Teen Titans
Carved Glass
.:Chapter Six:.
Culmination
Rain pattered softly onto the earth, streaking the air with tendrils of silver that descending from the rumbling clouds overhead. This was the sort of day that I had loved in my dark prison. I had once sat with my head leaned back against a wall, my eyes closed and my ears cocked to pick up the soft thrum of the downpour outside my small window. I would imagine what the rain would feel like on my skin—cool and clean, soft and soothing on the scrapes and cuts that had always seemed to cover my body. But in that present moment, sitting beneath a tree in my pitiful attempt to get out of the rain, I did not feel happy that I was experiencing a rainfall as I had always dreamed to. The rain, instead of being comforting, was cold and harsh, digging into my skin and chilling me through so that my bones ached. The effects of the rain would not have been quite so bad if I had not been miserable enough already due to the events of the previous day. Seeing Cyborg again and telling him all those things about myself… well, it just made my faults more real. And the more I realized that, the more I saw how bad a match I was for Beast Boy. It would be better for me to leave. Get as far away as I could. Or maybe even to just… disappear. It would be better for everyone if I could never return. If my powers didn't exist. But I was too much of a coward to think of that alternative for long. In the end, it was too frightening a concept for me. "For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…"
I pulled my light jacket over my shoulders more tightly, shivering so hard it probably looked like I was convulsing to other people—not that there were any people around to notice. If anyone was out and about in the rain, they were probably on main streets with umbrellas over their heads and destinations in their heads. Me… I was sitting in the wet grass, with droplets falling on my head, thinking about things that I just wanted to forget. Why couldn't I have been normal? I thought sadly. But another thought made me feel somewhat better: but if I were to be "normal," maybe I would never have met Beast Boy. It was strange to think of how much he had come to mean to me in the past week. I'd never known anyone as caring and trusting as he was. He had really become the sun in my life, the one thing that my thoughts seemed to center themselves around. The hardest thing to swallow at that point was the fact that he had probably heard about my conversation with Cyborg the previous day, and after that… well, he probably wanted nothing more to do with me. Why would he want to risk his heart on a girl he couldn't trust? After all, he'd fallen for someone like that before, and it hadn't worked out well. I wondered what she had been like. Had she been beautiful? Kind? Why had she hurt Beast Boy? Would I end up hurting him if I stayed? My side ached horribly. I got up and decided it was time to find better shelter than that rotten old tree. If I didn't get some good, comfortable rest, I would lose my grip on the Bond, and then everything would be over anyways. At least then I wouldn't have to think about all this anymore, I thought, feeling exhausted after having such an emotional day. Or perhaps, more accurately, an emotional life.
The pathways through the park were darkly tinted—wet and shining in the rain. Droplets splattered on the pavement in little explosions, making soft teh teh teh noises that seemed to me to be the perfect soundtrack to my life. It was a sad, lonely sound. The sound of a girl who was slowly but steadily falling apart. But maybe I was just wallowing in self-pity. It would do no good to constantly dwell on the negative parts of life. That really would leave me feeling suicidal or something worse. My hand strayed to my side, and I thought of the day that my master had implanted the small microchip into my body. By now, it was probably wrapped up in my vital organs—I think that's what master said it was designed to do. No matter how hard I tried to make it go away, to make it not exist, the Bond was still there, pulsing and sending jabs of pain through me. Would I ever be rid of it? It seemed to me that the only times I didn't notice it… were the times I was with Beast Boy. Another dull ache seemed to vibrate inside of my chest, but this was not the usual pain of the Bond. It was the type of pain that inspired cliché sayings like "dying from a broken heart." At that moment, I thought maybe I would.
"Leila." I started and whirled around, prepared for anything—or so I thought. In my heart I had almost dared to hope that I would see Beast Boy again. More than anything in the world I wanted to be near him, to talk to him, to drown away my sorrows in the light of his smile. But I had also been dreading our meeting, and so when the event actually came to pass, what I felt was a mixture of happiness and sadness and fear that was so confusing it almost made my head spin. I'm such an idiot. I thought. Falling in love with the enemy… What do you expect will happen, girl? You'll only hurt him and end up dead yourself—or worse.
