Hey guys!
First and foremost, I am so sorry for taking so long with this; I just wasn't really sure what to do with it, but I think I am now. Anyway, this story is not up for adoption if anyone is wondering, and I will be working more on it now. I really hope this chapter is satisfactory, despite being somewhat boring. Also, I have some questions to ask. I want to ask you all if you want a lemon in this story somewhere. If you want one, kindly send me a private message, or email me at to tell me your answer. Unless I get at least 7 people telling me they want one, I will assume that you don't want one and not put one on. Unless I feel like it. Also, I am running out of ideas for this story, partly because I didn't develop it very well to begin with, and partly because it seems to cliche for me. So, if you have any suggestions, I would absolutely love to hear them. Finally, I'm thinking of posting a different story, one I've already finished, but still need to edit. If you guys want to see it, just send me a message. If at least ten people tell me they want to see it, then I'll post it. It is another vampire story, by the way, and unlike this one, it has vampires from the start. There will be vampires soon, just be patient please. Thanks so much for everyone who gave me a review and who has bothered reading this far! See ya some other time! By the way, I own all these characters, so no steal unless you private message me looking for permission and I grant it. So until then, Hanieya copyright! Peace out people! XD
Chapter 7: Perfect. For Now.
At the current time, my life was as perfect as it could be. I had a wonderful family, friends that I could count on for just about anything, and the most awesome boyfriend in the world. My parents could tell that my mood had improved greatly with Daniel coming into my life, and I now went to school with an eagerness to learn, wanting to prove that I could be just as smart as Daniel was. Even if he noticed though, Daniel made no comment about it, but I saw him giving me hidden smiles every now and again when we went on study dates, as if he knew he was the reason I had gone through so much trouble to improve my grades. Even so, if he knew, he knew, and I wasn't going to stop it and neither was he.
My friends were not jealous of my relationship with Daniel, even though I occasionally caught them giving us envious looks. They did not envy the fact that I had him, but the fact that I was so happy with him. They wished for happiness themselves, but being as pretty as they were, Chloe in particular, it was hard to find a guy that didn't just want her for her body. Still, they made an effort to act the same as normal, with some teasing after I went out with him and refused to describe what had happened. They were all good sports about it either way, and wished me well all along the way, in no way trying to damage what I had with him.
And Daniel: my wonderfully sweet boyfriend. He never pushed, never took anything without being sure I was ready to give it. He always showed signs of wanting me, both seriously and playfully, but I knew he would never try and force me into giving myself to him. He was always sweet with me, always carrying my books, always walking me to class before going to his own, and always giving me a sweet kiss on the lips before going, promising to see me at our next break.
Sometimes, it worried me that I didn't know when I would give myself up to him, and I worried that if I made him wait too long, he might leave me. Each time, I would tell myself that Daniel cared for me because I was me, not because of my body, and each time, I would counter myself by saying that even if that was true, he was still a guy, and guys wanted sex, plain and simple. Perhaps I was stupid to worry about that so early in our relationship, but I worried nonetheless, and nothing could stop it. It really didn't help that Chloe would constantly tease me about it after I refused to tell her the details of one of the dates he had took me on, which by the way, had concluded in a very hot make out session.
One time, I considered asking Daniel when we were sitting together at dinner, but then, I really thought about it, and blushed so hard my entire face turned red. Trust me, that isn't an exaggeration; I could see myself in my spoon's reflection. He glanced up at me while looking at his menu and raised an eyebrow, amused. "Is something the matter?" he'd asked.
I blushed harder, embarrassed that he'd noticed and tried to shrug it off as nothing, "It's nothing; I was just thinking of something silly."
He'd leaned forward, resting his arms on the table, "Oh? Enlighten me. What is this thing you find silly, my sweet?"
I'd let out a groan, "Don't make me say it, Daniel, please."
He laughed and kept pushing me, "Come on, Elena, what is it? What do you not want to tell me? I'm almost dying of curiosity."
Finally, after a few minutes of debating, I finally gave in, with the promise that he'd reward me in full for it later. By the way, the night I wouldn't tell Chloe what had happened? Yeah, it'd been that night.
"Well," I started hesitantly, blushing deeply, "I was just wondering, if sometimes you wished our relationship moved faster pace, so we would get to…that. Sometimes I wonder if I wait too long, you might leave me, and the thought itself just scares me. I mean, sure, it's still early in our relationship, but what if I say 'no' for too long? I'm scared you'll leave me for someone else-."
"Elena," he said savagely, cutting me off.
