down Chinese accents. So just imagine it with all your brain power that wasn't mangled by hours upon hours of taking care of pets that don't exist)
"Why have you come to my town Adam and Donna?" said the president.
There was an awkward silence, but then I asked.
"How did you keep the triads out of here?"
"I gave them things they wanted pacifically."
A man across the street in a black suit opened up a garbage bag and pulled out…
"OH MAN!! He gave us a Nintendo 64!"
"Alright! This is gonna be a great evening!"
"Anyway," started Donna. "We came here because Todd…"
"WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!" Shouted the Janitor. "You actually read my nametag!?"
"Well…" paused Donna. "Yeah… I mean… It is your name."
"You don't understand!" after all the years of working at Neopet's, nobody has called me Todd!"
"Well you don't do much" I put in. "All you really do is set the date and clock on the VCR and clean up the bathrooms after Burrito night."
"But there is more to it than that!" said Todd. "I have to clean up the interns salty tears of failure and the emo's intentions to use their Keyboards as razor blades to cut away their pain. I mean… DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET BLOOD STAINS OUT OF CARPETING!!?"
"No Sir I do not". Said Donna.
"I do." Said the President.
"Well it is VERY hard!" finished Todd. "And after I clean up, they say "Hey thanks Janitor".
"Thanks Janitor?" asked one of the Presidents Body guards.
"Well most of the interns can't read." I said.
"Even if they can't read they could have at least asked for my name!" Shouted Todd once again. "How about if I don't clean up anymore of their messes!?"
"NO!!" yelled Donna. "The third floor will be knee deep in salty blood, Pickles and Snowflake will strangle each other after disagreeing with the time and date on the VCR and two days after Burrito night, THE BUILDING WILL EXPLODE!!"
"Explode?"
"Yeah it happened back in 2001," I said. "We just used the corpses of the dead interns in the terror mountain plot and propped them up on strings. Unfortunately snowflake's bride was impaled on a molten sink faucet, sending her into a mass depression, now she won't take off her brides dress."
"Oh so that's why she won't take it off!" said Todd. "Well she should, it's covered in cobwebs and last years steak dinner."
"Annnnnnnnyyyway!" said Donna. "We came here because Todd saw you last night in the vicinity of the secret hatch that contains our Cocoa cola stash!"
"Aw yes," said the President. "Yes it is true. I was in the Neopet's building last night. But not for the coke, but to find a bathroom because the one at the burger king across the street had a dead rat in it. I couldn't find the bathroom so I just used a drawer."
"SO YOU'RE THE GUY WHO TOOK A CRAP IN MY DESK!!" Yelled Donna.
"Yes I am, Todd pointed me in the right direction."
"TODD!!?" yelled Donna. "WHY!!?"
"Because you haven't paid me in ten months!"
"I'm not in charge of the paychecks," she said. "Adam is."
Todd stared at me.
"Well…" I stuttered. "I WAS going to give you your paycheck… but every time I though of Gears of War and Call Juarez. And… I always went on Game spot to watch the videos and awe at the screenshots and I never actually paid anyone in ten months."
There was a silence.
"Really?" asked Donna.
"Yeah," I'm the only one who's been making anything. The only time I ever did pay anyone was when I mixed up the paychecks with over ten million dollars in monopoly money."
"Will you people stop interrupting!?" said the president coldly. "Okay! Donna! I took a dump in your desk! Chill out! The Dudesons took a crap in their neighbor's mailbox and he only whined for five minutes!" (I DON'T KNOW WHY ALL THIS IS UNDERLINED!)
Donna was about to say something, but didn't.
"But I did notice someone else leave the office shortly after me and Todd left."
"Who?" Me and Donna asked.
"It was…" started the President.
"The governor."
"THE GOVENOR!!?"
"Of California."
WILL ADAM AND DONNA BYPASS SECURITY AND TALK TO ARNOLD? WILL ANYONE CALL TODD BY HIS REAL NAME? DOES ANYBODY KNOW HOW MUCH FAT IS IN THE BURGERS AT BURGER KING? GREASE KING IS MORE LIKE IT! AND DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHO THE DUDESONS ARE?
TUNE IN NEXT EPISODE!
