Sunday morning dawned bleak and rainy, the unrelenting patter of raindrops spattering the window, waking Tim from his cozy and pleasant dream- filled sleep. Feeling rested, he rose quickly, stretched, grabbed the clean change of clothes he'd left out of his bag for this morning and hit the shower, hoping the noise wouldn't wake Gibbs. He hated driving in the rain and they had a ten hour trip in front of them, along with the need to get some sleep and be ready for work in the morning.
The sound of the shower woke Gibbs and it was all of two minutes before he was up, heading over to the coffee maker in the kitchenette and fixing two cups of coffee. He was grateful they'd remembered to set it to brew last night – taking away the horror of getting started this morning without caffeine. They had a long drive ahead of them and would already be fighting the tired feeling that came from rainy days. There was no doubt they'd need more caffeine to keep them going, but this was definitely a good start.
Coming from the shower, freshly shaved and already dressed except his button up shirt, socks and shoes, the smell of coffee brought a smile to Tim's face for a minute before he realized that he'd woken Gibbs up with the shower after all.
"Hey. Sleep okay?" Gibbs quietly asked as he handed the young man his cup of coffee, deliberately keeping his eyes on Tim's face and not looking at the toned body and strong hands that sent an electric jolt through his own body or breathing in that wonderful scent that was all Tim.
"Yeah. Thanks. You?" Tim answered with a question of his own, as he tried to swallow around the sudden shortness of breath that came over him as he reached out to take his coffee from the older man; their fingers touching as he took hold of the cup and withdrew it from Gibbs' hand.
It was a task made all the more difficult when Tim's eyes wandered, almost instinctually, finding proof for himself that the man was indeed not just interested but genuinely reacting to their connection just now. Without letting himself look back into those cobalt oceans he could easily drown in, Tim moved back and, without saying another word, headed to the bed where his button down shirt, socks and shoes were sitting.
Taking a few deliberately even breaths, Gibbs calmed his breathing before drinking down his coffee in one go. Grabbing up his own change of clothes, he headed to the shower, also without speaking.
While the older man was in the shower, Tim made a last minute sweep through the room and took his bags out to the car before coming back in, reheating the breakfast sandwiches they'd bought at the grocery store earlier in the week and packing up the cooler.
Fifteen quiet minutes later, they were on the road, with ten hours of driving in front of them – well, probably eight now, with Gibbs behind the wheel. The older man had been surprised when Tim asked him if he felt comfortable driving an almost new vehicle in the rain in comparison to his classic car or his old pick-up truck.
When pushed for the real reason he was asking, Tim admitted to a serious dislike for driving in the rain; something about it stemming back to the accident he'd had while driving his 1st car in the rain – at age 16. With a small smile of understanding, Gibbs accepted the keys and got them underway.
The older man expected Tim to jump at or at least attempt to jump into the conversation they really did need to have about what had slowly but surely been building up between them, culminating in that off-beat moment between them on Monday morning. When Tim instead pulled out his laptop and began working on something without speaking, Gibbs felt a stab of something.
Whether what he'd felt was pride or disappointment or a mix of both, the Team Leader wasn't sure. What he did know was that he'd have to trust his gut on this and right now, his gut was telling him he needed to leave it alone and wait for Tim to come to him when he was ready to talk about it.
The right moment would come. He just needed to be patient and wait.
***NCIS***
They made it back to D.C. in just under nine hours, but still feeling the pull of tiredness that came from traveling long distances in one sitting. The handful of stops had been strictly for re-supplying caffeine and trips to the head. None of them had lasted longer than five minutes.
By six that night, the boss had been dropped off at home and Tim was finally pulling into his parking place in front of his own apartment. He had a dog to take care of since Abby's last visit with the canine had been early that morning, before her full day of charity work. His apartment probably needed a cursory cleanup too, not to mention his work from the previous week needed to be ready for the meeting with Vance in the morning.
***NCIS***
Monday morning came way too soon – dragging Tim out of bed and back into the daily grind. Almost on autopilot, he drove to work, this time bringing coffee for everyone on the team.
"Hey, Hey! Probie!" Tony hollered out as Tim stepped off the elevator at 6:45. "Glad you remembered to come back to work. Been lookin' for ya all weekend! Where the heck you been, man?"
"Just got back last night, Tony." Tim admitted quietly as he walked out around Tony who was now standing in his path.
"Wait a second! You and Gibbs together? Staying out of town voluntarily for an extra day? Out of your own pocket? Nah! I don't buy it! You two don't even talk to each other on a normal day, how the hell would you two have anything to say to each other on your own free time? Unless the two of you're slee…"
**Thwack!**
"Thank you, Boss. Welcome back, Boss. Shutting up now, Boss." Tony replied as he turned to go back to his desk, only to come up short when Gibbs remained in his path, glaring at him.
