Whoops, I got busy again. And then my brother was a computer hog. Oh well, here's the chapter!
Chapter 13
"Would you shut up already?!" real-Jack shouts at Lucifer.
My muse is still holding out that note, begging me for a mantis shrimp. I'm adamant about not giving him one, much to his (and really everyone else's) chargin.
"How is that not annoying you?" Leo asks.
"Currently, I have Simple and Clean stuck in my head, and that's tuning out Lucifer," I reply.
"Kingdom Hearts marathon or something?" Yasmine asks.
"Yes," I reply. "Between playing Birth By Sleep and starting Re:coded and Kingdom Hearts 1, I've got it ingrained in my memory. But it's really stuck in my head because I just had to look up the lyrics." That's how songs usually get stuck in my head; I look up the lyrics and memorize some or all of it… "But that doesn't matter right now. Jack, Carl, you're up with We Are One."
"Finally…" Jack says, jumping up onto the stage. Carl joins her, and I start the song, slightly disappointed in the fact that no random humor thing happened… Oh well.
"As you go through life, you'll see…" Carl starts, "There is so much that we… don't understand… And the only thing we know, is things don't always go… the way we planned… But you'll see every day that we'll never turn away…! When it seems all your dreams come undone…! We will stand by your side, filled with hope and filled with pride…! We are more than we are! We are one!"
And, right on cue, Meri and muse-Jack start singing the background part that I couldn't find the lyrics of. They're harmonizing pretty well, actually.
Now real-Jack's turn is up. She doesn't seem too happy, but other than that, starts singing her relatively short part. "If there's so much I must be, can I still just be me… the way I am? Can I trust in my own heart, or am I just one part… of some big plan?"
That's it. That's all her part is in the entire song.
So, looks like it's Carl's turn is up again. "Even those who are gone are with us as we go on… Your journey has only begun…! Tears of pain, tears of joy; one thing nothing can destroy… is our pride, deep inside, we are one! We are one, you and I! We are like the earth and sky! One family under the sun…! All the wisdom to lead, all the courage that you need! You will find when you see… we are one!"
And… that's the end of the song. As soon as it's over, real-Jack runs over to me. "Turn me back to normal. Now."
"Wrong person to ask," I reply.
He repeats the question to Meri. She refuses.
"You know, why don't you just change back all the people who have gone?" I ask her. Okay, that's really everyone who's been affected by the gender swap… still… "There's no point in having them stay like this."
Meri frowns, contemplating this. "Can I keep muse-Jack?"
"Sure."
She grins and snaps her fingers. A flash of light fills the room, and when it dims, everyone (except for Leo, Primo, and Lester) are back to normal. Akiza immediately heads to the bathroom.
Meh. Whatever. "Okay, time for the last song, Hakuna Matata!"
"No," Primo says.
The attention of everyone in the room goes to the Wisel user. He's adamantly sitting at a table, when Leo and Lester are already walking to the stage (the latter clearly extremely angry, but at least still moving).
"No," Primo repeats. "I'm not going to make a fool out of myself."
"So… let me get this straight," I say. "You'd rather face the Closet of Doom than sing Hakuna Matata?"
He pauses for a moment. "…Yes."
"What if I threw in an extra punishment?" I ask.
"Hmph. What can be worse than the Closet of Doom?"
I turn to my evil muses (excluding Lucy because she is still making the noise). "Well? Any ideas?"
"Plenty!" Meri, muse-Jack, and Shade chime at the same time. Somehow, a paper magically appears in Shade's hand, and he hands it to Primo.
"This is the rough draft of your punishments if you don't sing," Shade says.
"Rough draft?" Primo asks suspiciously, starting to look at the paper.
"Well, yeah! We have a tendency to think of more things as time goes on," Meri says. "Ooh, I've got another one!" She quickly adds it to the bottom of the page.
With that done, the Emperor reads the paper. If possible, his face grows paler by the second, and by the time he looks up, he's already agreeing to sing.
"What's on that paper?" Crow asks, trying to peer over Primo's shoulder.
The paper turns to dust instantly. "Sorry, but that was for Primo's eyes only," muse-Jack says. "Also, he's not allowed to tell you guys what was on it, because then we'd do everything on that list to him."
That piques my interest, but knowing my muses, they're probably going to end up incorporating those ideas into my other stories, or at least try to… which makes me a little worried. Eh, either way, they're all on stage now, so I start the song.
"Hakuna matata! What a wonderful phrase!" Lester starts.
"Hakuna matata! Ain't no passing craze!" Primo sings. He doesn't have a lot of spirit in it, though…
"It means no worries, for the rest of your days…" Lester sings, with Primo joining in for, "It's our problem-free philosophy…" and dropping out for "Hakuna matata!"
Here's for the speech interjection, but still… hilarious.
"'Hakuna matata?'" Leo asks.
"Yeah. It's our motto!" Primo replies.
