Teen Titans

Carved Glass

.:Chapter Eight:.

The Forgotten Past

The rundown shack had been built against a smelly, dirty building where mommy worked. We were never to go there. I remembered that. It had been deeply engrained in our minds: that place was bad. People were always in it, always laughing in a way that didn't make me feel nice, and mommy always cried when she came home late at night, smelling like the building and like smoke and looking broken and sad. Brother and I tried to comfort her, and she would wrap her arms around us and tell us that we were the only things she loved, the only things worth living for. Mommy wanted us to go to school, wanted us to be like other kids. But we couldn't afford new clothes, and mommy couldn't take us to the school that was at least twenty minutes away from the shack we lived in. She had to work. That's why brother and I decided to take ourselves to school. That would make mommy happy, and then she wouldn't have to be sad about us anymore. The path to the school was long and we got tired. Brother made all the shadows go away. He always did that sort of thing for me in our little shack. The shadows were scary, but brother always said they ran away when you wished for it hard enough. There were a few cars driving on the road, and brother and I wondered if one of them could take us to school. But mommy had always said not to talk to strangers, so we kept walking.

We got pretty lost. My feet hurt, and brother held my hand to keep me from tripping. I stared up at him and wondered when we would get to school. "Do you know the way?" I asked. "Not really," he replied. I was worried. "What if mommy comes home and sees we're gone?" I asked. "I don't know," he replied. My brother didn't know a lot.

It was nearly dark when we finally got somewhere. But this somewhere was not school. It was a beautiful place, filled with lights and pretty buildings—not the shacks and smelly buildings we were used to. The cars were not as scary, and all the buildings had big windows and when we looked through them we saw beautiful things. "Is this heaven?" I asked my brother. "I don't know," he replied. We kept walking, and then we heard a big sound. I guess I'd heard it before, but not quite like that. It wasn't a typical siren, like those ambulances that mommy talked about. It was sharper, with a dinging to it. We looked around and saw that one of the big glass windows had been broken up. Someone was trying to leave with big bags. "Is he a thief?" my brother asked. "I think so," I replied. I stared at him as he looked over his shoulder. Then I reached out and said, "Stop!" He seemed to hit a wall, and looked about like he was frightened. Then someone came out of the broken windows. A tall man all dressed in black. He didn't look at us, only took the bad guy back towards the broken window. I wondered if he was a cop. Mommy said cops could be mean. "We should leave," I said.

"I'll take you home," said a voice. We turned and saw a man with a pretty face, but I thought he was scary. His eyes were. But brother didn't seem to think so.

"We live in the shack next to the hotel," he said.

"Why don't I take you two in my car?" the man asked. He guided us to a dark vehicle and we drove the way brother and I had come. The man said his name was Mr. Black, and he loved helping kids like us. I was scared of him, but brother made the shadows go away and it wasn't so bad. Mr. Black brought us to a place we knew, and we told him where we lived from there. He stopped the car outside the big smelly building we lived next to and then he turned to me.

"Would you like a goodbye present, little girl?" he asked. I looked at my brother and he nodded.

"Yes, please?" I said timidly.

"Hold out your hand," the man said. I obeyed, and he set a pretty necklace into it that shimmered.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome. Now run along. I'm sure your mother must be worried about you." We got out of the car and ran to the house. Mommy wasn't there, but she came a few hours later and yelled at us for leaving. I showed her the pretty necklace the stranger gave me. She told me not to talk to strangers again.

We got to go to school. Mommy gave us directions, and we walked early every morning. Mommy knew we wanted to go, even when all the kids always laughed at us. They called us mean names and some of them did mean things like spit on us or throw food at us during lunch. But we didn't mind. We wanted to make mommy proud. So we worked really hard. Brother got really good at math, and I liked reading. Mommy really loved when I would read to her. "I'm so glad," she said to us. "So glad."

Years passed by, and brother and I found that we were not so normal. No matter how much I wished, I couldn't move shadows like my brother could. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make things change the way I could. Not to mention we never met anyone else who could do either of those things. We wanted to learn how to use these strange abilities—mommy called them "gifts." We wanted to help people. But that was never to be.

I was fourteen when he returned. But this time Mr. Black looked different.

"I see you still have my necklace," he said, and I wished at that moment that I had thrown it out when we'd left our shack next to the hotel behind in favor of a small apartment nearer our high school.

"Yes," I said finally.

"Might I come in?" Mr. Black asked. I didn't say anything, but then my mother came and the man explained who he was. She thanked him for helping her children and asked what he wanted with them. Then Mr. Black told her that he was interested in what they could do. I was shocked that he knew about my powers. But then… I supposed he did see me use them on the bank robber, back when even I didn't understand what I could do. My mother told him that we weren't interested, even though I really was. I wanted to be able to help people. Mr. Black said he would be back. Mommy was scared, and told me that Mr. Black was not a good person. We packed up and moved to another city, someplace far away from Gotham, the city we grew up in. We spent the next couple of years on the run. But fate caught up to us.

