All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

With a heavy sigh I opened my truck door Monday morning to face another week of school. I had missed a lot lately and knew people were getting inquisitive. To stifle some of the curious looks I decided to drive myself to school and just meet Edward there. He didn't seem to mind as much as I thought he would and for that I was grateful.

I had spotted Edward the instant I pulled into the parking lot and tried to focus all my attention on him. He stood casually leaning against the door of his car staring in my direction seemingly oblivious to the light rain that fell around him. I was so focused on him that I failed to see Mike as he approached me until it was too late.

"Hey Bella." Mike said as he stepped in front of me blocking my view of Edward. I had to angle my head up to look at him causing my face to get slightly wet from under my hood.

"Hey Mike."

"How are you? I haven't seen you in a while." I tried to fight the waves of irritation I was feeling upon hearing the genuine concern in his voice. He was a nice guy after all.

"I'm perfect."

"Where have you been? I've been worried." He admitted sheepishly.

"I had a bad case of the flu is all. I'm feeling much better now." I lied easily.

"I heard you were in the hospital." He said in a soft voice. "I thought flu season was over."

"Yeah well…I guess not. I just got a little dehydrated and needed some extra fluids. It was no big deal. They sent me home in no time." I smiled trying to play off my time in the hospital. I idly wondered how he had found out I had been in the hospital as I caught Edward approaching out of the corner of my eye.

I breathed a silent sigh of relief as he stood behind me and took my hand. "Good morning Mike." He said in a pleasant even voice.

"Edward." Mike responded never taking his eyes off me.

"Bella we need to go now or we'll be late for our first classes." Edward said as he leaned down possessively to whisper in my ear.

I blushed and waved a quick goodbye to Mike as I allowed Edward to pull me away.

The next few weeks went by surprisingly well after that first day back. Most people seemed to buy my flu story with little convincing. Mike proved to be the only one who required further explanation. Beyond being utterly worn out at the end of each and everyday I was doing fine. I took to taking naps every afternoon and they seemed to help a lot.

The pain was starting to worsen but I kept it carefully hidden from Edward. He didn't need to worry about me. I was due back to the doctor's soon and could ask for an increased dosage of pain medication. I was a little concerned he might put me on a morphine shot, but surely I wasn't that bad yet. Of course I knew what that meant, but I refused to mention anything to anyone. I was steadily getting worse just as my doctor had promised I would, but no one would know by looking at me. I was becoming a master at hiding how I was feeling. But there were still a few people I could not hide from—like today.

The day had dragged on. I was in so much pain I almost couldn't bear it. I refused to give into it and tried my best to hide how I was feeling. It had come on so suddenly that I didn't really have time to adjust to it. By lunch I was a mess.

I walked slower than usual to lunch arriving late. Edward was there at the door waiting for me with a look of concern.

"Are you all right?"

I forced a smile on my face. "I'm fine." I could feel the cool sheet of sweat on my forehead as I gradually made my way to the table I usually sat at with Edward and sat down.

Edward never left my side keeping one hand on the small of my back. There was already a tray of food in front of him, knowing that he was not going to eat anything, I helped myself to the first thing my hand touched. I took a small bit of one of the french-fries I had grabbed and returned the uneaten portion to the tray. My stomach churned as I forced myself to swallow the food.

I looked up at Edward and saw his forehead creased in worry. I smiled again determined to make it through the rest of the day. He looked past me and I turned to see who he was looking at. I found his eyes locked with Jaspers. I silently cursed under my breath knowing what Jasper was telling him exactly how I was feeling in his mind.

"Bella." He said reproachfully as his eyes once again fell upon me.

I gritted my teeth. "I said I'm fine."

I looked down and once again nibbled on the food on the tray taking deep breaths to help control the pain. Edward remained silent for the rest of lunch sighing occasionally in obvious disgust.

Once the bell rang I gingerly got up from my seat and Edward instantly came to my side. He helped me to our next class, remaining especially watchful as I took my time getting there. It felt good to sit again, and I was thankful for the distraction once the teacher arrived.

Minutes into the teacher's lecture a fresh wave of pain coursed through me causing me to whimper softly as I clutched my hands to the table in a death grip. My body was shaking and my breathing had increased. Unable to take anymore I turned to Edward with tear filled eyes.

"Edward." I managed to murmur through the pain.

He took one look at me, and his face twisted in horror. Before I knew what was happening he scooped me up into his arms and began walking out of the classroom. I could hear the teacher demanding to know what was going on as we left the room, but he simply ignored him as he swiftly made his way to the parking lot. I grabbed fists full of his shirt as I clutched myself closer to him. I breathed in his scent as I tried to escape my world of pain.

He began to gently place me down but I held tighter still. "Don't let go." I half whispered half whimpered.

"I can't drive with you like this Bella." He replied in a strained voice.

I just shook my head. "Don't let go." I needed him near me. His scent was the only thing keeping me sane.

"Get in the back seat with her. I'll drive."

I didn't know where she had come from, but I was thankful Alice had appeared. I buried my head in the crook between Edward's shoulder and neck as he climbed into the backseat with me in his arms. The drive was silent. I wasn't sure where they were taking me, I just knew they were getting me help and that gave me comfort.

The ride was short and before I knew it I was inside again. I looked around to discover I was once again at Edward's house.

"Edward what is it?" I heard Carlisle ask.

"She's really bad. I've never seen her in this much pain." His voice sounded tormented. I wanted to comfort him and tell him everything was all right but I couldn't move my mouth. It was clenched so tight against the pain it was almost impossible to move.

"Bella, have you taken your pain pills today?"

"Hmm." I managed to mumble.

I could hear him fumbling with some things in a bag. "I'm going to give you something for the pain. Try to relax."

