Disclaimer: All SMs
Thank you for the reviews.
This story is going to be told through Bella and Paul's pov, some stuff will be missed out like the fishing trip with Billy and Jake, like i said in the last chapter this is not about them or the rest of the pack even though they will be in it just not as much.
A Heartbroken Man
I led in bed that night and watched as it got later and later, I was beginning to fear my nightmares and it was that fear that would stop me from falling asleep. I must have fallen asleep at some point because a bang on my bedroom door made me jump awake.
"Bells we need to leave in half an hour" Charlie shouted through the door before I could hear him walk down the stairs.
I got up and dressed putting on as many layers as possible, I remembered from when I was young how cold it could be sat around on the beach. I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen where Charlie was sat drinking coffee.
"Bells I made us some sandwiches and I packed a few bottles of water, there is toast in the toaster for you keeping warm" Charlie said without looking up.
I walked over to the toaster and pulled out the two pieces of toast before sitting at the table and eating them in silence, Charlie had also made me a cup of coffee and as much as I hated the taste I drank it greedily to make me wake up.
I cleared up the kitchen while Charlie loaded up the cruiser with all his fishing gear, I saw him place two rods on the back seat. I guess he hoped that I would want to join him at some point and want to fish.
"Bells you ready everything is packed?"
"Yeah dad" I replied then followed him out to the car and got in the passenger side.
The trip to La Push was made in silence, we made short comments on the weather and how Billy had given us permission to fish on the Reservations private beach, as we pulled up on the gravel path by the beach I helped Charlie unload the car and carry everything towards the shore.
The second rod stayed in the car I made a point of ignoring it and so did Charlie, I sat on the beach and watched as he set everything up and cast his line into the sea before sitting down a short distance away from me.
Our silence continued until the rod started to jump and then I watched in anticipation as Charlie reeled in the fish and placed its flapping body into the bucket that was nearby, he hooked new bait on the line and cast it out again before coming to sit back down.
You sure you don't want me to get the other rod from the car?"
"No dad I'm good just watching you, fishing really is not my thing."
"This helped after your mom left, coming out here doing something proactive working at something and getting a reward for it" Charlie spoke after a few minutes of silence.
"That's why I like cooking, it takes my mind off stuff" I admitted.
"Bells you are eighteen years old you shouldn't be at home cooking, you should be out with your friends letting them help you get over your broken heart."
"All my friends left" I said trying not to let the tears escape from my eyes.
"I thought you made some other friends at school, the Newton boy and the Stanley girl?" Charlie asked
"The Cullen's didn't really mix with others at school, so I didn't either." I replied while wrapping my arms around my torso to stop myself from falling apart from mentioning them.
"So you have no friends in Fork's?" Charlie asked and I could hear the frustration in his voice.
"Angela Weber is a friend"
"One friend Bella out of the whole town"
"I tried Ch-dad but I'm one of those people who don't need lots of friends" I almost yelled at him.
"I understand that kid, I'm the same I have Billy and Harry and a few of the officers from the station and that's it. Bella you need more than one friend."
"I did have more but they all left me."
"Watching you now is like watching myself almost eighteen years ago and I don't want to see you like that" Charlie said in a more softer and calmer voice.
"Huh" was my reply I didn't realise I looked like anything.
"Bells when your mom left I was a broken lonely man, I gave up all my friends for her because they didn't like her and she didn't really like them."
"Do you still love Mom?" I asked before I could stop myself from asking out loud.
"Yes I still love her she gave me you, but after seventeen years I realised I was no longer in love with her" he admitted looking back out to sea.
"So even though mom left you and got remarried you were still in love with her?" I asked shocked.
""Yes Bells I thought she was it for me, I stopped seeing other women when I met your mom and while I was still in love with her I couldn't move on."
"When did you realise that your feelings had changed?" I asked I wanted to know as much as I could while Charlie was being so open and I didn't want the conversation to end.
"When you had that accident in Phoenix three months ago, when I saw her at the hospital I was waiting for the pain in my heart that I always felt but it never came. It was then I realised that my feelings had finally changed for her and I could move on."
"How did you cope with the pain for so long?" I asked hoping that I could live with the pain.
"I didn't at first Bells I fell apart like you did, the only thing that helped was getting drunk" he replied.
"Are you telling me to get drunk?" I asked unable to hide the small grin.