The hotel room was covered in blood. My mother was on the floor, stretched out with a terrible wound in her side. But she wouldn't die. We knew she wouldn't. Mommy was like us; she was special. We'd seen her get beaten up, and get shot, and be thrown off buildings. People had tried to hurt her all her life, but she never died. But I had never seen so much blood before. Never been so afraid before. I crouched beside my mother and shook her, calling her name and praying that she was okay. I'd never thought she could die, but staring at all the blood, I began to wonder.

"You see now, don't you?" Mr. Black said. "You can't fight it. Come with me, and I won't kill your mother. I could, you know. I know how I could. Has anyone else made her bleed like this?"

And the answer was no. No one had ever made mother bleed before. At least not like this.

"Don't hurt my mother!" my brother screamed, launching himself at Mr. Black. I knew enough about my powers then to help him, but Mr. Black was too well trained, and we were no match for him. He shoved my brother into the wall and then came towards me. Taking me by my arm, he hauled me across the room towards the door.

"No!" my brother shouted. "Laura!" I looked over my shoulder at him, even though it hurt to strain against Mr. Black's hold on my arm. My brother was racing towards us. I could see blood on his lip—he'd probably bitten his tongue when Mr. Black had shoved him into the wall. Suddenly Mr. Black threw me to the ground and I heard a distinct click above my head. The room froze for a moment. My brother stared at Mr. Black, knowing that if he made a wrong move I'd have a bullet in my head. It was odd how I didn't really fear dying in that moment. All I wanted was for my brother and my mother to be safe. I didn't dare look up from where I sat, my cheek resting against the ground. My stomach was twisted up into knots, and I felt like I was going to be sick. Maybe I should puke on this jerk's shoes before I die. I thought mutinously, but I was too genuinely ill to be able to entertain a thought like that for very long. I heard my brother say something in a low voice, and then Mr. Black replied in a voice that was scarily pleased. Then I felt something hard hit my head and the world became nothing but black.

I knew the rest, I suppose. I woke up in a dark dungeon cell with no memory of who I was or what had happened to me. And now that my memories had returned, I could feel questions pouring into my mind. My entire body was trembling, and I felt that same aching sickness that I had when Mr. Black—Slade, as I knew him now—had taken us away. I remembered my mother's eyes, empty as if she were dead. I'd seen her look like that before, but it had been frightening all the same. Was she still alive somewhere? And what about my brother? I thought of his dark hair and eyes, so unlike mine. He took after his unknown father, my mother had always said. I took after my mom. I was glad of that. It was a bit odd to be glad of anything, shut up in a prison cell with my arms and legs tied down and memories being fed into me like drugs. But I knew they were true memories and not some of the tricks that Slade seemed so fond of. I had a sense of… remembrance, and I knew that no machine could fabricate a feeling like that. Even so, it seemed altogether strange to be thinking of these things. I hadn't remembered anything for a long time. And then there was that one memory… My name. My true name. Laura. Amusing how it almost sounded like "Leila", the name I'd chosen for myself. I clung to that memory more than the others. It seemed to give me a little strength. A little piece of the self I'd lost to Slade and his evil plots. Laura. The person I should have been.

I'm not sure how long I sat in the darkness, feeling both burdened and freed by the streams of memories that kept flooding into my mind even after the droid had left the room. It seemed that remembering my name and the faces of my brother and mother had opened the gateway to the rest of my memories. I would have thought they'd disappeared, but there they were only a little worse for wear. I wished I could talk to my brother or my mother. I wished I could go back to that time, before the pain. Before Slade. Even before Beast Boy, who had become both my sun and my sin. He knew now. He knew that I was a traitor, and he wouldn't forgive me for that. I had been naïve to allow myself even to entertain the thought that he'd be there for me when I was… well, what I was. Still… a part of me wanted to hope that he would be coming for me. That he and his friends would burst through the door and cut my chains and free me. That Beast Boy would take me in his arms and tell me that everything would be all right. I felt something cold on my face, and realized that I still had enough of a heart left amongst all the broken pieces to be crying. Crying because I had betrayed Beast Boy. Crying because I no longer had my family. Crying because every hope I had—hope of seeing Beast Boy once more, hope of talking with my mother and brother, hope to be free once and for all—all seemed too impossible.

I'm not sure how much time had passed—maybe a few hours, maybe a few days? It was hard to say. I still felt so weak. The door opened. Was that sound real or one of the dozens of memories flitting about in my head? I felt something rubbing my wrists, then my ankles—the chains? Their weight lifted suddenly, and I felt warm arms closing around me.