Leo adopts a look of confusion as he continues, "What's a motto?"
"Nothing. What's a-motto with you?" Lester asks.
"You know kid, these two words will solve all your problems," Primo says.
"That's right. Take Pumbaa for example," Lester says. After this, he starts grinning and sings, "Why, when he was a young warthog…"
"When I was a young wart hog…" Even Primo cringes by how off-key he had to sing that line.
"Very nice," Lester says sarcastically.
"Thanks!" Primo replies.
"He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal! He could clear the savannah after every meal!" Lester sings, with the largest smile possible on his face. Of course he would like this, since it's basically allowing him to insult Primo.
"I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned," Primo continues. "And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind! And oh, the shame!"
"He was ashamed!"
"Thought of changin' my name!"
"What's in a name?"
"And I got downhearted…" Primo sings."
"How did ya feel?"
"Everytime that I…"
Lester cuts him off, "Hey! Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!"
"Oh! Sorry…"
On to the chorus, now. Lester, Primo, and Leo are all singing this. "Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze!"
"It means no worries for the rest of your days! It's our problem-free philosophy! Hakuna Matata!" Leo sings.
There's a short music break, and it's back to a speech interjection part. "Welcome to our humble home!" Primo and Lester say at the same time.
"You live here?" Leo asks.
"We live wherever we want!" Lester replies.
"Yep, home is where your rump rests!" Primo adds.
Leo looks around the holographic jungle. "It's beautiful," he says.
Primo burps, and says, "I'm starved!"
…The fact that he managed the burp makes me laugh a little.
"I'm so hungry, I can eat a whole zebra!" Leo exclaims.
"Uh... we're fresh out of zebra," Lester says nervously.
"Any antelope?" Leo asks.
"Nuh-uh."
"Hippo?"
"Nope," Lester says. "Listen, kid, if you live with us, you have to eat like us. Hey, this looks like a good spot to rustle up some grub!" Some sort of cartoony insect appears in his hand.
Leo looks disgusted as he says, "Eww... what's that?"
"A grub, what's it look like?" Lester replies, eating the insect. It splatters goop on his face.
"Eww, gross!" Leo exclaims.
I have to hand it to Lester, he doesn't seem grossed out at all by the fact that he has to lick the goop off his face and say, "Mm, tastes like chicken!"
Primo also has to eat one of the insects, and announce, "Slimy... yet satisfying!"
Another type of cartoony insect now, and Lester slightly drops out of character because he winces as he eats this one and says, "These are rare delicacies. Mm. Piquant, with a very pleasant crunch."
Although I can't help but laugh at the next part, because Primo has to stuff his mouth full of the creatures before saying, "You'll learn to love 'em!"
Lester's turn again. "I'm telling ya kid, this is the great life. No rules, no responsibilities…" Yet another type of cartoony insect appears, and catches Lester's attention. "Ooh, the little cream-filled kind! And best of all, no worries! Well, kid?"
Leo shrugs, "Oh well, hakuna matata…" He eats one of the insects. "Slimy, yet satisfying!"
"That's it!" Lester exclaims.
"Hakuna matata!" all three of them sing at the same time, repeating it six times before simply saying, "Hakuna…"
"It means no worries… for the rest of your days!" Leo sings.
Primo and Lester join in for the ending, "It's our problem-free philosophy! Hakuna matata!"
Yeah. The song gets applause, but pretty much everyone is laughing their heads off while they're at it. I can hardly blame them, especially when Primo announces, "I'm going to go burn my mouth now."
Like the "insects" were that bad. I made sure my muses made them some sort of edible food that was disguised to look like an insect. Unless one of them snuck a real one in? I wouldn't put it past them.
"Congratulations Primo, Lester, and Leo!" I exclaim. "You've concluded our Disney Karaoke session, and that means you get your wishes granted first!"
"Actually… you forgot someone," Lester says.
"Huh? No I didn't!" I reply. Right? Everyone in here except Sky has sung a song, and that's because she's immune to truths and dares. Unless they mean…? "Wait… you want… me to sing something?"
"You never said you were immune," Yusei says.
"Uh—well—now I am," I counter.
"Hah! She's too afraid to do it!" real-Jack laughs.
"I am not!" I counter. "I just don't want people abusing that fact!"
…The blonde-haired, violet-eyed man starts to mock me by making clucking and pretending he's a chicken.
My left eye twitches. "Fine. I'll sing. But—hmm—I'll be singing Simple and Clean. The version from the game intros. I think that makes it a shorter version? Regardless, it's the one I know…"
"That doesn't count!" Crow shouts.
"Technically it does," I say. "It's one of the theme songs of the Kingdom Hearts series, which is part Disney!" Honestly, I wouldn't mind singing something from, say, Tangled, but considering the fact that I really like Simple and Clean for some reason… I want to sing it… "Ah, just give me a few seconds," I add. "I need to add the song to the machine."
"Whatever," I hear someone mutter.
