My ramblings -
Another chapter, yay. Back with Wufei, and a little bit of filler content to help with the atmosphere after the fight, and to show how much some characters have already moved on or changed since the war.
Same warnings as before - some dudes like other dudes. This chapter has no to little swearing, no violence, just mentioning of blood and some other...non-sexual body fluids.
Some Things Don't Need To Be Said
Chapter 9 - Brothers-in-arms
After the fight - or the beating, as neither of my colleagues fought back - things were oddly calm.
I was taken into the bathroom and locked in - I could have easily broken the lock, but I really needed the time to myself right then, and I didn't want the punishment of a taser, or worse.
So I sat myself down on the uncomfortable bathroom rug and relaxed into Lotus position, focusing on my breathing. Taking myself into a meditative state was, non-surprisingly, a lot harder after the adrenalin rush of a fight. Focusing on calming my breathing and heart was mostly what I did - rather than transporting myself to some Eden, green and beautiful like L5, I was just aware of being in the bathroom, and breathing.
I was aware of the pain in my bruised knuckles and the blood still on the back of my hand. I was aware of the noise outside - mostly the guards muttering and occasionally snapping a surname for reasons unknown to me. I was aware when they escorted Yuy downstairs because I could hear his footsteps and his still quiet swearing in Japanese, because it probably hurt like a bitch to walk.
Good.
I couldn't meditate as fully as I wanted to, but I had time and space to think. What would they do to us now? Room-wise, there was no combination that wouldn't cause either arguing or fucking, but I guessed they didn't care so much about sex, so maybe I would be put in the same room as Winner.
That would be tough. I still didn't know how he was faring and what he felt about what I did - if he felt his partner deserved it, but maybe he would have liked to do it himself, or try talking; that was a lot more like Winner, and Burton would dutifully agree, but surely as long as Yuy was around, he would always be a temptation. I doubted, from what I saw so briefly, that it was the first time.
After that, I didn't think of much. I didn't get to my Eden, but I didn't deserve to - I deserved mindfulness, and that meant being aware of my physical pain and the confusing mixture of emotions that were threatening to overwhelm me. There were points where I nearly 'freaked out', as Maxwell would have said, but I kept my control.
With my eyes shut and no clock at my disposal, I didn't know how long had passed. An hour - maybe two. I had a feeling this wasn't punishment - just keeping me under lock and key. What more punishment could they do anyway? I'm sure if there was some sort of psych evaluation before we stood in front of the Court, this would be brought up - but beyond that, I wasn't sure if anything else would happen.
Eventually, the lock turned and someone yanked me up by the collar, which surprised me so much that the guard was lucky he didn't get a suddenly strike to the face. But I managed to control myself and remember where I was - and the ramifications for hitting a guard.
I raised my hands to show surrender once more, and I was dragged from the room and, to my surprise, back into my room, rather than the other room as I had expected. The guard commanded me to sit on the bed and I did, staring at him, not letting his power get to me. It was hard to do when not stranding straight, but essential in situations like this.
"Now, boy," I could feel myself bristle at the term but I said nothing, just kept watching. "I don't know what that fight was about, and I quite frankly don't want to know. Sometimes in this place it's like guarding a zoo of horny chimps." There was another guard at the door, presumably making sure I couldn't make a run for it and no-one would come in either, and he sniggered at this apparent joke.
"To be honest, we expected more from the great Gundam pilots. Fighting, maybe, but not with each other. You've hardly put up any resistance at all - I guess you're not so strong without Gundaminam alloy all around you and weapons up your sleeves. At the end of the day, you're just kids. So that's how you're going to be treated from now on - like kids. You'll do as we say, when we say it."
I tensed up but tried to think of anything else with all the insults thrown around me. My Eden was floating away, impossible to reach, something closer, something more real - Maxwell. If Maxwell were here, he would be trying to get into the room despite the armed guard and yelling my case, that they deserved it. I hadn't really thought about it much before, but Maxwell always had my back during the war and despite our...little tiffs, he always agreed and supported me when it mattered. Like now. I felt my shoulders slump and I closed my eyes, rubbing at my temples.
The guard snorted."You think you've got it bad with a headache when you gave one of your so-called friends a broken nose, and the other...well, best not describe it, but we both know what you did and as blokes, we both know how you damaged his pride as much as anything physical."