I shut up, but I refused to look at him. I felt a finger on my chin, and it forced my to look up, to face him after what I had just spewed out to him. The look I saw in his eyes stunned me to no end: there was nothing in his eyes, nothing at all, but pure love. The intensity in itself made me catch my breath, and he hadn't even spoken yet!
"Elena, listen to my words very carefully," he whispered, looking right into my eyes.
I nodded. Hell, at that moment, I couldn't have spoken if I'd wanted to; there was no breath in my body to do so. "I will not, ever, leave you just because you don't want to make love to me yet," he said, in the same soft, deep voice, "I will not just leave you because you don't feel comfortable enough to give yourself to me. You're still virgin, I know that, and I will honor that until you deem it is right to give it to the one you love. I will not press you for it, and I will make no attempts to force you to give yourself to me. The only time I will ever take you is when you feel that you feel that it is the right time for us, and no other. I want your first time to be special, and something you'll always treasure, not something you rushed into because you thought I was going to leave you. Do you understand? Yes, I will ogle at your body, and yes, I will want you a lot through out the time we're together, but I will never, ever, force you into something you aren't ready. Do you understand?"
He wanted an answer, but I couldn't speak; I didn't have the air for it. His words had left me stunned, touched, and completely, utterly in love with him. He was so sweet to say that, and I completely believed his words, because of the sincerity I could see in his eyes. He really never would push me for something I wasn't sure about, and even though I knew he wanted me, he would never force me into anything I wasn't ready for. I didn't trust my lips to speak for me. So, I answered him by kissing him, and it was the best kiss I ever had.
After that night, we'd grown even closer to each other, and we were even more in love then ever before. Yes, I could freely admit that I loved Daniel, and I wasn't ashamed of it either. We hadn't said it to each other yet, but I knew the time was coming soon; it was just a matter of who said it first.
Putting Daniel aside for a moment, I turn to the other man in my life: Arsenio. He and I were getting along better than I had thought possible, especially for us. We talked about what had gone wrong between us when we started, and we both apologized for acting so horrible to each other, because we both knew we were both to blame. He apologized for deceiving me in the first place, and I apologized for not being nicer about it. We never touched the topic of Alana though, whoever that was. I longed to ask him and to find out who she was, and why he had almost called me that, but I was almost afraid of the answer.
Neither of us was afraid of talking about anything awkward to each other, for some unknown reason, but neither of us thought anything about it either. We just went with it, easy and simple. There were times, when I was with him, that I still felt attracted to him, still wanted him like nothing else. I figured I was just being shallow, and just lusted after him, but as time went on, I started to understand that it wasn't just his looks that affected me, but his character itself. The easy confidence he displayed and the casualness with which he took on anything and everything appealed to me, made me want to try things I would never usually consider. I felt a need to prove myself to him, to show him that I was not helpless or weak, or a chicken. There was a need inside me, for him that not even Daniel could duplicate, and it scared me, because while I knew I loved Daniel, I also wanted Arsenio.
One day, after school, we were lying side by side on the carpet in his room, staring up through the skylight. It was a nice day, and I was already starting to doze, enjoying myself. We had talked non-stop for a few hours, and we were both getting somewhat tired.
"Hey," I whispered. I didn't even know what I wanted to talk about; I just knew I wanted to speak. For the most part, I was curious as to what I would say, so I didn't even bother trying to stop myself.
"Hm?" he asked, his voice just as soft as my own.
"Who is Alana?" For a moment, the room was quiet; neither of us seemed to believe I had actually asked that question. But I had. "You, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, really, it just popped out." I was babbling, but I didn't know what else to do. By unspoken consent, we had both agreed not to talk about it, and now I had.
"It's okay," he said softly, "I'll answer; I know it's been bugging you for a while." I waited in silence for a few moments, holding my breath, waiting for him to speak. When he didn't for two minutes, I let go, disappointed. Then, he spoke. "Alana is a girl I knew a long time ago. You remind me of what I thought she would look like when she grew up. Alana was 14 years old when I met her, and I was 15 at the time. I loved her so much from the moment I saw her that I just had to have her. I asked her to go out with me, and she did. The days I spent with her were the best of my life, and I was so happy together with her. I constantly told my best friend about her, even if I never revealed her name to him. At the same time, he told me he had a girlfriend as well, one that he was madly in love with. We talked about each of our girlfriends to each other, marveling the beauty to each other, everything.