Once I get it in, I press start and hurry up to the stage because the music starts. But I have a bunch of time to spare because it's still doing the music introduction. Aaaaand I have to force myself not to dance—er, bop my entire body to the beat—because that would make me look like an idiot… even though it's what I do all the other times I listen to it…
"You're giving me…. too many things… lately! You're all I need… You smiled at me and said," I sing, echoing the last part because that's what it does in the normal song. Then I drop my voice for the next part, "'Don't get me wrong, I love you, but does that mean I have to meet your father?' When we are older you'll understand what I meant when I said, 'No, I don't think life is quite that simple!'"
Time for the bridge! "When you walk away, you don't hear me say, 'Please, oh baby, don't go.' Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight… It's hard to let it go…!"
But, hands down, the chorus is my favorite part. And I get to sing it twice! "Hold me! Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on! Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all… Nothing's like before!" I breath in as quickly as I can and sing it again, "Hold me! Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on! Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all… Nothing's like before!"
Dang it, I can't control the bopping after that. At least it's only a few seconds before the part that I was bopping to drops out, and we just listen to the rest of the track.
I sigh and leave the stage. That went… better than I expected it to. Considering I can barely sing the chorus… despite it being my favorite part…
"Hmph. I guess band students can sing," real-Jack says.
I whip my head in his direction and give him the best death glare I can muster. "What did you say?"
"I guess band students can sing," he repeats.
"And why… exactly… would you say that?" I ask slowly.
"Because I thought band students signed up for that class to get out of chorus."
That's it. I'm going to kill him.
…Well, that's if I beat Meri and muse-Jack to it, because they both whip out scissors and Meri screeches, "WHY DON'T YOU SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU LIMP NOODLE!"
Yeah. They end up chasing him into the Closet of Doom. Well… looks like I won't get my revenge. …Or will I…?
A portal opens up in my roof, and I grin. Perfect timing! A person falls through it. He collides with the floor and sits up, rubbing his head. To everyone in here, it looks like another Yusei just randomly appeared in the room. However, I know better. Like, for instance, the fact that he isn't actually Yusei.
"Uh… why is there another me…?" Yusei still asks.
"That's not you, that's Jack in your body. Er…" I stop, and correct myself, "This isn't the Jack just chased into the Closet of Doom. This is the one from mcdinh's story."
The guest shakes his head a few times, surveys the room, and demands, "What the hell is going on here?"
"Allow me to explain," I say. "During the most recent chapter of mcdinh's Ask and Torture Cast story, you said that she was 'the most sadistic b-word' you've ever met. However, that didn't bode well with me, Lucy, or Meri."
"Pfft. Clearly she already is more sadistic than you," he says. "You can't even curse!"
"That's because I was raised not doing it," I retort, "and I don't really want to start." I shake my head. "Still, you'll find that I have no issue writing the words… Lucy? …Oh for pete's sake, yes, you can have your flipping mantis shrimp!"
She stops making the sound, grins, and says, "Yes?"
"Why don't you tell this Jack some of the things you're planning to add in our other stories?" I know exactly what she's going to spill, because she vents every single new idea to me as soon as she comes up with it. Same with all of my other muses… "Oh, and you can throw in some of the things we already used. …Just not anything that you did to Jack, okay?"
The Jack from mcdinh's story raises an eyebrow. "Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of trying to scare me?"
"You'll find the other things scarring enough," I reply. "Also… well, the reason you can't see stuff that's happened to you is because I have an existing challenge with, heh, mcdinh. Whatever evil stuff we write involving a main character can't be seen by the one it affects. OCs don't count."
"THAT'S why you've been so damn protective of your computer," Crow mumbles.
"…Yeah. Anyways, Lucy, go ahead and tell him."
"Sure thing!" She snaps her fingers, and a piece of paper appears in her hands, not unlike the one Primo was shown earlier. Except there is going to be a difference, because this one is full of approved plot ideas while Primo's was just… pure evil.
It's enough to make Jack (er… Yusei's…?) face pale. "Uh… I… take back what I said. You… might be worse than mcdinh."
"Might?"
"Well, you don't know what she's planning, do you?" he retorts.
"Mm. True—"
I'm interrupted by a sudden flash of light, and both of my missing muses returning… without the Jack from this story. "Meri? Jack? What did you do?" I ask.
"He'll be back. Eventually," Meri says. "Hey, why's there a second Yusei?"
I quickly fill them in on what happened. Her eyes light up, and a pair of purple kid scissors materialize in her hand. "Target practice?"
"Not until he returns to his own body," I reply.
"Uh… what does she mean by target practice?" Jack asks.
"You'll find out," I reply. "Meri, you can go back with him, alright?"
"Eh… sure."
I snap my fingers, and they both disappear.
To be continued…
Next chapter goes back to some more dares, and also shows the characters' wishes. Should be fun. Thanks for reading, and I hope you tell me how I did!