"Laura…" A soft breath in my ear said. It was a familiar voice, and yet not familiar. Too deep. Too rough. But the gentle embrace was enough to calm me. And I knew, suddenly, who this was. Both who he had been, and who he had become—all because of me, probably.

"Nathan…" I murmured softly, and I wasn't sure he could hear my weak voice. But then I felt him stiffen, and I knew he had heard.

"You… Laura, you…?"

"I remember." The two words seemed to be having an odd effect on my brother. His body shook, but I could hear the relief in his deep sigh. And when I managed to open my eyes a little, I saw tears gleaming in his dark eyes.

"Oh, Laura." Nathan nearly choked. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of this. I can't hide anymore. I can't hide behind his mask."

"I know," I managed to say. I wished I could lift my hand and stroke his black hair, but I was already using up so much strength just talking. So I forced myself to open my eyes fully, even though the effort hurt. I looked him in the eyes and tried to smile. "You should be free, Nathan." I reached up and touched his shoulder. He gasped softly. I'm not really sure what happened, then, but it felt like a dream afterwards. My powers had never been the most precise in nature, but at that moment I could just feel what I needed to do. The nerves in my brother's shoulder had tightened and grown around the microchip, so it was difficult to fish it out, but just when I thought I couldn't go on anymore, I felt a small, light weight in my hand and knew that it was out. My brother was free. I wanted to say something. To tell him to go and be free—for both of us. I wanted to tell him to find mother and tell her that we both loved her. That we both never lost our desire to do something good with the gifts we'd been given. That we wanted nothing more than to be like Beast Boy—and the Titans.

Heroes.

But there was nothing left in me. I'd used up all the energy I had, and the pain was too much. So I took one last breath, rested my head back against the cold table, closed my eyes, and went into my last sleep. It wasn't so scary, all things considered. I was just falling asleep, and while I knew I would never wake up, that didn't seem to matter to me. I felt that with my last action—sacrificing what little strength I had left for my brother—I had redeemed myself after being used by Slade for evil for so long. I could die now knowing that I had at least done my mother proud. And Beast Boy… Would he forgive me, after all? I hoped he would. As my consciousness faded into some darkness that seemed wider, emptier than any I had known before, I felt one last thought weave its way back to the self I was leaving behind:

I will always love you, Beast Boy. Forgive me.

./~.:.~\\.

Something was wrong. Sensors beeped and the droid made a soft whining sound and lights flashed—it was all a bit too much to take in at first. Slade moved towards the dozens of screens he'd set up and began typing. One of the screens showed the room where the girl was being kept. She was still there—that was good—but her chains had been removed and she was lying very still, very white. Rage seemed to consume him for a moment. He hated losing. How dare that little girl take the easy way out? If she weren't already dead—and he suspected that she was, based on the droid's schizophrenic behavior—he would go and kill her himself. Slade pressed the off button on her screen. His attention was drawn to the next problem, and this one drew all of his attention right away. His barrier sensor had picked up the very presences he had most wanted to keep away at that moment. Slade called for his apprentice, knowing that he must take action as soon as possible. It was a longer wait than usual. But Shadow finally came, dressed all in black with half of his face covered.

"Master?" he asked in a low voice. There was something different about him, but Slade was too distracted by his rage to think much of it.

"The Titans are at the edge of these tunnels," Slade said, working hard to conceal the fury in his voice. "Go and destroy them."

"Yes, Master." Shadow moved away slowly, but Slade turned away and didn't notice the anger or the pain in his apprentice's demeanor. After a few minutes of watching his screens, Slade turned to the black droid.

"Go and remove the device," he hissed. "And deal with the girl." The droid beeped twice, to announce that it had received its orders, and then moved off into the labyrinths of Slade's lair. Then Slade turned to the screen again. The Titans were coming—how they knew where to look and why exactly they were attacking now was a mystery. Maybe the little girl told them of his lair? But that seemed unlikely. Regardless, Slade knew that Shadow would be able to stop them. And he would, since he didn't know that his sister—Slade's leverage over him—was dead. Slade stared hard at the screens, his attention consumed by the Titans and his hatred for them. At that moment, he was at his most dangerous and yet most vulnerable state. His anger made him reckless, which could lead to his downfall—as it had before. Slade clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. The Titans would not interfere this time. He would never let them.


Author's Note: Thanks for reading the latest chapter of my story. This was a really heavy one to write. I seriously got emotional at least three times while I was writing it (it's a bit hard to write when you're choking back tears ,). Sometimes you just get really attached to your characters and it hurts to lose them or to make them suffer. But sometimes you must do what it best for the story. With that, I thank you for reading and hope you were as emotionally touched by reading this chapter as I was by writing it. Please leave a review/comment and let me know what you thought of it. Thanks.

-LR