"Beast Boy," I said shakily, the name slipping through my lips almost of their own accord. My eyes seemed to drink in the sight of him, from his slim waist to his thickset shoulders and then up to his almost elfish face, which was usually so expressive but at that moment was impossible to read. His dark hair looked even darker than usual, and it hung down across his forehead, plastering itself to his wet, green skin. I opened my mouth, wanting to say something. Anything. That I was sorry. That I hated myself for tormenting him like this. For lying to him. For betraying his trust merely by being near him. So sorry… Sorry for existing. Sorry for being a horrible, evil, miserable, useless traitor. Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks, but I was pretty sure Beast Boy wouldn't notice, since my face was already wet with the rain.
"I've been looking for you," Beast Boy said matter-of-factly. "It seems that you like this park, so I thought I'd start here."
"Did you really expect me to be here in this downpour?" I asked, wishing I could sound anything but what I was—tired.
All Beast Boy said in reply was, "Well." I supposed I could finish that statement easily enough: "Well, here you are."
"So, you've found me," I murmured, feeling the rain thrumming against my head and my shoulders but not really caring anymore. Even in my current state, Beast Boy made most menial concerns disappear. "What do you want?"
"I want to ask you… if you hate me?" Beast Boy looked down at his feet and seemed to be tensing himself, as if he expected me to say, "Yes, Beast Boy, I hate you with every fiber of my being." I stared at him, a little at a loss for words. Where was this question coming from? I had never said anything like that. So why would he think I hated him? I was confused, but I decided to answer his question seriously.
"I don't hate you," I said quietly.
"Really?" Beast Boy looked up at me, his eyes full of confusion and hurt, "Then why did you tell Cyborg you never wanted to see me again?"
My stomach seemed to plummet into my toes, and I was pretty sure my heart had just done a somersault in my chest. It took a few moments for me to think through my answer—I knew I needed to consider my answer carefully. I couldn't lead Beast Boy on anymore. But I didn't want to lie either. I knew… at that moment… that I needed to tell him the truth. The whole truth. I had run long enough. It was time to bear the consequences of my sins. I just hoped that Cyborg wouldn't be the one to torture me. I sort of liked him. And I hoped that Beast Boy wouldn't be there. I didn't think I could bear to see him close by… That would be like my master laughing in my face, saying, "I told you so."
"Leila?" Beast Boy's eyes were so focused on me, it was almost as if he thought I was going to disappear again. But I was done running.
"It's better for everyone if I disappear," I said finally. "Better still if I would just die. Then you could never be hurt. No one would ever be hurt again." I looked down at my hands, so small and yet so sturdy. Those hands had done terrible things. They had caused people to suffer. I remembered watching on the screen in my prison as my powers reduced Cyborg's armor to a heap of scrap metal. I remembered other times, less pleasant even than that. My stomach clenched, and I thought for a moment that I was going to be sick.
"Leila… I don't understand," Beast Boy murmured.
"Do you remember the girl who stopped that robot from hurting that girl, and then ran away when you tried to help her?"
"Yes."
"That was… me." The words came out in something of a gasp, since I seemed to be choking on them as they formed in my throat.
Beast Boy's eyes widened considerably. "That was… you?"
"Yes," I replied softly. "I saw that no one was helping, and I… I was still really weak, but I wanted to help. I thought maybe… maybe it would make things right." Even to my own ears my fumble at rationalizing my own behavior sounded weak at best.
"Why did you run away when we came?" Beast Boy asked. He didn't question me in a pushy way. He just seemed to want to know. I looked at him through the rain, feeling my hopes sink away from me like heavy stones dropped into the ocean, sinking down, down, down to be swallowed by dark and cold.
"I was afraid of you," I said quietly. "Afraid of what you'd do to me if you knew..." Even now. I looked at him, feeling as if I was being torn in two. A part of me wanted to shut up and remain guiltless in his eyes. But the bigger part of me knew that could never be. I had to be honest with him.
Beast Boy looked confused. "What…?"