I listened to him witter on, but I wasn't really listening. My head was starting to hurt, badly - this was no headache, it was one of the migraines I was prone to when I was stressed and when I didn't use my glasses enough - I guessed they were downstairs on the kitchen table. I felt the familiar pull of nausea and winced. These spells always came on rather quickly, and the guards didn't keep the sumatriptan* on them that Sally had prescribed of me. Two of those and lying in a dark room for an hour or so made me feel better. The paracetamol they would offer wouldn't help, but maybe I could convince them to make it dark for a bit.
"I am...sorry, for what I did. And I will apologise to my colleagues, in time. But right now, I am starting to get a migraine. If you look at my notes, it does mention this, and that you have to phone Dr. Sally Po so she can bring my prescription around."
I tried to explain with patience and politeness, but my stomach was churning and the room was swimming. The guard grunted. "Anything so you don't have lift a finger in cleaning up the mess you made, huh? There's blood everywhere, and a tea stain on the carpet - do you think we're going to clean it up, huh?"
He was worried about stains on the carpet? If he wasn't careful, there was going to be another stain. I swallowed hard and pressed a hand to my forehead. "Sir," I addressed, patiently. "I...feel very unwell, and I need to get to the bathroom. You can guard or escort me, or whatever you would like, but I do need to get there."
The guard gave a laugh, and the one on the door echoed him. "It must suck, Chang, that we have power over you, and this is your more vulnerable moment, and this is when you need me to say yes, and...well, I just don't know."
I tried to turn my head. I really did. But I couldn't focus on keeping my nausea down, and I couldn't turn my head in time as I vomited onto the guard's military boots and the floor. He was lucky he wasn't closer, let's just say that.
I wasn't proud. In fact, my eyes were streaming and I could barely breathe, with mucus coming out of my nose; I was disgusted at myself. But I had warned the man, very clearly, and we could have made it in time. The guard growled and instantly stood. "You did that on purpose!" He accused, as if I could do that at will. I couldn't reply, with my throat raggedly sore and my head pounding. All I could do was shake it, and even then the way the room span made me feel worse.
The guard growled and quick marched away from me. "Peterson, with me. Leave Chang to clean up the mess. They need us downstairs to keep the rest separate and our friend here isn't going anywhere."
They marched down the stairs, leaving the bedroom door wide open. I desperately wanted to get to it and close it, and the curtains too, but any sort of moving and the room span. I could barely breathe and I couldn't see if there were tissues to clean myself up with. This was my punishment, some sort of karma, for what I did.
All I could do was sit there, and shake. I never normally shook after an episode, but this one had been particularly bad and I didn't even have low grade painkillers to help me. I kept trying to lie on my side but the room would spin and I would nearly throw up again, so sitting straight up on the bed, shaking, was all I felt I could do.
I didn't know how long had past until there was a small knock at the door. I looked up, expecting to see maybe one of the more timid female guards with cleaning supplies, but it was actually Yuy. Yuy, knocking on an open door, not charging over to me after what I did to him.
He stepped in the room - which was, technically, still his too - and looked me up and down. "We saw the vomit on the guard's boots," he explained, voice more gruff than usual from my earlier behaviour. "I...remembered about your migraines and what you told us about them. They wouldn't let me phone Sally, but..."
I realised then he was holding out a glass of water and two small pills. I took them, hands shaking, my teeth chattering against the glass as I forced the low grade painkillers down.
"...Thank you, Yuy," I finally said, my own voice hoarse from throwing up. "You...didn't need to. None of you had to, but...especially you."
Yuy paused, then shook his head. "What I did was very wrong. It...wasn't the first time, as I'm sure you guessed. We both deserved what we got - but I'd avoid Trowa right now, he doesn't feel quite as apologetic as me." He added, with what looked to be a small smile.
He stopped talking and went over to my duffel bag. I tried to stand up to prevent him from whatever he was going to do, but the dizziness overwhelmed me and I fell back onto the bed, grimacing as multicoloured stars flashed in front of my vision. "...What...what are you doing?" I called out, unable to see or stop him.
He was at my side suddenly - it probably only felt sudden as I had been unable to look up - and placed some folded clothes at my side. "Clean clothes," he explained. "Your's are filthy even by pilot standards...blood and vomit isn't a good look on you, Wufei."
I turned my head so slowly, then opened my eyes to see they were the green silk PJs that I had bought when we still had our freedom. They had quickly become a favourite for lazy days reading or doing occasional work in my journal. Just seeing them made me feel better.