"One day, I went to see him, hang out together. I found them together, making out. I was so enraged I tore them apart and demanded how he could do that to me. He seemed confused, and told me she was his girlfriend, the one he had told me about. I was confused too, saying that she was my girlfriend, not his. We started fighting over her, not even caring that she was there yelling at us to stop and trying to pry us apart. Somewhere in the middle, she got caught, and she was killed." He took a shaky breath, "We blamed each other for her death, and we talked no more, hating each other with a passion. We were both hurt by her betrayal, but we still loved her, even as we knew she had cheated on us both with the other. We never did find out who had landed the ending blow, but I remember feeling flesh right before she fell, and my friend knew it too, so he assumed it was me.
"When I saw you then, I thought you were Alana come back from the dead to haunt me for what I had done. When I realized you were a different person, I parted myself from you, scared of what I would do to harm you like I did her. I was attracted to you from the start, Elena, because not only did you resemble Alana, but you had the spirit I always wished inside her."
I was stunned by his words; that had happened to him? Now I felt like a completely bitch for being so mean to him about it. "Oh my gosh, Arsenio, I'm so sorry. I didn't know; I thought-."
He placed a hand over my mouth and smiled at me, "It's okay; you have no need to apologize-."
"I do! I acted like a completely-." It seemed like we were going to spend the entire day cutting each other off in the middle of sentences. He turned onto his side and forced me to look at him. His dark eyes met mine own and blazed with heat, so intense that I could barely breath at the force of it.
"No, Elena, it isn't your fault; you didn't know, and it doesn't matter. IT is not your fault for doing that, understand? It wasn't your fault to begin with, and it still isn't. Do you understand?" That was the second time in a short while that a guy had asked me if I understood, and just like last time, I could do nothing but shake my head as an answer; I was capable of nothing else.
So, from there, we just got closer, even as Daniel and I had. We hung out so often it was almost like I spent every waking moment when I wasn't at school or with Daniel with him. There was a part of me that wondered if I was cheating with Daniel if I was spending this much time with him, but I shook the thought off, convinced that Arsenio and I were just friends. Despite my saying that, I could not deny that there was a part of me that wanted Arsenio more than ever now that he had shown me his true nature.
Now that he wasn't hiding who he was from me, and I could see who he really was, if I said I wasn't attracted to it in both a physical and mental way, I would be telling the biggest lie I'd ever told in my life. I mean, come on, you can't blame me; any girl who wasn't lesbian would look at that guy and fall in a lust-induced haze, no exaggeration. I remember what Nicole had said to me after I went on my date with him: that man was like sex on legs. That was so true if you were just looking at his body, not at his personality.
His character itself spoke to me in ways I did not understand, but I found myself craving his company as I did Daniels, and it surprised me to no end. As truth went, I thought it was because he was like the typical 'dark, mysterious stranger', and that was the reason. I knew I was wrong. He was neither polite nor sweet around me, except under certain circumstances. He did not treat me as a lady, and he did not treat me as something that could be broken. The thing, I think, that appealed to me, was that aspect in itself: he treated me like an equal. He challenged me as he would any other person, and he joked with me as he would any other person. He constantly teased me that I was weaker than him, and that I would have to work hard to catch up to him. Even though he said that, he did not act as if he were inferior to me, unless he was teasing.
I remembered what Winsey had told me once: girls will always be inferior to men. When I had argued and protested, she made me understand her logic. Guys were stronger than us in all physical ways, whether speed or strength. Also, all the great people of history were men, with a few exceptions here and there, so we could never be better than then intellectually either. When I argued that singers were girls, she countered by saying it was just because a woman's song is naturally more beautiful, because they reached higher notes, but men were could also reach the high notes, and they could reach the low notes too, whereas we could not. She ended off by telling me that the only thing women could ever excel in was kindness, because the huge male pride kept men from being as kind as they should have been. That night, after she had told me, I'd seen her logic, and it has made me depressed
Now, the point of me telling you this is because when I was with Arsenio, I saw the truth in her words, but I also saw the contradiction. Arsenio treated me like an equal; he treated me as if I were at the same level at him. He did not go easy on me, did not pity me, but rather went full out at me, despite my losing to him constantly. Even Daniel did not do that for me. Sure, he treated me special, and he treated as if I were better than him, but in doing that, he also proved that he believed I needed to be treated specially, because I'll break down if I don't. That was the difference. Perhaps I was reading too far into it, but I didn't think so, not in this case. As the fact went though, it no longer mattered, because I was with Daniel now, and nothing on my side would be the reason we broke up. Oh, how naïve I am to believe that. Things maybe be perfect for now, but there was something in me, a gut feeling if you will, that knew this would not last for too long, and God save me when that time comes, because I don't know if I'll survive it.