"I have to tell you the truth… But I… I don't even know where to start." I buried my face in my hands. It was hard, to say the least. My emotions seemed to be festering inside of me, and the Bond—the microchip embedded in my side—was pulsing and pulling. I was losing my grip on it. It was already too material, and the pain was excruciating. But I wouldn't let it show. I couldn't let Beast Boy see that. Suddenly I felt something warm on my shoulders. I dropped my hands a little and looked into Beast Boy's eyes, which were much closer to me. He was only about five inches away, with his hands resting on my shoulders.
"You can tell me anything, Leila," he said quietly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Beast Boy, I'm—"
"Well, well, well," a deep voice interrupted me. It was a familiar voice, and shivers seemed to fill my body when I heard it. "What do we have here?"
.:~*.:/:.*~:.
Beast Boy started and turned around, wondering who had interrupted them. A boy stood about fifteen feet away, leaning against one of the park trees with a careless sort of air about him. Half of his face was obscured by a dark mask, which seemed to Beast Boy to look very much like another's…
"Shadow," Leila said quietly. Beast Boy glanced at her, surprised, and then he turned back to the darkly dressed boy who seemed to be amused by what he was seeing.
"You should know better, girl," the boy said, smirking. "I distinctly remember our master telling us what would happen if the Titans happened to capture us." Beast Boy felt… wrong somehow. A horrible suspicion had begun to grow inside of him. He looked at Leila and hoped with all of his heart that he was wrong. But her face told him everything. She looked afraid, the color draining from her cheeks. She wasn't looking at Beast Boy, but he could feel her inching away from him slowly.
"Y-you're…"
"Wrong?" The boy scoffed. "I hardly think so. You may have been stupid enough to fall for your enemy, but I hardly think you're enough of an idiot to expect him to spare you just because of that." Beast Boy saw Leila flinch, and he wondered what exactly was happening. How did Leila know this creepy guy? Why was she afraid of the Titans? What exactly did she think they were going to do to her? He thought of all her actions since he had met her. She'd tried to run away when he'd first saved her in that alley—not to mention the time she did run away after saving that child from the robot. When they'd had their picnic, she had run at the sight of Cyborg and Raven. And she'd been avoiding him ever since. Could she really be hiding something? "It would be better for everyone if I just disappeared. Better still if I would just die." Leila's words seemed to echo in his head, and that terrible feeling that something was wrong spread through Beast Boy until he wasn't sure what to think or feel anymore. He looked at Leila and noticed for the first time that she was crying. The rain had slackened enough to the point where it became very apparent, and he wondered how long her tears had mingled with the droplets of rain splattered on her cheek.
"They're not at all like Master said," Leila nearly shouted, and Beast Boy was shocked to see the fire flaring in her eyes. She had always seemed so meek and sad, ever since he had met her. But now he could see genuine anger burning inside of her, like a wildfire that had started from a simple, tiny spark. "He lied to me! He told me they were cruel and merciless, but it's always been Master who is cruel! I don't care what happens to me anymore. I'd rather have the Titans lock me away and torture me than go back to that dark room and hurt more innocent people because Master wants me to!" Suddenly her expression changed and she gasped loudly, falling forward. Without really thinking about his actions, Beast Boy darted forward and caught her before she fell onto the pavement. Her body felt cold through—probably from the rain—and she was shaking so hard he could feel the vibrations spreading into his own arms just from holding her up.
"Tut tut," the boy said a bit sarcastically, "You should be careful. Using your energy will only make your hold on the Bond weaken faster. Really, I don't know what you were thinking. You of all people should know that you couldn't keep your curse away for long." Leila looked at the boy with anger still sparking from her eyes. Beast Boy held her up, and he could feel that most of her weight was leaning against him. Whatever this boy was talking about, whatever was making her weak, it had to be strong. Strong enough to make it impossible for Leila to stand on her own.
The boy sighed and shook his head. "You really must be in a lot of pain. I'm surprised you're holding it in. I know how it felt when I…" The boy's expression looked distant, until he shook his head and frowned. His hand strayed to his shoulder, and Beast Boy wondered what exactly this "bond" thing was, and why it would be bringing Leila pain.
"You should know by now that there are worse things than physical pain," Leila said quietly. "And if you don't, then I pity you." The boy looked at her for a long time, and then he smiled slightly.