"...Thank you, Yu- ...Heero." I corrected and there was definitely a smile on his face this time. "I do...need your help though." I confessed, even my voice trembling. "If I move too much, I...get rather dizzy." Heero nodded, as if he had known this was to be the case. "Okay. Just sit still for a moment, let's take things slowly. I'll be back." He promised, leaving the bedroom.
By the time he had returned I had managed to take off my top - luckily just a lounge around top that could now be chucked, since it was so stained; come to think of it, the size and colour was more reminiscent of Maxwell than myself, but he wasn't around to be devastated that his black 'Rock 'n Roller' top had been disposed of.
Yuy was holding a tray that had a cup of tea, a small bowl of water, and a wash cloth on it. He came to my side and put the tray on a nearby table. "First, let's clean you up. That'll make you feel a little better." He said, softly. I wondered where he had got this sudden compassion and nursing skills from, then remembered his time with Trowa - maybe even in his half concious state, the perfect soldier had been able to pick up some tips.
He wet the wash cloth and gently cleaned my face. The water was so cool and my face warm - he pressed the cloth to my forehead for a moment and for a second everything was in balance. When he took it away, I found myself mumbling, "don't stop..."
Yuy nodded reassuringly. "Once we get you comfy, I'll leave it on your forehead. Without the pills, that's as much as we can do." He said, a little downheartedly. "You keep saying 'we'," I pointed out, as he gently cleaned my chest and then both my hands, ridding them of the blood but not the deserved bruises.
"Well, when...we all noticed the vomit, Quatre was the one who figured out what happened and was able to tune into you, or whatever he calls it. He sensed you needed help and he wanted to go, but he also wanted to stay with Trowa. So...I think I came up here for all of us, not just me." He clarified, clearly putting a lot of concentrating into explaining it all.
I nodded and regretted it instantly, closing my eyes tight. In response, Yuy drew the curtains, which helped a little. With my eyes still closed, I felt him very gently putting the PJ shirt on me, the comfortable and cool silk instantly reassuring and making me feel closer to L5. Maybe once this migraine simmered down, I could use the feeling of the material to make it to L5, even just in my head.
I insisted on doing the buttons up, even though my hands were shaking and my eyes were swimming. On the second attempt I did them all up correctly, and then blushed as Yuy moved to my fly. "Relax, Wufei," his tone was slightly teasing, "I don't fuck just anyone. You're just a bit too shaky to do it yourself, so let me help."
I nodded and swallowed as he carefully took off my pants. "I wish you could have a bath - that would probably help. But you couldn't do it on your own right now, and of course you don't want the guards in there." I nodded in agreement as Yuy gently helped me put my pants on, thankfully elesticated so no more embarassment with a brush of his hand on my fly. He took my socks off last, and then gently helped lay me down on on the bed, supporting much of my weight until I was lying as comfortably as I could.
"Quatre helped me make up the tea you have when you have a migraine. I hope it helps. I...also bought you some dried toast, because you're not meant to take pills on en empty stomach, but you can leave it if it's too much." He informed me, gruffly. He then took a straw from the tray and put it in the tea, so I barely had to lift my head to drink. I drank a little and when I pulled away, Yuy gently put the cold cloth on my forehead.
"I've...told the guards you're vomiting a lot so they won't come in here." He explained, then, as if reminding himself of something, he dragged an empty bin to the side of the bed. "I'll keep trying to get them to let me phone Sally; say you're getting worse or something. I know how much those pills help." He took one more glance around the room and, most importantly, at me, then nodded, as if satisfied with a job well done.
He turned to leave and I watched him, quiet, then I finally spoke. "What I did to you...and to Burton...it was unjust. It was not my problem to solve. But this place is so small, and Winner was hurting. I overreacted, and I'm sorry. Can you please...pass that on to Burton?"
Yuy gave a slight nod. "It's in the past. Like I said, Trowa may have forgiven you but he's not in the greatest of moods - I doubt it's an issue if you're going to be stuck in here for the rest of the day."
I nodded in agreement and closed my eyes.
"...Thank you, Yuy, for not deserting me when I needed it most. You are a true brother in arms."
He didn't say anything, but I heard the door softly close as he left, and I tried to meditate myself back to Eden.
*Sumatriptan is a real drug for migraines, which I take myself. I think you can get a weaker version mixed in with other painkillers over the counter in the UK, but you can only get the pure stuff from the doctor. You take one at the first sign of a migraine - if it seems to work, you take another one. If it doesn't, you don't. ...I know, I don't get the science behind it either. But you can take all other painkillers with it too. Poor Wuffies. Migraines suck.
To be continued