I felt a sharp prick in my arm then relief flood through me. My jaw throbbed as it began to relax. I could feel the tension leaving my body and an over whelming sense of sleepiness course through me.

I took a few deep breaths and reached up to rub my forehead with my hand finding it covered in sweat. I opened my eyes and discovered Edward's anxious eyes on me. I smiled sleepily. "Thank you."

"Sleep now Bella. You need to rest." I heard Carlisle say as I once again felt myself become airborne. I was too tired to stay awake to discover where I was being taken.

I knew whose arms I was in and felt safe as I drifted off to sleep.

Slowly I opened my eyes to find myself in Edward's room covered with a thick blanket. It was still light out so I must not have been out for very long. I sat up rubbing my eyes as I looked around the room for him.

"Edward?" I asked sleepily when I did not find him right away.

A second later the door opened and he walked in kneeling at my side. "You're awake." He murmured as he laid his head in my lap and wrapped his arms around my waist. I reached down and began running my fingers through his silky bronze hair.

"How are you feeling?"

I knew what he really wanted to know and I quickly put him at ease. "The pain is completely gone. I'm still a little tired, but much better."

"I was so worried." He admitted in a low voice, burring his head deeper into my lap.

It was time we talked. I needed to be completely honest with him about my condition. I was getting worse faster than I anticipated and I needed to prepare him.

"Edward, we need to talk." I said gently.

He lifted his head to look at me. "I know. I've actually been speaking with Carlisle while you've been sleeping and he thinks these treatments might actually help. They couldn't hurt, and it may at least help with the pain." He rambled on, his voice sounding desperate.

I sighed as I took in his expression. This was not going to be easy. "Edward." I whispered as I raised my right hand to cover his mouth, silencing him. "I'm getting worse."

He looked down taking my hand from his mouth and holding it tightly within his. "That's why I think the treatments…"

I cut him off before he could continue. "Today was only a glimpse of what is to come. Sooner than anyone of us anticipated I am not going to be able to go to school or even walk anymore." I paused briefly to cough. I still had not gotten rid of the cough I had from my illness weeks earlier, yet another sign.

"Most days I can hide my pain." He shot his head up as he realized what I was saying-that I had been in great pain longer than even he realized. I smiled weakly to reassure him. "But it's getting too bad and constant for me to simply ignore anymore."

I looked away as I prepared myself for my next statement. I had a lot of time on my hands recently to consider why Edward wouldn't change me. Why he was so hesitant to even consider it. He didn't want me for all eternity. Though it hurt to realize this I also understood. I was thankful for every moment he was willing to give me and I would be damned if I was going to let his memories of me be tainted.

"I don't want you with me at the end." I breathed slowly, emphasizing each word to make sure he understood me clearly.

"What?" He demanded sharply.

"I want you to have only good memories of our time together. I've thought about this a lot and I understand now why you don't want to change me, and I'm ok with it." I said as I turned back to smile at him. He looked confused and almost angry, but I had to continue. "I just can't let you see me as I get worse, for the same reason I left my mom. I love you too much to do that to you."

It was quiet for a few moments before he responded. "What do you mean you know why I won't change you?' He demanded his voice raising a few octaves.

I was taken aback by how furious he seemed and it took me a moment to respond. I looked down at our hands. "I understand that you don't want me around forever. I'm sorry I have been pressuring you so much. I never understood why you wanted me around in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for every second we've had together."

He reached forward grabbing my face firmly, yet gently, in his hands forcing me to look at him. "Isabella Swan do you truly believe that I don't want you the way you want me? That I don't want you forever?"

I nodded my head as best I could with him holding me. "It's ok." I assured him.

He scowled at me. "No it's not ok." He shook his head. "You foolish girl. I cannot exist without you. You have changed me in ways I never thought possible. When you go…I will follow soon after." He stated firmly.

I blinked my eyes a few times as my mind took in his words. I chose to ignore his last statement afraid to admit to myself what he could be implying. "I don't understand." I finally said.

"Bella, I love you. I do want you forever. There's nothing in this world I want more—but I refuse to damn you and take away your soul. You are my angel from heaven. I will not make you a monster from hell. You're too precious to me."

"But that doesn't make sense. You would rather watch me suffer each day in horrible pain—watch me wither away to nothing than make me yours forever—make me what you are. How is that love?" I knew I was hitting below the belt, but I didn't care. If he knew what laid ahead for me…

"You know it's not…" He stopped short dropping my face. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration breathing out slowly rubbing his temples as if in pain.

Eventually he looked up at me again with a calculating look on his face. "I'll make you a deal."

"Deal?" I asked skeptically.

He nodded his head. "You agree to undergo any and all treatments your doctor suggests." I opened my mouth to protest but he kept talking, ignoring me. "And if after every avenue has been explored, and I do mean every avenue." He said firmly giving me a stern look. "And nothing works…" He sighed, "then I will agree to change you." He looked pained as he uttered his last few words.

"That's a lot to ask of me." I whispered as my mind flooded with memories of previous treatments I had that failed.

"And you of me." He responded not skipping a beat.

I could feel hot tears filling my eyes as I looked upon the man I loved. "I don't know if I'm strong enough to endure them again." I breathed in a hoarse voice as I tried to hold my tears back.

Edward locked his eyes with mine making it impossible for me to look away. "I will be there every step of the way. I will never leave your side. Please, Bella? Just try." He pleaded.

A few silent tears slid down my face. I searched his eyes for a moment and found that I was unable to deny him. I nodded my head in agreement, my throat too tight to speak.

He leaned his forehead against mine, grabbing my face with his hands, and closed his eyes. "Thank you." He whispered and I could hear the relief thick in his voice.