"For a second there," he said, "I thought you were almost like… like you used to be. But a few days of freedom won't erase all those years of captivity. You should just come back now, Leila, before—"here he glanced at Beast Boy—"more people get hurt."
"What's he talking about, Leila?" Beast Boy asked, looking at her pale face and feeling her shaking. Suddenly he felt something coming from her; it was like the heat radiating from a stovetop, and it was warm enough to make Beast Boy uncomfortable standing next to her. He felt the rest of her strength leave her, and did his best to hold her up straight.
"It's already over, isn't it?" Shadow asked in a quiet, amused voice. "The Bond has broken through. I can sense it from here. And now it will slowly begin tearing you apart."
"Leila, what's wrong? Are you hurt somewhere? I don't understand!" Beast Boy looked at her face, and he could see that she was staring forward, not really at anything in particular.
"Beast… Boy…" Leila gasped. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with sadness and regret. "I'm so… sorry…" And with that, she collapsed entirely, and a bit of dark blood gushed from her mouth. Beast Boy's eyes widened in horror. He looked up at Shadow, who seemed less bemused now.
"What's happening?" he demanded. "What are you doing to her?"
"Nothing," Shadow replied evenly. "She did this to herself when she ran away. Now hand her over before she makes even more trouble for the people around her."
"No!" Beast Boy said forcefully. "I won't just hand her over. If your Master is the one hurting her then I won't let her go back!"
"My, my," Shadow said dryly. "Pretending to be chivalrous, are we? Well… I suppose I have no choice, then." Shadow lifted one hand, and suddenly a huge boulder tore itself out of the earth and launched itself at Beast Boy and Leila. With a gasp, Beast Boy morphed into a gorilla. Keeping Leila firmly cradled in one of his giant arms, he used the other to break the rock into a million pieces. Letting out a harsh gorilla scream, Beast Boy crouched and prepared for another attack. But then he froze, every inch of him reeling as if he'd been electrocuted. The slim form of a girl had approach to join Shadow, one hand raised. More boulders began hovering around her. Blue eyes looked gravely at Beast Boy, and he could tell that she recognized him a little. He morphed back into his human form, and with a choking sound whispered her name.
"Terra…"
"Beast Boy," Terra said matter-of-factly.
"You… you're…"
"Shadow taught me some tricks, so I promised I'd help him get his friend back," Terra said nonchalantly. Beast Boy could tell that she still didn't remember him entirely. Her only memories were of him trying to prove to her that she was the person he had fallen in love with so long ago.
"Terra, no," Beast Boy said more firmly. "This guy is bad news. He's hurting Leila, and the person he works for—"
"Is closer than you think." Beast Boy turned around just in time to see a fist flying at him. It connected with his nose and he heard a harsh snap of bone breaking as he was forced back onto the pavement. He looked up quickly, and gasped when he saw the familiar form of Slade.
"What are you doing with her?" Beast Boy demanded, ignoring the pain of his broken nose and the blood that was trickling down into his mouth and over his chin. Slade stooped over and grabbed Leila from the ground by the back of her shirt. She didn't react. It seemed that she really was out cold.
"Bringing her home," Slade said, his voice filled with malicious humor. "I told you to be careful who you trusted, Beast Boy."
And then something connected with Beast Boy's head. His vision spun for a second, but he did see Slade slinging Leila over his shoulder and walking away before the darkness claimed him.
Author's Note: And there you have it, folks! Thank you for being so patient with me.
I know it's been forever since I updated last. Just took me some time to get over the trauma of having my stories stolen from me. Seriously, it's a horrible feeling. I can't even stand thieves anymore. Even Robin Hood and Aladin and Flynn Rider seem like jerks to me now. Sigh. Anyways, spread the word people: La Quinta Inn and Suites is the worst establishment you could possibly stay at. The hotel got us robbed (it was an inside job by any standards) and then didn't even compensate us in any way (we stayed in a room covered in fingerprinting dust for two days because we had no other options). They suck. Spread the word, spread the word!
Anyways, now for more positive topics. Thanks for reading the latest chapter of my story. I hope you liked it :D I'm planning about five more chapters before the story concludes (perhaps more or perhaps less, I'm not positive yet) so I hope you look forward to the ending :D Please comment/subscribe if you like ^v^ Have a great day!