Looking like a deer caught in a pair of headlights, Tony's eyes remained fixed on the boss's even as Tim spoke from over behind his own desk, his eyes fixed on his written phone messages now in his hand. "No, Tony, we're not. But thanks for the reminder of the way your mind works when its busy crossing that line into someone else's private life."
"No more, DiNozzo." Gibbs warned. "No more snooping either."
"Yes, Boss."
"I mean it, Tony. It's called 'private life' for a reason. That means you stay out."
"Thank you, Gibbs." Ziva chimed in before she looked at Tony and added her own long-standing complaint. "I have told you often, that your choice to brag about the details of your own private life does not give you the right to expect the same from us or invade the privacy of others."
Letting out a deep sigh, Tony admitted defeat. "You're right. Okay? There, I admitted it. Are ya happy?"
"Only if you don't forget it, DiNozzo." Gibbs replied as he stepped back and walked to his own desk.
"So. What'd we miss while we were gone?" Tim asked.
***NCIS***
By the end of the day, Tim was more than ready to go home and get some much needed sleep. Even though the meeting with Vance had gone well and cold case reviews had been the only thing that had kept the team busy, the strain of keeping all things between Gibbs and himself at a distance that was painfully normal, was, well, painful and stressful and beginning to seriously fray his nerves.
Being alone with Gibbs away from everyone else and on the road had been easy and very comfortable – for the most part. But, here – with things unsettled between them – was far from easy or comfortable. Breathing out a sigh of tired frustration, Tim blinked and looked around him for the first time in a while. He was shocked to see the squad room had emptied out and gone dark without him realizing it.
"Tim?" Gibbs voice as the man stopped beside Tim, drenched in concern, disrupted the layer of fog that had been trying to settle in around the younger man's brain.
Looking at the man in surprise, Tim reacted in confusion. "Boss?"
"You alright?"
Taking the time to swallow, breathe deliberately on a calm level and to decide to be blatantly honest, Tim finally opened his mouth and answered. "I'm not sure."
Gibbs looked at the younger man with careful scrutiny, without heat or surprise. His next quiet question blew Tim away. "Think you're ready to talk now?"
Tim's mouth dropped open as his brain screamed in protest. He was waiting for you to come to him like this! All this time you've been struggling and he just let you do it!
Without addressing the issue further, Gibbs offered a solution. "C'mon, let's go get some dinner."
Tim's immediate, knee-jerk reaction was to object; to refuse, but something in both the expression and tone of the older man tugged at Tim's heart and endeared the man to him even more than ever before. Without a word, Tim nodded, quickly shut down his work station, shouldered his gear bag and started for the elevator in step with Gibbs. Walking out together invited the silence between them to return, this time bringing with it an aura of expectancy and hope.
The ride to the diner to pick up their dinners and even the rest of the ride home, remained a silent time, neither breaking through it, both strung tight with tension, made worse with the fear of screwing this up; whatever this was going to be.
Finally, Gibbs broke the tension and the silence. "Relax, Tim."
Snickering, Tim did just that. Letting out his breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding in, he glanced at the older man and smiled. "Thanks."
***NCIS***
Dinner almost silently eaten and both of them now comfortable on opposite ends of the sofa, they both seemed to be able to breathe again. Before anything was said, Tim was restlessly up on his feet and walking to the back porch doors to look out, already tuned in to where this conversation was headed
"Tell me I'm not imagining this," he requested as he turned and looked to the older man, who had silently stood and was already approaching him.
"This is real, Tim."
"But neither of us are…"
"As immune to change as we thought we were." Gibbs finished for him, letting him know it really was okay. "It's okay to change, Tim."
Tim breathed out a sigh. "You don't know how much I want to believe that."
"Do you want this? Gibbs pushed quietly. "If you don't, there'll never be another word said about it."
"Meaning it's now or never." Tim stated with something in his voice that hit the older man in the heart like a stake.
"Not what I said." Gibbs admonished gently. "It's strictly your decision. Not gonna hold it against you either way. If you decide you don't want this, it won't ever be mentioned again."
Feeling bereft at the very thought of not having whatever this was, Tim was quick to look at him. "Oh, I want it. I'm just not sure I'm ready for it."
"Talk to me."
"It's a lot of change to take in; accept about myself, you, us."
"I'm in no hurry. No time limit here."
"Really?"
"Wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it, Tim. Wouldn't even be talkin' about it."
"Thank you."
"Door's open. You're welcome here anytime."
"Yeah, about that…" Tim hedged.
"Door's always open." The older man reiterated.
"I know. We all know."
"Ah. Right." Gibbs replied with a lift of his mouth that bordered on a grin. "Guess you're just gonna have to lock it when you come over."
Tim smiled.
