All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

Author's note-- To answer some questions. Edward is not attracted to Bella's blood like in Twilight because she is sick. It smells different to him in a good way, but nowhere near as potent as it could be.

Yes, he can smell from her blood that she has an illness.

Yes, he knows she has Leukemia. (Even before she told him.) BUT he wanted her to admit it. It would have been creepy if he knew all of a sudden. She would not have trusted him. He is attracted to her, and feels a strange sort of connection towards her that he cannot explain. He has an overpowering drive to protect her and keep her safe.

Yes, he is now watching her sleep. He is trying to figure her out. He can't read her mind, which frustrates the hell out of him. He is starting to develop feelings for her, and it is overwhelming. These feelings are foreign to him; all he knows for sure is that he wants to be around her as much as possible. He wants to help her, look after her—he is drawn to her in a way he never felt before. She makes him happy in a way he never thought possible. He gets anxious when he is not near her, and feelings of jealousy consume him when the boys at school hit on Bella. In short he is basically in love with her, but doesn't quite know it yet.

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I moved my doctor's appointment to Saturday. Edward had been diligent about picking me up for school every day this week, but I didn't want him to take me to the hospital and wait around for me.

I flipped through a few magazines as I waited to be called. I hated to admit it, but I missed Edward. Part of me wished I hadn't changed my appointment so he could have taken me.

"Miss Swan the doctor will see you now."

I followed the nurse into his office and sat down. To my surprise he was already sitting behind his desk waiting for me.

"Hi." I smiled.

"Hello, and how are you doing today?"

"Fine."

He smiled, but his eyes were tense. He directed me to an examination table where he preformed my check up. To my relief I had gained one pound. There would be no need to do further testing.

I hopped down from the table once he was done and took my seat again expecting to be excused for a few weeks.

I was wrong.

He looked down at my records for a short moment before he looked back up at me. There was concern deep in his eyes and I began to worry.

"Isabella." He began. "We got your results back from the tests we ran a few weeks ago."

"And?" I prodded anxiously.

He sighed. "It appears your condition has worsened exponentially." He shook his head. "It is not clear why. I'm afraid the prognosis is not good. If things do not slow down, if you don't start responding to treatment again…there won't have much time left."

I sat frozen in my seat as I took in everything the doctor was telling me. Not only was I dying, but now I was dying faster? Treatment again? How was I supposed to go through that again? What if I still didn't respond?

"How long?" I chocked out after a few minutes of silence.

"There are still many things we can do. I don't want you to lose hope—not yet. I want to try some different medicine on you. You might respond to these new drugs better."

"How long?" I asked again my voice a little stronger.

He sighed. "A few months, six at most."

I nodded. Six months, six months and then I would be dead in the ground. I had already accepted my fate, but that was when I had a year still to live. Somehow having my time cut in half panicked me. There wasn't enough time for me to do everything I needed to do. It wasn't fair dammit! I was too young! It wasn't fair!

"I want to start treatment as soon as possible." Doctor Spencer said pulling me from my thoughts.

"No." I whispered. If I only had six months to live I would not spend them sick in bed.

"Miss Swan, think about it. It's the best chance you have. Get back to me next week when you've had a chance to discuss things with your family more."

I nodded knowing I would never tell anyone. There was no need to worry them needlessly. This was my burden to bear. I needed to be strong for them.

Wordlessly, I got up from my seat and walked out of his office, not bothering to set up my next appointment. Somehow I managed to make it to my truck and drive home. I was still in a daze as entered my house and walked to my room. I spent hours sitting on my bed staring at the wall. I needed to get a grip on my emotions before Charlie got home. He was off fishing with an old friend of his, Bill Black, and wouldn't be back for a little while yet.

At least I had this weekend to adjust before school on Monday. "No." I whispered as my thoughts turned to the one person I had let in, Edward. How was I going to tell him? Should I even bother? Tears filled my eyes. I was in too deep. I couldn't deny how I felt about him. I was falling in love with him. I knew that for sure. I didn't know what to do. Part of me yearned to call him and have him comfort me, to feel his strong stone arms around me. But I knew I couldn't. I had to distance myself from him before things got too bad. It wasn't fair for me to involve him, not that I was truly being fair before, but now that I had only a few months…I couldn't allow him to get attached to me in anyway. I cared for him too much to allow him to be hurt by me, even if it wasn't my fault.