"Absolutely not your under age and trust me you won't find any comfort in the bottom of a beer can" Charlie replied in his cop voice.
"Got no plans to" I mumbled back.
"How did you manage to keep your job and still get drunk?"
"Lots of chances from the last chief, and lots of gum" Charlie replied as he looked back at me and I could see his blush.
"When did you stop drinking so much?"
"Nine years ago I finally got my reality check." Charlie said suddenly sounding so sad.
"What happened?" I asked curious what would happen to make him change his drinking.
"One of the men from La Push went missing; I was working the morning shift so I went down to the Reservation to help them look for him. The man had a drink problem but it was unlike him not to go home to his family once he left the bar. It was his son who found his body on the beach that morning and it was me who found the boy curled up against his dad's body trying to warm him up so he could wake up."
"That poor boy" I commented.
"It was seeing them both on the beach and I could not get the image out of my head that that could be me and it could be you who had found me. At the end of my shift I went home and chucked all my cans out, I didn't drink for over month. When I did start having the odd drink again I would always stop at two cans."
"I never saw you drunk?"
"The month when you would visit helped me to cut down, and on the nights when I needed a drink I wouldn't start drinking until you were in bed."
"Why have you told me this?" I asked
"So that you can see what happens when you don't carry on living and move on, I know it is not easy and if I ever meet another woman I would probably be scared of loving her" Charlie answered .
"I will try to dad I promise just please give me some time" I whispered.
"I will be here for you when you have a bad day, because Bella you will do to begin with."
We sat back in silence staying in our places until it was lunchtime; Charlie went up to the cruiser to grab the food and water. Once we had finished I got up and took the empty wrappers and tubs back to the cruiser, when I opened the door I noticed the spare rod and decided to take it with me.
When Charlie spotted the other rod he grinned before setting it up for me and giving it back, we spent the rest of the afternoon in silence watching the rods as they would jump every time a fish would get caught. By the end of the afternoon I was the proud owner of seven fishes compared to my dad's five.
"I would say that fishing must be in your blood, to be able to catch so many on your first go." Charlie said as we were clearing everything away.
"Beginners luck, I won't catch that many tomorrow." I told him as we loaded the gear into the car and got in.
"Tomorrow Billy and Jake will be joining us, I thought it was the least I could do considering we had Billy's permission to fish on the beach today" Charlie said as we pulled away from the beach.
"Sure dad that is fine" I replied, I really didn't want to see Billy but I knew if I refused it would upset Charlie and after today I owed him.
"You are not cooking tonight Bells I thought maybe we could go to the diner"
"Dad I don't want to its Saturday night people from school will be there." I complained not ready to see anybody yet.
"We will find a seat at the back where nobody can see us, you need to go back to school on Monday see this as a practise go."
"Fine but I want to get changed first."
"Of course, we can't leave the fish in the car anyway" Charlie said before we resumed our silence.
By the time I was changed and sat in the car I started to feel nervous I knew people would stare and feel sorry for me, when we pulled up I noticed that it was not that busy. We managed to get a table at the back and I purposely sat with my back to the rest of the diner, nobody approached the table apart from the waitress I ordered my food keeping my eyes on the menu and then looking out the window.
"See it's not so bad" Charlie said while we were waiting for our food to arrive.
"That's because I can't see anybody with my back to them."
"Nobody is looking at you Bella" Charlie commented just as our food arrived.
I ate quickly and was relieved when Charlie didn't want dessert, he paid the bill and I walked behind him out the diner keeping my head down so I couldn't see anybody.
When we got in I put the fish in the freezer before taking a shower and get ready for bed before getting in.
"Bells you decent?" Charlie asked from behind my door.
"Yep"
"Try to get some sleep you look tired, I will be here if you have another nightmare" Charlie said in the door way.
"I will try dad" I replied before he walked back out and shut the door.
That night I slept as soon as I rested my head on the pillow, when I was woken up by Charlie the next morning I realised that I did not have a nightmare, I didn't even dream I thought maybe it was the sea air yesterday or the fishing so I was only too eager to get up and get to the beach again.
When I got to the kitchen Charlie had once again made me coffee and had toast keeping warm in the toaster, I made sandwiches making sure to make enough for Billy and Jake before helping Charlie load up the car. I never thought I would be happy to go fishing but yesterday seemed to help by taking my mind off of everything else.