***NCIS***
Somehow from that night on, endless hours spent in each other's company when they weren't working helped pass the time and soon the weeks flew by; days filled with work and the nights they weren't working on cases filled with the hours Tim spent sitting on Gibbs' basement steps. He soaked up the other man's quiet strength and silent companionship, neither of them in a hurry to take it further. Both content to enjoy this time together with dinner and quiet conversation mixed in so regularly now, it was beginning to feel like a comfort zone.
Before they knew it, week one had turned into week six and suddenly, the air between them seemed different. The days of needing or being expected to wait for an invitation to the older man's home were long gone and in their place was the nightly expectation and anticipation of spending dinner time cooking together or ordering take-out if they were too tired to cook. Either way, the time spent together over that evening meal became very special to both of them, in lots of quiet ways they never needed to mention.
Tonight, they'd ordered out almost as an afterthought – too caught up in the peace and serenity that keeping each other's company almost always brought with them. Sitting together with their coffees on the table before them, neither seemed able to break the silence.
"Leroy." Gibbs finally and unexpectedly spoke.
Tim looked at him in surprise, from across their impromptu dinner that actually felt, for lack of a better word, cozy. "Your first name." He reasoned out loud since he had no idea why the older man felt the need to bring it up.
"Think you could get used to using it when we're at home?" Those cobalt blues nearly swallowed Tim's soul at that moment, so filled with genuine promise and trust.
Tim swallowed hard and his eyes felt suspiciously wet. 'We're at home'. Hearing that from Gibbs' mouth, knowing it came from his heart, brought more joy to Tim's heart than he knew how to express.
Clearing his throat, he stood to his feet and turned to the sink, turning on the faucet for the noise he needed to fill the silence that suddenly filled the room.
He was overwhelmed. He was honored. He was hopeful. And he was petrified. He cared so much for this man; he had hoped for this moment; this defining moment when the ever-increasingly intimate feel of their companionship would take the next step towards the building of a relationship that both had already admitted they wanted. However, now that the moment had arrived, he was so scared he'd screw up anything that took them beyond where they were now, he didn't know how to react.
"Tim?" Gibbs joined him at the sink and turned the water off before looking at him. "You don't have to if it's a problem for you."
Tim shook his head in denial. Oh, it definitely wasn't a problem! "No, it's not…. I don't…. Does this mean what I think it means?" He finally looked over at the older man, all hope he'd stored up in his soul, now filling his eyes without a shield or mask.
"Means I'd like it to. If it's what you want, too." The older man replied so quietly, Tim wasn't quite sure he had actually spoken.
"I'd like that." The younger man replied without hesitation. "Nothing on earth, I'd like more."
"But?"
"I don't have the best track record with relationships…"
Gibbs' snort of self-mockery was almost funny, "And you think I do?"
"What happens…what if taking this further and trying to build it up from here doesn't work?"
"You think that's gonna happen?"
"It always has before…to me."
Gibbs put his hand on his shoulder. "Tim. Look. You know where this is goin'. You know we've known each other – enough to have each other's six - for a few years now. The trust between us is there and that's a huge part of a relationship – I know that from my first marriage and from the lack of it in the other three. And these last few months, we've really gotten to know each other – personally – so much more. I used to feel like I knew all I needed to about you, but now I know so much more and …I want to keep learning more, Tim"
As the older man paused to give the younger one a minute to think, he escaped into his coffee, not used to baring his soul like this; knowing he still needed to share more to help Tim understand exactly where things stood for him, anyway.
"It's…I don't know, I'm not good with words, you know that. I did finally figure out that my three failed marriages had more to do with my wanting to find a replacement for Shannon. I never took the time with any of the other three, to get to know them before we married and then each time I found out she hadn't magically transformed into Shannon, it was pretty much over. You're not another attempt at that - you're not a redhead, Tim. And your relationships, I've always wondered if you too just rush in and then the breakups hurt your self-confidence…it's your one failing, ya know but that's ok, it just makes you human enough that the rest of us can live with you."
Tim smiled at the older man's attempt at humor, even as he tried to recover from the shock of hearing so much from Gibbs about himself – who he was on the inside, down deep; especially all at once like that. It didn't take him long before he had to admit the man was right.
"I know, I…just…this is too important. You're right - the trust is there between us and maybe I have assumed too much too soon in the past, same thing, kind of, as you – I haven't taken the time to get to know the person. And I know you; that is, since we've gotten closer these past few months and especially these last few weeks, I'm getting to know you well enough that I feel comfortable saying I know you, now that you've begun to let me see the real you and I do want more. "
"And this time, Tim, you've found someone who knows you well and who believes that "we, us together" is as important as you do. Right?"
The younger man smiled softly. "Right."
"Okay, then."
"Thanks….Leroy." Tim smiled again as he looked over at the older man, every ounce of his long pent-up desire shimmering in his eyes.
Gibbs groaned with his own wave of barely controlled want, pulled Tim back to him and moved in for what he needed at that moment – contact...however brief.