I closed my eyes wiping the silent tears that had fallen down my face, and walked downstairs knowing what I had to do. I picked up the phone and dialed his number. He had given it to me a few days ago for emergencies. Now was as good a time to use it as any. It rang twice before someone answered.

"Cullen residence." A soft angelic voice said.

I paused briefly.

"Hello?"

"H-hi." I stuttered. "Is Edward home?" I asked in a weak voice.

"No." I heard hear her say in an amused tone. "He's off with his brothers this weekend. May I take a message?"

Maybe it would be easier if I didn't talk to him. "Could you tell him Bella called, and I will not be needing a ride on Monday?" I debated briefly. "Could I maybe have his cell number so I can leave him a message?"

"Sure." She quickly raddled off his number and I thanked her before hanging up. She told me he would be out of the area and would not receive my message until Sunday night. That was exactly what I was hopping for.

I dialed his number as I gathered my thoughts. I had to sound convincing. I swallowed hard as I heard the beep and took a deep breath. "Edward. This is Bella. I just wanted to tell you that I don't want to be friends anymore. Please leave me alone. Don't call, or come over again. I am sorry for misleading you in anyway, but it's just better this way. I'm not a good friend for you. Please try to understand and respect my wishes. Goodbye."

I fell to the floor as my breathing increased. Pain I had never experienced before cursed through my body. I had begun to heave great sobs without realizing it. I pulled my knees to my chest and rocked slowly back and forth.

I had been so selfish. I had only been focusing on my needs when it came to Edward. I had needed someone to talk to. I had needed a shoulder to cry on. I had needed to be near him--but no more. I swallowed hard chocking back my tears. I was going to go back to my original plan. I was going to keep to myself, and live my life out quietly involving as few people as possible.

I took a few deep breaths trying to hold back the tears. Normal, I had to act normal at least until tonight. I couldn't afford to break down now, I didn't know if I would be able to stop if I started again.

I slowly got up from the floor and opened the refrigerator. It was time to start supper for Charlie.

"Hey Bells." I heard Charlie call from the front door just as I was putting the finishing touches on supper.

"Hey dad." I replied trying to remain upbeat.

"How was the doctors appointment?"

I shrugged. There was no need to tell him it would only cause him more pain and worry. "Same old, same old. Nothing new to report."

He nodded as he made his way into the living room to check on a game that was playing.

We ate in silence. I wasn't the best actress and Charlie noticed something was bothering me. He tried asking me what was wrong, but I lied saying I was only tired. I excused myself as soon as I could and went to my room not bothering to shower. I collapsed on my bed as I let the misery I had been pushing away all afternoon consume me.

It wasn't fair! It just wasn't fair! I covered my face with my hands as my body shook with my sobs. Why me? What had I done that was so terrible? Why was I being punished so harshly?

I cried myself to sleep that night. The next morning my eyes were heavy and dry from all my tears. I laid in bed until late afternoon trying to figure out what I should do.

I was spiraling into a black pit of despair and I didn't know how to escape. I had been through this before, but it was different now knowing my time had been cut in half. Knowing I finally had a reason to live, not that I didn't want to before. My life in Phoenix was happy, but could be lonely at times. Never before had I felt so connected to someone. I had always been sort of an outsider. My 'friends' had all but abandoned me once they found out I was sick. I had only my mother. Even then I refused to share my true feelings with her for fear of hurting her or making her worry.

Only with Edward did I truly feel I could be me. He made me feel completely safe. I felt as though I could confide in him my deepest of fears and he would still be there no matter what.

More than anything I felt guilty. Guilty, that I had allowed him to get close to me and become my friend. I was incredibly selfish. I took comfort in knowing that at least I had ended it. We had only been friends for a few weeks, it's not like we were best friends or anything. I'm sure he thought I was some sort of freak for leaving him that message and calling his house. I hoped he did, then he would leave me alone and I wouldn't hurt him.

I was positive my feelings were deeper for him than his for me. I was just some girl who seemed weak he felt obligated to help. I would always cherish the kindness he showed me. He had made me feel like a real person for the first time in a very long time.

I looked out my window and noticed the sun setting. I dreaded school on Monday when I would have to face Edward again. I didn't know what kind of reception I would get. Would be ignore me, treat me like a leaper again?

A solitary tear slid down my face as I said my final goodbye to the one boy I ever really cared about.